A wealthy lifestyle. Have you've ever been exposed to it?

When I was younger I had some friends who were ver affluent and invited me tojoin them on vacation in Mustique. The master bedroom had a swimming pool in it.

We've been "exposed" to a lot of things but wealth was never one of them.

When I was a preteen and young teenager my dad’s boss had a mansion with Olympic sized pool, a yacht, sports cars. He was remarried with no children living with him and he really liked our family. Nobody used their pool so me and my brothers went over there on summer days to swim, they had a pool house stocked with food and beverages and we had the place to ourselves.

He let my dad take us out on the yacht and he let us use his motor home to go camping. My older brother got to test out his sports car and when my brother moved out they gave him some of their expensive furniture.

He had kids from his first marriage who came to visit 2 weeks in the summer. They were socially awkward and my dad’s boss gave us a wad of cash to spend going out with them to the movies, arcade, pizza place.

Then all of a sudden he left for California, there was some kind of money trouble at the company and he was out. My dad got a new boss and then my dad ended up opening up his own company.

I don’t know what kind of shenanigans his boss pulled, back then in the early 80’s my parents didn’t discuss things like that in front of us. I thought he was a fun, nice guy from my kid’s point of view.

I just remember their house was all white and I said to my mom “you can tell no kids live here”. His 2nd wife didn’t like the sun so she didn’t like the pool or yacht, I never saw her eat except for Tabs and cigarettes. But she was nice to our family, she wasn’t a snob even though they lived well beyond our middle class means. We were polite kids though.

What do you want to know, OP? My quick answer is you have more options when money isn't a limiting factor when making decisions.

[Quote]Nobody used their pool so me and my brothers

Oh, dear

Hey r5 I told you I was just the poor company ;)

I have friends who own a 115-foot motor yacht. They don’t let others charter it; when they aren’t using it, it sits idle (with a captain on board). More staff than guests when it’s being used.

So my husband and I have been on two separate trips with the owners in the past two years: one to Nantucket and other eastern ports, the other to Victoria, BC, and the San Juan Islands. Each for 10 days. We enjoyed hanging out with them and being waited on hand and foot.

I know all about it, OP. What do you want to know or hear?

my ex-boyfriend of 6 years was relatively wealthy (well, the wealthiest person i'd ever met - he made about 400k a year with salary and bonuses, plus perks). We lived together and i'd never been with someone who i could say "we should go to Vermont to see the leaves, i've never been before" or "how about if we visit France and Italy" and we would do that. I loved that this guy was so adventurous and up for anything (within reason).

We are still in touch and have a bit of an emotional love affair despite his life with a new spouse and kid. He actively reaches out often and we have met up a couple times (on his dime, we live 6 hours away from each other) and he calls me once a week. Besides his kid, he regrets his marriage. he built himself a pretty cage to live in.

I was friends with two straight couples who were successful enough to become wealthy while I knew them. (One couple were older and are both gone now, the other I still see occasionally, but I've moved away.)

Wealth didn't change them.

Moving from middle-class incomes to upper-class changed their lifestyles a bit, but by degrees. They moved from cramped houses to spacious ones (with grounds instead of yards), they ate out more often and traveled more often and could go to more expensive places when they wanted to, but they were still very much the same people and had the same close friends. That's the way to handle wealth, enjoy some luxuries but don't be an idiot about it.

Yes.

It’s amazing, but tiresome.

When I was in my 20’s I dated a Russian bisexual billionaire that became obsessed with me. He looked just like Val Kilmer in Top Gun and I met him when I was a bartender at a gay club. He took me out to Four Seasons on a group date, I wasn’t impressed (his friend was hotter). I remember he had a private zoo and would invite 40 people out and reserve half a restaurant during the week.

I met his ex girlfriend which I thought was creepy and he invited me to the front row of Prada at Fashion week and would’ve bought me the whole season if I wanted it. However, I was whoring around NYC at the time, wasn’t really attracted to him and wanted to be free to come and go, not especially stay with him.

I was most intrigued by the “reality distortion field” that exists around billionaires and what made him attractive. People bend to their will and he was able to unmoor a lot of expected, routine behavior and limitations we all endure. It really is rarified air they breathe and are offered things we could never dream of asking for. Yet there was a crowd of “hangers on” surrounding him, acting wealthy but I’m sure if you cornered and questioned all of them, the entire room was there just to spend his money and I thought that’s really a sad thing-

Not knowing if people liked you for you or for your money.

