Saddest things about Dorothy Zbornak

10a - never got to choke Stan with her much-bigger dick.

Obligatory:

[quote]This thread and others make me think that Datalounge is basically a secret underground civilization of people who have never seen the actual world above. The only clues they have to it are some ancient videotapes of the complete series of "I Love Lucy" and "The Golden Girls," and they watch these over and over again, obsessing about them, going over every last detail, and wondering just how life in the sunlit world above can possibly correspond to the details of what they're seeing on the holy videotapes.

R2, that was the Greatest DL post in the past few years LOL

I have yet to watch any but the first episode of Golden Girls. But somehow I feel obligated to watch it having been on DL for so long.

I'm saving it for my retirement, or golden years as it were.

Raging BDF

Dorothy is my favorite but I think she is a sad character, who deserved better than she got.

🤪 Are DataLoungers [italic] The People Under The Stairs ?

At night before bed I pray for Dorothy. I know it sounds ridiculous but I still do it.

She had terrible taste in men. She picked Sonny Bono over Lyle Waggoner, and had a fling with a musician who was in Beatlemania.

In an attempt to get back at Dorothy for insisting he put an r in February, little illegal Mario accused Dorothy of rape.

I think Bea is the example of the best complete cosmetic surgery and otherwise makeover of a TV actor ever. As Dorothy in GG, she totally reinvented herself and is a million miles away physically from Bea as Maude in the 1970s. And of course being such a good actor and the show's producers so great at totally presenting her in a different light as her differing '80s character. If it weren't for the voice, the height, or (when an episode called for them) the slow burn facial expression, singing, trademark salt-and-pepper hair, or else caustic remark or shout-out, her characters and characterizations in each show are lightyears apart and fabulously different.

For fuck sake, really?

Both her kids seemed like losers.

She ended up alright in the end.

Shingles doesn’t care

Her needless nastiness got on my nerves at times, but then again she was a fucking loser and knew it.

Dorothy had a nervous breakdown after Stan left, became a gambling addict, lost her job as school Principal, then became homeless.

She was always the one I related to the most. Things never go right for her, but she's never down for the count. She's gonna keep fighting with a sarcastic remark or two. I loved that about all the women on that show. They were feisty and not ready to throw in the towel because of their ages.

I think people love them so much, because they're how we all wish we'd end up in old age - safe and living with the people we love to spend time with.

OMFG! Another thread by an OCD GG fan!

Saddest of all was that third daughter on Empty Nest!

There was nothing sad about her ability to whirlybird.

And she rocked a sequinned headband!

The emcee of "Grab That Dough" said Dorothy had "big meat hooks" on television

Gay men generally love Dorothy

But she can't catch much straight dick - and certainly not quality straight dick

The finale was really a love letter to her though (as was much of the last season).

Poor Dorothy, she suffered so many setbacks in life...

One of her sad late-life dreams was to become friends with the insufferable author Barbara Thorndyke

in the hope that Barbara would help Dorothy get access to the South Florida pseudointellectual society

But even that dream died....

Yeah, Dorothy IS sad...

Let's talk about something more cheerful...I got a call from my pretty, successful daughter Gloria today!

Her taste in clothes.

Well on the bright side, Dorothy's big enough to share clothes with her brother Phil...

Let's all try to be more positive about Dorothy's sad, depressing life, shall we?

[quote]in the hope that Barbara would help Dorothy get access to the South Florida pseudointellectual society

Please, it's Miami's LITERARY INTELLIGENTSIA!!!

Now where are my Edgar Allen POE-tay-toes, bitch?

One of her hobbies is to look through a drawer full of Retirement Home brochures...

Sometimes I think she misses her big house in Tuckahoe, NY with her maid and her daughter with the big breasts

And all of her high-neck, multi-layer clothes are certainly suited for a colder environment...

She must sweat terribly in Miami - another reason men aren't attracted to her

She never even speaks of her grandson Phillip...

She ended up with the hottest guy in the end..... Uncle Lucas.

Dorothy took a shit on Rose’s bedroom floor when she was mad at her.

It was sad she didn't get the Toto reference.

Did Dorothy and Jean ever know each other in the Biblical sense?

Poor Dorothy has to sing old Irving Berlin songs to get attention in bars

whereas I don't have to sing at all...well, sometimes I don't wear a bra

Don't let anybody lie to you, life is easier for pretty girls like me...

I don't really get the drama or sadness regarding Dorothy. Apart from being fictional, it's the purpose of a show to let people go through every emotional rollercoaster there is in order to keep viewers interested and engaged. And we all know that she had her happy ending by getting married to Lucas (even though the wedding dress was a horrid mess).

This clickbait article could be made for pretty much every single fictional character in TV history.

I think DZ and I are very similar.

How the fuck did Stan put up with the miserable old cunt for 38 years??? No wonder he cheated - starting on their honeymoon. Dorothy was an unhappy old witch of a woman.

Remember how Dorothy (not to mention the other 2 girls who viewed her as a second mother) couldn't afford a "babysitter" for Sophia for awhile so she faked her mom's new job as an activities director at a senior home.

I guess Dorothy couldn't even ask her siblings, children or Stan for any $ help in the matter either. Some family.

What about their ‘extra’ insurance policy where if one became ill, the others would take care of them. Guess that was all a lie.

The saddest thing about Dorothy is that the NBC brass didn't give her a great offer

for a spin off of her & Lucas when she grew tired of the GG.

