Words on a Grindr profile

Speaking of words - do you speak English OP?

Back acne?

You message hi and then thier first message is they want a picture of your penis. Or they send you their first picture of their dick and not their face. Man, does your mother know you do this?

Those that wrote a passage about searching for love, or something that resembles a poem

You swerve?

Masc for masc and the bitch is wearing eyeliner.

SWERVE! SWERVE!

Fart Fetish

Deleting this soon.

There's a guy I see on Scruff in my neighborhood with "Today's my birthday!" in his profile. It's been like that for over a year and he's on every time I am.

R1 In the loosest possible way.

That's very clear R11. Probably the same level of looseness as your flapping hole right?

Posters like r3 that go on a Sex site and then act shocked when people are looking for sex.

Don’t understand why so many gays on Grindr act like they’re looking for love on a Sex site. Makes them seem like idiots. Like the types that would look for a modern liberal man... at Hooters.

guys that don't list their limits and interests.

then there's the faghags, transvestites, pnp crowd, the jailbait, the political & social darrens, the fangurls, the 'virgins' looking for a gangbang, the obsessive fetishists that sound as if they want to wear your skin, the fantasy kweens, the obnoxious twinks pushing 40, the bitter eldergays, the newfags, the ... there's really quite a lot which depends on how much or little of an effort I desire to make.

I might entertain the obvious catfishes that still maintain their social justice dox boards... those can be fun. though I'd switch to my herve villechaize account.

bored

R12 How very dare you!

My hole doesn't flap. It just gapes.

Are humourous comments a turn or off?

I'm sure it flutters in the wind just a little bit though doesn't it R16?

R18 Not since I had the drawstrings fitted.

I despise Grindr, but in general, I hate Profiles that have words such as “host,” Prep,” “freak,” or “leather.”

LOL R19. You're a good sport.

Guys who list their Myers-Briggs personality type on Grindr. I always wonder what that has to do with scoring a random lay. I suppose it’s a conversation starting like astrology was in the 1970s.

Profile headings with "hot", "stud", "jock", inches - prob will be spending disproportionate time satisfying him (if you're into that)

Morons who use the word "swerve."

i'm a lawyer/doctor/doing my masters/phd...etc..etc, i don't care, i just want to fuck

“Don’t message me without a CLEAR and CURRENT face pic!”

Meanwhile the cunt’s profile is blank, and when you asked them for a face pic, they send you a pic of a torso that’s most likely from somebody else.

ParTy 🎈 hoes.

Let’s get our freak on types.

My friend has on his Scruff: "I love ice cream!" THREE times mind you. I'm thinking you're a 38 year old man and you act like you're a freakin teenager.

Top here while all photos are of his ass.

Do you have more pictures while his profile his blank and you have 3 of your face.

Unsolicited cock or open ass pictures (even if looking for sex, ii personally prefer to see it in person )

Please be masculine

Guys wanting bareback sex. I’m a 90’s baby and in prep but I’m still not going to go bare with a stranger. Did we learn nothing from aids?

R21 We should fuck! 😜

Oh, and over thirty guys who have the word boy on his nick or profile.

“ No set agenda“ - WTF? Is this a business meeting?

“Come correct” - Big with the Latinos. Fuck your correctness. This isn’t in a marriage proposal. I just want to play with your dick.

“No older than 37” - How disturbingly specific. Like 38, 39, or 40 makes that much of a difference? Stay away from this one. They’re obviously tedious and exhausting.

Old ass trolls that can’t accept “no”. Like yeah, shoot your shot but don’t get angry when I’m kind enough to respond by saying they aren’t my type. They keep pushing. Who are these men that give into their creepy attempts at pressuring guys? Then they offer their mouth for an “amazing” blowjob where they can “service” me. Getting a bj is easy, I don’t need to ask someone as old as my grandfather for help.

You’re older and obviously desperate. Use your cash and get a hooker or just stop acting so thirsty. Some other older gentleman have been absolutely lovely and charmed me out of my pants by being chill, interesting, and mature.

R32 The no set agenda one makes me chuckle too.

The Come correct one makes me instantly think of douching, do is an instant turnoff.

“Have a face.” What do they think, that slenderman is out there on Grindr stalking them? Blocked.

The headless torsos but especially the blank profiles are often the best finds. Most will not be hot but a lot of closet or private hotties roll up with those discrete profiles. I always give them a chance to present a face picture. But they get annoying when they ask for a return photos since I have three up on mine and they had nothing. A poster above mentioned this very issues.

Don’t know Grindr, but in Scruff under the heading “status”, the guy writes “Let’s Discuss”. Ummmmm, there’s not much to discuss. Positive or negative.

