Were you molested as a child? If so, tell us at what age, and by whom.

I was molested.

6 yo by Catherine the Great

I was not afraid of the counselors. They had to be afraid of me- as it were. I was ALWAYS ogling the NAKED counselors in the showers at my sleep away camp in the 1970's.

9, by my stepfather.

As a teenager my doctor routinely messed with me in the exam room.

7. Moms bf.

It sucks being ugly.

My father at 13.

For those molested, I hope you found peace....

Is this a jerkoff thread by a pedo for other pedos?

More details, R5

The only answers are yes and I don’t know actually as a baby can’t recall

R11, no. It was wrong. I am still not sure what to make of it and I am not sure what impact it had on me. It definitely wasn't good, but it wasn't as traumatic as others here have experienced. Still, it shouldn't have happened. Power imbalance. Not good.

My uncle runs a summer camp for kids about to be molested.

My uncle drugged and molested me when I was 8. My parents went away for an evening and left me with him in his apt. Years later a female cousin said he had also molested her when she was a child. I was also molested by a family friend. I spent the night with him and his wife and daughters. They had a small apartment so I shared a bed with him. He climbed on top of me and to this day if guy gets on top of me during sex I freak out and push him off. I didn’t tell anyone what happened til I was in my 40s. I wish now I had gotten therapy because it fucked me up really badly.

[quote] My uncle runs a summer camp for kids about to be molested.

Intriguing.

R14 What does that mean? Is your uncle a molester who started up a camp so he can have plenty of victims to choose from?

R17: I think it was a joke. It made me laugh anyway.

I cant remember, but I had to have been........

I wasn’t, but I always wanted to be. I’m like that kid in Todd Solondz’s Happiness who’s upset that his own father never wanted to molest him, only other kids. Not that I wanted my own dad to diddle me (yuck!) but a hot older neighbor guy would’ve been nice.

You guys need to start off with whether you’re male or female.

R3, is your name Angela by any chance?

The transcript from the Happiness scene R20 references:

[quote]Out on bail, he tearfully admits to Billy that he "fucked" the boys, that he enjoyed it, and that he would do it again. When Billy asks, "Would you ever fuck me?", his father replies, "No... I'd jerk off, instead."

5, then continuously until 11.

This thread smells fishy, in more ways than one.

You shouldn’t speak of such things.

6 to 12 by my stepfather. He served 2 years in prison.

My Daddy was the best Daddy ever! He would never do anything to hurt a child! He’s not a sexual deviant like homosexuals, who do those bad things!

I was never molested. I just got life-scarring physical and emotional abuse instead.

3, by my father and his friends one night when they were drunk. And afterwards he encouraged my 5 year old brother to hit me, and would give him a sip of beer for every punch.

R29 same, hardcore emotional abuse. I would take a few diddles in exchange for the massive mental abuse. Sexual abuse gets all the attention but mental abuse is far worse because it’s constant every moment and doesn’t have to be behind closed doors. Yes, there is usually a mental abuse component to sexual abuse but I find that sex abuse victims tend be better at compartmentalizing their trauma whereas mental abuse spills over into every aspect, especially if the abuser was a talented sociopath and gasliter.

Age 4-6 by biological father. Confronted him years later after some therapy. Of course he denied. I think I was also molested by a maternal uncle, but I have no memory of it. This maternal uncle did get to my younger brother, and later wanted to have sex with me when I was in my twenties and with my partner. So weird.

The only 4 people that I know that have been molested are all republican women.

I was molested as a toddler by my grandmother's much-younger second husband. I don't remember it, but I found pictures that he took. He's dead, along with my grandmother, so I never got to confront him/them.

Yep. By two teenage brothers who came over to babysit on separate nights.

I later learned that my mother owed money to their dad (a local policeman, btw) and she agreed to let his kids “practice” on my brother and I. We were 6 and 7 years old.

This was in Ohio in the 70’s.

