EAT ASS, SUCK A DICK, AND SELL DRUGS
Let’s speculate further as to the reasons for John Mulaney’s drug and alcohol problems.
Gay and closeted?
Freakishly cold and unfeeling parents?
Abused by an authority figure? (His comedy includes a startling number of references to dangerous situations he was in as a child.)
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 27, 2021 9:55 AM
|
He probably hates himself because his eyes are too far apart and he looks weird.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | February 6, 2021 3:11 PM
|
He's Irish, it's in the genes.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | February 6, 2021 3:11 PM
|
R2, are you referring to tinymeat embarrassment?
by Anonymous | reply 3 | February 6, 2021 3:13 PM
|
Well let's see, OP, he's Irish, he's a comedian, he's an admitted neurotic... yep, sure is a mystery. Couldn't fathom why someone like him would turn to drugs or alcohol. So unusual, so unheard of. I just can't figure it out.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | February 6, 2021 3:19 PM
|
He really does seem gay adjacent.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | February 6, 2021 3:29 PM
|
He's mentioned issues with his father and being born 75% gay in his stand up. I'm more thinking the 75% gay part is a closet mechanism with the logic that most homophobes are actually closet cases, so if I mention gay, that would deflect the fact that I'm hiding something.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | February 6, 2021 3:32 PM
|
A neurotic, Irish-descent, standup comedian with substance abuse issues?
Well, I never in all my life!
by Anonymous | reply 7 | February 6, 2021 3:46 PM
|
He seems perfectly normal to me!
by Anonymous | reply 8 | February 6, 2021 4:02 PM
|
He’s very sexy. I wish I could help him.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | February 6, 2021 4:04 PM
|
I've always liked him and wish him well.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | February 6, 2021 8:21 PM
|
I didn’t care for his act at first. Seemed very sheltered, fey, Catholic millennial boy-man.
After re-watching, his stand up does have a bit of an edge. I’m liking him a lot more.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | February 6, 2021 9:19 PM
|
Are people still closeted these days? It’s just so weird to think about.
He’s from an educated, upper-middle-class, somewhat politically progressive (mom) family.
He’s in show business, for fucks sake!
Why would he be closeted?
by Anonymous | reply 12 | February 6, 2021 9:32 PM
|
He's a typical self destructive comedian. Not really that different than what most comic do to themselves. He has an innocent white bread face so it only seems out of character.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | February 6, 2021 9:35 PM
|
Yes, it’s a known phenomenon. But why? There’s always a reason.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | February 6, 2021 9:42 PM
|
Aren't most (if not all) comedians pretty much nutcases hiding a lifetime of misery?
by Anonymous | reply 15 | February 6, 2021 9:43 PM
|
Can anyone explain why he has a show called ‘Kid Gorgeous’? He’s... not that gorgeous?
by Anonymous | reply 16 | February 6, 2021 10:38 PM
|
Sixty days?
How nice for him.
He's made too many jokes about being gay in every way but sexuality. That's bottom talk!
by Anonymous | reply 17 | February 6, 2021 11:56 PM
|
Maybe he’s the type of addict who started early and is hooked. The rich kid substance abuser. Lots of money, lots of unsupervised time in big houses with only the maids watching them. It feels like he started experimenting with drugs and alcohol really early and periodically his addiction gets away from him.
See also: kids who went to Crossroads.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | February 7, 2021 12:43 AM
|
This guy is not straight.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 19 | February 7, 2021 12:48 AM
|
Will he be fat when he gets out of rehab?
Discontinuing coke could really stall his metabolism, and he's almost 40.
