Is anyone else depressed by the pandemic?

It will be over relatively soon, get your vax and stop whining unless you have lost your job or something. 500k+ have died and you didn't.

Yes. I have been eating my depression like a fat whore for months.

Everything feels like momentary respite before the depression comes back.

I have felt suicidal off and on (not seriously) for many months. I have a long history of suicidal feelings, dating to my teen years, and the pandemic has definitely facilitated their return.

What country are you posting from, OP? Germany? France? Brazil?

R3 Canada

Yes, OP. It has gotten to me. For a long time I was okay but I seem to have lost the fight. I hope my mood changes. Good luck to you.

Many parts of the country have just given up the fight. That’s depressing.

OP, how are you doing?

Yea, it is pretty depressing with all the totalitarian restrictions going in certain parts of the country. Makes life almost seem like it's not even with living.

Maybe you should be more depressed about your right-wing bullshit r8

I am usually pessimistic by nature, but I have been reading articles lately saying that Americans are getting vaccinated at a great rate of speed now and in the foreseeable future, some people won’t have to wear masks. I thought you were doing better in America? Why are you so down?

Well, what do you think after a year +? On the other hand, returning to anything like it was before is kind of daunting in a lot of ways. There are people I don't ever care to see again and things I don't want to begin doing again.

i drink. a lot. and i don't bathe as often as i used to. i've had depression my entire life, but it's pretty bad now.

That's ok R11, you can continue to hide under the bed.

OP and R12 - same. Depressed and drinking again. So many restrictions and they change every day. Did we lose our freedom? Of course. Our reason to go out and be in groups? Yes. Do anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers make me think this shit will go on forever due to their stupidity? Yes. Also I try like hell each day...walk, try to work and cook and bought some fancy soaps for a 5 minute relax time after a few drinks. I need to stop drinking...this needs to end. Everyone I talk to is mentally wiped out.

[quote] Why are you so down?

Because he's a big fucking whiner, as are most of the other people in this thread. We're finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and these fuckers have chosen now to carry on as though there were no vaccines and we were still living under maximum, spring and summer 2020-esque restrictions.

[quote] Yea, it is pretty depressing with all the totalitarian restrictions going in certain parts of the country.

What parts of the country would those be? I can't think of any that haven't lifted some to all restrictions at this point.

If you bitches think they won't be locking down again and again because of some scary new variant, you haven't been paying attention. Your pathetic little vaccine passes will have to be renewed constantly with yet more unproven vaccines, or it's no going out/vacation/job/life for you! This is what you wanted, bitches! Safety above all else.

I live in the province of Ontario and just the other day we were put into Lockdown yet again for a month - Easter cancelled again just like last year. This is the most boring, worst, dreary Easter that I've ever had. It can only get better at this stage of the game. I get my first vaccine next week and I think this is the solution: get everyone vaccinated and then develop herd immunity, then possibly more vaccine/booster shots in the years to come. I want this whole thing to end! I'm holding on but something's got to give! People are not going to put up with this forever!

Oh fuck off, r15. I have struggled with serious depression since I was fifteen -- over 20 years ago. I was hospitalized several times in my early 20s.

I have spent many, many years in therapy. I have tried countless meds -- anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers. I have made many changes to my life, eg, I stopped drinking. I live a quiet life. I have done almost everything "right," especially since I hit my 30s, and I STILL struggle with depression and I STILL feel suicidal, especially in times of stress.

You don't just "bounce back" when pandemic restrictions are lifted. I imagine most people who became depressed during the pandemic struggled with depression, to a lesser or greater degree, before the pandemic.

R18 It's never going to end. Lockdowns and fear and masks and safetyism suits too many powerful people.

I've been kinda depressed, but kinda empowered by this pandemic as well. I'm nearly done with an accelerated online Bachelor's I started in March 2020, right at the start of the pandemic. Writing seriously for the perhaps the first time.

I've gained some weight and I'm an anxiety ridden shut in, but that's okay. I'll be okay, and so will you.

R2 (also R18) - people who don't or haven't struggled with depression and things like that aren't ever gonna empathize. Also, American culture is really inhumane to those who have been through what you have been through. While your story is much more grave than mine, I also struggle and I am in one of the worst moods ever. I think if I had been alone in a foreign country shut in I may also have been much worse. In any case, I know and you know that recovery will take time on a mental level. It doesn't happen overnight. Hang in there. I am with you!

R21 - I respect your optimism and wish I could somehow get it to rub off on me. I have put in a sold 1.5 years of published work during this time but have succumbed to weight gain, letting myself go, drinking and smoking. I am now starting to walk again for a few hours a day, trying hard to count calories and bought a scale. I am also struggling but I am a realist and know this is what it will be for awhile and mental states are fragile.

No, just you OP.

I work out, I drink a ton of water, I cook for myself, go on long walks, limit screen-time, gave up drinking . I am struggling worse than ever before. You are not alone. It’s going to take awhile, but know you are not alone.

There has been a massive global pandemic which has caused death and severe illness to millions, and all I have been asked to do to fight it is stay in my comfortable home, log into my computer and continue my fairly well-paid work. My family and friends have not yet been badly affected by Covid, and by the summer, I may be able to travel to be with them.

I live alone, and I really miss being with people. I’ve also been doing a lot of emotional eating which makes me feel bad. I also feel a little guilty that I haven’t made a bigger contribution to overcoming this disease, but to a great extent I am just really grateful and fortunate. Other people have made much bigger sacrifices to get the world through this. They have a right to feel sorrow and loss. I don’t think I do.