My dad molested me as a baby. I remember it while in my crib. Sick, huh?

I was effectively groomed as a child. I blocked out any instances of abuse from my memory but the effects still linger to this day. Never had a long lasting relationship or any affirming thoughts of sex for that matter.

My older brother but it felt more like he was experimenting as a horny teen and it only happened once. We've never mentioned it but it always feels like tension in the room. We aren't close but cordial. I suspect something happened between my brother and my father based on a reoccurring dream I've had growing up; I'm questioning if it was a dream or if I did witness something while really young. I know in my dream something happened in my brother's room so it could have been something or nothing. I prefer not to dwell on it because I don't want to be correct. My grandfather did the same thing to my aunts, not sure if he did it to my dad, so it apparently runs in the family. I will never have children so these genes can die. My brother and his wife are having fertility issues so nature really wants us to stop reproducing.

My partner was molested by his pediatrician when he was 8 or so. I understand how traumatic that can be, but he blames everything wrong in his life on that. He’s 50; it’s getting old

Like R38, an older cousin and it also felt more like a horny teenager making me do things to him. It happened off and on til Jr. High.

Age 13 by an elderly teacher who felt up me and did the same to most of my classmates. He was equal opportunity and felt up boys and girls. You couldn’t bend over a table or desk around him or he got you. We just laughed about it and referred to him As “dirty old pervert.”

Serious question. I was surprised at the number here who claim to have been molested. I'm grateful that didn't happen to me. But, I was wondering if anyone who had been attacked thought it might have been because they may have been perceived as being weak, lonely or just different from the herd? I was always the last one to be picked for sports and I was known to be artistic and more comfortable around girls than guys. But, I was a big kid (fat- then) fairly social with 'my' crowd and nobody ever laid a hand on me. I had a friend who was a beautiful coltish boy and he was molested by his piano teacher.

I'm 68 and still waiting.

R68 I think its time we take matters into our own hands.. Saddle up girlfriend- lets go find some perverts!!!

Yes, a few years ago by my uncle. And then again last week after he passed out from drinking too much.

r42 this is r38. My family acted surprised when I came out in my mid-20s but I remember so many comments from my parents about not acting gay they it had to be of at least a passing concern. They didn't dwell but it was like don't stand like that, don't like that cartoon, stop fussing in front of the mirror, why do you love shopping so much, etc....

So I was hard and excited when I had that incident with my brother, but I didn't register or I guess feel guilty until I was older and capable of understanding what happened. I was in first or second grade so it probably affected me, just like stumbling upon my brothers hard-core porn collection "hidden" within the family computer. My dad covered for him when my mom eventually found it but for a week I'd watch that stuff in the mornings in the den, before school since I was usually the last to leave the house when my bus came.

YES! And no one has paid NEARLY enough attention to my claims!

No. Though it would explain a lot about my intimacy issues if I had been!

My parents were more of the “emotional incest” types. Like, Why am I having to hear this??

The answer is....maybe?

I have fragments of memories but nothing more.

We had a next door neighbor who looked like Don Draper (this was the 70s) and I got very close to him. My own father was absent and I may have gotten confused. If it did happen I'm thinking it was him. He was kind and loving and interested in me when I visited his house, and that as you can imagine further muddies the waters of my mind.

I didn't have any feeling that violence was visited on me. But I became active at just shy of 14 and went after a lot of it on my own. I also had a lot of sex before I was 18. Something was off with that.....I'm not ashamed, it was what it was, but it started to dawn on me in more recent years that most normal teenagers don't have quite the scope of experience I did during those years. So it makes me wonder if something that happened earlier (that I either forgot, blocked out or somehow was encouraged to forget) set the stage for later.

