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Ghosted

A friend ghosted me after opening up about her physically abusive relationship, abusive father and health issues. Who does that? Now the bitch won’t answer her emails or text.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Friday at 11:52 AM

A friend did the same to be after coming out to me as a lesbian. Not the same thing of course but it reminded me of that. Maybe she feels uncomfortable knowing that you know and she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

by Anonymousreply 102/13/2021

She’s dead OP

by Anonymousreply 202/13/2021

Ghosting is behavior for online dating. NOT for actual human relationships. People who exercise ghosting with real friends are yellow bellied assholes.

by Anonymousreply 302/13/2021

How did you react, OP?

by Anonymousreply 402/13/2021

I would be empathetic. Give her a few days. Then sit her down for coffee and explain you feel confused and hurt.

I can tell you that she probably triggered herself and is in a state of fear. Fearful people aren't super good at figuring out what others are feeling. She must have trusted you initially to tell you.

by Anonymousreply 502/13/2021

Go to her house and talk to her. All of your "friends" are online friends, right?

by Anonymousreply 602/13/2021

R5 I appreciate the advice but haven’t heard from her in 2 months. We went from talking/texting everyday to crickets. She was supposedly in and out of hospitals due to a parasitic infection. I don’t understand ghosting someone you would confide all sorts of personal information to like that you dealt drugs to get through the pandemic.

by Anonymousreply 702/13/2021

[quote] I would be empathetic. Give her a few days. Then sit her down for coffee and explain you feel confused and hurt.

Oh OP is the one who's hurt?

OP, your friend's probably embarrassed for over sharing. Tell her it's all right, and that you hope she's fine and that you'll be there for her when she's ready.

by Anonymousreply 802/13/2021

Sounds like a BPD case. Everyone abused them

by Anonymousreply 902/13/2021

Obviously not a friend. Forget her. Move on and don’t look back.

by Anonymousreply 1002/13/2021

I had someone do this to me. She had a lot of issues. Try not to take it personally, OP. This person has problems and that’s reflected in her behavior. You may have dodged a bullet.

by Anonymousreply 1102/13/2021

This person sounds borderline. Be glad they cut you out of their life

by Anonymousreply 1202/13/2021

Ditto R12 especially if they were getting into drug dealing.

by Anonymousreply 1302/16/2021

You shouldn’t have cackled at her.

by Anonymousreply 1402/16/2021

OP and R1, in my opinion, some people ghost their friends after sharing something personal or revealing to others.

Maybe the people who shared something deeply personal with you felt vulnerable afterwards. Maybe they felt you might hurt them with what you knew about them. Maybe they felt you might judge them or look at them differently.

I ghosted a friend years ago in college after coming out to her in my senior year. I stopped communicating with her or hanging out with her. Another friend ghosted me in graduate school after telling me he was getting married but wasn't really sure he was in love with his girlfriend.

Sometimes we ghost our friends because we don't want to be hurt or judged first.

by Anonymousreply 1502/16/2021

First, she's likely embarrassed. Even though she is blameless, victims of abuse often feel something they did brought on the abuse. Secondly, sharing those intimate details makes them more real. She can't pretend everything is OK when she's around you because now you know it's not. Give her time.

by Anonymousreply 1602/16/2021

A guy I was attracted to (and stupidly told him) later told me that he'd recently tried gay sex; he made constant jokes about not getting married again until gay marriage was legal.

(This was a while ago.)

Anywho...one day he ups and ghosts me, drops me...I can only surmise he didn't want anyone around knowing he'd sucked some dick.

by Anonymousreply 1702/16/2021

Get angry and threaten her OP. She might respond then.

by Anonymousreply 1802/16/2021

Even if you managed communicating with her again she'd ghost you again. For whatever she's gone through she's unreliable so let go of your hurt(yeah I know how difficult that is) and keep her out of your life. Unless you want to go through this again.

by Anonymousreply 1902/16/2021

Life's not like movies and TV shows in which you make these great friendships.

by Anonymousreply 2002/16/2021

She’s a cunt

by Anonymousreply 2102/22/2021

OP, she may have been planning to drop you as a friend all along, and thus found you the perfect person to shares her issues with, BECAUSE she knew she'd never have to face you again.

by Anonymousreply 2202/22/2021

Issues

by Anonymousreply 2302/25/2021

I am pretty sure it is because she told you about her current abusive r'ship. Victims maintain secrecy because exposure of the abuser puts them at great risk. It would be kind of you to write to her and reassure her that you will always respect her confidences. She may or may not want to resume your friendship right now but it would give her a measure of peace.

by Anonymousreply 2402/25/2021

R24 I don’t want to give too much of her business but she was creating anonymous Twitter accounts to go after her abuser and contacting his employer

by Anonymousreply 25Last Friday at 10:07 AM

Probably regrets over sharing.

by Anonymousreply 26Last Friday at 10:08 AM

OP said she was in and out of the hospital. Maybe she’s just not up to dealing with the aftermath of the stuff she told OP. I knew someone who was chronically ill and they had a lot of issues due to neglecting or avoiding stressful conversations with insurance companies and others. They just couldn’t handle any more anxiety. She might also be embarrassed she didn’t contact OP right away and is dreading his reaction.

On the other hand, if she’s got a lot of personal problems and has bad judgment, maybe you’re better off. You might have dodged a bullet. In that case, let it go.

by Anonymousreply 27Last Friday at 10:15 AM

Forget about it and move on.

by Anonymousreply 28Last Friday at 10:19 AM

Find other friends. This person seems to demonstrate poor judgement.

by Anonymousreply 29Last Friday at 10:40 AM

She's probably done you a huge favour. Move on !

by Anonymousreply 30Last Friday at 11:52 AM
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