I don’t understand comments like “put up with this” and blaming politicians. This is a virus and if you catch it, you might die. For damage control, sometimes things have to be shut down. How is that anyone’s fault? What do you mean “people won’t put up with this”? What is the alternative: destroying your health with permanent COVID symptoms or dying?

OP I"m another Canadian feeling increasingly down about this situation. Today was a beautiful sunny day and it makes me think things are going great, but then I remember how terrible things actually are and I get really depressed.

It sucks being unemployed as well.

R27 - look at the protests all over Europe. I agree with you 100%...better than death by COVID but people are impatient. Humans aren't always logical creatures. In fact, for many protesting and taking off the masks, at least among those I see on BBC and DW, they say they want to take the risk. It's crazy, but so are people.

I’m tired of feeling so restricted and not seeing family. This is the second Easter I haven’t spent with my family. I’ve had some short visits with my parents when restrictions eased a bit, but we’re back to stricter measures again. At this point, I’d even like to go back to the office to work.

R25 - I admire your discipline. I want to get there too. Also don't forget the electrolytes. Been taking them in hot tea, infused with lemon and organic honey and they are a must

R26 - I have a reasonable amount of savings such that if I lost my job tomorrow I could be ok a year or so and also have some money in the family yet am falling apart. I also tell myself I don't have a right to feel like this but I know depression is just like diabetes. You need to work to control it. A lot.

Is this an old thread from last year? WTF!?

We are still recovering from the trauma of the Trump reign, global warming is getting worse, for many of us we are living in poverty with inadequate health care, shootings, creeping fascism and aging. No wonder we are so fucking depressed.

R34 get over it.

R34 - honey, if you listen to DL, these queens make over 200K a year. But we know that is not true. Ameircans (and, thanks to the pandemic, everyone else) are struggling. I kind of feel like this is what my grandparents said about the WW2 years.

R36- Yes, I really feel like loser sometimes when I read some of their posts, 😆

Fucking China.

Each day blends into each other for months on end. I don't know if I'm depressed - the boredom has become so commonplace that I don't know if I notice it anymore.

I had my first shot and that gave me a lot of optimism for the first time in months. I'm just hoping in about 8 weeks we'll somewhat resemble a society again.

It’s normal back to life where I live. I have my vaccinations and double mask but I’m active again

[...]

Yes, OP. I am depressed I can't visit Canada.

R41- Yes, I agree that because of selfish and ignorant people these deaths weren't avoided, the same with the complete devastation of the economy. That does make this even more depressing. We also had the very worse president in the history of this country at the worse time. It is difficult to not be a bit bitter. The fact that the motherfucker still walks free makes it all even harder to take.

[quote]something's got to give! People are not going to put up with this forever!

And then what? What are people going to do? Revolt? Form a mob? Storm the Capitol?

I have grown used to some aspects of pandemic life. Less social pressure and less overcrowding in New York City. I hope we have a continued lull before the city is once again unpleasantly crowded and everyone is stomping all over each other to get into events. Train trips and socially distanced visits to museums have helped me cope on weekends

There is a monotonous aspect to pandemic life but I can handle it at this point. Maybe it helps that I am older now. I think we will see that disaster has affected us in ways we don’t know yet.

I send all my sympathy and support to those who are struggling. Find whatever you need to get through this. Don’t worry about weight gain or anything like that, it is not the end of the world.

At some point, if we can't get to herd immunity, the Fed. government needs to make vaccination mandatory, and arrest anyone who refuses, vaccinate them and send them back home. We can't let mental cases keep the pandemic going.

I feel you OP. I'm kind of depressed with the overall state of the world, not just the pandemic. It started with Trump's election in 2016 and has gotten progressively worse. I feel like half the country has lost its fucking mind and I don't know where the hell I live anymore. It's depressing and really scary. Add to that the almost 3 million COVID deaths worldwide, the struggling economy, the unemployment, the hunger and yes, things are feeling very bleak. I've been fighting the despair by doing things that I take joy in like reading, cooking, watching old movies and going for long walks. It helps. I've also decided that instead of complaining about the state of the world, I'm going to do everything I can to make it better for others and myself. For me, that begins with getting vaccinated, wearing my mask when I go out and maintaining social distance. I wish you all health, happiness and serenity.

You're an idiot R46.

Newsflash OP: Yes, it's been trying, but as R1 said, it'll be over sooner than you seem to think.

And yes, hundreds of thousands have died in the US, 2.8 million have died around the world...but that represents 0.036 percent of the world's population of 7.8 billion.

For all you math whizzes out there, that means MORE THAN 99% of the world's population has SURVIVED.

The sky isn't falling.

Boo hoo woe is me. Everything sucks. Nobody likes me. Boo hoo. I don’t have any $. Boo hoo. I am in lousy health. Woe is me.

R48 brings some welcome perspective, but the US has a higher mortality rate last year than it has in many years and was not prepared for a tsunami of over 500,000 deaths. This was going to scare people no matter what.

r49, you sound like a lovely person.

I go from depression to anxiety and back and forth. The problem for me is I've lost my appetite and dont care to eat anything. Ive dropped so much weight that it's alarming. All i care to do is drink lots of wine and sneak a cigarette every now and then. Even going out to do little things, like shopping or paying bills is frustrating because businesses have stopped or changed their service.

For instance, I go to my favorite restaurant(s) only to find out i can't switch out some of the food choices like I've always done before. Now im told it's not allowed. Same trying to go to the bank. Turns out they close much earlier now. Plus there's less staff so the lines often snake out the door. Just things like that makes simple everyday things frustrating.

Aww, don't cry too much now r41, you may be ok with having no life, since you probably didn't have one before all this began. But dont think for one second that people like you are going to tell me how I'm going to live MY life!