Yes by neighbor when I was 8 or 9

All the time

R42 I think so. I was always the "smart and creative one". My cousin was actually really nice to me and defended me a lot if people picked on me but he still molested me to an extent. It wasn't like by force but I suspected he thought I was gay and would go along and not say anything. He got laid plenty in high school but continued his thing with me anyway. I think he was just always horny in those years. He would also let me hang out with him and his friends if I kept doing it too. They were older and cool jock types 3-4 years older than me so I was completely willing since I was such an awkward jr high kid at the time and it made me feel so cool. I was probably considered good looking but strange in my own age group but would get embarrassed and avoid girls if they had crushes on me. It made me feel uncomfortable. I was a very awkward teen despite not being gawky and nerdy looking.

My cousin wanted me to touch her, feel her butt and stuff. It was during a family get together at my grandparents country cabin and we were alone sleeping in the great room. I was around 8, she was maybe 11. I briefly touched then said no. That was that, never happened again.

It creeped me out but I don't think it did permanent damage.

I loved it -- every awful moment of it, I loved!

Being molested and then being asked to share details about being molested (for strangers to enjoy) is kind of twisted.

Yes, by my father. I think it started when I was around three or four and continued until I was nine or so. I blocked the memories out until I was sixteen and staying at a group home for youth. Then everything made sense. I still don't recall any specifics, my mind blocks the memories out. I've done therapy which helped. My mother is the only one in my family who believes me; they separated when I was 12. He was also a drunk and physically abusive to both my mother and I. He denies it and my brother and I have no relationship because he's convinced I'm lying. My brother is an abusive addict himself. I also have depression, anxiety and ADHD - fun!

I have terrible relationship problems that I would blame on being molested, had I been molested.

[quote] You guys need to start off with whether you’re male or female.

You are ERASING us with your strangling binarisms for gender! LITERAL VIOLENCE

i was 6 and he was nine (my brother). i have good reason to believe he was molested by our step-grandfather. pretty sure he was acting out. it was actually in court papers so it was known at the time.

My 14yr old cousin when I was 4...family did nothing about it. He got dick cancer so I'm happy

i'm sorry r60. it's taken a few decades to admit this happened. i did confront him and he never admitted it. apparently he's in a wheelchair now, was formerly a very active person (parachuting, surfing, skiing, etc.). he is apparently still alive today.

"My partner was molested by his pediatrician when he was 8 or so. I understand how traumatic that can be, but he blames everything wrong in his life on that. He’s 50; it’s getting old."

Well, he wound up with you. That has to be a result of his low self esteem. Hopefully, he'll realize it's getting old too and dump your ass.

And yes, LGBTQ youth are at a higher risk for molestation. Sexual predators always pick on the most vulnerable kids.

You tell him R62. Good job.

I wasn't molested and I am so lucky and grateful that I wasn't. I've heard so many horrific stories of the years and I really don't know how so people manage to keep going.

At the Wet and Wild water park in Orlando when I was twelve. I'm female and had just started down one of the big water slides when two older boys immediately followed. They grabbed me and rubbed their hands all over me the whole way down. Nobody appeared to have seen it and I was too afraid to tell anyone. I couldn't tell my parents, they were toxic and would have blamed me.

No man even looked at me twice as a child.

I was an altar boy for ten years and didn't even get a sniff of cock. Furious.

R65 = Question. What does a female---lesbian or straight---find appealing about a gay site like Datalounge that is geared towards GAY MEN?....i honestly just don't get it. Its like a woman at a gay bathhouse....pointless...

R68, there have always been lesbians on DL. The site was never meant to be only for men.

