Death

I got my second vaccine shot yesterday and I feel like I’m going to die now.

Death is such an uncomfortable topic and one that mainstream culture tries its best to avoid, though it is worth pondering.

It's something I would rather not think about.

I like your picture, OP. Death is a big nothingness.

But, as the late Diana Rigg said, she was terrified of the helplessness with comes in our last years.

Buddhists and Mystics of all religions suggest meditating upon death regularly, which is conducive to developing humility, gratitude, and a sober perspective on life and one’s particular circumstances.

I worry more about old age and enfeeblement than death, but in all cases, God will provide.

R6 😘

OP, apparently this is a thing -- death cafes. I only heard about them recently. Sounds morbidly interesting.

....

Watch Surviving Death on Netflix. We don’t die. Our body does.

Also, read the Book of Revelation.

R8 How interesting!

I do. I imagine it will be boring And quiet. I hope I’m surrounded by loved ones and not rotting away forgotten in some sad home.

I hope I’m not murdered. I don’t think I’ll OD.

A 5th Dimension Near Death Experience

“Into Dust” by Mazzy Star always makes me contemplate death and fills me with saudade.

I think about the deaths of some of the troll posters on DL OP. Does that count?

I worry much more about becoming disabled than about death tbh.

Do i think about the death of my loved ones? Ocsassionally

R17 That is scary.

The how doesn't matter much to me, I am more interested in the "when". I am 69 and both my parents died in their early 70's so I expect it won't be long but who knows.

R20 You just made my heart swell with compassion.

There's a trend to have death doulas to assist with the transition. I 100% believe we should treat death with the same ceremony that we do birth. Victorians took death photos of their dead with the family. Fascinating!

I really want to die in my sleep. That would be my preference.

Thank you.

I think about it all the time!

I’ve been hoping for a not-too-painful, but totally deadly cancer for the last few months. I’d want 6 months at most. I could just blow through my 401k for a few months and go out a hero to everyone. It’s my dream. Plus, I avoid the pain, messiness and potential post-mortal issues associated with doing it myself.

Of course, Ill probably end up with a super-not-deadly, but totally expensive minor cancer and it’ll just bankrupt me 😂

Loved ones, yes. How I die? I don't give a fuck. The sooner the better and with as little fuss as possible, hopefully.

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

I think about death often - just not my own. I dwell upon the ones I love being gone. This is what gives me the most pain. I want to get a gun just in case the pain is too much and that all I've lived with so far is not worth it. I don't know if I'd actually do anything, but I want the illusion that I could end things if it's appropriate enough for me. I just can't accept the finality of death. As mere humans, how can we? If there is a beyond, then I'd be thankful, I guess. But since this life on earth makes less and less sense to, I've no regret in leaving it.

"Life is a miserable interlude between two blissful states on non-existence."

I will fuck a ginger man with a taut body, the palest porcelain white skin, freckles, the reddest of naturally red hair, and beautiful blue eyes before I die. He may even be my boyfriend or husband.

I worry myself sick about it. I lost family members when I was young, so it has always been a subject big in my mind, I am terrified of something happening to my partner. I hope I die by age 70 so that I don’t end up alone. Sometimes I wish I would die now and get it over with.

Great source to read about personal NEW accounts. Death means life!

I just hope my death is painless and peaceful.

We're not gonna know anything about it, so it doesn't bother me.

Any sort of pain pre-death does though. I wanna go in my sleep or a heart attack and hit the floor.......

I pray for a heart attack. Unfortunately, virtually everyone in my family dies of cancer.

R8 what a fantastic idea.

The article cites a profound idea, that life has no meaning and no direction unless we confront death.

R28 I’m a Pagan (Brythonic recon, practising since my late teens), and this is a fundament of the faith. In Old Brittonic belief, it is said that people used to mourn a birth and celebrate a death, because when we die we return to Annwn (the Otherworld, the Summerlands, Paradise, the realm of Gods & Faeries, whatever you want to call it) to live as eternally youthful sprites until we are called back to the mortal world again. We only come to Byd (Earth) as a way to become more skilled and powerful and experienced and resilient, and in doing so better honour the Gods.

The sad sack depression 'n' suicide trolls have really been on a roll lately.

I’m terrified of suffering, but not death itself.