More than a few.

I dated one guy in my early 20s (he was in his early 40s) who was insanely wealthy. He was South African and his family had black diamond mines, a family jet, homes all over the world. He was a very handsome man - a sort of Cary Grant type - but was closeted. We had INSANE sex. Like he was desperate to connect with an actual human. It was the only time he was raw and real. Mind blowing. And he was so lovely and sweet to be with when it was just us in some bed and breakfast in Ojai or somewhere near LA where we'd driven spur of the moment. I couldn't stay at his place. His staff would see me and that just couldn't happen.

But even worse than the closeted thing? His strange life among the upper echelon made him hard to get along with. He was very childish at times. Totally petulant if he didn't get his way. But not in a yell-at-the-waiter sort of way. He was too charming for that. It was more insidious somehow. Like he'd plan someone demise if he could. And never get caught. Dramatic I know, but it's how I felt. Not gonna lie: It was a bit sexy.

And he'd often forget that I was just a bartender who was still in school, struggling to make rent. Still, he took me to London twice, Lisbon, his house on a remote Greek Isle, wherever we wanted really - when I was free to tag along. Sort of like we were in some F Scott Fitzgerald novel. That part of our relationship was amazing. But the rest of it got old. He was aimless. He would say he loved me, then disappear for two weeks for family business or whatever. I realized pretty quickly (well nearly 2 years) I would never be a partner, let alone a boyfriend. Not even close.

We're actually still friends. He just turned 60 - which is a fucking trip. He never met anyone to love. Still travels all around the world. Whenever we talk, it's as though it's still 20 years ago. We laugh and joke and he always says that he'll send a car over to me and we'll jet off to Iceland or Greece. But we hang up both knowing that won't happen. That we'll probably never see each other again.

Still, I like knowing he's alive. It's comforting.

i'm sorry 312. same here. we both are together in this. i had to build my life and have a bit of $ put together.

I grew up with friends who had housekeepers answering their house phone any time you called...I begged my mum for a housekeeper and of course it never happened. So the stage was set for my inferiority complex...hah!

I've dated an old money guy in Nashville, some new money guys in Atlanta, and lately some guys in Palm Springs with "more money than God," as my equally rich cousin so eloquently puts it. Inevitably, the feeling of being in a cage sets in for me, and either I sabotage the relationship or become distant. I still talk to another ex from Nashville who wants to buy me a house...I think the older I get, the less fun the "game" becomes. Luxury becomes a bit boring; if you've been in one large, well-furnished home, you've been in them all. I've definitely stolen some decorating ideas for my own place, but the key word is my "own." It's nice to be self sufficient at the end of the day.

Not extremely super rich, but European Royalty (not England or Spain, mind you). I was a business associate with a royal and got invited to his wedding and scored an invitation to stay inside the castle for the weekend. Had to sign a non-disclosure agreement and go through a lecture of proper protocol (how to address the family members, dining etiquette and what topics are off limits, what rooms and areas are off limits, no pictures and no filming of any area inside the house, etc.). It was a glorified hotel stay (tipped the servants at the end of my stay as it is custom). Nice experience and I made some great social and business connections.

I grew up knowing quite a few very wealthy families. They were all old money, which is why I don’t have any interesting stories about yachts or Paris Fashion Week or the “wealthy lifestyle”.

I could tell you many stories about how insanely cheap they were, like that one time someone fired their housekeeper for buying salami that was too expensive.

I met a guy in France when I was in college and traveling through Europe one summer. His family owned the hotel I stayed at. He took to me and we started dating. I took a semester off and we went to London to live. Dinner at Claridges and brunch at Four Seasons etc. He thought nothing of deciding to got to Rome or Zurich for the weekend; he'd decide on Tuesday and we'd leave on Friday. He taught me rules of etiquette and how to behave at fine restaurants and hotels, etc. He was a decent guy but his father sounded like a controlling bastard. I broke it off after about six months because I didn't love him. I was young and idealistic and dumb...