I was emotionally abused. Like someone else said, I always wanted to be messed with by an older man when I was a kid. As for the emotional abuse, I was groomed by a counselor at an 8 week summer music camp when I was 15. He left gifts for me on my bunkbed and then took me to concerts and church. I was his side kick. At night, I'd hang out near his cabin, wanting so badly to be with him. At the end of the summer when he had to pack up and leave, I hugged him and hugged him when tears streaming down my face. I kissed him and it's been so long but I feel like he might've slipped me tongue. I ran away in tears that he was leaving. On his drive home, we kept in touch on the phone. He gave me a key chain with his picture on it which really sounds weird to me now but I took it everywhere with me. During the school year, he sent me letters and care packages with candy, books, and DVDs. I would write him letters, sometimes twice a day. When I returned to the camp a summer later, all of the sudden, he was hanging out with another boy. Taking this boy everywhere like he did with me. I would try to invite myself to do things with them but he pretty much brushed me off and I could never say the right thing. He basically ignored me. I don't think I've ever recovered from that. But there's more to the story. About 2 months later, while I was in college (I went to college at age 17), he called and invited me to spend Thanksgiving with him. I did but he ignored me the whole time. Everything I said was stupid and he wasn't affectionate at all. Then he invited me to spend Spring Break with him and again, I said yes, but for that entire week, he treated me terribly. I mean, he took me out to nice dinners and theater but he showed no kindness to me in our interactions. I didn't know I was sexually attracted to him but I obviously wasn't getting what I wanted. Eventually, I just let him go and stopped communication with him. But that's not all. 4 years later, when I was working at a theater in St Louis (he lived in Atlanta), I convinced him to travel to see me. I knew who I was now. And I knew what I wanted. He got there and I made sure to come out of the shower naked. I seduced him. We had sex in my bed. I got him to tell me that he ignored me because he wanted me and couldn't have me. I got him to admit taking a look at my penis when I was changing clothes at camp. And then he said that this was Paris. That we'll always have Paris aka Casablanca. 2 years later, I was working in South Carolina and invited him to join me there. By this point, I had a steady boyfriend waiting for me back in NYC. So when the guy made his move on me in SC, I just wasn't into it. I didn't feel comfortable fooling around with another man while with my husband so we slept in separate beds and that was that. I told my boyfriend (now husband) about it and he said it was fine, just not to tell him. Thus began our don't ask don't tell open relationship. Nowadays, that counselor guy is a right wing nut. His posts on Facebook are disgusting. He's an awful man. Well there's the story. Like I said, emotionally abused. I feel the pain from it as I type.

R68, for this thread I’m a lesbian and you can suck my hairy clit.

I'm curious as to why the OP is more interested in the details of the actual sex abuse and not the effects.

This thread is fishy.

R72 = Yep....Someone is getting their kicks off the abuse deets...

Yes, by an older sibling. He was the oldest son and valued by my parents, I was the girly middle child and was not valued. I told them about it, they told me to stop complaining, it went on for years.

When I was out of that house and got away from those people, I did NOT look back!

I started having consensual sex with a guy one year older than me when I was eleven. It lasted four years. I might be construed as the initiator much of the time because it always happened at his house after school.

Yeah, I was a cute kid and preteen and this brought out the worst in creeps. I was 13, had been out underage drinking with some friends in the park, typical British teenage stuff. I felt sick so my friend took me back to hers and I passed out in her room, she went back out with our friends and left me alone. I woke up to her father feeling me up and telling me to keep quiet, I was still really out of it and passed out again. I have no idea exactly what he did after I passed out.

My older brother when I was about 6.

Again when I was about 12. I thought I wanted it but it was still wrong. He was 10 years older.