Any mention of a husband/partner who they purport to be "the greatest guy in the world" and with whom they're "deeply in love".

Polyamorous

Verse [sic]

Longer the profile, the less I’m interested, particularly when a guy includes his whole philosophy of life.

Or “Read my full profile before responding!”

Thanks for all the woofs! Can't keep up with my messages so sorry if I don't get back to you.

Written bio sections that extend beyond a quick list of the basic likes/dislikes. It's an indication of the author's narcissism or cluelessness (or both) if he thinks people actually read past the first 100 words.

Asian

I do find the 'no taps' and 'Ill get back to you message when I'm not too busy' types off-putting.

Taps are stupid though. Say hello or Kermit loving. It’s Grindr not the club. Man up and say something.

Well some people are shy. A tap is just the digital equivalent of a flirtatious look at a bar.

The recipient can either wink back or turn his back. I don't see why some people have to be so precious over a tap.

I'd never fuck one of them but I love reading the long diatribes about their personal philosophies and the many ways the gay community NEED to act. They are telling you NOW so they don't have to tell you THEN!

I also love being congratulated for reading to the end and "getting this far so I should probably message them". Sometimes I am offered a cookie but it never materializes.

I sort of miss the people that stated their preferences. It was harsh but made things so much easier. Now Grindr frowns upon the obvious.

What is 'The obvious'?

Any words with a capital T. Any mentions of ice cream or flat out saying PnP. Snowflake and ice cream emojis included. Stay far away from those people.

at least in Palm Springs , a few guys have been polite enough to announce that they are meth heads.

I'm surprised that retirees are doing that shit still!

The word "Hit Me Up" . Translated into English, this means "I'm not making any effort, you contact me."

The term "Soulmate". Translated into English, this means "I don't know what I'm looking for, but I'm happy to waste your time talking about myself"

Love the second one

R51 if that was for me, i think these were younger guys from "down valley" , like Indio or Thermal

I don't respond to hey, hi, or what's up. You need to be more original than that to get my attention because I am EXHAUSTING.

I love you, R55.

R40, I don’t get those people. They leave these apps on all the time despite not actually looking at them for a long time

“.......... to the front of the line”

“Don’t be......” and then an exhaustively judgmental list.

“Sane and sorted here”

What does sane and sorted even mean!

He's saying that we've got to be grateful he's not an axe murderer?

Oh, and those with links to their closed instagram accounts.

"I know I'm a sloppy bottom pig."

“Alpha male”, which generally translates to selfish arrogant prick.

“No taps”. I just don’t understand the offense. And those who say it’s lazy...what the fuck do you expect beyond “hi” or “sexy”, when I don’t know you at all? What’s is original about those words?

Pics sent of gaping holes. I love a hot ass but I don’t need to see right into your Holland Tunnel.

“Not on here much; dm me on IG.” Equals lame attempt to increase their IG follower count.

Prefer wild to mild = have you ever seen how they impregnate a cow? Shoulder deep.

😂😂😂

Anything TRANS. Either trans seekers or an actual tranny. Instantly Blocked into oblivion.

I don't respond to "Top or Bottom?" If that's all you think of sex, move on.

"What are you into" also annoys me especially because it never follows what THEY are into.

Just looking at someone's profile and getting a "what are you looking for" msg.

Thirrrrrrrrsty.

Any variation of "I keep it 100".....or "come correct"

68 replies and I can tell that these posters don’t have attractive pictures and don’t understand young people

⛔ ANYTHING WRITTEN IN BLOCK CAPS ⛔

ANytHinG wRItTeN lIKe THiS.

you can tell r70 gets no action.

R72 Bizarrely, I do.

I'm noticing lots of guys are now adding "Fully Vaccinated" to their profiles.

I come to Grindr for the intellectual debates.

"Check out my Insta"

"Accepts NSFW pics?" "No."

I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned “seeking gen only” and its variants.

I’ll also ignore messages from anyone with profiles misusing your/you’re, its/it’s, etc. I know that may seem petty if it’s only for a hookup, but I have little patience for men so stupid and/or so lazy that it looks like their profiles were written by kindergartners.

Diatribes about things wrong with Grindr users or men in general. This is your space to convince me why I should be interested in you, and a list of pet peeves isn't going to do it.

"Seeking 18-25, NO OLD MEN" or some variation from someone in their 50s.

"Can't host" from someone whose profile says they're single and past the age they should be living in a college dorm.

[quote] I don't respond to "Top or Bottom?" If that's all you think of sex, move on.

