Are addicts just cowards at heart?

You use many words to compensate for your failure to understand genetics and biology. Are you an aristocrat whose parents failed to get you a "uni" education?

Addicts will use you until you stop allowing them to do so. They are selfish and care only about where their next drink or drug comes from. Until they either want to stop or are forced somehow to stop, they will use you up and then spit you out. Get away, get out ASAP. You cannot help someone that chooses not to be helped.

Not sure about cowardly,but drug addiction is certainly the most selfish thing I know of so far.

People don't choose to be addicts. Some people can use a drug several times a month for years and not become addicted, being able to walk away at any time. Other people might use it just a few times, and they'll crave it for the rest of their life. The problem is...if you're the latter, you won't know it until it's too late.

My family has lots of people who have struggled with addiction to alcohol and other drugs. One relative was the town drunk who regularly embarrassed his family and verbally abused his wife. One of his grown children and one grandchild committed suicide while high on hard drugs. One child committed crimes while on drugs. Two grandchildren lost custody of a child because they couldn't stop using hard drugs. One grandchild died in a vehicle accident while under the influence of an illegal drug.

I also have a few relatives who became alcoholics in middle age. One used alcohol to self medicate after an accident. His spouse, who was the strong, silent type who repressed her feelings, got drunk alongside him one night....and then got drunk every night for the next 20 years.

That's why I'm afraid to touch alcohol and other drugs. Even though i have horrible anxiety. I would love to ingest something that could make all the overwhelming, bad thoughts go away for a few hours. But I won't.

[Quote],but drug addiction is certainly the most selfish thing I know of so far.

Not nearly as the succubus users around addicts who either by being virtue of actually being close or pretending to be close to an addict makes a boatload of money in these 'influencer' days.

Your story is very odd OP. Why do you have to buy him food or allow him to live with you? Are you being blackmailed by this drug addict.? Dealing with an addict is nightmare stop trying to understand them Stop enabling .

Some people are actually addicted to posting especially sordid tales on DL, OP.

What kind of person does that?

If addicts really gave a shit about the people in their lives they’d disappear

To speak to my own personal experience, I didn't set out to become an addict. It's very gradual, and by the time you realize you're an addict, you're so deep in that getting out feels impossible. When I started drinking, about 5 drinks was enough to get me pretty drunk, I didn't need to do it everyday, and it was fun. I was usually shy and drinking made me more social. By the end, it was 20 drinks a night, it did nothing but numb me, and I used it as an excuse *not* to be social.

OP, your situation sounds very toxic. I don't advise waiting for Social Services or whatever to get away from this person. You shouldn't have let him live with you. But now that you have, don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy. I'd advise getting out ASAP. This is another mistake I made, and with someone who was addicted to much harder drugs than the alcohol I gulped down on a nightly basis (though my alcoholism didn't help matters.) I waited way too long to get out and paid a steep price for it. Years and years later, I'm still not over the PTSD from that situation.

[quote]I don't know what to do, since I've been involved with this person for two years now and there are a lot of things that need to be resolved before I can distance myself from him.

Get out, OP. Now. It's not gonna get better.

[Quote]Currently living with an addict

What a useless mother-fucking cunt you are then!

[quote] His spouse, who was the strong, silent type who repressed her feelings, got drunk alongside him one night....and then got drunk every night for the next 20 years. That's why I'm afraid to touch alcohol and other drugs.

There Addicts Dear, you are not. In fact 99% of the population are not. You will not become one just by having a cocktail. Relax.

Cheers.

^^They are^^

Why are you paying for his food? If he's not working he instantly qualifies for "food stamps" which is called SNAP benefits or EBT. It's not a lot of money, about 200 a month but the good thing about it is he cant spend it on drugs. It's basically like an ATM card that only works at grocery stores and will reject things like Alcohol and tobacco.

With the caveat that he doesn't sell it or trade it for drugs. Big trouble for doing that. But not that common because who want to buy a limited ATM type card if they already have the cash.

Nicotine addicts do choose to be addicts.

The first cigarette makes them cough and sometimes vomit. They keep at it until they are addicted.

Don't enable addiction and seek help for yourself first

how about sex addicts?

Don't do drugs!

[quote]Don't do drugs!

Especially if you cant afford them.

Bump... Update us OP. I want more details, like why you thought you had to help this person in the first place and why you won't leave now.

