Tell me all about Malibu

Yes - as is almost every coastal community in SoCal. Boring and isolated in my opinion.

Most homes in Malibu are not on the beach, and it's surprisingly provincial. It's a small town and feels like it.

Malibu is surprisingly folksy and non-inclusive. The cops are total assholes and will pull anyone over they don't like. It's for the rich and also for the eccentric.

Some of the more famous homes are surprisingly small.

There’s a trailer park somewhere up there. Mini Driver lived in one. The mobile homes were very nice and over a million though.

YES it's for the rich so DON'T FUCKING COME HERE YOU STUPID BROKE UGLY FAT CUNT. You smell like SHIT and your teeth are yellow.

Remember, no one owns the beach in California, and many properties must provide right away to it.

It’s a 4lane highway with houses along one side. And then a beach on the other side. It’s not that special. Topanga is great tho.

The Grace & Frankie beach house is located there, although it's supposed to take place in San Diego.

R7 nobody should ever own a beach.

I really liked Duke’s as visit once fun vacation restaurant. Then there like this sea food shack at the base where some of the best hikes leave from that’s so perfect for fish tacos after you’ve been trekking.

Of course the main reason to go is for the Getty Villa.

I hate Malibu. The beaches are just okay (I do love Matador), it's soooo fucking far from LA proper, and there's nothing really out there except Pepperdine and one big strip mall (the one where Britney Spears and others get their Starbucks).

It's not for me.

There are people living in Malibu who aren't wealthy, but they moved there in the '60s and '70s. Unless you've figured out time travel, you're going to need $$$$$.

The "Malibu Country Mart" has a lululemon and a Mr. Chow.

Malibu was a different place until the mid 90s when McMansions arrived, the old school Malibu celebrities moved out and the Kardashian types moved in. It’s tacky and Persian now.

If you like tidepools, Leo Carrillo State Beach is a lovely place to see starfish, sea urchin, anemone.

[quote] many properties must provide right away to it.

It's RIGHT OF WAY, you fat whore!

This is one of my favorite hikes there to the ruins of once a prominent mid century modern ranch by Paul R. Williams.

Wasn't Yolanda and David Foster's gorgeous property in Malibu?

It's a pain and the ass to get to, although I agree with the poster above about Matador.

The last time we went there, it took 2 hours in stop and go traffic to get back to West Hollywood.

Admittedly, I used to brave the drive down Sunset Blvd when I was going to UCLA to hook up with some kid there. Vividly remember the sound of the waves in the background. To be young and horny and stupid again.

Only the Colony matters.

And the colonoscopy.

Many years ago I had to deliver something to Carroll O’Connor‘s house on Broad Beach Road in Malibu. His wife answered the door. I glanced behind her & I noticed the sun was setting through the back window. It was so striking! She invited me in for a few minutes to watch the sunset. I now know why people love living out there! Imagine watching a glorious sunset every evening! I thought that was a nice gesture.

Broad Beach is lovely, has a public access entrance, and many houses there have easements, meaning you can sit further than the high tide line. However, Broad Beach residents hire off-duty Malibu sheriffs who treat you like dirt if you do try to use the beach.

The houses right on the beach are too close together, to close to the road, and will be in the middle of the ocean in the next few years.

R12 The Getty Villa is actually in Pacific Palisades (which is part of Los Angeles).

It's falling into the ocean.

It is shocking to look at photos from say 20 years ago and today. The ocean used to be way far away from the homes. Now it is like in the backdoor.

"It's a pain and the ass to get to"

Oh, dear!

[quote] The ocean used to be way far away from the homes. Now it is like in the backdoor.

R27, realtors are surely spinning this as a sort of luxury upgrade -- house comes with 'your own free infinity pool right outside your patio door!'

There’s a fabulous subterranean mall there!

I went to Malibu a long time ago. Zuma beach was a nice beach, for southern CA.

$65,000,000 will get you some yard, some breathing room from rising sea levels, and an interior like a Neiman Marcus.

Malibu has long resisted a public sewer system. The houses have septic tanks. The lack of a city sewer keeps big chain stores away, aside from Starbucks and McDonalds.

The house in OP's listing used to belong to Barry Williams from "The Brady Bunch" and his brother(s). They inherited it from their parents who actually built the house back in 1972, and they're the ones who sold it two years ago.

From the Architectural Digest article:

[quote] Incidentally, the home was built in a midcentury architectural style that mirrors the groovy aesthetic that characterized the fictional Brady home.

If you have one of those homes, is it just a constant parade of people walking by your deck all day?

R35 You'll see the Malibu Colony referred to as a private, gate-guarded beach, but I believe there are still ways to get through at low tide, and it's my understanding that as long as one respects the high-tide line on the beach, then there's not much anyone can do about walking along this strip. - jmho

Nice drone view of the strip of beach from the home's listing in 2019.

