What is the worst cologne you've ever smelled on someone?

Hmm, I love Fahrenheit - but it is very powerful, and even a single full spray is too much. I don't wear it often, because even a very light partial spray will last FOREVER on me, and it dries down to a massive vetiver bomb. Something about my skin likes to hang onto vetiver though, and anything with a strong vetiver base will linger and overwhelm.

A fragrance I really can't stand is Lolita Lempicka Au Masculin. So much Anise, and very sweet. I am not a big fan of gourmand fragrances, and vanilla doesn't do a lot for me as a note. It was a break from the mainstream when it came out in 2000, but yuck.

Angel. I cannot stand that syrupy caramelly chocolatey sugary smell on someone. It's disgusting.

Brut always gave me a knot in my throat. It's so cheap and awful.

Drakar Noir.

Alien by Thierry Mugler is disgusting. It has jasmine in it, which smells like sex, but it smells like no jasmine I've ever smelled... it's like jasmine grown on another planet (hence its name?). It makes me think of anal probes conducted by "greys."

Sorry, Drakkar Noir.

R4

“Man” by Calvin Klein. It’s disgusting. Literally (dictionary meaning) the worst scent I’ve ever smelled other than shit and decaying cat food.

Kouros. The worst.

R5- Oh my god. My 2nd worst.

It is horrendous. That one smells so unsettlingly bizarre just like Angel.

Both are disgusting.

Sorry I am R2, not R5

Creed - Irish Tweed smells like Riteguard over BO on everyone.

Hermès Rocabar cologne hits the top of my nose like adobo vomit.

Grey Flannel - only because I spilled a container in my room when I was 16.

Habit Rouge turns my stomach something fierce.

CK1 so many rapey guys loved that one

This customer at my old job used to smell like Raid. I never had the nerve to ask him what cologne he was wearing.

Electric Youth and Fetish

Drakkar Noir. Smells like cheap whiskey and the tears of closeted boys that were born in the 70s

Did whoever makes Blue Water ever make another cologne that came in a red bottle? Or was that Fahrenheit? They're both awful, but the red-bottled one is worse by far. Instant migraine.

Charlie was shitty. Do they still make it? It's like the female Brut.

Polo. I wish I could describe how bad it is, but it's not as bad as abobo vomit or decaying cat food.

However, regular fabric softener makes me feel nauseated- what fragrance do you call that?

What is "abobo vomit"?

r17: there isn't a Blue Water cologne. Do you mean Cool Water, by Davidoff?

That's it, r21, Cool Water. Thanks.

And I figured out that the one in the red bottle had to have been Fahrenheit, as the Davidoff cologne in the red bottle didn't come out until 2009, by which time the guy who wore it had been dead for a few years. Fahrenheit was released in 1988.

Re r7, I think Man by CK is supposed to smell like a man’s balls — that ripe, very sour smell — but much more intense, and “sharper”.

R23, I'd much rather smell Garrett Neff's balls than that stupid cologne.

I loved Cool Water back in the day.

that sickening sweeeet odor of Angel by mugler....ugh

R24, I’m sure his smooth, sexy balls smell sweet. Fuck — now I want to fuck my pillow looking at him.

Use one of these as your pillowcase, r27.

Fuck yeah, R28. Thanks.

My brother always wore Drakkar Noir, and I finally asked him why he wanted to smell like a bar at closing time. I have a couple of fragrances that I have to handle like they're radioactive: Givenchy Gentleman and JOOP. I've never worked up the nerve to wear either of them in public. I hate Platinum Egoiste on me, but my BF wears it beautifully.

You want to lure a potential gentleman caller? I have the method. Hoyt's....

I loved smelling Sauvage by Dior on guys. It drove me crazy. Bought a bottle and wasn’t a fan of it on myself. So I gave it to my friend so I could be even more aroused by being around him.

Tom Ford Fucking Fabulous

Also very good.

^^^^

Agree on the Fahrenheit. But anything by Dior gives me a splitting headache that borders on a migraine.

Diesel Fuel for Life on anyone over 19.

The smell of a cologne on someone depends on his body chemistry.

[quote]I have a couple of fragrances that I have to handle like they're radioactive: Givenchy Gentleman and JOOP.