Bea never explained why she shit on my dressing room floor.

I loved when Bea sang "What'll I Do?" in the bar. She had the most interesting, beautiful voice. I always thought that was one of the best episodes in the whole series and taught me how we all have our own special gifts that people are waiting to appreciate. Really funny work by Rue in that episode as well with her song at the piano.

Was it when Dorothy's nose hair got tangled up with the black hair on her upper lip?

And Dorothy looked like she was snarling at everyone until we could untangle it all with my embroidery scissors?

Do I win?

Is there a prize?

[quote]She ended up with the hottest guy in the end..... Uncle Lucas.

She married Uncle Lucas (Leslie Nielsen) and dated Ken the lawyer clown (Dick Van Dyke), I’d say she did pretty good for herself.

Some of our characters made more appearances than hers.

Case in point Rose making her debut in Empty Nest's 1st season =

Her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Oh yeah. The chronic fatigue syndrome that was never mentioned again after she told off the doctor who misdiagnosed her while very very obviously reading off cue cards. Not Bea’s finest moment. She couldn’t memorize her lines for chrissake!!

R45 AT the piano!?!? She was straddling the thing! I think The Rusty Anchor was a gay bar, complete with grand piano and fabulous bathrooms.

[quote] As Dorothy in GG, she totally reinvented herself and is a million miles away physically from Bea as Maude in the 1970s.

This is so rarely mentioned and I'm glad someone else posted this.

I mean, it's almost like Bea had a new host body. She really looked incredibly different from her Maude days.

I loved Maude, but just could never warm up to Dorothy. Maude was such a tour de force.

Dorothy's my favorite. She's cynical and knows life sucks, but that doesn't stop her from trying to help her friends and loved ones see the bright side of things. Sometimes she temporarily goes a little crazy into one of her dreams (hooking up with the married man, hooking up with the Beatlemania drummer, falling back in love with Stan, etc...), but she corrects herself after too long.

She had a rough life. The first time she had sex (while a teen in high school), she got knocked up. In those days, you had to go through a shotgun wedding, and she was stuck with that yutz Stan. She tried to make the best of things, raising two kids, only for Stan to cheat repeatedly and dump her for a younger woman. Even though Stan was an ass, he kept coming back into her life, and she couldn't help feeling a spark for him once in awhile. Her daughter married a cheater, and her son turned out to be a deadbeat, and they rarely visited. She emotionally and financially cared for her mother, who verbally abused her and constantly criticized her and ridiculed her about her mistakes. Her friends--and somehow strangers--nonchalantly insulted her appearance. Yet she maintained a graceful and sophisticated confidence.

R45, I love that moment, too. Especially after she realizes how good her performance is, and that she's drawing a crowd. Then, suddenly she stands up and starts belting out the melody with much more confidence.

I’m exactly opposite r52. I loved Dorothy but hated Maude.

Well, bless your heart R55.

The saddest thing was the kid she had as a teen died early on. Stan and Dorothy separated as she went to college (where she roomed with Jean). Eventually they reconciled and had those two kids.

Dorothy rose to be a regional school inspector but lost her job following a nervous breakdown when Stan leaving her via a letter.

She then developed a gambling addiction and lost the family home, hence why she needed to share.

Say what you will Dorothy/Bea easily had one of the most beautiful “celebrity “ homes. It went up for sale about a year after she died. Major gorgeousness.

Wow that property is amazing

Dorothy: Oh Blanche honey, I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your rhinestone necklace.

Blanche: No, that's alright, but I think I should point out it was designed for a dainty neck.

Dorothy: Yes Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry.

It breaks my heart to know poor Dorothy couldn't get approved for Chico's store credit card - she was never about to afford the big chunky statement necklaces that would have complemented her "bone structure"

[quote]It breaks my heart to know poor Dorothy couldn't get approved for Chico's store credit card - she was never about to afford the big chunky statement necklaces that would have complemented her "bone structure"

Fortunately, Dorothy wrestled away a few pieces of her brother Phil's jewelry from Big Ang' after the funeral

How sad was Dorothy when she guest starred on the Golden Palace?

Sophia: What's a lanai? Dorothy: The porch! Sophia: Well, excuse me, Krystal Carrington!

R63 I love that line!!!

Chico's?

On a substitute teacher's salary?

[quote]How sad was Dorothy when she guest starred on the Golden Palace?

Don Cheadle had to spend "quality time" with Bea in her trailer...

Bea shit in Betty’s dressing room.

Did Dorothy scissor with Barbara Thorndyke?

Dorothy’s pussy stunk!

I just had a revelation...

I think Salvador (Dorothy's father) was molesting her. They had this secret "ice cream club" where he called her "Spumoni Face" which was likely code language for "Sperm Face". Dorothy shows all of the classic symptoms of being molested by her father.

For me the saddest thing about Dorothy was her Jewish mother forcing the family to pass as Sicilian Catholics because it was easier to be Catholic than Jewish in the America of those days. A lifetime of hiding her true identity took a toll on Dorothy.

Poor Dorothy, as a child she had to grow up in the shadow of her pretty and bright older sister Gloria...

always being compared to Gloria and always being second best...

But she grew up and things changed...

As an adult she was not only considered less attractive than her sister Gloria - too tall, manly, harsh - but she couldn't even wear gold lame as well as her brother Phil

R58 I’ve seen pictures before and I love it. Elegant beautiful tasteful.