Have known and dated a few 1%ers (though no uberwealthies).

They live upper middle class “Hollywood” style lives: multiple homes and cars that are unused most of the time (“go ahead, take the Porsche to the weekend house. I’ll drive up the day after tomorrow.). They spend a few days in Paris or Acapulco, on the way to their [italic] real [/italic] vacation spots with friends, and don’t especially worry about losing their income stream from six figure jobs - - - if they work.

Some of them are really decent people.

It’s exhausting.

"I met a guy in France when I was in college and traveling through Europe one summer. His family owned the hotel I stayed at. He took to me and we started dating. I broke it off after about six months because I didn't love him. I was young and idealistic and dumb..."

Oh, sweetie!!

Who gives a shit about love when he has MONEY?!?!?

More importantly...how was the s-e-x...???

OP, it’s like normal life, but with more trips to different places for whatever reason under the sun.

I’ve never been wealthy, but I grew up with certain folks that were, and that’s all I’ve got.

Wealthy people can say shit like, “We’re going to Hawaii for a few days! Pack your bikini and I’ll be there in 20 minutes to get you. Don’t worry about not having enough money right now. I got you”.

That’s it.

There’s the 1 percentage then all the people just underneath that want to associate with them hoping some of the wealth rubs off on them. It’s exhausting. I worked as a colorist in a luxury salon and every third client was a “wannabe”, hoping to hobknob with the wealthy clientele. People like veterinarians fresh out of school, realtors and lawyers looking for customers.

R23, that’s sad. I’ve never thought about it that way, but then, I’ve never been to a salon to network and get clients, either.

I have many stories as 3/4 of my long term boyfriends were billionaires. Also have many stories about the old school Velvet mafia. But the most over the top was a real estate billionaires I lived with for 6 months. He was the father of a gym buddy. He showed up to my gym in a suit and asked me to take a drive in his Bentley. Then he propositioned me with an offer of 3k day and an unlimited food, clothing, and entertainment budget. I turned him down 3 times but he kept showing up wherever I was. At the time he was married to a woman who mainly lived in Palm Beach and the Hampton’s. Anyways my lease was suddenly up on my apt. And he offered for me to live in a full floor apartment that he said no one was living there. I had a staff of 10, 5 cars to pick from, charge accounts at all the best restaurants, clothing stores, and salons. My day consisted of hitting the gym, getting a massage , beauty treatment , hitting a fancy restaurant, and then entertaining at the clubs till 3 or 4. I think I was in the top 5 of customers that year for Maxfields, Bergdorf’s Men, Jeffreys, and Barney’s. It ended after two dramatic incidents. One, the wife showed up and had me locked out and made a scene with the building staff and the other was the son screamed at me at the gym that I was running through his inheritance!

I'm usually not this ostentatious, but I have been known to use fancy ketchup on occasion.

But I've worked hard, and dammit I'm going to enjoy my money and finer things in life!

I know a lesbian whose family is in the top 100 wealth in the US - she's worth around half a billion herself.

She has a PhD and works in a very obscure field. She drives 10 year old cars and you would never know until you get invited to her place and start adding up the value of everything she has - and the obvious huge expensive multi-million dollar abode.

She has been fucked over by partners consistently for DECADES. They are ALWAYS after her money or think they are entitled to it because she is their girlfriend.

She's very sweet and intelligent, but it looks to be more of a burden for her than anything else. She really has to be wary of those in her orbit. And every time she walks into a party, there's a 'there she is - do you know how much she is worth?' comments.

The billionaires who want them, have amazing toys. The toy I enjoy the most is the superyacht. Its an out of this world exceptional experience because it's a very high tech machine and a luxury hotel and a private palace and it's floating on the sea with beautiful views. The staff are impeccably trained so the service is better than anywhere. It has almost nothing to do with a cruise ship experience, by the way. It is unique.

A friend of mine is relatively wealthy—owns a home in NYC, travels regularly, and has an extensive designer wardrobe. He’s an art patron with an eye for up and comers, and invests considerable resources advancing the career of his live-in boyfriend, a spoiled, abrasive young man many years his junior.

It makes you wonder how many people succeed in creative fields because of their talent versus being pushed aggressively by someone rich and well-connected.

