Should I get Revenge on my upstairs neighbors?

There’s no poll. But I’m with your husband. Leave them alone. You’re leaving the building.

fail

Poll? What poll? Never live underneath anyone, sure noise can travel up, too, but being underneath is a million times worse.

I didn't even hit post. WTF!

Oh datalounge. You're worse with technology than my grandparents.

1. Shit in their boots - which they leave outside their front door 2. Put a forward on all of their mail 3. discreetly put an ex-lax type treat on their doormat. that puppy eats anything. Here comes shit city 4. Mail them a box of dicks 5. Put a stereo on a bookcase we are leaving behind on FULL BLAST after we move out. I've already made a deal with the landlord I am leaving behind a few things and will paypal the super to remove them before the end of the month. 5. Let it go and move on (I know this is the right thing to do but as a moody cancer it is the least appealing)

Thanks R3. I've learned the hard way. I guess I was lucky that I had almost 9 years of a great nieghbor and a year of one from hell.

The nasty neighbors troll is BACK!

If you must have revenge, get some fart spray and do a couple spritzes on their doorknob.

Burn down the building, preferably with them in it.

How can people be so oblivious to their downstairs neighbors? If you have hardwood floors and live above someone, it is your duty to put down some rugs. Nobody wants to hear you stomping around all day and night. Hell truly is other people.

Once I came back from a trip and discovered the downstairs tenants had got a dog (not permitted in the lease). It started barking as I walked past their door to get to the stairs. Barked for a solid hour. Called the landlord who contacted them. Within 20 minutes, their sister came to collect the dog. They apologized profusely, it was a rescue dog, separation anxiety. They bought a special collar and a vest designed to discourage barking that day, did some kind of training, and I never heard a peep out of him for the next two years until they moved out. It can be done.

Hipster weaklings, ha ha.

It could be worse, OP. After 20 peaceful years in my apartment, I now find myself living next door to "Animal House."

My new neighbor's friends come to party all weekend, with the screaming and noise usually starting at around noon and lasting into the wee morning hours. I banged on the wall a couple of weeks ago and they quieted down, but have now resumed their raucous ways. Grrrrr....

Cover your ceiling in acoustic foam. It works.

I've seen some very nice looking acoustic foam ceilings. They're getting more popular.

Isn't acoustic foam what led to the Great White Station Fire?

Your revenge skills are terrible dear. What you need to do is plant the seeds of infidelity. Casually mention to the wife how lovely her sister is and when she seems surprised tell her oh I just assumed that woman coming out of your apartment was your sister. Wait for them to leave and slip a love letter under their door. Push it hard so it goes somewhere out of sight. Order flowers and have them sent to their address but put the wrong woman's name on it. - FUCK with them.

Is it a pit bull, OP?

Yes, OP and R16. Get one of your female friends to call the wife and say that she is having an affair with her husband. Even if it is fake, the seeds of doubt will be planted and hard to erase. They could be divorced/broken up by summer.

R16 is a true Datalounger and speaks wisdom.

OP, why did you mention them being straight? Does that have something to do with the noise? Is he jackhammering her poon hole all hours causing the popcorn ceiling to shake and crack?? It’s like saying a ‘black couple moved in and the noise started’. Fucking hell, Mary!

SPIT IN THEIR FACES NEXT TIME YOU SEE THEM

Shit on their doorstep!

Slap them quite viciously, turn, flounce awayf.

Do you bank the ceiling with a broom handle?

I hope the ceiling is banked by walls, R24.

Shit in her wig!

Don't shit on their doorstep, then they have your DNA, put dog shit on the doorstep and doorknob instead.

By all means, regardless that you are moving, exact "revenge". Why tolerate what is essentially being bullied by this self-entitled couple who disrespect others around them? Our country has been intimidated by people who disrespect others for the last four years. Fight back, in any way you can. Shit in their boots outside their door (GREAT idea, BTW). And the dog could use a good colon clean-out, so have at it with the ExLax. They don't need to know it's you; just show them that the universe can also treat them like the shit they do to others. It's like the Golden Showers Rule: "Shit upon others as they have shat upon you".

No. Just buy your own home and be done with it. Sorry this is not an option for everyone.

Why not clap back with noise yourself? Get a sturdy ladder and place a massive, bass-heavy speaker at the ceiling. Play the Smurfs theme song all day long (bonus if you can go out for the day).

At night, in the still of the night, run up to their door and bang loudly, then run away.

Agree with hitting the ceiling if you can (just be careful not to damage the ceiling).