I loved Joop! Homme back in the day (mid-'90s) because it was sweet, fruity, and androgynous; I've heard the reformulation is watered down considerably vs. the vintage. Incidentally, I have a bottle of Joop! Femme, which I find even more masculine than Homme (it's a civet bomb).

Something from Tom Ford - I think it was Tobacco Vanille.

Escape for men, by Calvin Klein ... instant headache

[quote]CK1 so many rapey guys loved that one

Typcial Frau, "rapey" ? Gay men do not think of guys as rapey.

CK ONE is actually very nice citrus sent.

White Shoulders (for women) smells like dirty baby diapers

Jade East was atrocious.

2 buck Chuck AKA Charlie

In the 80's every fucking office Frau Sex-e-tary wore gallons of this shit. Boomer idea of class or "classy".

R42, I get that from vintage Joy.

I really dislike Acqua di Gio. It smells one-note and cloying, like an air freshener.

Jazz, Joop and Fahrenheit worn by hundreds of queens in the same place made going out to clubs in the 80s a challenging olfactory experience.

It's a toss up between Habit Rouge (Grandma's Make-up smell) and Angel (bad baked goods), All time historical shitlist: Brut, Kouros, and Polo,

I know Brut is declassified but this jock I loved in college wore it. Whenever I smell it it takes me back to his dorm room and sophomore year.

declasse^

I actually love Fahrenheit; even after all these years, it's my favorite men's scent. The one I can't stand -- in either the male or the female version -- is Obsession. That smell nauseates me, and when I was a kid ca. 1986, it seemed like EVERYONE was dousing themselves in it.

Oud by Tom Ford. Sauvage and Drakkar Noir are nasty and cloying.

My roommate wears Angel and Alien but they don't really smell that bad on her as on others and I assume it's because she is shower-crazed. Takes 3 a day ffs.

all of them . I got a health accommodation to work from home due to extreme scent allergies. But mostly its was women's personal use products. thankfully most men nowadays aren't big users, mostly ethnics. I have noticed lately blue collar men doing work in your home like plumbers or electricians do , I wondered if the company policies recommended it as to not offend the customers

"the ethnics", the weekend causal racism of DL.

I had a bottle of Jazz by YSL when it came out around 1988. It was distinctive, which I liked, but it seemed to give everyone around me a headache. I’d love to get my hands on an original black and white plastic bottle to see what I think of it today.

Anything with musk in it

Poison...you could smell the wearer coming 4 miles away

[quote]I have noticed lately blue collar men doing work in your home like plumbers or electricians do. I wondered if the company policies recommended it as to not offend the customers.

Cable installers in Pittsburgh wear lots of deodorant or cologne, leading me to think it must be Comcast policy.

Balenciaga for Men.

Anything that smells of musk. I don't care how expensive it is, if it's one of the musk scents I literally get nauseated if I smell it.

There are some particularly awful women's perfumes, too. Fendi comes to mind, though I understand the one I hated most is no longer being made. And anything made with evening primrose oil is nasty in the extreme.

Any and all cologne on a man is an abomination.

I LOVE Drakkar Noir

One million, La Vie Belle, Versace Eros Most of Armanis Scents Most of CK Frags exl Obsessions pre 2000 reformulations Dior Sauvage

Most mainstream frags smell like chemical soup and gives me headache.

Paco Rabanne, back in the '70s when their ads looked like this:

Brut - just godawful but I endured it because the guy who wore it threw a mean fuck. I'd smell it in my bedroom hours after he left.

THE worst.

Paul Sebastian, indescribably offensive.

I ran when an acquaintance was wearing Merde by Matthew (McConaughey).

Fendi

I used to wear Drakkar unti someone told me that it didn't mix with my body chemistry, and really smelled awful on me. Something about the smell of cabbage, if I remember.

I loved Diesel Masculine and men seemed to love it on me, but they don't seem to make it any more.

You older DLer’s will remember this one : Jade East. It was awful.

Every cologne smells terrible on me, from light to heavy. Body chemistry plays a huge role.

Colognes and perfumes don’t hold their scent anymore. Unless you’re buying high-end, everything is watered down.

In the 1990's Calvin Klein had a perfume called OBSESSION. What a GAY name for a fragrance.

Obsession was probably what that QUEEN Calvin had for many of his male models.

I didn’t even know it existed, but this from the 60s sounds like a good candidate.