Being in the entertainment industry I have many friends who are worth more than $100 million. It's weird being around them (I am a peasant compared to them) because they all have varying strange attitudes toward money. One of them, a well known producer, is so cheap that he won't leave more than a 15% tip ever, and often asks me to pay for lunch. Another bargained his cleaning person down to a lesser fee to save maybe $100 a week from a woman who needs the money. And another always claims he never carries cash and sponges off others.

One of my friends inherited $50 million and yet unless you knew her well, you'd think she was middle class as se seeds nothing on anything, she so wants people to think she's like everyone else.

On the other hand, I know others who spend their money so freely that they have hangers-on who are there simply for all the flowing cash they can absorb. They always pay for everyone and everything.

My sense of the latter is that they feel that without money, no one would like them, and they're willing to pay for it. The former are the opposite, they're so afraid people like them for their money they don't let go of it.

All in all, I know almost no one who has handled having lots of money well. It's like a drug, and humans do not do well with drugs.

Yes I have been exposed to it, why do you think it's interesting?

Born to it. Have wealthy friends. Am broke myself.

I grew up in that world and my parents are in the 1% but not the 0.1%

The only common thread is they all have more money than most.

Beyond that, there's not really a common characteristic that defines them. I know people with huge trust funds who are determined to make their mark on the world and work as hard as anyone and others who rely on the fact that they don't really need to generate any real income to launch careers as journalists or filmmakers (a big one) or artists--if they pull in $30K a year, they're happy. And everything in between.

Growing up, I was marginally aware that we were privileged but everyone I knew from school or from camp was in the same boat, plus, growing up in Manhattan, there were always people who were much wealthier than we were. Everything is relative--if your Hamptons house is a relatively modest 4 bedroom post-war on an acre, your friends 8 bedroom beachfront on 4 acres is going to seem like a different world.

Finally, people spend very differently. I had friends whose parents were very into appearances and their apartments always felt like a movie set and friends whose parents were billionaires and had giant apartments with random mostly kid-friendly furniture because the parents just didn't care and rarely entertained at home, Or one friend whose Manhattan apartment was was sort of a mess but the family had a place in the Berkshires that looked like it came from a magazine and that's where they had guests.

Because there are a lot of wealthy people in Manhattan we had something of a sense of community if that makes any sense--you saw the same people at home, out East, on vacation, at camp, etc. You'd run into them at restaurants, shopping, parties and all that. I've known many of them my whole life, the way people who grew up in the suburbs often do. You'll find that sort of situation in London, Los Angeles, Paris and similar cities, too..

But then there's a whole set of rich people I met when I got to college and after who are like R13's closeted South African, where they are entwined in a family business, grew up someplace where there was no community, just the family, and live very nomadic lives, never really feeling at home anywhere and generally (but not always) seem unhappy.

I had a friend at Uni who's family had built a successful manufacturing business over 3 generations. It kinda irked me that he could reach all those financial milestones without any effort; first car, first home, first career job etc. He could get drunk every day, write bad poetry and waste his 20's on dead end jobs and historical re-enactments and he was still "on track" to a comfortable life. He could spend his 30's as a house husband taking the kids to the park every day while the help did the cleaning and washing and the wife forged a career. Then land a job as a history teacher in a posh private school (with a few words from dear old dad). I cut ties with hime years ago but still hear about him occasionally. I wouldn't be so resentful but for his rich kid wisdoms back in the day like "You'll remember the quality long after you've forgotten the price tag".

I married into a wealthy family. (I'm a woman and married a guy.) I really liked everyone in the family (except the father), but it was a really weird dynamic. Everyone was together all the time! The parents and siblings and their partners went out to big dinners at swanky places almost nightly--always vacationed together. Lots of jockeying for position for the patriarch's attention. Lots of family drama, which I enjoyed as a spectator. They all liked me so they were always taking me into their confidence, which was fun.

I was the only one who held a regular job. Finally had to put my foot down and turn down nightly dinners because I had to get up in the morning. Everyone else lived off the father. It was like a less cut-throat version of Succession or Gosford Park.

I came from a comfortable background--grew up in a posh suburb, went to a nice school. But hadn't experienced this type of wealth.