I'm afraid everyone who believes there is an afterlife will be very disappointed. Seriously, how many thousands of years has the human being been on Earth? If we were to go back to another body as some believe, someone would have bugged at some point. Sometimes this strange feeling of having already experienced a situation is troubling but I don't think there is anything like Paradise. I think it's a man-made so that we all have less fear. I believe that what awaits us is the great nothingness, the emptiness, nothing.

R39 I agree but they won’t be disappointed - they won’t be anything.

R40 Yes you're right

For r29: Blue eyed redheads are super rare. Blue eyes and red hair forms the rarest combo on earth. Most (natural) redheads will have brown eyes, followed by hazel or green shades.

[quote] There's always a race against time. I don't think for one moment that life gets better. How can it?

—Gloria Grahame, who didn’t give a fuck

Life has its moments, though the majority of it is such an epic grind/beat down, I'm not really afraid of *death* per se (some days, this atheist is just like seriously "TAKE ME NOW, LORD PLZ WTF", rather, as others have mentioned, the possibility of long protracted suffering and the indignity of total helplessness leading up to The Big Send Off is what frightens me. My father used to say to me when I was small that for many in these instances, death can be a friend. Of course, it is easier to be flippant about the subject online during the day, but sometimes, in the middle of the night - as with all problems in the small hours - the mere thought of it is terrifying and heart breaking in equal measure. I do believe the hope of consciousness after death is folly, though admittedly comforting. Most often, when I see that faith is all that some people have, I keep my opinion to myself, as the impulse to destroying their illusions (a.k.a. "winning the debate") in these cases can ultimately have origins in selfishness and pettiness - and watching someone's face when you *have* won the argument - and you realize how frightened they now are thanks to you, is not a pleasant feeling. (Why I am not holding my tongue today I don't know...feel like venting this morning, I guess...)

Neurology has pretty thoroughly debunked claims of near death or out-of-body experiences, as well as the Cartesian view of a "soul" being separate from the body, consciousness itself being simply a fortuitous(?) biochemical accident. The "proofs" of NDEs and OOBEs can be easily replicated in laboratory settings, merely by stimulating various areas of the brain. (For the record, other "supernatural" phenomena such as sightings of ghosts/apparitions can also be triggered by specifically targeting areas of the brain or using techniques such as infrasound. Further, the feeling of floating or flying above one's body is common during times of trauma or disassociation, and the "light at the end of the tunnel" phenomenon is commonly experienced as the visual cortex gradually advances through the phases of oxygen depletion. Other theories such as the quantum physics-adjacent "microtubules theory" of consciousness survival after death, while initially compelling, have also since been thoroughly debunked...sadly. Personally, I was kind of excited/hopeful about this one for a while.

I take some comfort in the fact that I was "unaware" - like blissful non-REM sleep - before my existence (or before achieving maturity/"Theory of Mind" if you want to split hairs) - and that I will be just as oblivious to my nonexistence.

I of course, do hope for a quick, pain-free, non-traumatic (for myself and those around me) death...although I *do* think dying during sex would be hilarious!!

Anyway, if you need to be spiritual, try zen Buddhism - you can be a cynic AND find spiritual comfort! (Works for me, haha) Other than that, just slow down, appreciate the mundane - it's all precious, and don't fear it too much. Nothing you can do about it anyway! Turn to what some of the great humorists throughout history have had to say about death - Mark Twain's writings especially have helped me to laugh about it.

It can’t come fast enough.

“The "proofs" of NDEs and OOBEs can be easily replicated in laboratory settings, merely by stimulating various areas of the brain. “

Actually, no. They had people who had experienced actual NDEs participate in the laboratory experiments and they reported the experience was not identical.

R39 What awaits us, love is the Great Light.

I think of it often. I'm not scared of death, but of painful and prolonged death or, maybe even worse, being confined to some nursing home for weeks, months, or even years before the sweet release.

I do think we go somewhere else once we're dead. I'm not sure where, but I'm almost totally positive that there's something after this.

I am sorry to see so many depressed people. Things are pure shit right now, but life can be beautiful...trees, skies, places to see, foods to eat, jokes, art...so much. However, I have suffered from depression and do know that depression colors your lens a dark color and you can't see a thing anymore. Totally get it.

R49 I was listening to this song when I read your post and it was perfect.