Today it’d be a trans name R75, which you’d appreciate much more.

TRANSITION by Calvin Klein.

CHOPPED

the new fragrance by Caitlyn Jenner

Joop, Eternity and Obsession. Everyone wore them in the 90s, and everyone stank. Even the name Joop still makes me gag.

Clinique Happy is a light citrus scent that I remember with fondness

R75 are you gay? What is your problem with Calvin Klein and his career? You sound like a homophobic cunt.

R82 - is it me or have there been a load of homophobic (particularly anti-gay men) posts? I don't like Obsession but certainly the marketing was impressive.

I don't care for Stetson, Brut, Canoe by Dana, Aramis, and Estee Lauder Metropolis which was peddled by Lizsha.

R83 it has run amok. FF this cunt at R75.

As a kid, I thought that Stetson commercial with the guy on the horse riding in the park with the city backdrop was so impressive and romantic. So surely the cologne must smell great too, right? Wrong!

Can’t abide the scent of any Boss or Armani, particularly: Boss Orange, In Motion, Extreme, XY, & Bottled Tonic, and; Armani Code, Man, and Stronger With You. Sorry to anyone who wears and likes them, they just don’t agree with my nose.

Rightly or wrongly, I also judge Boss harshly for their past association with Far Right politics, same as Chanel. Pity, as they’ve had some gorgeous men advertise their frags.

R23/R41 years ago, a DLer once commented that ck was for only good for middle-aged mall-walkers, failed and faded JC Penney catalogue models, and lesbian stand-up comics, and I have never forgotten that.

ck Secret Obsession, Eternity, Reveal, and above all One Shock are the worst. Imo, One Shock should have been banned and withdrawn for being so vile. Odious juice.

ck One isn’t offensively awful like the above, but it is banal, immature, and highly-overrated cheap reek. I do not understand why it’s a beloved classic or a touchstone; presumably the marketing caught the zeitgeist back in the day. My mother still clings to a bottle, for some insane reason, though she has much nicer and better and more flattering scents she can wear.

Canoe was something I wore as a high school kid and I liked it. I think originally it was a woman's fragrance when it was invented. I smelled it recently and I don't think it's quite the same. I also wore Abercrombie's Fierce (which smells almost exactly like Mont Blanc) and is a cool scent but unfortunately smells like prom to me, because so many boys wore it. Or like the store.

Drakkar Noir hands down. It always smelled good for a minute and then I would inevitably wonder 'wait, did he fart in the other room and trail it over here?' and I realized finally it was the Drakkar

R42, I had a coworker back in the day who wore White Shoulders (I asked her what the name was) and could not be in the same room as her. One of the worst smell I've ever encountered.

I am big Creed fan, but one of he most odd and off putting scents I ever tried was Royal Mayfair...

I think the gin, pine, and eucalyptus do not work with the other notes..

From the website-

TOP NOTES

British Gin, Jamaican Lime, Scottish Highland Pine

MIDDLE NOTES

Duke of Windsor Roses

BASE NOTES

Bahamian Orange, Canadian Cedar, Australian Eucalyptus

English Leather

4711

Joy by Jean Patou is really unpleasant for me--it smells like old ladies.

Ma Griffe

My mother forbid me to wear Hawaiian Surf because it permeated everything when she washed my sheets. Looking back, I realize I didn't truly understand the difference between "cologne" and "marinade."

Brut, English Leather, Eternity and Obsession because people doused themselves in it. Anyone remember Jean Nate? Foul.

Malibu Musk.

It just couldn't cover the smell.

Drakkar Noir and Obsession. I have MS and a chemical sensitivity (trust me - it's real, not imagined), and in the days of hugging, if a guy that wore either of those scents hugged me, I'd have to go home and take a shower. It must have been a specific ingredient, but I was never able to isolate what it was.

There was a friend that wore so much of it I finally and gently explained to him that I could not be hugged by him, and why. But that's hard to do with casual acquaintances.

Obsession for Men is horrendous

R94, we used to use 4711 to clean the conveyor belts in the factory that made it.