This is traumatic for ALL of us, experiencing a global pandemic for the first time in our lifetimes. It's effecting everyone in different ways. Tie a BIG knot and hang on - there IS a light at the end of the tunnel and it WILL end sooner or later. It's awful but it's part of life right now and we just have to get through it somehow. Do what works for you.

It really is at the beginning of the end though, I think. People are getting vaccinated every day. Although I worry that the variants will require booster shots, possibly on a yearly basis. I wonder how many people will consent to get these shots.

This American “freedom” shit will be the death of us all. All these lunatic political references that have nothing to do with reality. Freedom to die?

It’ll be over and it’ll be like it never happened.

I've honestly been much better off emotionally throughout the lockdown. Of course I hate that so many people have died, but it has been great to be away from all of the idiots, especially at work.

Me too R57.

I am an introvert. A quiet person. The pandemic shut down is actually made it easier for me because life is more simple and not so loud.

But Trump did kill half 1 million people.

I honestly don't know anyone who's happy right now, irrespective of money or whatever.

People who keep stating that they know this will never be over: in a number of parts of the world, including where I live, life is pretty much back to normal. We haven't been in lockdown since April last year, we've never had to wear masks, the only thing we can't do is travel internationally. We're still vigilant of course, but really it's like very little is different. I never take this for granted, but it does make you sound pretty ridiculous when you act like you KNOW you'll be living in endless lockdowns.

I'm not gonna lie R57/R58, not being around folks at work has been a relief.

OP

The lockdowns have been useless, and the epidemic of depression and suicidal ideation is becoming critical. Unless this bullshit is ended immediately, suicides and drug overdoses and domestic violence that ends in murder will end up killing more people than COVID-19.

People keep saying we're all in this together, but the aggression and rudeness I've seen is much more blatant than before. Nobody stops for STOP signs or uses any courtesy on the road, not like there was much before. Middle-aged women actually make contact with their shopping carts deliberately to get out of their way.

I live in the Hudson River Valley and maybe it's just a quirk of the social landscape, R64, but I have seen very little of such behavior here and the local stores, etc., have all been super helpful.

But then people here, whatever their politics, have been good about wearing masks overall and respecting people's space.

I'm sorry you're depressed, OP, and I think we all are. It's helped me immensely to have a long term writing project or two I could devote myself to.

No numbers bear out R63’s hysterical claims of mass murders and suicides. Maybe a few hand-wringing anecdotal articles expressing worry about these things. Nothing else.

Oh, and the Trump administration made a huge deal out of taking control of the opiate addiction problem. First Chris Christie was in charge of it. Then Jared. Then Kellyanne Conway (well-known expert in public health). Then no one. Trump had years to work on it before the trouble started and did nothing. So no thanks to the Hogface.

R63 is a screeching chunk of Trump Trash.

The suicide rate went DOWN in 2020 compared to previous years.

I was already depressed. Life got stranger. Drinking a lot.

I’m an introvert so I can handle solitude pretty well, but I’ve been struggling lately too. I feel generally listless and unmotivated. Weekends are difficult without any structure at all. I welcome the work week because the days have structure and, in spite of myself, I can get stuff done and feel productive. The warmer weather is also impacting my mood. I guess in winter I’m used to staying home more so quarantining was easier.

We’re making great progress in the states and I wouldn’t doubt a return to semi-normalcy once the majority of the population is vaccinated. What depresses me more than the pandemic is how abysmally ignorant and selfish so many Americans are and how social media has given loudmouthed idiots everywhere free rein to spread their bullshit.

Of course we are . . . . .

I've been basically under house arrest for over a year.

I'm wearing a freaking mask everywhere I go.

My fingernails are ruined from hand sanitizer.

My cousin (a nurse) died from covid-19 last summer, and there was no funeral.

I miss spending time with family & friends.

r69 join the club.

I have no motivation to do anything whatsoever. I’m struggling just with reapplying for unemployment benefits for the next year. It just seems so daunting. Whenever I struggle with any kind of paperwork I just say fuck it and stop doing it. I have no patience.

r74 i feel the same way. my registration and driver's license are expired (DL because of registration lapse, which i paid for and they want a smog check). i don't have the time or bandwidth to spend over an hour on hold to try to talk to a CA DMV rep to figure out what i need to do. plus this car is about to give out and i am going to move across the country and get another car when i get there. but i can't be fucking bothered with this bs. fuck you, i paid the registration fee and you took it.

What depresses me is that I know a couple who are usually just the most awesome people. They help the homeless by putting bags of clothing and toiletries together for them and personally deliver the items and to them at least a couple of times a month and on holidays, donate heavily to animal causes, they're very generous to others, wonderful hosts and so on.

A few months ago.....I find out that they're anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers. They do wear masks without issue while in public, but only because it's mandated. They are not right wing, racist, homophobic Trumpers but are basically hippie types into natural medicines etc... I disagree with them so much on this and have distanced myself from them.

Until Covid hit, I knew they were a little different and hippy-like, but I had no idea they'd be anti-maks/vaxxers. It's really sad. I don't know what me relationship with them will be like once this is all over.

r76 that really sucks. i just don't understand anti-mask/vaxxers. it's astoundingly stupid. know that there a people that still care about others, still believe in doing what is best for the greater good. fuck any of you that think otherwise.

Nope. Loving every minute of it. Making bank in my career off it. And humans suck, so good riddance.

I, too, am making bank while this lasts and have quite a bit in the bank r78, but i don't like the rest of it (possibility of myself, friends, family dying, hello?). stop being so selfish, asshole.

Thanks, R77. It does suck.