We had a housekeeper growing up. She would arrive early and cook my brother and I breakfast and get us ready for school, then be there after school with us until our parents got home. Occasionally her husband would come with her. On the days we didn’t have school, he would tell us to go take a nap. I remember him leading us to our shared bedroom (I was 11 and brother was 9) and he would tell us to strip down to our “panties” so we wouldn’t wrinkle our clothes while napping. I’m not sure why he called my white briefs panties, but that always stuck with me. He would sit on the edge of my bed and I told him I couldn’t fall asleep so he would gently trace circles on my chest with his finger tips to soothe me. Of course those circles got lower and lower. He would be touching me through my underwear and focus on my genitals. Of course it felt good but I thought it was weird for him to do all in the guise of me getting to sleep for my nap. When I turned 12 he was caressing that area quite attentively and I ejaculated for the first time. I had previously had some wet dreams and leakage but this time I shot hard and my “panties” were a mess. He quickly got a fresh pair and put them on me and put the soiled ones in his pocket. It never happened again. Shamefully it does still arouse me to be fondled through underwear to this day, and I have an extensive collection of underwear. I’ve never talked to my brother about this but he was always in the same room in his twin bed next to me. I have no idea if he knew, but he was two years younger so maybe he was oblivious. I once told an ex boyfriend and he dismissed me and said that it wasn’t real sexual abuse, but I know otherwise.

You know OP is a pedo and jerking off to this entire thread, right?

r51 Who?

[quote] Age 4-6 by biological father. Confronted him years later after some therapy.

This wasn’t a repressed memories deal, was it?

[quote] I started having consensual sex with a guy one year older than me when I was eleven. It lasted four years. I might be construed as the initiator much of the time because it always happened at his house after school.

Honey, you weren’t molested.

This thread is turning into that Armie Hammer Reddit where everyone is a victim and a survivor.

I wonder if I was based on childhood behavior, my fear of intimacy and my ease of casual hookups and the frequency of them.

[quote] Well, he wound up with you. That has to be a result of his low self esteem. Hopefully, he'll realize it's getting old too and dump your ass.

Honey, anyone still blaming all their problems on something that happened at 8 in their 50s and recognizes it is looking for attention. You need to take responsibility at a certain point and get your ass into therapy. You can’t blame all your fuck ups on something that happened before you were ten.

Priest in the 70s - almost cliche. Took altar boys to the seminary and a weekend cabin. In retrospect so obvious but good Catholic parents never suspected. Nothing traumatic - rubbing up against me in the seminary pool, showering together naked in the seminary locker room. I never got “invited” to the weekend cabin - but my brother did. I’ve never talked to him about it - but I assume he was abused. He is straight and I am gay. I had no problem with the “molestation” as far as I can tell.

The seminary in the 70s was perv central. Shockingly blatant pedophilia I think - lots of priest bringing boys to “see what the priesthood” is like. The vibe was a little creepy. The priest was eventually convicted 30 years later - along with a few others I knew of.

I chalk it up to the crazy 70s - the media message was sexual boundaries don’t matter anymore and that kids are sexual beings (ex Brooke Shields, Jodie Foster). I understand how more serious sexual abuse - especially by a parent - can screw you up. But I also think the current declarations of abuse between adults are overstated.

[quote] I'm curious as to why the OP is more interested in the details of the actual sex abuse and not the effects.

I find talking about the effects more interesting. For me, the first thing I noticed was that I became extremely ashamed of my body which got worse in high school since kids notice these things and tend to make fun of you if they perceive weakness. I was able to get better over the years, but never to the point where I felt really comfortable being undressed around others.

Sex would always be a huge obstacle in any relationship. There were hook ups but often I would feel used and not know why, or if I became too aggressive, would feel guilt at irrational thoughts of me turning into an abuser. I would never know which I would experience. I tried to not to let these feelings get in the way and tried to experience as much as I could and would occasionally have fun but the gay club scene where so many treat eachother like garbage made me even more cynical.

Is this a fiction/partial fiction thread?

It's pretty Nifty if you ask me...

Well, I chose “no,” but I was inappropriately touched as a teen by my friend’s housekeeper. It was not a big deal. I later learned they were fucking.

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

Not to my knowledge, but I have my suspicions otherwise. Was it really necessary I shower with my parental uncle to save water?

I don't think anything happened in my teens at the very least.

I think I was mistreated in more subtle ways and some of it may have come through being gay and out and nonchalant about it, but not extreme stuff and not sexual molestation, assault, etc.