In the 00s I lived in downtown Portland and used to have coffee every morning at a local coffeeshop. Down the street was a car dealership, ad every morning near when i did a woman who worked at the dealership came in to get a latte: she had the most incredible foul smell I have ever smelled on another human being. The (gay male) baristas and I once talked about how awful it was once after she left, and another customer (a woman) told us it she recognized it as Jean Naté. One of the baristas said, "Jean Naté smells that awful?" and the woman responded wryly, "It's not just the Jean Naté--it's also layered with what she's hoping the Jean Naté will hide" and she left it at that.

Thereafter, whenever I saw Cheryl jokes on Datalounge, that's how I always imagined Cheryl smelling: like unbelievable female crotch-stank covered ineffectually with Jean Naté.

Kiss (yes, the band) came out with a cologne back in 2005-ish. I'm a huge Kiss fan, but I almost threw up when I smelled a sample of it at the counter at Macy's. It smelled like really bad body odor and baby powder - not kidding. I honestly thought I was being pranked for some sort of Candid Camera type show and started looking around to see if there was some sort of film crew shooting me.

For me it's Lagerfeld, the one from the 80s with the ring on the bottle cap. My God that shit was disgusting on anyone who wore it (and at JR's in Dallas at the time many did).

Old Chanel No5. It was so strong, smelled awful, and I could not stop sneezing!

I love Calvin Klein colognes for the most part but dislike Encounter Fresh and Obsession. I love CK One, Escape and Eternity; they go well with my body chemistry.

Once I bought a Burberry cologne. It smelled horrible.

Gee. I hate to admit that I used to like Drakkar Noir. But then again, I used to like patchouli oil, too. Sorry to have offended all of you guys.

Patchouli is worthy of the death penalty. It makes me think of fat chicks with dirty feet, stringy hair reeking of weed, cigarettes and that vile scent.

Obsession smells great on me. It’s still my fave and I don’t care what you queens think!

[italic]Anyone[/italic] who wears Obsession obviously doesn't care what anyone else thinks!

I still wear Halston Z14. I've tried them all.

It really is a matter of body chemistry.

Grey flannel -

Elizabeth Taylor's Passion was atrocious.

When I read the title of this thread, my mind went immediately to Obsession for men by Calvin Klein. 1987ish? It smelled SO SWEET. But many years later, in the 2000s I complimented a guy on his cologne and he said it was Obsession. Dunno why I used to think it was disgusting, but then not. Probably the body chemistry thing. But in 1987, every gay boy rushed out to buy the newest designed cologne and bathed in it before going out.

The scent that actually makes me nauseous is Patchouli. It literally sickens me. It is unfortunate when I see somebody attractive and when I get close I smell Patchouli. It instantly lowers my opinion of them.

^^^ designer

Any remember Paco Rabanne? That was my cologne back in the day that got me a lot of compliments. Eventually Paco had disappeared and I switched over to Cool Water.

People should know there’s a right way and a wrong way to put on perfumes and colognes.

[quote] People should know there’s a right way and a wrong way to put on perfumes and colognes.

Don't leave us hanging! What are they?

Worst: Man by Calvin Klein

It was 1964. My third grade teacher wore TABU. I could smell it from 100 Ft.

There was a perfume for women called Cachet. I used to carpool with a woman who wore it. It smelled exactly like RAID to me.

I've totally abandoned designer fragrances for the niche world (the stuff you can't buy at Macys or Nordstrom).

But CKOne is still wonderful and I use the body spray as deodorant sometimes. I also enjoy the yearly CK One Summer editions, which change every year. They had a coconut sunscreen variation in 2019 that was great. Also the CK One platinum uses apple and i love it.

Paco Rabbane is vomit inducing, sorry R117.

For women, anything Estee Lauder (I'm looking at you, Youth Dew), Emeraude and Shalimar.

My mom used to wear a ton of Emeraude, and to me it smelled like a rancid brew of chalk and Glade. That plus her Lark cigarettes gave me a knot in my throat.

R85 - I ff'd this person and wish DL would start having some filter or at least graying out the endless homophobia whoever feels the need to inflict on us here to add to their pathetic lives. UGH! Imagine, it is sad for us that we are stuck in the house with this COVID shit and need to be on DL, but I mean trolling a gay site is not just sad, it's pathetic.

Christian Dior Poison

Giorgio Beverly Hills

(Old version) Rochas Femme

Cumming by Alan Cumming for men is the best AND worst scent.

It has semen notes, fecal notes, burnt rubber and vinyl notes, tobacco notes, leather notes and on and on.