These people aren't the obnoxious types and they do wear masks in public without a fuss. They're both very conscious of how others feel and follow public health guidelines about distancing, sanitizing hands in public etc... it's just that they don't believe in them. And, of course, they have no plans to get the vaccine. I guess you could say they're "quiet" anti-maskers/vaxxers.

It's so difficult because I don't know if I should write them off? They do so many good things for the community, more than most people ever do actually. They literally drive around areas where the homeless congregate and deliver food, clothing, and whatever to them. I know, because I helped on a few occasions pre-covid and have picked up items from the dollar store for them to hand out.

Ugh...do I "unfriend" them permanently or what? Obviously, if they were homophobic, conservative idiots, the choice would be easy (well, then I wouldn't be friends with them in the first place), but they're not.

Hmmm...seems most here feel most people "suck" and have been very selfish and irresponsible in the pandemic. At least in America? Worldwide?

I'm part Canadian but born and have always lived in America....can Canadians here confirm if fellow Canadians have been as selfish, rude and irresponsible as most or all Americans supposedly have been? Just curious.

I find most on the subways and in stores and on the sidewalks in and near here in Boston are polite and respectful, and 95%-99% wear masks properly. And as many here may know, Boston and the New England region is supposedly full of "Massholes," folks who are supposedly proud of that title, and overall supposedly a populace of cold, rude and snobby people. But it's been as good as I can hope for in trying times. (Not from New England, so not bragging about the people, but have lived here almost of my adult life after coming for college in 1978.) ...

I wish posters here would mention which part of the world or even which state, province or region they reside. Someone above said it's been back to almost normal for a long time, without masks! But where does he/she live?

Just past Xmas my partner of 30 years became ill. So I’ll that he had to go into hospital. An overcrowded hospital at the worst time. There was no bed on a ward. He spent two days in an improvised bed in a vulnerable part of the hospital. He caught COVID there. He had little chance to respond to treatment for his illness because COVID did for him finally. Oh, we’re both old. Well, he was. I still am.

I miss him beyond description. Still in lockdown grieving is almost impossibly all encompassing. No distraction, no respite. But, you know, fuck it. I refuse to fall into a pit of despair. Maybe just because I’m an ornery sod ( he was too ) and don’t like to give in. Maybe having lived through the AIDS epidemic I’ve seen way too many friends die. Maybe because I have no idea about or belief in what may come after death so I see no reason to hasten its’ inevitability too much. Things may get better, things may get worse.

In the meantime, fuck the world and just keep going.

Sorry R81, that was me and I live in Tasmania. We're very lucky because as an island we can shut the whole thing down as soon as something happens, and then reopen very quickly afterwards.

It's devastating hearing how hard people are doing it at the moment. Collectively I send you all a big hug. I hope it improves for you all soon.

Here in Australia there are some silly selfish people for sure, R81. The idiocy over toilet paper in the supermarkets showed that. But in general, I feel people have been pretty good about it. At least in my part of the country. We've been looking at what has happened in the US with bewilderment mostly.

i live 60 miles North of SanFran. i have severely limited my public exposure and don't go to supermarkets very often, i tend to use delivery services. everywhere i do go demands face masks, and i'm happy for that. i am not shy to say something if someone isn't wearing a mask (last October on a plane next to me). Seriously, it's not that much of an inconvenience. what is wrong with people?!

[quote]Nope. Loving every minute of it. Making bank in my career off it.

You do you and keep showing that hole on Onlyfans

R66

At Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis, the number of children and teens hospitalized after suicide attempts went up from 67 in 2019 to 108 in 2020. And October 2020 saw a 250% increase in these numbers over the previous October, says Hillary Blake, a pediatric psychologist at the hospital.

You just don’t want to admit that you are a mass murdering bitch who destroyed the lives of millions of people with unscientific lockdowns and social distancing bullshit that has zero scientific evidence behind it. You are a war criminal you fucking Cunt.

R74 here. Thanks R75. Part of me doesn’t mind being unemployed because I hated my job anyway. But eventually I got to find another!

That smog the check thing is a pain in the ass. Are you going to be selling the car anyway?

R78 & R79, if you don’t mind me asking what do you do? I too would like to make some bank! Maybe become a repo man?

loan processor. it's probably about to dry up. yes, won't be driving the car back east and need to find an alternate transport for myself and the few belongings i care about.

I was reading that they are developing a Covid vaccine that can be inhaled (like an asthma medication, up your nose), so that in the future, they'll be able to mail these to people instead of having to have a medical person administer a shot.

This gives me hope because I was very worried that we might not be able to do an all-out vaccination effort for 70% of the population every single year.

Try listening to some upbeat music to take your mind off things & improve your mental state OP.

I'm currently listening to the "Unique 90s Songs" playlist by Tuatara Boo on YT.

It has over 100 upbeat songs (at the start) from about 2 minutes going up to 12 minutes that lasts for several hours.

Play mindless video games while smoking copious amounts pot, silly.

You suck your father's cock with that mouth, R86?

We're all depressed to some degree. Many people don't even know it. And those who have struggled with anxiety and depression for years are no doubt suffering the most. It's time for compassion and understanding, not criticism.

Telling people to "Stay Strong" just doesn't cut it.

273 3/8 lbs as of this morning

I know I know I’m a FAT FRUSTRATED WHORE

I am clawing my way out of a very very severe depression. I never thought I could be as low as I was. Could not function, have been unemployed for a year due to my mental health. My husband has been helpful, but there's only so much he can do. Six months ago I could barely get off the couch, and would have panic attacks before I would leave the house once a day to walk our dog. Compounded by Trumpism rearing its ugly head, and seeing the American Police State in action all last summer. I've come to some realizations lately and have been doing a lot of self-talk, coaching, actively trying to insert good things in my life (walks, yoga, meditation, reading). I'm determined to get better. The world has completely changed lately, and so have I, but I'm going to make the best of it.

