Constipation

Sometimes my cat does that when he has a hairball. Have you been licking yourself a lot?

Was your body giving you bowel movement signals, OP? If not, wait til it does.

that shower douche you installed is not just for bottoming.

This thread will end in shit.

Prune juice is delicious and works wonders for me. Or toast a piece of high fiber bread with some peanut butter or avocado and drink a big glass of water. Fiber, fat, and water moves things along.

get some miralax.

Don't want to bore all with details but I make sure to do a number of things to be regular on a daily basis. Monday I had a massive session on the toilet and it seem my system had enough and closed down. Skipped the last two days. Skipping a day happens but two days, that's really unusual. The oddest thing is that I'm not getting any signals that I'm going to have a movement any time soon. Eating homecooked food with my half meals vegetarian and with plenty of fiber. I have a carefully curated system that keeps me regular. It's disconcerting my lower GI just went kaput the last couple of days.

I’ll alert the media.

Miss Lindsey, you have to remove the Butt Plug

Why are you trying to poop if you don't feel the urge?

If you’re under 45 you have gonorrhea. If you’re over 45 you have recital cancer. Good luck.

Rectal. Thank you autocorrect.

R12 I prefer "recital cancer" --- I know a few people who have that.

Use a spoon...a long-handled one.

Slowly keep sipping water and walk around the house this will unclog you and eat a HIGH FIBER breakfast EVERY day- Fruit such as raspberries, blueberries, apples, bananas, on alternate days have a hot cereal such as oatmeal.

Two lesbians and two gay guys are driving to the beach on holiday in separate cars. Who gets there first? The gay guys, they packed their shit the night before.

A bowl of oatmeal every morning and cayenne powder on your food will have you shitting every day.

I went to the toilet 30 times today, lots came out.

You are very ready for some good anal play with worry for accidents!

Dissolve three capfuls of Miralax in 32 ounces of liquid. Drink this over the course of one hour. Wait 8 hours, and repeat. Another 8 hours, and do it again. Nine capfuls over a day and you will be completely cleaned out. Miralax doesn't dissolve well in cold water, so dissolve it in room temperature water and then add it to liquid of choice.

So MANY DL QUEENS on datalounge are OBSESSED with FECES.

Another miss warwicke scat thread? I thought that thing was banned from Datalounge.

Eat a pack of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears.

Take psyllium fiber.

Waitress, I need black coffee and cigarettes - Pronto!

Everyone is suggesting laxatives and dietary remedies that have been around for centuries as if OP hasn't ever heard of them.

He is a scat queen.

Yes he is a scat queen, aka, miss warwicke. All the scat baiting threads and scenarios come from that nasty piece of racist filth.

I fear my dog is constipated. Usually he poops three times before I go to work. Today? No poop at all. And now it's going to rain for several days, and he doesn't like pooping in the rain. How can I help him? I am very concerned about his poop.

I made doo doos 3 times today. One of them was about 14 inches long. A big doo doo.

DId you get lost on your way to the Underwhelming Experiences" thread, OP?

Fiber is your friend. Our foraging ancestors were mostly vegetarian and ate tons of leaves and berries daily while they looked around for some animal slow enough that they could catch, kill and eat. That's what our digestive systems are designed to process and we can't recreate it with the amount of meat and processed grains that we routinely eat. So psyllium (as the above poster mentioned), which comes in products like metamucil, is a very good solution. If you can't stand it in a glass of water, sprinkle it on your morning cereal daily, for the rest of your life. Drink lots of water, and you will not battle constipation ever again.

OP - do you follow Bobbi Adler’s bathroom rules? Always light a match after poo pee doos. It’s the law in her house.

Go to the drug store and get sugar free candy or cough drops. Eat a bunch not just one. Then batten down the hatches.

Break up that constipation with a Black Cat™ firecracker.

Don't force it. Try Metamucil or other roughage such as leafy greens, or beans, or have some prunes or prune juice.

I take magnesium every night to help me sleep and it also helps me poo every morning like clockwork.

To add to those advising not to force it, you also run the risk of creating/enlarging hemorrhoids if straining to poop.

My roids are acting up again.

That happened to my math professor once, and he told me he worked it out with a pencil.

Try two Taco Bell Burrito Supremes to induce explosive shitting.

Did you have a similar problem that resolved itself at the Bellagio about eight years ago?

Best advice mother ever gave me, “don’t push too hard, or you’re gonna end up like me.” She kept her Preparation H in and empty cool whip container.

have something you NEVER have, for breakfast.

No shit?

Stool softener.

A woman was upset, she was shitting coins. Visited the doctor, he said "You're going through the change."

Drink Kefir

Metamucil gives me the runs.

Have someone finger you. That’s what Bobby Brown used to do to relieve Whitney’s constipation.

Just fist it out, damn it.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

"I went to the toilet 10 times today, nothing came out"

You really don't know how to work a gloryhole, do you, OP?

I made lots of doo doos today! Jealous bitches?

[quote] Try two Taco Bell Burrito Supremes to induce explosive shitting.

Interesting idea. Will this work for my rescue dog?