It smells like a1970s bookstore arcade on Sunday morning.

It makes me weep for the good old days.

Grab a decant if you can.

R105 OG Lagerfeld is famous in the world of rock/pop music for being the signature of Mötley Crüe vocalist Vince Neil. He used to practically bathe in the stuff. This combined with the reek of B.O. and coke sweat (both fresh & stale), cigarette smoke, and rancid perfume rubbed off from the bodies of groupies made for quite memorable stench.

He probably stank as awfully as his voice. Good thing he was the life of every party, and very, very pretty.

Jean Nate

Not a men’s cologne, but I remember girls wearing Exclamation! back in the late 80s/early 90s. Make a statement without saying a word, indeed 🤢🤮

My mother loved Shalimar and White Shoulders. She would bathe in it for 'special occasions' and give everyone in the room a migraine.

My dad always smelled of soap and a slap-face of Aqua Velva. I loved that smell.

R67 Every teenage boy bathed in Axe years ago. High school classrooms stank of it for years.

How the fuck would people know what's the worst cologne they ever smelled? Do you ask a person: hey, I hate your cologne, it's disgusting. Can you tell me the name of it??

R133 It's easy. You simply ask the person: "What are you wearing?" And then when they respond, say something like: "It's very interesting" and walk away or if he looks like a good fuck, something like "A little strong but you can handle it" . Yes, it's a lie but #1 - you'll learn the name of the cologne and #2 - get a good fuck.

Something that smelled like overripe pears.

Met a number of men in the early 70’s who reeked of the stuff.

Back in the 1990s, there was this big, tall, heavier set guy who worked on the same floor as I did but in a different department. There was one common bathroom. Nearly every morning, I always seemed to have to pee at the same time he had to poop. I don't know the name of the cologne he wore, but it was awful smelling on its own.

I'd walk into the bathroom and first be assaulted by the cologne smell. You knew he was either in there or just had been. You knew he was in there if you'd hear him whistling. Yes, he was a whistle-pooper! Then as you'd pass the sinks and get to the urinals (the stalls were beyond the urinals), you'd get the cologne scent mixed with a nasty dump smell. Awful! I used to call him Chanel No. 2.

I think it was Xeryus, original formula, that a boyfriend requested I wear to meet him at the finish line of a marathon. He actually said he wanted me to bathe in it. I realized later that the fragrance probably reminded him of someone else or the acrid smell of the gas station bathroom in which they'd had sex.

Acqua di Gio. works well for me...light, not too strong.

Wow. I just considered and then decided not to buy the reworked Xeryus yesterday. I saw it super cheap online. It's not a scent I wore back then.

Patchouli makes me want to gag, I would rather smell a skunk.

[quote] How the fuck would people know what's the worst cologne they ever smelled?

Because when a coworker is wearing it, and another coworker asks what is the matter when that person walks by, you tell the person who asked what is the matter and they tell you "that is Patchouli". At least that is how I found out the name of it.

Invictus by Paco Rabanne

Champagne by YSL. My mother's used to use it. Just the memory make me sick.

[quote] How the fuck would people know what's the worst cologne they ever smelled?

My college roommate wore Obsession for Men. I lived with him for a year. We all knew what he wore. It smelled up our apartment daily.

The original Polo, in hindsight, wasn't so great either.

Dior really should have done their research.. Fahrenheit smells identical to the scent used in an Australian insect repellant called Aerogard, which you can buy for a few dollars a tin.

Canoe

Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue gives me a severe headache. I HATE Mugler's Angel, and especially A*Men.

I am obsessed with many Guerlain fragrances, especially vintage ones.

Actually I love Fahrenheit, but I agree that smelling it on every other man in a gay bar or even in the street is a huge turn off.

Same with Terre d’Hermès. What a wonderful scent, but some days it feels like everyone is wearing it.

It was Lagerfeld a generation before r149.

R146 no it doesn't, you nasty plebe.

I absolutely loved the original Largerfeld R150. People used to always comment on how nice I smelled. That's never happened with another scent for me. But I haven't worn/had it since the early nineties and I probably wouldn't want to these days.

My first boyfriend wore the tiniest bit of Lagerfeld. I really only smelled it when we were holding each other. And I liked it. It looked different than the orange-colored cologne I see when I google "Lagerfeld cologne" today. It was a pale yellow, IIRC.