R82 sending you a BIG HUG!! So sorry about your loss. I couldn’t imagine losing my partner during this Covid madness. I hope you are doing OK.

R95, I feel you. I was working a retail job before the holidays hit, and I quit because I didn't want to get sick. Then my mental health spiraled. Haven't taken another job yet because I don't feel capable. I moved back home temporarily, and it's nice being around my family.

Best wishes to R82!!

R95. Wish I could give you a hug. I didn’t work for years due to mental health problems. You are being courageous in finding something good about this.

I find that I do not want to do anything any longer. Not clean , cook, bathe, ect. I do not want to talk to anyone. I stay in my room. Everything is a monumental effort. Things that shouldn't be. Like laundry, cooking, ect. I find that I do not give a flying fuck about much of anything. I am just doing time until I am off of this horrible fucking planet. At least the panic attacks have stopped . Thanks President Biden. I have started doing low dose mushrooms. Here's to hoping. Whatever.

I was already very depressed, Covid just made it all worse.

Yes. I'm fully vaccinated, husband has had the first shot, and he is saying "if I feel safe 14 days after the 2nd one... " F that. I'm going to go out and do something if he won't come along after that.

I have been drinking too much as well. I feel a little uneasy like all the hard core restrictions could come back. I want to live a little while I can.

The way people have been driving, the way people are discourteous -- work seems like an endless cycle these days. It IS very depressing.

Seeing kind Canadians suffer makes me upset. I am happy I can once again be thankful for being an American, where our government has their shit together with regards to COVID. Additionally lockdowns would not be accepted in the US. You all are simply too nice allowing everyone else to jump in front of you for the vaccine purchases then going back into hiding due to government incompetence.

Only when I think about Trump getting away with over a half million deaths.

When this is over, nobody will remember this pandemic or deaths.

I wish we'd have another lockdown. I like working at home and staying at home.

R106- same. I have no desire to be around anyone and the pandemic is a great excuse to not have to. As I insane as it sounds, I only care to share my feelings with the people here on DL. I would not be communicating with anyone at all if it wasn't for the people here.

I was a critical care nurse, retiring in 2018.

I had grand and glorious plans for retiring. Visiting relatives that I haven't spent time with in what seems like ages, day trips or weekend getaways to my favorite places, gardening, lunch or dinner with friends, just simple things that bring me peace and joy. Little did I know what was around the corner.

I received a call to return to work in March of 2020, but I respectfully declined. I knew the mental and physical stress of working 12+hour shifts would take it's toll. I'm just going to find peace where and however I can. I've always loathed the expression "one day at a time", but right know it's what I do.

I feel encouraged now.

[quote]At Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis, the number of children and teens hospitalized after suicide attempts went up from 67 in 2019 to 108 in 2020. And October 2020 saw a 250% increase in these numbers over the previous October, says Hillary Blake, a pediatric psychologist at the hospital.

Now do the kids who lost a parent to Covid in the past year ... 40,000 in the U.S. alone, because people like you don't believe in masks or social distancing.

R72 - get some dish gloves. My roommate also got her nails thin and a horrid case of eczema from so much washing. Now she does the dishes once a day and uses gloves and a special detergent and puts on music. She says it's therapeutic. Got a lamp and tools and does her own gel manicure once a week...puts on nice music, glass of wine...says it lifts her spirit. Hell, at this point whatever works. For me it's a spritzer, music, clean the floor or chop up the veggies for the next recipe I will try, a relaxing bath and sleep. We are all coping differently.

[quote] I knew the mental and physical stress of working 12+hour shifts would take it's toll.

I wonder at times about all the PTSD our nurses and doctors are going to have from this going forward.

I read. 24/7 . I shut my world out. I shut it all out and shut it down by refusing to give my brain one damn second to focus on it. Read, read, read.

R113. I love your solution. What are you reading now? Have you always read so much? Do you live alone?

[quote]Unless this bullshit is ended immediately, suicides and drug overdoses and domestic violence that ends in murder will end up killing more people than COVID-19.

R144-- Thank you, and yes, I have always read. When I would go to the library as a child I my mother would laugh and smile at me because I always had a stack of books, as many as the library would allow. It has been somewhat of a problem my entire life, really. My family complained that I am always reading and they feel shut out. Now he complains. But I can't help it lately. It is how I was escape my world and live in other places. I love to read about reality. Since Trump I also become a news junkie, but that is somewhat fading now that I do not have to worry about a complete fucking psychopath getting us nuked.

[quote] now that I do not have to worry about a complete fucking psychopath getting us nuked

Phew, thankfully agree, R116.

R108 I do not blame you for not wanting to go back to work. You did your “time” so to speak. Now it’s time for you to take care of you. No one realizes how draining the medical field is unless they’re in it. I don’t know how doctors and nurses do not have PTSD.

I was anxious and depressed but I vaped obsessively and was essentially self-medicating.

But I quit, and though I have no desire to start again, my uptake receptors are NOT happy. I most likely had diagnosable depression before and so, of course, I am now experiencing it double I think. Sleep patterns all fucked up, too, and that can not be helping.

Not gonna call them out by their R-number or anything but it's pretty interesting that someone claiming to basically be suicidal and who no longer cares about anything anymore is one of our worst Meghan Markle hater spammers. Just hundreds of comments about how Meghan Markle is evil personified, all the non-haters she's put on ignore, all the nasty insults she lobs at literally everyone else on DL... and all the times she's called gay DL regulars "it" instead of "he" is pretty interesting, too.

