Today is my birthday!

psycotherapy as to why you are a 30 yo virgin.

A grease fire.

Why is everything about YOU?

Happy Birthday GGG

Silly GGG. You know what we're getting you.

A new stein, OP.

It’s actually quite lovely.

Here is a turd 💩

A variety pack of different flavors of lube.

It’s my birthday too, OP. And Jennifer Aniston’s as well. Congrats to all of us

I'm getting you an oven/gas chamber combo. All the rage in Germany as you probably know.

It is my intention to make no birthday provision herein for our poster, GGG, for reasons which are well known to him.

R9 I KNOW!!! Happy Birthday to you as well! How old are you now?

Taylor Lautner's is as well. He was born one year after me. And Joseph L Mankiewicz. And Kim Stanley!

How old are you?

A casket fitting.

I am YOUNG!! R13

You’re also stingy with the WWs, seeing as how we got you gifts and everything.

You know WWs are free, right?

A gag order. No, make that a ball gag.

Today is Leontyne Price's 94th birthday.

Googles “gifts for people who lie about their identity on forums”

A painting for beginners set. An Easy-Bake Oven and a brown shirt. Just so you can be like your hero. But baby goose steps first.

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!

A pair of contacts and 8 therapy sessions to get over your eye phobia!

A gift certificate for height reduction surgery to increase your chances of attracting a top by at least 150%.

An all-expenses-paid weekend to Pensalvina.

An hour session with a Turkish top.

Happy Birthday, you virgin wanna-be slut!!

OP I know this wonderful spa ..... you simply must go !!! It's fabulous!!!!!! It's to die for !!!!!

One of those new microwaves that seats 30 people.

Cock! You want it cut or uncut?

Happy birthday, love!

I’d suck your cock to celebrate the occasion but alas, I am not there and you are not here.

Nonetheless, have a joyous and blessed birthday 😘🥳

Happy Birthday, GGG! I just snarfed down a couple of metts in your honor. Salut!

A bottle of Jean Nate and a nice blouse...

Some of the people on this thread have been so hoodwinked, even Trump’s goobers are jelly.

A copy of The Diary of a Young Girl.

Its's in the attic.

It's

Mein Herr.

I got you a douche for your rancid pussy!

Moved out of your mom’s house in Piscataway yet, ya lying sack of sauerkraut?

Maybe a month's worth of language classes in a traditional bottom's language... like Vietnamese... or Urdu.

I sn gifting you a Blue Plan Weight Watchers voucher so you can shed 200 lbs before the summer and can get the Covid vaccine without worrying about any side effects on obese people! See! Killing 2 fat birds with one stone!

Thank you for all your well-wishes! We could do a zoom birthday party?! How does that sound?

Viel Glück zum Geburtstag! I am buying you a trip to Germany. You should see it!

Alles Gute Zum Geburtstag

R40, that’s a great idea! Set up the Zoom meeting and leave the log in information and time on here! I would love to see you and speak with you in your mother tongue!

Why, I gave you my gift last night.

(That was no dream)

R43 I can give you my Mail address!

Happy birthday, OP! I'm giving you a big, smoochy wet kiss. (My partner might beat me if we went any further than that.)

A "Du schreibst Fett" bumper sticker either for your car or your giant forehead.

Happy Birthday.... I'm getting you a Venus fly trap....... or a man.

Has anyone given OP a bratwurst yet?

Either one?

R30, he may not be here, but I’m here.

Ya know, I ain’t sayin’ nothin’ I’m just sayin’.

You are all so kind!

Close your eyes and open your mouth and you’ll get a juicy birthday surprise.

[quote]We could do a zoom birthday party?! How does that sound?

About as much fun as the Nuremberg Trials.

[quote] What are you getting me?

The same cold shoulder you get from all of us any other time, fraulein.

R47 LOLOLOLOLOL

A circumcision.