At first, being lavished with gifts was kind of awesome. (Oh, the Christmas mornings! the stacks of presents!) But it became tiresome and suffocating. The father was an asshole and a petty despot. Always pitting people against each other. My husband had 4 sisters--all with desperate husbands tying to get a leg up with the dad.

I wound up leaving my husband (who was a really nice guy) for lesbianhood. The only thing I miss about the lifestyle is--weirdly--the country club they belonged to. I'm laughing as I type that....I have no idea why I loved that place so much, but I did.

Anyway, my ex-husband and I reconnected a few years ago. Apparently, the entire family had a huge falling out when the old man died (big surprise). Everyone scrambling for their share of the $$$. My ex inherited the business, but he and his new wife have no relationship with his siblings, which makes me kind of sad. I really loved his sisters--they were nuts but nice nuts. Most of them got divorced at some point. I loved my ex's mom. She was great and super down to earth.

We did all kinds of rich people things--extravagant trips on a whim. I was--literally--dripping in diamonds, which everyone thought was hilarious because I am not a diamond type of gal. It was ridiculously over the top. The best things about it were a.) the country club; b.) never having to wait for anything--restaurant tables, getting seated on an airplane, etc; c.) never worrying about paying bills. Worse thing was knowing that one guy could pull the rug out from you at any moment. And that made it all easy to walk away from.

Yeah, when I was in college, I had a few friends that were business majors that I always looked down on because I was not just in engineering, I was top of the class. I started to figure it out as we got closer to graduation. While I was so thankful for the opportunities I had created for myself, their plans were to go back to work for the family business. I knew their families had money and had been to the vacation homes and seen the leisure lifestyles their parents enjoyed. (Most of them were drunks and I remember distinctly the anticipation in their eyes when the butler brought in the noon bowl of ice). It was at that time I began to understand the inequity of old money.

One of my first employers came from a middle class background, made a few moves with a licensing business and found a third party to make him moderately rich. He got a wild hair one night and suggested that we go for drinks after work a little after closing for those of us who were normally around at that time. Word spread through the company and there ended up being a crowd there including some people who brought their spouses and never worked past 5 in their lives. I only had enough on my cards to cover a few beers and so that was my stopping point. When the waiter asked about the bill, he said "please bring me MY BILL". In other words, separate checks.

The ensuing scramble of people trying to cover their tab was a lesson I have never forgotten.

A GAY LIFESTYLE. Have you ever been exposed to it?

a good friend was landed gentry in hawaii- typical howlie - even when to punaho HS. They owned property on a couple of the hawaiian islands, maui was the prettiest. Had the best spring break EVER once when i visited.

I have a blue-stocking friend now, granddad was on the board of the empire state building when it was built, billionaire aunts. She hands out iPads for fun, shops because she's bored ("here's this suit I picked up, hope you like it") but LOVES collecting art, a sign to me that she isn't nouveau riche

I grew up in a middle to upper middle class suburb of Chicago. There were people who were self made and were CEOs of some of the worlds top companies. They lived in the same split level houses they bought before they made it big. Drove Oldsmobiles. They didn’t know how to be rich and didn’t even try. Probably kept the money that wasn’t tied up in hundreds of millions of dollars in stock in the company he headed in a savings account. A LOT of the wealthy are the same way. Read “The Millionaire Next Door”.

Kids and teens who inherited their fortune from self-made millionaires parents usually lose it quick if there's nobody around to (micro) manage their finances, because they usually resent the money, because they see it as the cause of their parents being too busy spending time with them or using money to blackmail their kids into doing things they didn't want to do.

Sometimes even when the parents are still alive the kids waste all that hard-earned money from their parents out of spite. Remember DL's very own Kirker? Textbook case where he resented his dad, his dad's money, and his stepmom. And showing it with a string of failed businesses all financed and bailed out by big daddy.

FWIW, the Trump/Murdoch/HBO's Succession scenarios as per R35 may fit in with the average DLers fantasy of what "rich people" are like, but those are the exceptions rather that the rule.