It's not huge insight to realize the most unhappy people are also the ones desperate to make everyone around them miserable, too, but it's interesting every time I see it in action.

R120 Dex?

Guys,

I don't know if any of you need this advice, but I just want to share.

Whenever I feel very anxious (this COVID thing, but at other sad times of life), I start not being able to sleep more than 4 hours a night--and my health goes downhill from there. What always gets me back to normal is taking anti-stress herbs pill (a mix of herbs like ashwagandrah, schisandra, etc.) and a magnesium supplement (either mag citrate or mag glycinate).

It always helps, and my sleep patterns return to normal in a few days.

R122. I feel your pain having no sleep. My fucking quack Dr. stopped my sleep meds after an altercation i had at home. Thus, no sleep!

Also, there is no government agency that will look after anyone that suffers from COVID PTSD. Its not like in the military where combat veterans MAY have some options. There's nothing in place now to help us. And if the fucking Repigs have any means, they will boast about not giving a goddamn about it. They just don't give a shit about their stupid ass constituents or anyone but big donor oil and gas.

I don't mean to encourage it, but if people want to off themselves, do a good thing and take out a Repig asshole with you and not just a bunch of random innocents. Make it count!

(p.s. stating Repig and asshole is redundant...oh well.)

So, I’m not the only one sleeping three hours a day and obsessively doom scrolling?

Work stumbles and delays during this period have me waking up depressed and despondent. Then I hoist myself up and start the day with some little tasks and the day gets better. That said, it hasn’t been been getting that much better but I’ve been pulling along bit by bit, mile by mile, and I hope man by man in the not too distant future.

Women are affected bad.

As long as people refuse to follow simple guidelines, we are screwed.

Think yesterday's baseball game, 40,000+ people packing the stadium, very few wearing masks.

R124- You are not at all alone. I fall asleep with my reading glasses on and my phone in my hand every night. I never sleep longer than an hour or so at a time. Exhausted 24/7. Read, read, read. Block it all out.

R106 & 107 = losers with no life, being in lockdown makes them feel normal, rather than the freaks they are!

Hobbies people. Hobbies. I collect, restore, and sell postmodern and mid century furniture, lamps, vases. It's a fetish. Stupid material possessions. Researching them, cleaning them.

My partner was always a gardener, but is now obsessive about it. Our son plays video games like it's his job. Cooking is important . Swimming. Walking dog. I do DIY stuff around house, just redid a bathroom.

It's all bullshit, but it's a distraction and reason to get out of bed. I drank pretty heavily for the first 6 months of pandemic, but it didn't work long term, I was getting too depressed and negative.

Cycling, RC airplanes, orchids, woodworking, sex, old movies. Just do something stupid all the time, complete distraction. Work and other people aren't going to help.

Last night was the first night that I actually slept a solid eight hours. I can't remember the last time that happened. It was due to sheer exhaustion and side effects from new medication. Since the pandemic, I usually average 3-5 hours nightly.

🙄 States bowing to pressure and reopening business up to 75% capacity (which actually means closer to 100%) are beginning to pay the price. Five states have skyrocketing surges in cases, and will only get worse. We'll be back in lockdown eventually if people don't wise up. We all need to remain vigilant. We've got a long way to go.

Sorry, Joe, as much as I want a sense of normalcy to return to my life, it's too early to predict a safe and happy 🇺🇸 4th of July spent with family and friends. I'd rather be safe@home for now as opposed to joining the crowds in bars and restaurants, and on the beaches. My life is too valuable.

[quote]We'll be back in lockdown eventually if people don't wise up.

I think that ship has sailed. If Democratic Governor Whitmer isn't instituting any restrictions in Michigan, which is ground zero for new cases and variants, no state is going to lock back down. Governors and health departments are pinning all their hopes on vaccinations outrunning the virus.

My mind has never been so clear, my nipples never so alert.

We Americans can't survive without worshipping the almighty dollar. Capitalism necessitates that we keep businesses open and keep buying or we'll not have an economy. We need tourism or some vacation cities will shut down. So what if people die, we don't have any alternative. This is where we are. For better or not.

R54 = Super MARY!

R132, a.k.a. Chicken Little...see R48 for some perspective.

[quote]see [R48] for some perspective.

"Sorry your mom died, but think of the 99% of the world's population that survived!"

That's ok R132, you can continue to cower in the corner. I'm sure you won't be missed anyway!

[quote]It will be over relatively soon, get your vax and stop whining unless you have lost your job or something. 500k+ have died and you didn't.

I lost a job and a career

Me too, R70! Are you also single?

R96- Don't I get a hug?

I know I know

FAT WHORES don't deserve hugs.

I had a day off today and I was going to use it by going to my favorite antique mall that I haven't been to in a couple of months.

Then I heard that the Ford gov't was shutting Ontario down again and instead of taking the day and having a nice trip, I got so Goddamned depressed I slumped down on my couch and watched TV all day.

I'm normally a loner and an introvert, but the occasional outing into the real world helped me get through life.

I may get FF'd for this but I never stopped going out to go food shopping. I didn't need clothes, shoes, etc. so I didn't go to those stores. I bought a new car in November. Yes, I went to the dealership. I took a test drive but it was by myself; no salesperson was with me. The bank lobbies were closed but I still went to the drive thru. I've been working from home but I was working from home 2-3 days a week pre-COVID. I still go for my walks and see my neighbors walking and/or walking their dogs. I've eaten in restaurants maybe 4 times since last March. My nail salon opened up in June last year and I still get my mani-pedis once a month.

