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Since 1995

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Let’s be the gays bringing down the Roman Empire

I’m Platoon Caftan, signaling our surrender to the Goths by presenting hole.

by Anonymousreply 3102/23/2021

I'm drag queen Julia Seize Her.

by Anonymousreply 102/22/2021

I'm piggy bottom Cloaca Maxima

by Anonymousreply 202/22/2021

I am M. Licinius Crassus, and my taste includes both oysters and snails!

by Anonymousreply 302/22/2021

I’m Layneous Bryantus and I’ve dressed every senator’s wife in culottes!

by Anonymousreply 402/22/2021

I'm Brianus Springerus, deflowerer of boys.

by Anonymousreply 502/22/2021

I'm Melanius Knausius - I get fucked by horses during the half time show.

by Anonymousreply 602/22/2021

I’m Prius Maximus; I move slowly through the streets angering throngs of people to commit murderous acts.

by Anonymousreply 702/22/2021

I am Rolofius the Villa Flipper. I have done thirty homes in the Seven Hills area.

by Anonymousreply 802/22/2021

R2 = the scat troll

by Anonymousreply 902/22/2021

I'm Datus Loungitus, a disreputable bar, frequented by Pathicuses and and African slaves.

by Anonymousreply 1002/22/2021

I’m Rickus Dickus Snyderian and I’m the reason we’re drinking lead!

by Anonymousreply 1102/22/2021

I'm Shirley MacLaine.

by Anonymousreply 1202/22/2021

I’m Incontinentia Buttocks.

by Anonymousreply 1302/22/2021

I am Coconuttius the young bodybuilder. I will do the towel dance as I change into my toga and am late to my naked posing at the colosseum naked day festivities. My address is carved on most public bathroom sponge stick vessels.

by Anonymousreply 1402/23/2021

I’m Anna Rexia, I run the local vomitorium where much of the backroom mechanism to end the empire are carried out.

by Anonymousreply 1502/23/2021

I thought we did in the Greek Empire, not the Roman one.

by Anonymousreply 1602/23/2021

I’m freeing most of my slaves to go fight with the barbarians. Rome has become so decadent with all sorts of older men preying on younger men. Fortunately, my only remaining slave, Joel, has a good master such as I.

by Anonymousreply 1702/23/2021

I’m one of the Goths taking full advantage of these defeated decadent Romans at OP. Can’t wait to remodel their palaces with animal bones, stab their officials, and violate all their delectable strapping dusky me—I mean, women.

After a celebratory romp with my darling elder brother, that is.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1802/23/2021

I'm Messylena, tranny tramp who got her head cut off, but not the one above her shoulders.

by Anonymousreply 1902/23/2021

I'm a gay rich bastard, who had the tax collector beaten by my footmen when he came to demand I perform my civic duty! He'll go and seize some small farm or small business, and sell the owner and his family into slavery to make his quota, because there's no way anyone can make me pay my taxes or impose any legal penalty on me. Because of me and my peers, the middle class is being destroyed, and Roman society is entirely made up of the oligarch class and the slave/poor class. Just like yours today!

In this, I am no different than my straight peers.

by Anonymousreply 2002/23/2021

I'm Catullus, bitches

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo

by Anonymousreply 2102/23/2021

I’m a spelt queen - there’s just a big something about Archaemenian cage meat that has Mater’s mussy snapping like a crocodile!

by Anonymousreply 2202/23/2021

I'm Emperor Cockagobalus.

You don't actually need details, do you?

by Anonymousreply 2302/23/2021

I’m Trollus Phaulius. I’m at the baths every single time you are. I can last for hours in that steam room and block all the action if I choose to. I’ll go back and forth between the steam room and the showers all day and I’ll see this place go out of business before I’ll give you so much as a minute of peace.

by Anonymousreply 2402/23/2021

I'm one of those diaphanous maidens clad in a white toga dancing with my long, knotted ponytail swinging around my head in circles around the appreciative Goth bros. Yul Brynner and Anne Baxter had thrown me out of their Egyptian court and so I'd headed north to find my fame, fortune and some Goth peen in Rome!

by Anonymousreply 2502/23/2021

I'm the togas in this shade of green.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2602/23/2021

I'm the Roman who stayed behind for the sack of Rome... and I enjoyed every minute of it!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2702/23/2021

I'm Caecilius. I was actually an olive-oil based lube salesman who loved to purchase rough trade from "The Syrian".

by Anonymousreply 2802/23/2021

I am SpartacAss.

by Anonymousreply 2902/23/2021

Saw Ambrose in concert - it was him with a bunch of holla-back sluts doing call repeat ad nauseous. Gaul calves and huge feet were the only things worth remembering.

If you go: if anyone brings up religion, don’t say anything. Just touch your balls, your forehead, left nipple, and then your right nipple and you should be fine.

by Anonymousreply 3002/23/2021

I'm Kevin Spacius. Hide yo' sons, hide yo' husbands

by Anonymousreply 3102/23/2021
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