Funnily enough, I spoke with my two sisters about dying last week. I'm 68, girls are 62 and 75. Girls. Anyway, I live alone and I have to accept the fact that I might die that way- alone. They were kinda emotional about it, but I felt better after saying it. Truth is true.

R51 I love that you referred to them as girls [italic]and[/italic] that you caught it 😂

I think it was Ricky Gervais who said dying is like being stupid because it only affects other people. That makes it a little less scary to me.

R53 Let’s see if he feels the same when he’s in the process of dying.

I'm not at all afraid to die. I am afraid of dying painfully.

We should all have a toxin like cyanide at the ready and then pick a year somewhere in your 70's, the max being 80, where you actually choose to die. In other words you know your expiration date. You have only that long to live your best life, produce your best work, spread your best love. But then it's over. Think of what you would accomplish knowing the deadline. There is no time to waste. You celebrate the entire last week of your life and then leave peacefully at the designated time. Think about it.

R56 Nah. I prefer the Creator’s irreverent yet perfect timing.

I think about it every day; at least a few times, and usually at night before I go to bed. What if I don't wake up? I know a sleeping death is the best one. Still, is one ever really prepared? I don't want a gruesome death; I hope G*d will spare me that one. I also don't know how I'll feel if I'm the sole survivor and all my immediate family goes before me? I don't know what to wish for; being the first to go is probably easier but I don't want that either. I like to think we go back to G*d's energy but not really sure what that is going to be like. I do think there's something. The Book of Revelation is in my opinion, the babblings of a mad man and I cannot take it seriously.

R57 - you’re waiting for your parents to kill you?

R59 No, I believe in the Creator and before you make fun, your disbelief in God is just as unprovable so save me the bullshit, toots.

R19 - I remember going to see my dad in a sub-acute facility. This is why I signed a DNR and also if I get to a point of diagnosis with cancer, I will just let it go and take pills until I die. Scarier is if you have something that leaves you debilitated. For that I want to work on a document with an attorney as to what to do in any eventuality.

My mother died a few months ago and I would rather be with her instead of missing her all day. If I died in my sleep it would be a welcome relief. I am too chicken to do anything about it though. Hanging seems messy. 👀 Suffocation seems torturous. There is no easy way to get out of this life apparently.

I look forward to it. Finally - the big reveal: hereafter or oblivion? If its the latter, I won't know, so it makes no difference; the former, it's a celebration.

R6, yes. God will provide - pain, loss and death.

R64 Well, you are in hell, darlin’; what did you expect?

R60, sure thing... I guess the decades of science disproving creationism count for nothing. But hey, you do you. It’s all good.

R6 And what is the culminating theory that disproves that a Creator exists (and I’m not talking about an anthropomorphic god)?

Is it the Big Bang Theory? 😂

Yeah, you do [italic]you[/italic] as well, toots.

Toots my ass. Believe your fairytales. No one gives a shit.

R68 Honey, you believe in a “Big Bang.” Talk about fairy tales, dear.

Your version is inauthentically punctuated r26. Do it over.

R70 You recognized the reference. Wonderful! Quite frankly, it makes you seem endearing to me. The semi-colon may be a tad much, but the exclamation has been excluded.

Do you think that the punctuation of the last line of this sonnet is merely an insignificant detail? The sonnet begins with a valiant struggle with Death calling on all the forces of intellect and drama to vanquish the enemy. But it is ultimately about overcoming the seemingly insuperable barriers separating life death and eternal life. In the edition you choose, this profoundly simple meaning is sacrificed to hysterical punctuation.

And Death, Capital D, shall be no more, semi-colon. Death, Capital D comma, thou shalt die, exclamation mark!

If you go in for this sort of thing I suggest you take up Shakespeare.

Gardner's edition of the Holy Sonnets returns to the Westmoreland manuscript of 1610, not for sentimental reasons I assure you, but because Helen Gardner is a scholar.

It reads, "And death shall be no more" comma "death, thou shalt die." Nothing but a breath, a comma separates life from life everlasting.

Very simple, really. With the original punctuation restored Death is no longer something to act out on a stage with exclamation marks. It is a comma. A pause.

In this way, the uncompromising way one learns something from the poem, wouldn't you say? Life, death, soul, God, past present. Not insuperable barriers. Not semi-colons. Just a comma.