I won't address addicts as a class of people, and I'm not a biologist or social worker, so I have no expertise about the how and why and the what do we do now. I have had two addicts in my life and they were the most manipulative, soul-crushing, self-destructive people you can imagine. Now, however, try to imagine that the addiction is somehow your fault -- you don't love them enough to make or help them stop, but you're done with the lies and thievery, and the wanton destruction to everything and everyone they touch. Oh, and they're not addicts, they "suffer" from a "substance use disorder." See? Personal responsibility gone, presto! I don't think they're cowards necessarily, but we might want to rethink our position that every life is a sacred gift.

That said, I've known my share of drinkers, heavy drinkers, and alcoholics but, while wildly unreliable, they turn their dislike inward. They feel rotten about themselves, but they usually try to make it up on some level. Fortunately I've never been close to those sociopathic drunks who drive while intoxicated. I would cut those people out of my life with extreme prejudice.

[quote]Why are you paying for his food?

Because he's getting fucked by the addict in question.

Addiction is brain disorder. It's proven neuroscience. OP is a stupid fuck.

Ohhhh r22. Duh. I wonder if OP is the latest sweet naive fool my ex tricked into taking care of him.

Depends if you are with an addict who is using or in treatment. There's a healthy overlap of personality disorders and addiction also, so its helpful to recognize if you are dealing with that too.

Speaking as an alcoholic who's been sober for 15 years...

I don't think the root causes of addiction matter one bit to people like me!

All that really matters is that something in me can't handle alcohol, and I need to stay away from it for the rest of my life. And that's the plan, that and avoiding other addictive substances, I don't smoke or drink or use drugs, and never will.

Now the psychologists who study addiction in the hopes of coming up with effective treatments are welcome to look into the root causes, but it's not actually important for the rest of us. For those of us who are vulnerable to addiction the only thing that matters is "JUST DON'T", and for the rest of society the message should be "USING DRUGS OR OVERUSING ALCOHOL IS JUST PLAIN STUPID".

R1 genetics and biology is not relevant to the huge number of people abusing opiates. Purdue pharmacy played a far greater role.

No, that's you, Vin.

See, when the addict is free of their addiction they can be innocent & childlike again. But YOU, your brain is misfired & wired so oddly, like a sexual pedophile predator. You can't get away from yourself. Innate. Baby, you were born that way.

So any addict has it over you. Any regular addict can be free & is full of potential

You? You're a lost cause

Like so many addicts, R28 is PROUD of the trail of human wreckage he's left behind!

Is NuckofNorth AIKC?

A lot of addicts are misunderstood, in that they have black magic that causes them to abuse substances and makes it impossible to stop.

You can remove magic, sure, but if the person that gave it to you is monitoring you and stalking you, which they often are, it can be incredibly difficult to KEEP it off for any length of time.

That homophobic pig Rainier gives a lot of people addiction engineers that make it impossible for them to abstain from drugs. He does it because he's inferior and he wants to punish his betters. He gave Scott Weiland heroin and cocaine engineers before he was a routine drug user. Once he strengthened the magic, it ruined his life.

RIP.

R22, I'm not getting fucked by anyone. I'm a top and not sexually active at the moment. The addict in question and I went through a really rough moment in life together and so we're trauma bonded. I also care about him, and he's completely destitute and can't take care of himself at the moment. He stays with me when he's not staying at a hotel paid for by social services, and I pay cover his and my food, etc.

He is working with several social services orgs, with the goal of getting him into supportive housing and overall case management. That is what he needs honestly, and I'm hoping for the best outcome for him. I think he will always be in my life if he gets sober, but for now, that's the biggest obstacle for him.

R23, I know it's a chemistry thing, but there's also the behavioral and natural component to addiction. How much of their addiction comes down to defects of character and just shitty behavior. 50%? 60?

They may be predisposed to becoming an addict, but that doesn't absolve them of their shitty behavior and self control, and their inability to be self aware and considerate of others.

See, I'm not a "stupid fuck" after all.

R28, what in the wide world of fuck are you talking about?

R32 A top you say? Who likes to take care of poor wounded creatures?

How YOU doin?

Addiction is a form of brain damage, drugs change the structure of the brain causing it to crave the very thing that is destructive. Try going without food or drink for a day or two, soon both your body and brain will be crying out for both, its just the same with drink and drugs to the addict, which is why its so difficult to stop.

What about food addiction? Isn’t that the same kind of addiction is heroin and meth, etc.? If you’re addicted to food don’t you get a high from it? Plus if you don’t eat food you will eventually die. That’s what’s messed up about it.

[quote] [R28], what in the wide world of fuck are you talking about?

This also applies to R31.