The best of MTV Cribs, Pam Anderson's old beach house in The Colony. I believe she still lives on this street, but not on the water anymore.

If you'd like to learn how Malibu became Malibu, here's the book to read:

My home in Malibu is in a great location and right on the beach, but I really hate how one side of it is completely open to the outdoors so I only spend a few days in summer there. Plus my roommates are cunts!

"There’s a trailer park somewhere up there"

There's a couple, I stumbled across one when I was driving around gawking. Green and full of trees, with great big luxury mobile homes widely spaced, tucked into a canyon with a forested hill above. Very nice, I'd live there if I could afford it, and I liked Malibu.

I don't, the only parts I like are the lagoon and the pier, where I've been birding. For the rest, well, I've driven through on the way from LA to Santa Barbara, and there are zero traveler's amenities or attractions through most of it. The beaches are deliberately inaccessible, there are no parks, and if you want something to eat... well, I once tried to get lunch for the road there, and literally the only place I could get a takeaway lunch in Malibu was an overpriced deli at the Country Mart. I don't think I've ever seen a place so hostile to public life.

Is Malibu the Fire Island of LA?

Courtney Love on Pam Anderson's Malibu residence & finances in general:

[quote] "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove, which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu," said Love about the former Bay Watch star, reported 'New York Post'.

R7 - but they put up all of these fake signs to scare people away. And they put false 'no parking' signs to prevent people from accessing the beach.

R1, R3, R8 and R12 are dead on. When my late partner was alive, just visiting one of the heart surgeons there at his home was boring as hell. Most of the time you get the June gloom. It is small and provincial...Wonder Bread with a load of money and restaurants which are all about the name. The water is cold and rocky. We would drive on PCH until we got bored to tears. We stayed at this doctor's house a few times, cold at night and dull. It's ok when the extreme heat hits but for the rest of the time, isolated. The Getty is all that is worth the time of day and the Adamson House. Finally, if James and I felt like a quick weekend getaway, we would just rent a room at Casa Del Mar in Santa Monica. At least it's in an actual city with better dining options and nightlife. Those were the days.

Ah yes, r43. I remember that.

A skanky homeless looking Jan Michael Vincent cruised me and a pal in the parking lot the Malibu Country Mart. After circling us for a bit he approached us and asked it we could give him money for beer. My friend said sure if he could get a picture with him. JMV freaked out and started yelling " Fuck You Faggots". Sortie précipitée.

R41 it’s designed that way on purpose. It’s a nice place to get away from the hustle and bustle of LA. Who wants to be around people all the freaking time? As I get older I appreciate Malibu more and more. Plus it’s good for celebrities because it’s so boring and nobody gives a fuck if you are a celebrity.

It takes forever to drive through it on the PCH.

I only date guys that look like David Bowie and live in the Colony.

I've invested in developments of the burned area. They now require fire-proof houses and have installed different watering systems to ensure the fires from 2-3 years ago won't happen again.

It's expensive, but it will be worth it.

I'm bullish on the area - particularly where I invested - just above the high school and Malibu swim center.

The water sure looks close to the house's deck in OP's link. Must be a problem with erosion.

[quote]Is Malibu the Fire Island of LA?

The most expensive houses in Malibu are $30 million and up. I'm positive the most expensive houses in the Fire Island Pines are nowhere close to that.

Short answer - yes OP.

Long answer - yes only for the very rich OP.

"[R41] it’s designed that way on purpose. It’s a nice place to get away from the hustle and bustle of LA. Who wants to be around people all the freaking time? "

Oh yeah! It's designed to keep the likes of US from wanting to spend any time there, or finding anything to do if we trespass on their hallowed ground! No amenities and hardly any restaurants, because it's designed for people who have everything they need at home.

Even if I could afford it I'd never live there, because I like going out and Malibu is designed for staying home, because everyone who can afford to live there has all the luxuries they could ever want in their home. No need for restaurants if you have a cook, no need to worry about how far it is to the nearest grocery store if you don't have to drive there, no need for parks if you have a lovely estate. No, the only need is to keep people like us from spoiling things by being around.

There's not a whole lot on that Malibu stretch of PCH except for 'upscale' liquor stores, a seafood restaurant or two, and boutiques specializing in flowy long dresses for artsy Frankie Bergstein-type older ladies.

Some of those homes look like a good strong ocean current could tumble down, being on stilts. You can see the tides reach underneath.

Did you know that during a big storm, the tide can punch through the floor of buildings built on stilts over the beach? Yeah, a good storm surge can bring the waves right under the house and give it a good hard slam from underneath. A sufficiently large surge could destabilize the whole house and shove it back onto the highway, but a slightly smaller surge can just burst through the floorboards and leave you with flooded rooms and a hole in the floor.