Like some others, I grew up wealthy around other kids from wealthy families. The comment from R15 really resonated with me; wealth is really only "cool" in the context of it giving you a leg up on the rest of society. Growing up living in country estates on dozens of acres, second homes on lakes with large boats and yachts, going to fancy schools and driving nice cars really didn't have any kind of meaning for me due to the fact that most of my friends had the same. It wasn't until I finally went to college that I realized what my situation was and how it differed from most. And in that sense, being rich is just kind of boring unless there's a less prosperous person who puts it in perspective. And I really appreciate a lot of the friends I made in college because they really did teach me, indirectly, that I was taking my families affluence for granted.

One thing I've come to realize in my 30s is that true privilege really isn't about the wow factor, some expensive car or bag or a house with a pool. It really is about having the means to not deal with the very tough situations with which less financially stables people and families deal. One of my high school friends (in a similar vein to R27) had a grandfather who started a highly successful medical device company, and her mom and dad (after inheritance) are worth at least a half a billion. She's a big butch lez so she doesn't go for your typical girly-girl type stuff. She owns nothing worth mentioning, no big house or fancy car, but she could live 10 lives in succession on her wealth and never have to worry about a mortgage, missing a bill, worrying about whether there's enough money for groceries that month or that she overspent on a credit card. I really like that aspect of her.

I take it you mean you like that aspect of her life R42?

Oops, yeah that was poorly written R43, I like the fact that she doesn't feel any compulsion to buy the typical, expensive stuff to showcase her wealth. However, that's not to say that she and her family don't enjoy their wealth. Her sister lives on some island off the west coast, but the house is pretty modest. My friend and her partner, pre-covid, traveled to exotic places (although they were very lesbian-y trips, e.g. staying in some hut in a remote spot of a jungle with no running water or electricity or hiking mountains, but still very pricey). And her parents, despite not living in some grand house, own a lot of expensive motorcycles and buy land overseas (most of which is undeveloped). She also buys/opens businesses without worrying about whether they fail or succeed. One of the weirdest experiences with her was during college; we were home on break and we were driving together. She saw a vintage ruck on the side of the road and just stopped and bought it. She dropped 10k on an old pickup (it was really cool). I do love her, but she does has some dumb rich-girl tendencies. But she's never been one to go to some fancy bar and pay for everyone's bill or buy a a showy car. And I should also note, I do not have the means to live her lifestyle and my family is not nearly as wealthy as they. She was kind of the one exception to the wealthy environment in which I lived.

#3, I think your dad was fucking the boss.

I worked in the family office for a multi-billionaire family, paying their bills, managing their properties, etc. Some family members were fairly down-to-earth and unassuming, while others were imperious assholes. Age was no predictor of who was difficult. Education also didn’t seem to be a factor. Sometimes one sibling was normal and lived quietly, while another would be cast in a movie version of Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous. It was an interesting job - I worked for them for years and years and saw the world.

Great stories. Ive dealt with a few billionaires for work over the years. Most of them are cold, mean, sociopathic people. My sense of their wives is they put up with the nastiness for the money. Maybe because of the cut throat finance culture, they could be different people at home. But I’ve seen a few in social environments and none of them are people I enjoy spending time with. The kids have been probably 50/50 split between utterly incompetent failures and hard workers who are costly trying to meet daddy’s expectations.

One exception was Maurice Tempelsman - Jackie’s boyfriend before she died. A true class act - impeccably polite and always kind with an intelligence, curiosity about others and sincere concern for others that made him a pleasure to be around. The one thing that was unique was every element of service in his home was super professional, his dress and manners were impeccable and any whiff of improper behavior was not tolerated. Like being around the Queen - without the written rules.

My partner's brother is loaded. Three houses, all the kids drive fancy cars, etc. Thankfully they are generous and nice, and not pretentious or snobby.

I’ve been Nice and the Isle of Greece and I sipped champagne on a yacht! 🍾 🛥

An in-law is a millionaire but that may not be much these days. Tightest, cheapest, uncharitable whiner about money I know.

I love bisexual billionaires.

When you grow up rich, money doesn't mean much. Many of my friends are downwardly mobile that way. But they have a purpose in life. We don't know any new rich.

R52, I’ve interacted with plenty of people who have exhausted everything but the trust. They run NGOs for spending money. Every minute is that old “Always Be Selling” bullshit.

Whoever set up their trusts knew human nature as well as swings in the economy - kids and grandkids are provisioned, but some capital is always off limits.

