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Amy Poehler's lookalike Britney Simmons trolled for 'squirting vaginal fluids' at cops in Miami strip club

[quote] Trust the internet to latch on to a joke and run with it. Britney Simmons, a 24-year-old adult performer, was allegedly arrested on account of assaulting five police officers after an altercation broke out between her and several clients. Simmons, who was reportedly intoxicated, attempted to resist the arrest by allegedly ejecting vagina fluids towards the officer. As reported by World News Daily Report, this left two officers injured and three temporarily blinded.

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by Anonymousreply 17Last Thursday at 5:41 AM

It's pee.

by Anonymousreply 1Last Wednesday at 6:16 PM

They’ve weaponized their vaginas! Everybody RUN!!

by Anonymousreply 2Last Wednesday at 6:17 PM


Damn. She’s ancient.

by Anonymousreply 3Last Wednesday at 6:17 PM

Not impressed unless she can cradle a mug down there.

by Anonymousreply 4Last Wednesday at 6:19 PM

Is she part dilophosaur?

She looks like a creepy CGI version of Amy Poehler.

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by Anonymousreply 5Last Wednesday at 6:20 PM

From the article:

She “left two officers injured and three temporarily blinded”.

Girl got WAP!

by Anonymousreply 6Last Wednesday at 6:22 PM

“Knowing full well that she was exposing police officers to a number of sexually transmitted diseases, and potentially HIV as well, it is considered that she used her vagina with lethal force against the officers.”

If this goes to trial, I can only imagine what the prosecution’s Exhibit A will be.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Wednesday at 6:26 PM

Another Vagina Thread?....THIS is why I am quitting DL....It's not gay and fun anymore...

by Anonymousreply 8Last Wednesday at 6:26 PM

She has a poison snooch.

by Anonymousreply 9Last Wednesday at 6:26 PM

My work is done, R2.

by Anonymousreply 10Last Wednesday at 6:28 PM

Oh, R8 is going to take his ball and go home! Oh no! What will we do without him!

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by Anonymousreply 11Last Wednesday at 6:29 PM

Recently released footage of the incident

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by Anonymousreply 12Last Wednesday at 6:30 PM

She's probably more entertaining and funnier than the real Amy. Not that’s it’s very hard.

by Anonymousreply 13Last Wednesday at 6:42 PM

World News Daily Report is a fake news website.

by Anonymousreply 14Last Wednesday at 7:06 PM

"I'm melting!"

by Anonymousreply 15Last Wednesday at 8:07 PM

Yeah they’re the (fake satirical) news version website of the music one MadHouse Magazie. One of my favourite writers/comics writes for them Claudia Comedy. My now ex BF turned me onto her comedy when he saw her put some homophobic frat bros in their place ages ago OFF stage.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Thursday at 4:31 AM

How does one catch that many STD's from one drunk bimbo pissing on your cop uniform?

by Anonymousreply 17Last Thursday at 5:41 AM
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