Not that anyone who lives there worries about such things, they can afford new floors and new carpets, and they have other houses to stay in.

Wow r59. I guess if you have the money to rebuild because you really love it there, more power to you. I couldn't do that, as beautiful as the beach and sunsets are. I don't have that kind of money and if I did, it wouldn't be worth it for me. It's like with the wildfires, people just rebuild....but, a lot of people will leave. Crazy..

Yes, true...these people have other homes, too. They have a place to live, when problems arise.

It seems like it would be fun to stay for the weekend, but day in and day out? Yeah, it would get boring after a while since there are a limited number of things to do.

Bob Vila did a whole season on the renovation of a Malibu stilt house.

They have to drill down to "bedrock". Malibu's version of bedrock is clay beneath the sand.

Like all of LA - nice but so insanely overpriced. Must have been nice in the 70s.

Very interesting R63. Thank you.

A friend in college drove an old Chevy Malibu.

We called it his "Mali-booboo."

I couldn't deal with the septic tank situation. That's a deal breaker.

Home of Cher!

No, Rose, anyone can live there. Just show up in your old Tercel towing a UHaul. Present your SNAP card and Section 8 housing voucher and you'll have an oceanfront abode by sundown. You don't even need to press your caftan.

[quote]everyone who can afford to live there has all the luxuries they could ever want in their home.

What about when you get a craving for COCK?

R70 You either have one or more guys stashed in the guest house, or you send your personal assistant into Santa Monica to pick up the guy you ordered from the escort service (or gay porn studio), or you can always host an evening pool party with 25 of your closest male friends and tell each of them to bring someone as hot as they are.

R13 = Debbie Jellinsky

R66, I had a Laguna, which was the hatchback Malibu. It was seafoam green.

Didn’t someone on DL say that the inside of the homes feel gross from all of the misty saltwater breeze (or something along those lines)?

R74, wouldn't that be any beach-house community though?

I lived on a beach for a few years (Florida, not southern California). It was beautiful, and I loved the sea, but.

Anything metal that you own will corrode and rust incredibly quickly due to the constant salt spray. Including your car.

Your car will never not have seagull poop on it.

Insurance is insanely high due to increased danger of inclement weather.

All in all, I'd say if you can live on the beach while young (and especially if you rent rather than own), do it. I'm glad I did, but even more glad that I'm no longer doing it. Because it's high-cost and high-maintenance.

Oh, I forgot to mention the sand. You'll need to sweep out your place every day. I'm not sure how the sand gets inside, but it does.

Honi soit qui Malibu!

The hills above Malibu are lovely . . . secluded and rustic. . . but living by the coast and ocean there isn't so great. It's often foggy and chilly and the "May gray/June gloom" can be depressing. There are nicer coastal areas in California other than Malibu . . e.g. Laguna, La Jolla, Del Mar, Carmel.

[quote]Didn’t someone on DL say that the inside of the homes feel gross from all of the misty saltwater breeze (or something along those lines)?

I wonder if it has that effect on Cher's pussy?

That's how it is kept so fresh and fragrant, r80.

I remember thinking that all the tightly squished together home's of varying neutral colors and building materials kinda looked like Trenchtown

[quote] l the tightly squished together home's of varying neutral colors and building materials

You just described a lot of LA.

I lived in Malibu for a year and loved it. I was in a small apartment building across PCH from David Geffen. The public entrance to the beach there is actually a door attached to his house. I heard he fought against it. I don’t think many people know about it though. I believe Cher’s house was on the hill behind me. That’s what I was told. I could see it from my shower. Yes, it’s very much like a small town. Of celebrities. I saw Reggie Miller at the grocery store. I think my husband saw Dick Van Dyke there too. But let’s get to why I liked living there. There’s a reason all the billionaires want houses on the beach. It’s fucking beautiful. The coast runs east to west not north to sound like you’d think. And the air smells great. What I loved about living there was the drive home on PCH at night and then getting out of my car and breathing in the coastal air. The best part was listening to the ocean as I fall asleep. We also had a fireplace which I had never had before and I loved. I’ve lived in NYC, Oregon, Washington, Michigan, and all over California. Malibu was my favorite. It’d be nice to retire there.

R11- it’s called the Reel Inn.

R84 Geffen sold that house about four years ago. At the time, it was reported to be a private, off-market sale (for $85 million!), so who was going to live there wasn't known.

I live in the 'Bu with Mom and Dad. I swear, I can smell cookies on that coastal breeze!

It's lovely, I had a mother who lived there once.

[quote]and the Kardashian types moved in. It’s tacky and Persian now.

Then wouldn't that be Armenian now?

r41- I don't know how far down you drive, but I've gone to this place with my friends after surf sessions. Excellent food and takeaway:

[quote] I had a mother who lived there once.