Strangely, I’ve never been asked this. If Helen Keller were still alive, she could probably tell that I’m a bottom.

“Be clean” is really offensive in every possible way.

[quote]I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned “seeking gen only” and its variants.

I don't see too much of that because I think I screen out the profiles likely to feature it on other criteria,. but I hate when someone contacts me all hot and heavy and then just asks "gen?" out of nowhere. Beyond rude.

Whores are gonna whore r82

They’re desperate to pay their rent or they owe their meth dealers

"I'm stationed in Afghanistan."

[quote] I don't respond to "Top or Bottom?" If that's all you think of sex, move on.

Psst. You do know why most of us are on the app, right?

Any profile that makes me say sarcastically to myself, “Well, you seem nice.”

R85 Speak for yourself, dearie.

R87, if you’re looking for love on Grindr, you’re looking in all the wrong places.

R85, the point was not anti-sex, it was anti-binary roles for sex between men. Not everyone self-sorts into "top or bottom."

What is hard to understand about that?

Sorry, r89. Now I get it.

I can’t even blame it on Monday since this happened earlier.

Boy, commas really can make all the difference.

Humblest apologies.

"Party?"

Oh yay. Needles, battery acid, and lost hope. Make my night.

Usually my profile indicates I’m looking for something pretty vanilla like making out, trading massages, trading oral, etc. Nothing crazy.

Sure enough, some guy will message saying his hole is lubed up and ready for his fifth anon load of the day, no questions asked, if I want to swing by his hotel room. What exactly about my profile made you think that was what I’m looking for?

"VGL" -- unless your mom wrote your Grindr copy.

Also, dudes with no words. Blank profile? Not responding to your tap.

[quote]You message hi and then thier first message is they want a picture of your penis. Or they send you their first picture of their dick and not their face. Man, does your mother know you do this?

Yeah iut's a fucking SEX app! When they did the "Kindr Grindr" campaign or whatever it was, the video had trannies saying "he asked what genitals I have? Can you believe it????" in disbelief. Like how rude???

PS this is a fucking sex app; what genitals you have is pretty relevant.

PPS Why trannies and guys who say "no men" are on a M4M sex app makes no sense.

It's a sex app, but I don't do gloryholes either. Say "hi" first at least.

[quote]It's a sex app, but I don't do gloryholes either. Say "hi" first at least.

Saying hi is fine. who doesn't? But asking top/bottom or if you, you know, actually have a penis on a m4m sex site, seems pretty relevant.

R92, don't forget the fisting lovers, the poppers afficionados, the piss queens, and the foot worshippers. Also the ones looking for NOW, why are you on NOW and glancing at my profile NOW if you aren't going to drop everything NOW and come do/have done (insert random fetish here) to me/you NOW?? Because by swiping past someone's profile and showing up in their viewed list, despite everything in my profile clearly I really want to get pissed on/fisted/someone's foot in my mouth on a random Tuesday afternoon.

Meanwhile my profile mentions low key vanilla fun and "lets chat first before meeting right away." People are CRAZY.

I have a penis and the whole top/bottom dichotomy is so limiting and dated to me.

[quote]I have a penis and the whole top/bottom dichotomy is so limiting and dated to me.

Those were two concepts:

1. asking top or bottom (ps you are free to say "vers" or I'm not into anal) but let's not pretend that oral and anal sex are not the most commonly thought of gay sex acts.

2. Trannies complaining that potential sex partners on Grindr want to know if they have a penis or not is rude is ludicrous. (not to mention if we are to believe that "transwomen are women" as GLAAD and HRC tell us, they should not be on a m4m sex app to begin with.

[quote]Words on a Grindr profile

There are words on a Grindr profile?

Any reference, either written or pictured, of a rim seat

R99, who was talking about having a penis or "trannies?": Troll much??

Top and bottom is limiting. it doesn't apply to many. I WILL swipe past anyone who frames sex. along those strict terms because, as in your case, it usually belies deeper problems.

Your high handed preaching is hilarious and also kinda sad r102

No response is a response.

[quote][R99], who was talking about having a penis or "trannies?": Troll much??

If you actually read just a few comments upthread, you'd see i was referring to the "Kindr Grindr" ad campaign where a tranny was whining that someone asked which genitals he/she had.

Exactly what you said OP

You didn't need to be all that insightful to figure out that guys with a lengthy list of Dos and Don'ts and what they were looking for were going to be the same way once you got them in bed, giving new meaning to the term "Bossy Bottom"

Some from experience, I ignore/don't engage with: cloudscapes, verbiage variation on "long session", dominant, load(s), couple/2 of us, picky/selective, and 🐷

Self-described "nice guy" or "man of integrity" = total lack of self-awareness

Or worse, R108, he was going to want to talk or meet for coffee or some shit when all you wanted was someone to come over and blow you.

