Classic DL Thread: Sows at the trough

My God, that's 15 years old now.

Good lord that's a flashback 😮

I'm not even to r150 in that classic thread and have already encountered the terms "heifertiti," "office sow," and "hippoletta," as well as the pronouncement "This is a place of business, not a short order kitchen."

Thoooose were the daaaayyysssss

A classic!

That was a great time to be on the DL. I think 2006 was also when African Baby Catalogue was spawned.

I remember sharing my own experience in one of those threads.

We had an office of about 35-40 people. They brought 20 pizzas.

The sows led a stampede into the break room. One just picked up an entire box and ran to her desk with it. By the time I got there, there was nothing left but crumbs. I never participated in pizza anything after that.

If God forbid I ever had to temporarily move in with or stay at my mother's, I'd install padlocks on the fridge and all of the cabinets.

R7 I just pissed myself. Thanks for the laughter 😄

R9 my team laughed about it after a while too. We actually yelled "stampede!" once and I'm surprised we didn't get in trouble.

I used to put my hand to my ear and say "Hark! I hear hooves!" when the inevitable rush would happen.

[quote]“I once witnessed a coworker cut off a piece of community chocolate cake with her car key, before licking the key clean and putting it right back in her pocket.”

Hysterical and still makes me laugh. But it is so universal.

Even before I came to the DL I remember a few coworkers who were like the "sows" described. One in particular got away with murder. She couldn't possibly work more than an hour or so a day.

She ate breakfast at her desk, answered her emails for about 15 minutes and then the rest of the next 4-5 hours was all about lunch: walking around, asking everyone what they were going to get for lunch, then ordering lunch, then eating it, then walking around to ask everyone what did they have and oooh it looks good and oooh how does it taste and so on.

After that exhausting tour it was break time. Then time for a coffee and her 3:30 feeding.

And that heifer left at 4:26 to catch her 4:32 bus, never actually staying until 4:30.

I used the "bucket of cinnamon bagels with blueberry cream cheese" meme in a "Let's Be" thread, probably an HR spoof!

"It's Pizza Friday!!"

(((shudders)))

I wonder how the sows are adjusting to working at home.

R15 They're Zooming each other and watching each other eat.

[quote] The stampede was as though someone had thrown handfulls of rupees to the street urchins of Bangladesh.

I literally just peed myself a little from laughing so hard.

"Heifertiti" needs to be revived.

I give the sow trough a wide berth unless I am OBLIGED to show my face.

Ugh. Yes R19 I know that feeling.

Sometimes we have a Command Performance for upper muckity mucks or some visitor.

One of the best phrases from that thread: "She's about 5'5" and 270 lbs. of pure Crisco."

Oh man, that original thread is hysterical. I laughed so hard at heifertiti and hippoleta that I had to put my phone down for a bit. The thread brought back memories of office sows I worked with a decade ago. A bunch of nasty, white frauen, each of them fatter than the other. Watching them stampede into the kitchen at work was scary.

Sorry but how is this diff from bumping?

R23 This truly was one of THE classic threads from DL's heyday.

Versus a bump troll that just randomly bumps old shit with inane, unimportant comments.

I an DELIGHTED to see this thread revived once again, as (believe it or not) I am the OP!! The workplace I described was a branch office of a large insurance company whose name still makes my blood pressure jump 30 points. During my tenure there I discovered DL, and was thankful for the high cubicle walls we had so that no one could see me convulsed in silent laughter. DL saved my ass on many a long and boring afternoon.

We did have a small but hideous HR department which reared its ugly viperous head at every opportunity; one of our adjusters, a very nice guy, had a baby born with very serious cardiac issues, and we were not allowed to mount a collection for him and his wife, which had already gotten underway, lest people feel "pressured" to donate (nearly everyone had at that point). The HR manager was (literally) a dwarf, who compensated for her disability by sneaking around the aisles in the afternoon, hoping to catch someone violating some ridiculous infraction, such as excessive cubicle decoration. (the little bitch never caught me reading DL, though!)

With respect to food in the office, though, there was a culture which I believe now is probably gone forever. We had a LOT of vendors that came through the office, especially during the holidays, but it was common practice for them to bring in catered meals for lunch meetings - not only big trays of stuffed deli sandwiches, but often large pans of pasta dishes, salad, etc. for the 15 or 20 people who would be in the meeting. The lower level sows were excluded from these, and the smoke that simmered from their eyes hung like a haze in the whole place. It was after these meetings that they would jostle for the privilege of "cleaning up", just to see what, if anything, was left over. Their disappointment was palpable when they discovered things like individually boxed lunches, with no leftovers to be had.

But as I described in that thread (which I can hardly believe is FIFTEEN years old!!) they really outdid themselves during the holidays!! I remember the pitched battles over the Harry and David towers, the secreting of cookies and brownies into purses and bags, the knock down drag outs over who got the poinsettias or mini Norfolk pines to take home (the HR dwarf finally decreed NO ONE, so we'd return from the holidays to find them all dead or dying!!) Maybe these things continue in workplaces today, although I'm sure covid has probably struck a death blow, plus even before I retired they put the kibosh on giving out things like pens, pads of paper, little novelties like key chains and tiny flashlights, because these were fought over as well. Complete with tears!

I have started and participated in many threads since those days, but I have to express my PROFOUND gratitude for DL's existence during that time-it was a golden era for DL as well. And having already laughed OUT LOUD at some the phrases quoted above, I have to say how proud and grateful I am to those of you who love it so much, and that my little bitch called SOWS AT THE TROUGH has taken its place in DL's pantheon of all stars!! LOVE LOVE LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!

I love you, R25!

I want a t-shirt with Hippoleta and/or Heifertini on it.

We can still see 'sows at the trough', now they are hobbling down the streets in masks and the others are maskless MAGA 'Karens' arguing with people in stores, on the street and harassing anyone they can.

Kisses to you, r25!

I guess I’m alone in not thinking desperate worker bees who want to enliven their days with miserable food is funny.

R30 This was discussed in the original thread and beaten so far into the ground it almost reached the earth's core.

NO ONE was making fun of having a little fun at work, or food insecurity, or being nosey about other people's food intake out of any smallness.

Enlivening a boring day with a nice lunch is great. But some people are incredibly selfish and abuse that generosity, and that thread dragged the shit out of them, deservedly.