How many mothers have you had, R88?

Former Malibu resident here. Lots of plastic surgery gone wrong . They come here to hide out. My neighbor, Barbara Hershey , looked like a severe burn victim. Malibu is very isolating and lonely. It’s great place for a second home. The years around beauty and weather can’t be best. Pushing out my kayak from my home every day and seeing dolphins , seals, otters, whales was amazing. Celebrities live there to hide out and let them selves go a bit. Seeing Pamela Anderson at the market barefoot with doll hair looming like a meth addict. Also Ted Danson without his wig is frightening. Meg Ryan and John Cusack were a gruesome twosome! Great place for a year sabbatical.

Is Malibu where glamour goes to die?

[quote]anyone can live there. Just show up in your old Tercel towing a UHaul

Can I live in a van down by the side of the river?

R32, is that Johnny Carson's former house? His had high ceilings like that.

This looks like a fucking Habitrail and giant hamsters might appear at any moment.

R95 The house at R32 is not Johnny Carson's former home. His old place is in the Point Dume area of Malibu, while the one at R32 is about 7 miles up the coast. .. The last time Johnny's house was on the market, the seller, fashion executive and movie producer, Sidney Kimmel, started with an asking price of $81.5 million. .. With no takers, it was dropped to $65.2 million. .. Still no takers, he took it off-market and eventually did a private deal for $40 million in 2019, just a few million over the $36.5 million he originally paid for it back in 2007. .. For his Southern California abode, Kimmel and his wife went to Beverly Hills.

I would not want to live on a house on stilts near an ocean.

Carson had access from his home to his yacht, which had a full-time crew of 7. He went to Boston in it one year, I know.

R99 I'm pretty sure Carson kept his yacht with the crew down the coast in Marina Del Rey (about 24 miles from Point Dume).

Some good insight here. The reality of being so remote and living in an isolated place wears thin after a while - no matter how beautiful. Nice for a second home though. Assuming you have millions.

I think I would be fine up the coast - even in Ventura area. Ocean views and beach but without the insane wealth/celebrity/LA-business vibe.

Powered boats are not allowed to come ashore anywhere in Malibu. With very special permission you can dock a small boat at the Malibu Pier to grab food. There is no marina in the city.

[quote] It's RIGHT OF WAY, you fat whore!

Lord God Almighty you almost made me choke on that one. I haven't laughed that hard in years. 😜😂🤣😊

[quote]It's lovely, I had a mother who lived there once.

I had a mother, too!

What's all this talk about amenities? This isn't Fort Lauderdale. You can have a quiet beach town or you can have amenities. Whatever they are.

I would only want to live in the hills far above the beach. I'd want an ocean view but no way could I live right on PCH with cars racing by my house no more than 15' away. Plus the fear of the eventual tsunami that will wipe all those houses out when it happens, and it will one day. I'd rather chance a wild fire in the hills that be stuck on the beach with my neighbors on either side practically able to reach out from their house and touch mine.

Must have.

Years ago I was driving through Malibu around 10 o’clock at night. They had had bad fires a few months before. Now it was winter with the wet weather. It had stopped raining about two hours ago. I was driving south (east) towards Santa Monica. All of a sudden I hear tiny stones hitting my car. As I look at my rearview mirror I see a mudslide crashing down across the road behind me. I had just missed it! Thank God because they’re scary as fuck!

Hey, if you're afraid of mudslides and fires in Malibu, there's always Montecito.

You've heard it said in many parts of the country that if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes. Well, in Malibu if you don't like the landscape just wait 5 minutes.

In one of the posts above it says the beach goes east-west instead or north-south, says it like it's better that way, but I can't figure out what's better about that.

What do you can someone born in Malibu? Is it a Malibuller?

Malibuvian

Thanks, r113!

San Diego and its surrounds seem much more appealing than Malibu.

Yeah, the La Jolla end of San Diego is lovely, Montecito is lovely, but there's something wierd and defensive about Malibu. Even the land the mansions are built on is inhospitable.

Where's that place a little up the coast from Malibu, where the highway passes between cliffs on one side and beach houses on another, and there's a strip of town exactly one lot and one road wide? Is it Mussel Shoals? A lot of the beach towns near LA feel like that, crammed into too small a space and claustrophobic. How you can get away and relax there, I don't know.

This is a video of Carbon Beach, which is the priciest stretch of real estate on the West Coast. David Geffen's former home is at the very end of the video and you can see the public access entry that he was forced to put in next to his property.

The idea of spending mega-millions on a property and then having the land all around it open to the public doesn't appeal to me at all. If I'm going to spend $50-100 million on a house, I want acres of private land around it.

David has good taste in homes and boats. Both look tastefully done.

Here’s an article about trying to privatize the beach.

R90 I love to get food there and then run across the street and eat on the beach