I once had a business conversation on the phone with a very rich guy. During our four minute conversation, he told me four times that he was worth $300 million and shouldn't have to be bothered with the details of the matter we were discussing because he was so rich blah blah blah. I got off the phone and immediately extricated myself from having to deal with him further. He is now worth tens of billions of dollars and makes huge donations to museums and charities in my city. But every time I see his name in the paper, I think "what an asshole".

My sister is married into a wealthy British Israeli family. I do not know how much they're worth, but suffice it to say that last year, her 90 year old Grandmother-in-Law was in frail health and wanted to see the Parisian art museums for one last time. They chartered a private plane and tours from London to Paris, with all sorts of Covid protocols during the whole trip. Apparently they own a chateau in France that Beyonce/Jay-Z likes to stay in.

The same sister and brother-in-law were at the age where all of his friends were getting married- I'd always hear that they had to go to India, Dubai, Italy, Japan for various weddings. They had a baby one year ago, and her father-in-law offered to charter a private plane for our mother to see the new baby (because it's what she wanted for decades), from Chicago to San Diego, and my mother declined, citing that she couldn't have that kind of money spent on her. So our Mom has yet to see the baby in person, and it's sort of killing her.

I'm assuming that they're old money, because they're very self-effacing and no (obvious) designer anything. However if you look closely, everything is top quality fabrics/materials and well made. You would probably know their wealth by the shoes, watches and jewelry for special occasions.

r45 that is funny and I can see why you would think that. My mother and father were churchy, the real kind of christians who loved everybody and did a lot of volunteering. My brothers and I were good kids, I honestly think they got a kick out of our wholesome family. Now that I am middle aged I realize what good parents I had. I honestly think they were always faithful to each other and in love their whole marriage (my dad passed away). I wish I could have as good of a partner.

Maybe the boss and his wife laughed at what "squares" we were behind our backs, I don't know. But they were always kind to us. They had a game room with arcade games, pinball machines, pool table, table tennis, foosball, etc. and nobody used it I so I think they liked seeing us enjoy it. Also we were respectful and not rough with their stuff.

As a kid I could pick up on people being fake and slyly bitchy and I did not get that vibe from them. Ironically the actual stealth bitches were some of my mom's church friends.

I've always been around the very wealthy (prep school, prestigious college, serving on fine arts boards, exceedingly rich relatives). They all put their pants on one leg at a time. The one advantage I enjoy is being able to borrow the Gramercy Park pied a terre from my cousing for a week or two when I feel the need for some NYC time.

I'm so jealous. I want rich friends.

Please..let this be a meth binge & not his mother's insidious psychosis coming on w/age

I HAD to cut you loose!

Some Common DL Misperceptions About Wealth, Cleared Up

• Most wealthy people don't want "the lifestyle". Like most well-adjusted people they want to spend time with friends and family and thus don't feel the need to jet off to whatever places have been deemed chic and trendy that month.

• Most newly wealthy people are not tacky Trump types. If anything, they live well below their means because they have zero interest in joining the sorts of clubs where they'd feel out of place or wearing clothes that feel like dress up. Much more likely that they'll buy a big beach house or house on a golf course somewhere and set it up for friends and family to come visit. And the closest they'll get to "designer clothes" is Polo or Vineyard Vines

• Few old money people are like characters from 1930s movies. Broadly they go one of three ways: fucked up druggies, not very successful artists/filmmakers/yoga instructors who mostly fund other people's art/films/yoga studios, and "normies" who live basic upper middle class lives (doctors, lawyers) and your only clue is their apartment is a whole lot larger than the one the other 32 year old lawyers can afford.

• Few Americans under 60 actually buy all those brands DLers create long threads about. Mainland Chinese, Russians, rap stars and Arabs buy them. Which is why white Americans don't.

My mom was good friends with Gert Boyle (her dad founded Columbia Sportswear and she took over the company). My mom traveled with Gertie quite a bit. She would NEVER leave a tip, so my mom and other friends would have to wait until she was walking away and sneak cash onto the table for the server. I think that the richest person that I know is a friend from college that married a billionaire in the diamond business. They have a jet, yacht, houses in multiple countries, a full staff etc. We met up in Paris a few years ago and it was the best weekend of my life. We had a limo drive us around, and got shitfaced drunk off of champagne. We went shopping (she shopped and I watched). Dinner at Le Cinq. I think that she is quite lonely. Being that wealthy must be terribly isolating. To be honest, I probably would’ve been uncomfortable around her if I wasn’t drinking, and I have known her for 25 years.