That to me was a revelation. I was in graduate school (anthropology) and needed some perspective. Wit helped me get some.

i have a recurring dream that i am at the top of an escalator. i fall forward, gashing my head open on the jagged edge of the escalator stairs until i land at the bottom of the escalator, dead.

i hope i don't die that way.

Sometimes I get this feeling that I am already dead but just don’t know it yet.

R72 I’ve never seen the play, but it is one of my favorite films/adaptations.

I wrote a letter to my fb in this computer that he will find if I die. I wanted to make sure I told him to be happy and find someone new.

Your "fb?" Your fuck buddy?

You wrote a letter "in" your "computer?" Um, okay. How is your "fb" going to find this letter "in" your computer?

R77 lmao 😂

I almost replied with your same questions but was too lazy to do so.

The reality of it is so panic-inducing. If you really think about it... Jesus.

No more going up into the man.

I panic at the idea of long illnesses or being bled dry by medical expenses. Death itself, not panicked.

We arrive, stay for awhile then depart. It's the departing that scares me - there will be no more anything. Ever. Considering all the possibilities, I have a pretty good life in general. Twists and turns, ups and downs which is part of reaching spiritual enlightenment and I hope I don't come back but I really don't want to leave either. Everyone leaves - just like in the HBO series 'Six Feet Under'.

I'll be satisfied just as long as I'm incredibly old when it happens.

Not really.

I just insist on dying before my partner because I don't want to be stuck cleaning out the basement.

I no longer have anyone I care about enough that when they die it will be wrenching and you sort of go numb. The only one I cared enough about was my grandmother and that happened years ago. I thought it would also be my mother who I loved very much but after she found out I was gay after loving me so much she turned into a vile bitch and that's being kind. I haven't talked to her in a long time and hope to never again. My father was literally a Nazi so after his death the world became a better place.

I am in my 60s and racing towards 70 so I hope it happens to me soon but is short and fast. Honestly we need to have Dr assisted suicide so people don't have the possibility of an incapacitated lonely old age in a nursing home sharing a room with a stranger. Oh boy I dread that so much. I am terrified of taking an overdose and drowning in my own vomit, throwing myself off a bridge, slicing my throat, suffocating in a plastic bag, and breaking my neck by hanging. There has to be a better way. Maybe a morphine induced death? Sometimes I honestly do hope I get cancer so I can say great it's over, no treatment just bring on the morphine and give me an overdose.

R82 Thanks for the reminder...

When I see someone being buried, I know that within 3 weeks their brain will have broken through their rotting palate and will flow out their mouth and nose.

R86 - 6FU was one of the best series on HBO at the time. I didn't have cable then and bought (and still have) each season on DVD. It's funny (not humorous) that each episode began with a death. Being younger at the time I didn't give death/dying much thought. I don't dwell on departing but I am closer to the finish line than when I started out 70 years ago. Maybe 15 years left (minus 5 years for sleeping!) doesn't leave much to look forward to although I am generally optimistic and in good health.

R88 It really was/is a brilliant series.

I know this tread has been quiet for a while but I just heard about the following poem bu Merrit Malloy. It's called Epitaph - just read it.

Epitaph - By Merrit Malloy

When I die Give what's left of me away To children And old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry, Cry for your brother Walking the street beside you. And when you need me, Put your arms Around anyone And give them What you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something, Something better Than words Or sounds.

Look for me In the people I've known Or loved, And if you cannot give me away, At least let me live on in your eyes And not your mind.

You can love me most By letting Hands touch hands, By letting bodies touch bodies, And by letting go Of children That need to be free.

Love doesn't die, People do. So, when all that's left of me Is love,

Give me away.

That’s beautiful, Icky. Thank you for sharing.

I sat by my father for a few weeks, as cancer gripped him and took him away. He was too young, but the miracles of science and the care by his nurses spared him from pain.

I held my mother’s hand as death approached. She was old and life had been hard. She had devotedly cared for my disabled brother, and the loss of him, her favourite, wounded her beyond words. As death approached, she asked me if I believed in heaven, and I lied and said I did, that those she had lost would be waiting to greet her, and that her loved ones still living would feel her presence.

I almost drowned as a child, and I remember recognising that death was close. I wasn’t afraid, and I wasn’t really in denial. I felt life leaving me, peacefully. I want it to be like that again. A conscious departure.