R12, oh, you GOT him!

he walked right into that one!

or backed into it with his flabby butt cheeks and gaping hole!

YOU GOT HIM!

The biggest turn-offs for me are:

1. Go away.

2. I'm blocking you.

3. We chatted last week. I turned you down. Why are you back?

4. Please stop calling my work.

R92, I got one of those last night. I think it's indicative of someone who just sent a message without bothering to read your profile or, worse, he read it but sent the message anyway because in his mind it's all about him and what he wants, not what you want.

I won't massage a guy if he says he has a sweaty back. ick.

I am not into guys with the fist emoji. 👊

Hate the trite “I’m as comfortable in sweats playing football as I am in a tux at the opera” or it’s variations.

^^though that is more common on Scruff since Grindr limits its character count.

[quote] or it’s variations.

Oh, dear!

"I like going out and staying in"

Great! What a well rounded individual you are.

"Must be discreet"

Oh damn, I was planning to on calling all your friends as soon as you left because the whole world cares about your liking for cock.

"Open minded"

= scat / incest / bestiality

[quote] "I like going out and staying in"

[quote]Great! What a well rounded individual you are.

It’s like when they say “fun-loving.”

When I hear someone described as fun-loving, I have to meet them. What a fascinating individual this person who loves fun. Amazing really.

R120 see also: "I love to laugh"

Imagine trying to fuck someone and all they do is laugh. Kind of kills the moment.

[quote]"Must be discreet"

You're giving them too much credit. I usually see "Must be discrete"

I’m very dominate.

“Just checking things out. Not really into hook ups, but say something that may change my mind. Be real, I know I am.”

Go fuck yourself. That’s all.... Just go fuck your obnoxious and tedious self.

And then you all wonder why you are still alone.

At some point I'm sure I'd seen most of these lines or a variation thereof, and, aside from the guys with long lists of acceptable and unacceptable characteristics mentioned at OP, thought "yeah, I might not have written that, but not the end of the world if he's cute."

Headline on local guy’s profile page that I’ve been seeing forever: (Hasn’t changed his pics in 10 years)

“EAT MY ASS” 🍑 👅

Hot intro, but unfortunately the guy looks like Steve Bannon. Not kidding. You have to give this guy credit for putting himself out there, but heaven forbid, never give him your tongue.

"Fatfinity"

“Male to Female Only - NO MEN”

Uhh, sweet cheeks, that M-F you’re looking for IS a man. What you really looking for is just a guy wearing a dress and a pair of fishnets.

"100% Passive" just means more work for me. Avoid.

Progress, Anonymous, Married, parTy, Raw, Sports, Generous, Touch, Tatted, Dog Dad, Gym, Drag, Trucker, Twink, Bear. Those are what comes to mind at least. I’m sure you all can make up an exact profile in your imagination using any of these.

“TOTAL TOP”

In reality, most of you are lying. I’ve been disappointed way too many times watching these “total tops” jack up their asses and legs in the air faster than a seasoned Broadway dancer.

The ones with no face pic in profile.

But yet has the balls to state: “DON’T MESSAGE ME WITHOUT A FACE PIC!”

So what’s the deal here mystery man? You can cruise us and make face pic demands, but we can’t cruise you because we can’t FUCKING SEE YOU! Seems one-sided to me. Next!

R132 Those make me laugh too!

A personal turn off for me is 'Open Door'

I mean their basically a slut that's begging to be burgled right?

“TAKING LOADS”

Uggh. Close your thirsty, skanky hole. (That is of course if it can still close)

There are words on a Grindr profile?!

"Does anybody read this LOL?"

"I don't bite....unless asked!!!"

That might have been vaguely amusing 25 years ago...

JUST HI = DELETE

non-GMO

What does the diamond symbol mean in someone's profile? Genuine question, I don't know.

Two schools of thought on that.

One is it means the person is looking for someone gen, a sugar daddy, or whatever way you want to describe a whore.

The other is they’re looking for crystal, i.e., meth.

The profiles are typically fine, it is the inane conversation that makes me block a guy.

Hey,

How are you

What's up?

So, are you lookin?

Dudes, I am on fucking grinder I want to bury my dick in your ass or your mouth. Get to the fucking point.

Exactly r143, there are obvious non-starters for me (e.g., drugs, married/open, DL/discreet), but there's so much game playing & non-commitment in gay metros, it's an affliction of choice paradox in "dating" apps