The drinking thing was a concern for me but only when the liquor stores were closed. I ordered a case of wine every couple of weeks. For me, having all that wine here, I did consume more than I normally would. Now I feel I can regulate myself better.

I should add that I'm single and it's just me and Cosmo. He has been a real reason I've been able to stay so positive. I've also had my first vaccine shot and the 2nd one is scheduled for early May. That's making me feel a lot more positive about where I am, personally. I do miss seeing my Dad. He's 86 and I haven't seen him in over a year. Hoping to see him for Father's Day.

I’m depressed about having to go back into the office later this month..

As for returning to offices, our department took a poll earlier about how we may be permanently changing work/life schedule. Nothing is determined (widely for the whole organization) but there may be a change toward nearly everyone able to divide work between office and home.

This might be a real boon especially for those with kids, appointments, etc...

Well too bad DL is such a disorganized hot mess. We MUST have a section to support those struggling with job loss, depression and drinking and loneliness. These are issues that are rife among gay men now but nobody really talks about it. We were already vulnerable due to homophobia and discrimination and affected. Anyone who is a gay man and says he wasn't is full of it. On top of this, the pandemic. We need to support each other but there don't seem to be resources.

I find that either blocking out the news or watching it sparingly has helped me a lot.

R148 Being measured when taking in information definitely helps. In fact, unplugging not just from the news but from social media and vapid entertainment helps tremendously. People don’t realize how damaging tuning into the news everyday can be; the same goes for being constantly plugged into social media and entertainment. On the one hand, you have doom and gloom, and on the other, you have constant reminders of levels of perfection that are totally unrealistic, based on illusion, and unattainable, even by those promoting said perfection.

Substances never help with and can even exacerbate depression. You have to face yourself in the raw, under the cold, harsh fluorescent light of reality; that’s where the change begins. Recognizing and accepting who you are, what your flaws and strengths are, and deciding what about yourself you want to improve or change completely.

The problem is that we live in a society that promotes unrealistic perfection and encourages covering up anything that can be deemed a flaw or as weakness. Furthermore, assessing oneself with brutal honest and sobriety is painful work, necessary as it may be, and we all are guilty of wanting to avoid pain, even if it’s the kind of pain requisite to our growth.

Is Cosmo a cat or dog?

I feel like lately I just want to end it. The accumulation of Covid, health issues and death in my family. Holding on.

I have not smoked weed in probably 13 years. Mainly because I used to get periodically drug tested by my job. Now that I am unemployed I really want to smoke! Just for relaxation and maybe a little pain relief. I have a nice pot dispensary just two blocks away! But I’m concerned that if and when I find a new job is that the first thing they’re going to do is ask for a urine test! What should I do DL peeps? Should I smoke up or no?

R135 People die all the time. So what? Life should go on.

I'm kind of the opposite. The pandemic allowed for a huge reset and I've been very happy with the quieter, calmer pace of life. This past year, life was less complicated. These days when I go out, I find myself getting more and more annoyed with people, now that things are getting active again. I forgot how irritating the general public can be - the selfish assholes who think the world revolves around them, the Karens and basic bitch fraus, the crying and shrieking children in shops, the anti-mask Deplorables, the tacky and trashy masses. I've been away from all these people for a year and now I'm seeing them again when I go out. That's what I'm finding depressing.

I've missed going to the theater and opera, and to movies and concerts, and out to dinner with friends, but other than that, I've been very happy at home. But then again, I haven't been alone; I have my husband, and my best friend also lives with us (renting our basement apartment) so it's been great to be home just relaxing and taking a breather from this crazy world with my two favorite people. I also live in Colorado which is a beautiful place to live, so that helps.

R154 Oh, so basically you're just fine and you're enjoying your relaxing time, with a secure income and a nice place to live. To hell with everyone else, those 'trashy and tacky masses' who have the poor taste to want to live their lives.

R144, do you actually think that everyone STOPPED getting GROCERIES?

What a bizarre post.

R155, you need to stop projecting. That's not what R154 (and other's you've trashed) said at all.

R157 What R154 said was actually even worse than how I described it. The selfishness of the Covid obsessives and lockdown-lovers is breathtaking.

No

I was depressed b4 it

R152 If you’re enduring physical pain and/or depression, I say give it a go; it beats pills and alcohol. You can always take a break when the need to arises or use synthetic urine (e.g., iPee), which is sold at most head shops, for most drug tests (yes, it works; I’ve used it successfully for various tests in the past).

The numbers posted above relating to percentages of deaths based on populations (7.8 billion vs 2.9 million deaths), should not be the metric for ignoring the guidelines. The actual death rate should be based on the number of people infected and the number of people who died. Latest world stats-134 million COVID cases reported. 2.9 million deaths reported. You cannot die from an illness you did not contract. Following the guidelines has reduced the transmission of the disease which lowers the death rate.

I'm afraid to have a gun in my home because I think I'd use it on myself.

Don’t say that, R162, not even in jest.

I hit the jackpot today with my doctor got Xanax AND Zoloft!

She seemed genuinely (not concerned) but interested because I was talking of gut - mind symptoms and one of her close family members had the same problem.

I also correctly asked for an SSRI and I know that doctors shouldn't encourage patient self-diagnosing (in fact some are downright hostile to a patient doing their own legwork) but I think she appreciated that I was ahead of her.

[quote]I was talking of gut - mind symptoms

Can you elaborate?

R161, While I agree that the standard measures taken have reduced transmission of the disease, how do we know how many were in close proximity to the virus without those precautions, yet didn't get sick?

R165 Sure, the vicious cycle of anxiety/depression and colitis type flare ups, GERD, etc. The role of serotonin in gastric acid production etc.