I'm talking in r153 about someone I was with in the late '70s.

I want to watch this documentary, Nose, about Dior’s fragrance creator. I’ve seen it is now for rent on most platforms.

This thread is DL catnip.

White shoulders which every old frau wore in the late 80’s, that smell was pervasive.

Youth dew, it didn’t work well with most people’s chemistry.

Jovan musk

There was a series of cheap fragrances produced from around 1985-1997 or so from prince Machiavelli that was pure trash.

Let’s not forget these gems:

Electric youth

Passion

Exclamation

Aquavelva

Canoe

La Yuqawam by Rasasi - this was a blind by my me and a BIG mistake. I read countless reviews about how wonderful it was so I jumped in. I tried to like it but I just couldn't when there are so many truly wonderful fragrances that are far better. It has a really sweet flowery them and it reminds me of a Feminine Deodorant spray. And I HATE that smell. It did come in a really beautiful wooden box with a brass accent that is magnetized but boy the juice in the bottle stinks!

I do have many wonderful fragrances that I wear based on my mood, the season and just because!

That was the original Lagerfeld R154/R153. See pic at link. They make a new version now called Classic Lagerfeld but it's not the same I don't think.

Yes, r158. That's it, exactly. Thank you.

Jovan Musk

Shalimar always smelled like cat pee to me. Never like Safari by Ralph Lauren (both the men's and women's versions)

I used to love Safari; it just worked with my skin chemistry - then I had a coworker (and a very heavy smoker) who seemed to bathe in Safari. It put me off for life.

[quote]Shalimar always smelled like cat pee to me.

I wonder when you used to smell it. In the 1960s, all the Ladybug and Villager girls wore Shalimar, and I thought it smelled heavenly.

To each his own but I never liked Shalimar (L'heure Bleu also smells like pee to me)

R129 Jean Nate makes me think of the ‘Jeffreys’ SNL skits.

In one, Sean Hayes (guest-starring) working as a gay clerk in a high-end designer store insults a customer, telling her “what’s rude is that Jean Nate bodysplash you’re trying to pass off as perfume”.

R55 aww, wish I’d run across you last year mate!

Cleaning out my grandmother’s attic for her to have a conversion, we found several empty vintage perfume flankers, one of which was the heavy wavy achromatic plastic JAZZ bottle. It’s like no bottle I’ve ever seen before, and I know my frags.

Long story short, I ended up selling it someone online to a YSL collector just before Xmas. It was a really cool flanker, so I was sorry to see it go, but unfortunately it’s one of those ones you can’t break into and refill or use for anything else, and as we’re Marie Kondo-ing right now in family it wasn’t a good fit.

We also found a vintage Arpege (from the 50s, I believe), a VC&A Gem, and a Safari. My grandmother currently wears Anais Anais and Ange Ou Demon (yes, she has horrible taste).

Shit water

Hands-down, “Aramis” was/ is one of the most vile smelling colognes ever concocted. That shit never smelled good on ANYBODY. Now add to the mix, booze and cigarette breath, the sweat from a hot dance floor, and you’ve got yourself a smell capable of eye watering mass destruction. And yet Aramis was the rave back in the 70s! Go figure.... Give me a dab of Paco Rabane or Jovan-Musk for Men, please.

Cumming is the worst. I couldn't even describe it, it's so bad. I love Angel because it smells like candy and sex. All the Chanel fragrances: Blue, Egoiste, Egoieste Platinum, Anteus are all great. Banana Republic has some nice clean fragrances. In the old days I also liked "Carrington" from "Dynasty". It smelled more expensive then what it was.

R51 My sentiments, exactly. Liked Fahrenheit, though I strongly associate it with late 80s/90s. But Obsession used to make me feel sick to my stomach, and it was inescapable in the 80s.

Take a look at r127, r169.

Close?

Eau de Twat

Fierce by Abercrombie and Fitch. Wear it and smell like a male stripper in Puerto Vallarta.

I love that there's a fragrance called Slut.

r173, and I like this scent, Mambo by Liz Claiborne. Makes me fell like Puerto Rican rent boy.

The bottle looks like it is getting ready to get fucked in the ass.

"Puerto Rican Rent Boy" would be a great name for a cologne. It could be plugged by Ricky Martin.