Ha R61!!

I remember those ads with Gert Boyle in them from when I was a kid. That's so awesome that you knew her!

Just read her WSJ obit - turns out she was a German Jewish refugee from Nazi Germany whose grandmother was killed in the camps. (Boyle was her married name)

"She would NEVER leave a tip"

Too bad she escaped the gas.

How do they not feel shame for being so wealthy and so cheap?

I grew up fairly poor (oatmeal for dinner a lot) but near the end of high school my father became more successful. We moved to a larger house, and my parents each got a new car. Through it all, I worked a job every day after school and on weekends. Sadly, many of my friends saw the new money at home and started expecting me to pick up checks and provide treats. I was able to get a cheap used car thanks to my job, but people assumed I just had a big allowance. I quickly learned who the real friends were.

The extra money meant I could actually afford to attend the famous private college that had accepted me. There, I definitely felt like Sarah Crewe. Many of my classmates had famous last names, names that could be seen on the buildings around campus, etc. Most of the time it was no big deal. They had better tennis rackets, but (mostly) not better cars. But during breaks it was always ski trips and sailing trips and all the usual preppy stuff. I did get invited for weekends from time to time, and I learned that taste and money don't always go hand in hand.

My only real connection to money is one of my oldest and best friends, who created a popular website and retired independently wealth at age 40. She had already married a great guy, so no worries on that end. They frequently invite me to join them for fun activities -they even flew me to join them in London at a fantastically posh residential hotel. Their driver picked me up at the airport... But for all their money they are as down-to-earth as ever, and while never cheap, they don't spend money foolishly. They use points and miles when they travel, in order to stay at places that are more expensive than they could truly afford to pay full price for. They don't skirt their taxes, and do give large amounts to charity every year. They know how lucky they have been. If I even won the Lotto I would aspire to be like them: live comfortably, travel often, bring friends along, and support worthy causes. Who needs yachts and private jets? Or an entourage? Okay, so maybe a hot Cuban pool boy... ;)

What if this was a ringtone?

I grew up middle class and still am. My uncle was the one who had money...not ultra wealthy, but he was a doctor. He and my aunt traveled a lot, had a nice house....but my uncle was cheap. He didn't like to spend too much money. It was an unhappy family, too. A cousin committed suicide and my other cousin, who was gregarious and spoiled, got married and never heard from her.

I married an oil billionaire in the mid 1990s. He died shortly after, and left me nothing. During our time together I received about $6 million worth of cash, assets and real property. He'd promised me HALF OF EVERYTHING he had. But his son (who always hated me) destroyed the documents, leaving me with no proof. I struggled to support myself, as it was very expensive to be me. I had to do porn magazines & videos, then plus size modeling, a reality tv show, and finally being a spokesperson for diet pills.

That photo grosses me out..^^

I have a friend who buys houses like we buy groceries. I can't even remember how many she has. She has a house in the city I live, but it's not her primary residence; that's in Florida. She wanted a new house in my city. One day she called me to say she found one she liked. Would I go look at it, and if I liked it, she would buy it (for herself, not me!). Two days later, I went to look at it, Facetimed the tour for her, and she bought it sight unseen immediately, like ten minutes after finishing the tour. For cash, $60k over asking, no inspection. It's a beautiful house with a pool which I can use whenever I like, it's great! But the whole thing was just crazy and alien to me.

I've been in the homes of billionaires...the Kochs, Washington (Montana) many times. I was horrified by their political power, but always knew my place, it was business and I needed my job. They were always kind, first name basis. It was the new money set that would be difficult, insulting, demanding.

Not with billionaires or royalty, but I grew up in Santa Barbara in a pretty well-to-do area and the rich people were all around me. I played with their kids at their houses and for various reasons ended up seeing the inside of a lot of mansions (including in Montecito, before the riffraff moved in). My dad played tennis with Fess Parker and I used to go to his big fancy house. The whole area is lovely, I wish we had never left.