Death doulas? Given how incompetent most people are, I can't imagine it would be great to have some asshole "assisting" with my death. Thanks, I'll take whatever is going, hopefully a hot intern to hold my hand.

That said, I truly hope to die at 70 of an acute heart attack or stroke--no suffersing, maybe in my sleep. That's just me--I'm glad my friends and bf are in their 80s, but it's not for me.

R94 How old are you?

R70 - I am your age and fast approaching 71. The percentage of people (elderly or otherwise) that kick off in their sleep is less than 5% so it's unlikely you or most of us will die in our sleep. Natural cause death is rare but usually happens to those of advanced age or from other factors. Even though I'm approaching the finish line (in 15-20 years or so) I am grateful for each day and have become so more aware and forward in my thinking and 'what it's all about' theory. I really enjoy what each new day brings even if most are like the day before. When my number is up I want to make sure I did all I could to reach my spiritual fulfillment. Of course we all have different points of view but exploring a new point of view could open up something unexpected!

R94 - R96 was in reply to YOUR post not R70! Sorry - I may be old but I'm not done yet.

I nearly drowned as a child as well and it's one of those things I don't fear anymore. I just don't want a long, drawn out death. Make it as quick and painless as possible.

I have a portfolio with all the important papers, i.e. life insurance, whom to call (company HR), I wrote my own obituary. and my lawyer drew up my will, I also left instructions absolutely NO viewing and get it over with as soon as possible and continue on with your lives.

R97 How old is R94?

Death doesn’t scare me, it’s what comes after that scares me. My family wouldn’t bat an eye if I died tonight I can guarantee that so I’m not worried about my “loved ones”.

I also don’t want to live with a serious illness or disability. My dad had stage 4 colorectal cancer and I told my mom if I was diagnosed with any form of cancer I’ll never do treatments. Fuck that. I’d rather have a short life without radiation burns and my hair and nails falling out then a long life on all those fucking treatments.

My mom had a stroke which left her with no use of her left side. I also will never want to live with having some asshole with a bad attitude wipe my ass for the rest of my life.

So seeing both parents die has made me less scared of death. Just don’t prolong my life if it’s inevitable.

Not a bit scared. I am afraid of pain and sickness, though. If there is no afterlife, I'll never know the difference.

R100 - not my age (although upon initial reading of post) I assumed 'my' age. When R94 reaches my age I will probably be long gone!

“This is the way the rhythm moves. The fall of the year comes, then winter with its trees stripped of leaf and bud-- cold winds-ruthless in bitterness and sting. One day there is sleet and ice. In the silence of the night time, the snow falls the soundlessly. All this until at last the cold seems endless and all there is seems to be shadowy and foreboding. The earth is weary and heavy, and then something stirs - a strange new vitality pulses through everything. One can feel the pressure of some vast energy pushing - always pushing through dead branches, slumbering roots. Life surges everywhere within and without - spring has come. The day usurps the night view.

Is there any wonder that deeper than idea and concept is the insistent conviction that the night can never stay, that winter is ever moving toward the spring? Thus, when a man sees the lights go out one by one - when he sees the end of his day is marked by death - his death - he senses, rather than knows, that even the night into which he is entering will be followed by day.”

- Howard Thurman

Why should I fear death?

If I am, then death is not.

If Death is, then I am not.

Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not?

I've been dealing with Stage 4 cancer for over 4 years. I've received excellent treatments and have been symptom-free for quite a while. But I'm not responding well to treatments any longer and feel sick and tired most of the time. No pain yet but I fear that it's coming. I'm seeing a good therapist and that helps. I'm not afraid of death at all but the prospect of dying painfully is terrifying. And my husband will not take it well. Thinking about him going through it and being alone is the worst part.

I don't worry about it at all. I'm 67 and I've lived 5 years longer than my late mother. My only thought about it is that I hope it comes fast and relatively painless. I don't want to linger in infirmity.

R31 Thank you for sharing that — this is profound to someone who lives in a narcissistic Catholic, homophobic household. I truly find comfort in knowing that most likely, by modern accounts, that being gay is probably just fine. I'm young (25) and confirming what my sexuality is — seriously, it isn't easy to deal with. Of course, I'm gay, with you fine queens on here, but I just don't want to go to the land of fire and brimstone. I desire to be a good, loving person that cares about others immensely.

No, not really.

