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I don't care anymore

No, not the Phil Collins song.

I had a very traumatic experience about 5 years ago. Since then, I don't care about things that I used to. I'm kind of just existing through life to get through each day with neither highs nor lows.

I'd rather not be medicated. I think I have PTSD. What do I do to start caring again?

by Anonymousreply 43March 15, 2021 5:28 PM

What was the traumatic experience?

by Anonymousreply 1February 6, 2021 5:18 AM

R1 Lost my apartment/boyfriend/clean criminal record.

by Anonymousreply 2February 6, 2021 5:20 AM

Take the meds!

by Anonymousreply 3February 6, 2021 5:22 AM

is that all? wouldn't call it traumatic

by Anonymousreply 4February 6, 2021 5:22 AM

R4 I don't go thru boyfriends every five minutes like most of you.

by Anonymousreply 5February 6, 2021 5:27 AM

You “lost your clean criminal record?” At the same time that you lost your apartment and your boyfriend?

Let me guess, drugs?

by Anonymousreply 6February 6, 2021 5:28 AM

R6 Domestic disturbance caused by my alcohol abuse.

by Anonymousreply 7February 6, 2021 5:29 AM

A TRAUMA is something like a near death experience or a sexual assault, a BREAKUP is a normal thing all adults go through. Hopefully I've cleared that up for you.

by Anonymousreply 8February 6, 2021 5:30 AM

Do you still drink?

by Anonymousreply 9February 6, 2021 5:31 AM

I understand, OP. Are you getting any help?

by Anonymousreply 10February 6, 2021 5:31 AM

R9 I am sober for over 1 year.

Aw, thanks sweetie, R10. I haven't gone to therapy, but thinking about it.

by Anonymousreply 11February 6, 2021 5:32 AM

Sober for over a year is HUGE. Well done - especially when you're not feeling great and feeling pretty traumatized. Well fucking DONE.

by Anonymousreply 12February 6, 2021 5:34 AM

Therapy is good if you get the right therapist. You might have to wade through a few stinkers but stick with it. They can be so helpful. Sometimes they hold a mirror up and really let you get a good look at yourself.

by Anonymousreply 13February 6, 2021 5:38 AM

You can do this, honey. You will find love again. Just keep away from the booze, so you can keep your heart open. Therapy, AA, meditation, prayer, whatever works for you...just keep on keeping on.

by Anonymousreply 14February 6, 2021 5:38 AM

Thanks, R12. You're so sweet :)

by Anonymousreply 15February 6, 2021 5:38 AM

Thanks R14. Gonna try to be a little more open minded :)

by Anonymousreply 16February 6, 2021 5:39 AM

Sometimes existing is OK. We are so addicted to highs and lows. Maybe you are content or maybe your depressed. If you are letting your looks go or not being healthy, then it's a problem.

by Anonymousreply 17February 6, 2021 6:50 AM

Therapy definitely. You have to discuss and almost relive the trauma with the guided help of a professional in order to heal.

by Anonymousreply 18February 6, 2021 6:58 AM

I feel bad for you. I hope 2021 is soon better for you!

As mentioned above, maybe just existing day to day, for now, is okay. Maybe when the vaccines are completed, you'll suddenly look forward to more meaning while travelling and having fun, and going to festivals, concerts, lectures, museuns, tours, sporting events and apple picking, and....!!!

See? Lots to anticipate for you and all of us!

by Anonymousreply 19February 6, 2021 7:08 AM

Go to therapy, get a proper diagnosis, and then start to seriously work on your issues. If it is PTSD, there are good ways to treat it. Same goes for many other disorders.

The important point, however, is: Never solely rely on medication to solve your problems. Many disorders should be tackled by a combination of appropriate medication (if necessary at all) and cognitive-behavioral therapy.

by Anonymousreply 20February 6, 2021 7:20 AM

[quote]I had a very traumatic experience about 5 years ago.

Does this explain your fixation on the year 2015?

by Anonymousreply 21February 6, 2021 7:33 AM

OP - I feel you. I don't know how old you are but I am assuming maybe like me, in my 40s. When my partner died of cancer, I was still in my early 30s and could care. But I also let myself go at the time. What helped me? A mental image of what I wanted to be. So I took the money he left me, paid off my college debts and went to a gym where I found the right niche for getting in shape, re-established a far closer relationship with my sister because she had the depth to understand me, started looking at goals regarding fitness and just stopped drinking.

Now I am back to square one. No hookups, no chance of relationship (I am keeping my severely asthmatic ass in the house until the vaccine), kind of letting myself go and drinking again. However, I invested in a new iPhone 12 Pro, paired it with my watch, and started speed walking late at night (nobody around), and am cooking with my roommate at least once a week as she forces me. It's slow, you fail, it's hard to enjoy...you need a laugh, a human connection (maybe even online or on the phone).

by Anonymousreply 22February 6, 2021 8:11 AM

Stop bumpbitching and maybe we'll care, Defuncto.

by Anonymousreply 23February 6, 2021 10:23 AM

Meds for [bold]WHAT[/bold] R3 you fucking loon? You don't even know what OP's situation is!