[quote] I was in first or second grade so it probably affected me, just like stumbling upon my brothers hard-core porn collection "hidden" within the family computer.

Did you really “stumble upon” it, Clarice, or were you looking for fun?

R80 you say Nestor, I say Hector, it’s all Cuban to me.

It does R25.

But he wants to be R82. He wants to be. It gives him an edge.

I posted back at R49 - have seen a few people say "well they didn't pick me!"

Which sounds weird, but.....

I was in a youth group and while I was a member (my BFF and I were both in it for a few years) we weren't really aware of anything, but then we learned that quite a few of our fellow members (ages 14-18) had been fooling around with adult group leaders. Some had done so willingly but a few had not.

It did cross both of our minds....."why not us?" Not in a weird slutty way, but we probably both had tender, fragile self-esteem then, and your mind is kinda fucked up when you're in a closed organization like that, almost like a cult....inclusion is the biggest, shiniest prize you can win. Of course we're sane, healthy people now (yay therapy) and realize what a mindfuck it was....

I was 11 years old, he was as old as my dad. And he took something from me I didn’t even know that I had.

R98 *hug*

R72, R73, %70 - I am the OP. I never asked for any sexual details of the abuse. I merely asked who it was. As I said in my original post, I was molested at a summer camp when I was 7 or 8. Every night for entire two months that I was there. I am an elder gay now, but throughout my life I have heard from others who were also molested as a child, especially gay men and have always wondered if that abuse had anything to do with us turning out gay. I await your apology.

I spent years trying to push it to the back of my mind due to shame. I still haven't told anyone.

I was about 3 or 4 years old at the time and was staying at my grandparent's house for the day. My mom had a best friend who lived a few houses down from my grandparents and she had a daughter who was 3 years older than me. For some reason, it was decided that I'd go over to their house for a few hours to play. I was in this little girl's room and she started taking off my pants and sucking on my penis. I'm assuming she'd seen it in a movie or maybe walked in on her mother doing it and she thought this was what men and women were supposed to do. Her grandmother was looking after us and she walked in during it and I'll never forget the look on her face. She screamed at the girl and told her to put my clothes back on right away.

It was never discussed again. I have no idea if the grandmother told her daughter or if my parents were ever told about it, but it haunts me to this day. I remember feeling so much shame and disgust about it. No wonder I ended up gay.

I think it would be interesting to see how people view it. I know gay men who were aggressively sexually assaulted for years by an uncle in pre-adolescence - and they tend to be very aggressive and hostile towards any perceived crossing of boundaries and overall have issues. Generally tough MFers. Personally, mine was closer to puberty and I was already aware of my gayness - and it wasn’t a family member - and I don’t feel there were any real issues caused by it. Yes, it was an abuse of power based on age difference - but I was also craving sexual activity and any gay interaction which I could never attempt with schoolmates.

[quote] I have heard from others who were also molested as a child, especially gay men and have always wondered if that abuse had anything to do with us turning out gay. I await your apology.

I don't think the molestation causes people to be gay although that seems to be a popular perception even among victims. It happened to me right at the time I started to perceive I was different. My childhood friend were drifting away and I was in need of companionship.

Not sure if this counts but I was 8 and he was 11 and he made me suck his dick.

I was 11, he was 14. We experimented at everything. He was too big to fuck me through early on. Eventually he was able when I was about 14. I learned so much from him. Not that he knew what he was doing, but rather what we each of us liked and didn’t. I never viewed it as anything other than what is was, sex.

I’ve had great relationships since and consider myself normal and have a healthy attitude towards sex. He on the other hand was eventually arrested for sex with a minor when I was 18 and moved away to college.

For R98

Yes I was when I was 8 till I was 12 by a family friend, he was 9 years older. It did not affect me in anyway. I have been with my partner for 20 years and have never had issues with intimacy etc. I actually saw him this summer and he apologized and cried about it.