I know it’s coming. I’m OK with it.

Until then, I want to LIVE.

I never thought about death until I was diagnosed with Parkinson's, and even then not until my symptoms started getting bad and I had more and more days when the medication wasn't working. The advanced symptoms I started experiencing really affected my quality of life: frequent falling, the steady loss of routine daily things (tying shoes, buttoning clothes, shaving, eating and drinking without making a mess, cooking), the inability at times to swallow or walk or talk, and anxiety, hallucinations and other mental and emotional functions. Really scary, depressing shit.

So I got some pentobarbital and will take it when I'm certain there are no more good days left. I'll take some anti-nausea medication first to make sure I don't vomit (because the pentobarbital is bitter tasting and can make you want to vomit). Then the vial of sodium pentobarbital that will put me to sleep within 10 minutes and make my heart stop within 20-30. I'll have all of my things in order and will notify some trusted friends, who already know my plans, where I am, that it's timi, and to take care of the rest.

Now that I'm prepared I don't think about it at all. I have peace of mind knowing I don't have to worry about anything as long as I don't have a stroke or something unforeseen that leaves me too debilitated to end my life on my terms. Ending up in a nursing home depending on a minimum wage worker who hates their my and takes it out on me would be a fate worse than death.

I'm planning on killing myself sometime in the near future. It shocks people who hear this but I'm getting on in years and getting old and sick don't look appealing to me.

I'm not afraid of death itself but the impact of those left behind is concerning but they'll just have to deal with it. I've had to deal with the deaths of loved ones over the years.

My life. My choice.

I'm 69, so yes I think about it at times. But I certainly don't dwell on it. I just hope when it comes it won't be messy or overly painful. When you've seen as much death as I have you learn to be desensitized to it. The only thing I hope is that death is just an end to this phase of being before we move on to the next phase.

You were dead before you were conceived. What's there to worry about? I understand the stress of dying itself. But it's just like going to sleep and never waking up.

Death fears me. I don't fear it.

All kidding aside, if there's one thing, among many, many things that are worthy of my fear, I don't fear my death.

I fear an eternal "conscious" afterlife with no end to it.

Occasionally, I've entertained the notion that the Antinatalism Movement : "anti-natalism is the ethical view that negatively values procreation. Antinatalists argue that humans should abstain from procreation because it is morally wrong."

may have something to it.

When I take into account the endurance of time, both before two humans had sexual intercourse one morning, noon or night, (or all 3!), I was conceived, and now exist, it's humbling, but it puts everything into perspective for me, because, after my physical matter and consciousness ceases, time will go on for quadrillions upon quadrillions of years.

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow..."

Life IS painful, and my heart hopes and hurts for every human to have moments of joy and overall contentment within this absurd thing we call "life".

I've had my share of both. I'm enjoying existing now. I hope, assuming continued mental and physical capacity, to enjoy a few more decades. But then, I'll call it good.

Yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday...when I was young.

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,..."

Not to sass Shakespeare, but, Yesterday, and yesterday and yesterday..., too.

R26, your version is in authetically punctuated. NO semicolon.

I'm having a tough time with lymphoma and while the doctors are doing everything (and I'm 100% compliant), there are times I wonder how this particular diagnosis is going to end. I'm not doom-and-gloom all the time. If I do think about it, it's mostly hoping that there isn't too much pain involved and that I'm not a burden to anyone. I'd like a few years more (I'm 64).

[quote]Do you ever think about how or when loved ones will die?

I think about him every day.

Death?

You're soaking in it.

I don’t want to die ever, no way. Hopefully when I’m old, I’ll be waiting for it like a lot of the old people around me. But until then I want to live forever and I’m content with that delusion.

I hope it’s like the ending of Longtime Companion…

I have seen quite a few people die (due to my job), and I want to go the way of "pneumonia is an old man's friend". No pain, just stop breathing.

Also make yourself DNR, it is a bad way to go, painful. We have to jam in large bore needles, brake ribs. Awful. Hated those codes.

If SOMEONE didn't put the brakes in the ribs Eve would have walked away with the whole set.

Oh, dear! Runaway!

Lol break

Sadly R123 you seem to be heading towards that way. Get that DNR tattoo on your chest now!

And I don't want to be the one, R123, to have to pull all those lines out of your bloodied, weathered corpse. Why can't the nurses do that?