R167 - thank for that. I am having a horrid colitis flare-up and am feeling listless and just about anything feels like a huge chore. I am not really 100% depressed but even getting out the door is hard. It's the combo of the pandemic and this past year. I have started exercising again but just getting out of bed is hard due to constant exhaustion. An ENT here recommended a change in diet and an ant-acid regimen but it seems a few glasses of wine are my only joy these days. So uncharacteristic of me. I wonder if anyone else feels that these days.

R168, get yourself on PREbiotics, not probiotics and you may actually recover completely from your colitis, and your supposed need for antacids. I'd also stop the wine. That's the easiest way to deplete your good bacteria, AND cause extra inflammation due to the histamine content.

[quote]Is anyone else depressed by the pandemic?

I’ve always been depressed no matter what, so no difference for me.🤷🏻‍♂️

I was walking around yesterday in the old city center and suddenly my roommate burst into tears (she is normally the ONLY upbeat thing around me these days). I asked what the hell and she said suddenly that she couldn't take it anymore...the fear of COVID, the assholes who disrespect measures and the Repukes back home, the fact that we have to (probably) forever wear masks. Said that since she has gained 10 lbs and eschews salons (hairstylists here always have masks under their noses) women at work are bullying her. Before the pandemic, she was already an "outsider" because the frau were asking why she had no husband and kids but, hey, she was beautiful and slim and moneyed. Now, that is gone and her dad is very sick and she just lost it. I told her to take it easy, some of my exes lost jobs, but that only depressed her more because lots of her friends did also.

I can't imagine the pressure on younger people and women. Very sad. Our community is also being impacted. Lots of days I just wanna stay in bed. One day I am ok, other days it's a struggle to get out of bed.

Aww r171, your friend sounds she needs to continue to hide under the bed.

R152, hit it if you can get it. I'd kill for some right now, but I live in a state where it's still illegal and I have no contacts in the town I just moved to.

I started back on my ADHD meds two weeks ago, had been off them for almost two years. It's part of my "improvement plan" with my therapist. So far it's ok, but since I'm also crawling out of a severe year-long depression, I have to be careful; amphetamines can increase symptoms of depression, so I'm doing a lot of self-talk. "Am I feeling this way because of the meds? Is this thought valid?" Exhausting at times, but I gotta put in that work.

R172 - she refuses to do so. She says "I want to enjoy the moments of my life" (yeah, running theme now since 2017 about "moments of my life) so it's N95 masks and visors but that she says is "for the benefit of humanity because I feel erased so I wear it to not infect others...just in case." Also, I hear all the time "lost my indenty". I can kind of see how in a way, I feel the same to a degree but then, so do a lot of people right now. It's situational depression.

R171, is she a lesbian?

[quote] Said that since she has gained 10 lbs and eschews salons (hairstylists here always have masks under their noses) women at work are bullying her. Before the pandemic, she was already an "outsider" because the frau were asking why she had no husband and kids but, hey, she was beautiful and slim and moneyed. Now, that is gone

Because she gained 10 pounds and needs a haircut? Ridiculous. There's got to be a salon somewhere in your community that observes proper covid protocol or a friend who could give her a reasonably decent haircut; losing 10 pounds shouldn't be that tough, either (and how much difference could 10 pounds have made in the first place?).

I have entire days where I don't leave the house. I just got my second shot and for some reason, it didn't bring the sense of freedom I thought it would. I've totally had it with this shit. I look and feel like crap, there are no highs or lows, I don't remember the last time I really, truly had fun. We're not meant to live like this. If you told me this was it for the rest of my years, I'd off myself.

This thread should be titled MARY!

You bitches are cowards.

R95 I get a feeling from reading your post that you are going to be just fine and better days are close. Thank you for posting. Your positivity was a bit contagious tonight. After a pretty emotional night trying to be a good brother, I needed to read it. Best wishes to you

R154

Unless you have ten million dollars in your retirement portfolio then your lifestyle is going to take a dramatic turn for the worse.

$200,000/yr in pensions and annuities is great - well, unless the cost of gas goes to $10 a gallon, food prices triple, and starving gangs terrorize your neighborhood looking for food.

Why do you think that real estate prices in suburbs are exploding?

R166

[quote] While I agree that the standard measures taken have reduced transmission of the disease...

Link? There is no evidence that NPI has had any impact on transmission.

R171

She meets the stereotypical definition of hysterical. Unless she 80 years old, 50 pounds overweight, with asthma, diabetes, and heart disease, she has a one in 3200 chance of dying.

MARY!

R171 Your friend sounds like she needs a good slap. I am speaking metaphorically, of course. Or perhaps not. Such a martyr complex! 'I wear the mask not for myself, but for the good of all mankind.' Yeah right, shut up - SLAP!

R182 and R183 - it comes from spending too much time in her head. Before the pandemic she went out a lot, had a big life and she was pretty cool...lobbied for gay civil partnerships to be respected in Romania. Now it's been over a year of no social life, no gym, and writing and reading all day along with seeing people all over not respecting masking and reading about Trump, the pandemic. Amazing how in one year you can go from fearless and cool to afraid and hysterical. I went from pretty happy to pretty depressed.

I wonder if we will be the same when (and if) things go back to some level of normal.

My depression keeps getting worse as spring progresses

I had four acid reflux attacks last year and since then I'm having balance issues and a lot of trouble driving. Then I remember that even if I wasn't having trouble driving, there's no where I can go. I was ok last year, but this year the life ling depression I've been able to handle is becoming increasingly difficult to handle.

Every single one of these could be written by Roxanne Gay.

Not too much just horny and bored. I don’t like people but I do get stir crazy

I'm actually aroused by it!