What are the weirdest dates/hookups you've had?

Why doesn't DL have an edit function?! "I met a guy"

Cheap dirty motel room in bumfuck Indonesia, the guy was super paranoid and would jump up and peek through the curtains every 30 seconds, and didn’t want to take his clothes off in case he had to flee in a hurry. Earlier he sucked my dick on a dark dirt road without even taking his motorbike helmet off.

Or maybe when I got a gumjob off a really old and small guy who was supposed to be paying me, but I was too shy to actually ask for the cash and went home empty-handed. If anyone’s wondering, it doesn’t feel as good as you might think.

I put an ad in a dating column of a gay paper and received a reply from one fellow who seemed like a good match. A non-smoker who liked the same kind of films and music I liked. We agreed to meet. Outside the restaurant, I met a man who was chain-smoking and had a terrible scar down across his face. The scar wouldn't have been so shocking has he mentioned he had one but I was totally taken aback. He then said "I know you said non-smoker but I didn't think you would mind". The smell was overpowering. That one meet and greet and DONE.

A submissive bodybuilder who wanted me to punch him while I was fucking him, then wanted to wash me in the shower and dry me afterwards, then cuddled me on the sofa and sucked a load out of my dick before going off to meet a friend, we met up later the same day and I fucked him again and then we went out for dinner. I went home and we texted to say we'd like to do it again but I never saw him again. It was weird because it was really intense and hot and seemed to go a lot better than just a one-off hookup.

10 year old photos of him as a bodybuilder and trainer; in person, morbidly obese, lived with his parents, food all over his shirt. We were supposed to have lunch, but he "couldn't wait" and had already eaten. Invited me back to his house where his parents were "napping."Took him home and drove away as fast as I could.