[bold]"Hi. I'll have the meds for "not caring" enough! That'll fix EVERYTHING! Thanks very much!"...[/bold]

by Anonymousreply 24February 6, 2021 10:29 AM

Idiots falling for Defacto's bullshit.

He HAPPILY voted for Trump.

by Anonymousreply 25February 6, 2021 11:51 PM

i'm going through trauma too, OP. I hope you start feeling better

by Anonymousreply 26February 7, 2021 12:04 AM

Maybe you'd feel better if you stopped surrounding yourself with degenerate Trumpers Defacto.

Seriously not harping on you, brother. I dated one guy who was negative all the time. He never had a good word to say about anyone unless he was feeling some sort of schadenfreude. I had to drink to endure being around him or listening to his blather.

After I dumped him and moved on, I attracted a better, happier group of people because I was a better version of myself. I stopped drinking and started running. Dated guys who were fun, funny and positive.

Look, guy. Think about it. What you have been doing is not working. Change it up!

by Anonymousreply 27February 7, 2021 12:18 AM

R27 Fair point. I do think politics make me miserable. It's so hard to tune them out nowadays.

by Anonymousreply 28February 7, 2021 1:38 AM

It is, I agree. Hopefully once we're all stuck at home less we'll be able to concentrate on other things. In the meantime, take some time away from the negativity for your mental health.

by Anonymousreply 29February 7, 2021 2:18 AM

R26 what happened to you, hon?

by Anonymousreply 30February 13, 2021 3:24 AM

Well, OP, suicide is painless.

by Anonymousreply 31February 13, 2021 3:29 AM

I've tried suicide. Let me assure you it is not painless. It is one of the most harrowing things you can imagine. OP go for the medication. It will keep you going until you get killed off.

by Anonymousreply 32February 13, 2021 3:38 AM

I’m not even close to suicidal. That’s almost the bad part. It’s almost like you have to care somewhat to get worked up enough to be suicidal. I can’t imagine being that worked up.

by Anonymousreply 33March 2, 2021 8:59 PM

Get a pet.

by Anonymousreply 34March 2, 2021 9:01 PM

Caring is often over-rated. Why don't you live you life and wait for something to care about. It will show up when you are ready.

by Anonymousreply 35March 2, 2021 9:05 PM

Accept accept accept. Be grateful for the day. It will end soon enough. I,aging you get diagnosed with terminal cancer tomorrow - what would you do?

by Anonymousreply 36March 3, 2021 1:42 AM

I was traumatized for three or four years after an incident where I hit bottom. The only 'good' thing was getting in touch, emotionally, with the original childhood trauma. I'm just guessing, OP, but maybe you wouldn't have drunk if there wasn't something in your childhood you wanted to suppress. If you can get a good trauma-processing therapist who doesn't drug people, that might help. I didn't have one, I just gradually felt a little better each day and then I got a job I like, which made the biggest difference. Good luck to you. You deserve to enjoy living and your survival instinct want you to, too!

by Anonymousreply 37March 3, 2021 1:51 AM

R37 Awww, thanks sweetie.

by Anonymousreply 38March 15, 2021 12:24 AM

Wonder if you might have waking depression, OP?

FWIW I suspect I might. I don’t know if this counts as ‘trauma’ by the DL metric, but I was given untested and dangerous meds by a shitty doctor when I was a teen, and they made me suicidally crazy and depressed (they did a documentary on the drug years later, apparently it was misprescribed to hundreds of kids with horrible results). I got off the pills pretty quick and recovered, ostensibly, but tbh I’ve never really been the same since. It’s like I lost all my confidence and my energy on a permanent basis, somehow, and I struggle to sustain joy as motivation. I can feel fleeting moments of pleasure and fulfilment, but never more than that, before I return quickly to the default state of apathetic existence. I also don’t have any social or sexual drive, which given my still-young age should be more alarming than I’m treating it. I don’t know. Once you go the the brink of despair, maybe you never get back? I like to think—I hope—that isn’t true, but so far my experience confirms it.

Sorry I can’t suggest anything helpful. I sympathise, OP, and I wish we could both find a way out of this soon.

by Anonymousreply 39March 15, 2021 12:55 AM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 40March 15, 2021 12:57 AM

^^I forgot to mention that my sense of ennui has been ongoing for about twelve years, and that therapy and meds haven’t helped (diet and exercise did a little, but didn’t cure it). I feel as if I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel like normal people do.

Anyway, as I said, let’s fight this OP!

by Anonymousreply 41March 15, 2021 12:58 AM

[quote]an incident where I hit bottom

You tops are too much. It's not enough to just fuck us and leave without kissing, thank you, etc., huh? You got be rough with us, too.

by Anonymousreply 42March 15, 2021 5:18 PM

R39 I felt this post so much. It helps to know I’m not the only one experiencing this.

by Anonymousreply 43March 15, 2021 5:28 PM
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