Let’s Be Mark Consuelos’s 50th Birthday Party

So you mean his 49th birthday, OP?

Typo! He was born 50 years ago today so 1971. Sorry, cunts!

I’m 39!

Dumb fuck OP.

I'm the saliva caught in his foreskin from every guest giving him a birthday blow.

Is he on one of those morning shows that if you're a grown man it's absolutely pathetic to be watching?

I'm all the women who were not invited.

ugh David Muir’s insta to Mark was gay.

Andy Cohen & Anderson are on vacay.

Wonder if it’s secretly Mark’s 50th Birthday celebration.

Kelly would do that, she tried to convince the world during lockdown she was in her basement, while she was really in a hotel in the Caribbean.

I’ll be the big pink bow wrapped around Andy Cohen’s cock.

I'm the stripper. I'm also the birthday boy.

R11 for the win 😂😂😂

And that Bruce Bozzi character is there too.

It’s a gay cruise!

R3 = Catherine Zeta-Jones

Andy is back with a wonky tan.

Group sex on that boat?

I'm his shoe lifts, covered in cum stains of various tricks and also Kelly's vomit.

I've always liked older men.

But not that much older! Unless he's loaded and likes to nibble on my cute little deathtrap!

Are Kelly & CZJ friends?

Is Mark a top or bottom to Andy Cohen/Kelly Ripa?

I’m Kelly’s smirk as Michael introduces his “good friend” Eric to his parents.

I’m Bruce Bozzi, and I’m getting increasingly terrified that my plastic surgeon was wrong when he said my recent face lift would be healed by the time of this epic event!