I don't think I'd like him fat.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | February 7, 2021 2:09 AM
|
r12 unless you want to work on a cruise ship, which I think only applies to lesbians and cruises for the over 50 crowd, you're even more typecasted now and reduced to 'safe' totally pc comedy. . . lest you get the full rage of glaad. frankly even if you're trying to appeal to the glaad types, you're better off being str8 and playing a gay role or saying you might consider snogging someone of the same sex, no homo.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | February 7, 2021 2:18 AM
|
He's so skinny though. Does he use cocaine too?
by Anonymous | reply 22 | February 10, 2021 3:29 PM
|
I think he's great! I wish him success in getting it together.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | February 10, 2021 4:03 PM
|
I’ve been watching his comedy specials.
He went from looking like a naive 12-year-old in 2012 (“New in Town”) to looking like a bitter old queen in 2018 (“Kid Gorgeous.”) Even his mannerisms are totally different.
He doesn’t even look like the same person. I think he’s probably been on something for a while. You don’t usually see physical changes like that unless substances are involved.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | February 22, 2021 11:31 AM
|
Gay Irish Catholic. That's all you need to know. John Mulaney is not unique. He's not even unusual. We've all met them. The idiot is just trying to publicly get away with it. And that never works well.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | February 22, 2021 11:36 AM
|
So is Mulaney out of rehab yet?
FREE JOHN MULANEY!!!
by Anonymous | reply 27 | February 23, 2021 2:40 AM
|
R16, it's a Simpsons reference.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 29 | February 23, 2021 3:12 PM
|
Hope John is recovering well.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | February 27, 2021 1:41 PM
|
[quote]EAT ASS, SUCK A DICK, AND SELL DRUGS
WTF does this stupid headline have to do with John Mulaney?
by Anonymous | reply 31 | February 27, 2021 2:23 PM
|
Nothing. Anyone who says something like "going down on a rockin' twink" is NOT gay at ALL.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | February 27, 2021 3:11 PM
|
I hope he gets his demons under control. After all, he's the new Kevin Nealon.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | February 27, 2021 3:14 PM
|
It's the punchline to a joke of his R31, but I kind of feel like you know that already.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | February 27, 2021 3:14 PM
|
I know that, I'm just spelling it out for people who aren't aware of how gay sex/subculture works who think thay would actually be some kind of indicator that he does suck dick.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | February 27, 2021 3:18 PM
|
[quote]EAT ASS, SUCK A DICK, AND SELL DRUGS
Change "sell drugs" to "gulping drinky poos", then you have me.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | February 27, 2021 4:18 PM
|
Eat Ass, Suck Dick, Sell Drugs” the gay sequel to “Eat, Pray, Love”.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | February 27, 2021 4:22 PM
|
More cute and adorable, than hot.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 39 | February 27, 2021 4:25 PM
|
Where will I find the "EAT ASS, SUCK A DICK, AND SELL DRUGS" video?
by Anonymous | reply 40 | February 27, 2021 4:27 PM
|
It's in "The Comeback Kid" special but I couldn't tell you the timestamp. The audio is here but there's no video on YouTube, best I can tell.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 41 | February 27, 2021 4:31 PM
|
Colbert is uncharacteristically cold and standoffish when Mulaney is on his show. What’s the deal with that?
by Anonymous | reply 42 | February 28, 2021 8:41 PM
|
R42 Catholic competition.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | February 28, 2021 8:58 PM
|
R41, it was somewhere around 47:00. He's quoting a crazy person he walked past outside Penn Station.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | February 28, 2021 10:41 PM
|
I hear he's out! (Rehab. Not closet. ) Hasn't shown up on my Zoom AA meetings yet.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | April 3, 2021 5:52 AM
|
Is his wife divorcing him or did she wait for him to finish rehab and is standing by the drunk?
by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 3, 2021 6:01 AM
|
I'm going to travel around to multiple Zoom AA meetings now, especially those connected to Upper East Side meetings, to see if I can find him. (This is probably not good for my sobriety given my motivation here.)
by Anonymous | reply 48 | April 3, 2021 7:52 AM
|
Doesn’t he live in LA now?
by Anonymous | reply 49 | April 11, 2021 10:39 AM
|
Any John sightings, hoors?
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 27, 2021 9:55 AM
|