ThinkGeek (RIP) used to make a diabolical device called the Annoy-O-Tron, a small electronic gizmo that emitted loud chirps (like a dying smoke detector) at random intervals. It was impossible to detect the source - something about the duration, frequency and irregular intervals made the sound non-directional. A friend once hid one in his terrible boss' office. Madness and hilarity ensued.

You can find knockoffs on ebay -- the original is smaller than V2. But you'd need to find a way to hide it in your neighbors' apartment, unless you have some common ductwork you can access. Those older UWS buildings might actually have some way to get under their floorboards...

Same thing happened to me, OP. I lived under an asshole who made my life a living hell since day one. I couldn't sleep. He had parties every weekend and I literally called the cops on him several times. It wasn't just the weekends either. He played loud music, had fights with his girlfriend every day. He was just loud and obnoxious. He refused to change. I had no option but to move. Best decision I ever made. It sucks that the bully got away scot-free while I, the one who was suffering, had to move. But the world isn't fair. I made several complaints to the landlord, but got nowhere since she hated me. Anyways, I ended up leaving. When I tell people about it, how that asshole treated me, and how my landlord would do nothing, literally everyone is in shock. They are all on my side. So I know for a fact I wasn't the problem. He should have been evicted. Instead I had to move. But it is what it is. I just wanted peace and quiet, so I decided to move.

Mail them dog shit through the post, shit in their boots, do the stereo on the bookcase thing, do the the affair thing, do it all, i cannot stand inconsiderate neighbours, i hope the cunts get taught a lesson, and i hope you're the one to serve them the karma they deserve...

Anonymously arrange for brochures from a clinic performing gender reassignment surgery sent to the husband. Send the clinic an email from an anonymous email address requesting information and an appointment for consultation.

When my late partner and I lived in Glendale there was an apartment building across the street. It had been a quaint place, with elderly folks and was owned by a Danish fellow. Anyway, in the 1980's Armenians started moving in and, I swear, they ate dinner at 3 AM, sat on the balcony all the time and talked until morning while blasting loud music and guests would come and go at all hours also blasting music an revving up the engines of their BMW's all day and night with music blaring. We talked to the building manager (who, by a coincidence was a Romanian fellow that loved to paint...who knew I would be in his home country 20+ years later?). He said that he had told them to stop as had the owner and they THREATENED to harm his daughter and the owner's daughter who was living in one of the apartments by the pool (not joking). Finally, James and I called the police because that whole building was afraid of them as they allegedly had family in a huge Armenian gang in Glendale.

I did this to a couple that lived downstairs and was in an abusive relationship, he’d have terrible arguments, screaming in the middle of the night and beat her, I’d call the police and she would never press charges and it’d happen over and over again.

Get an eye pencil, eye shadow or lipstick, use the tip a bit and shove it under the front door when they’re not there. He’ll think it is hers if he sees it and she’ll think he’s cheating.

I did this and remarkably she kicked him out a week later.

If you were staying, you could start the legal process. you have to keep records of the noise and recordings of it as well. I started to do that with my i-phone because my upstairs neighbors were (it sounded like) pushing heavy medieval furniture across their living room floor just about every night, vacuuming at 11;00pm. etc. and no area rugs. And I got spoiled, too; my previous neighbor up there, was a single (gay) guy with a pitbull. Never heard a single sound for six years. When i finally got the cajones to go up there and confront them directly, i was with my friend George, a streetwise Puerto rican who has done how many years 'upstate' i do not know, and has never lived anywhere other than NYC, except for upstate lol. He is also a very good mediator, and rambly/articulate, and he did most of the talking. 'Ohhh, we're sorry, we didn't know.' was the gist of their response, and after that it got somewhat quieter, then they moved.

But i feel for you, op, and so do other DL-nyers as you can tell by the response. It's a horrible state to be in when you live in NYC and dread going to your apartment.

[quote]And the dog could use a good colon clean-out, so have at it with the ExLax.

Please don't fuck with their dog, especially with a chocolate ExLax 'treat'. Isn't chocolate deadly for dogs?

As for the dog barking, it's the asshole couple's fault. The dog isn't being trained properly. The dog is doing what dogs do. I don't even have a dog and I know that you can't blame the dog for its lack of training.

It's obvious you are dealing with extremely inconsiderate people. Let me guess, they are spoiled trust fund hipster assholes? They seem entitled. Despite the complaints they continue to make noise and they are also too fucking lazy to train their dog.

My upstairs neighbor has a rescue dog, she's had it for about two years, the dog would bark non-stop, he no longer barks. The dog barks occasionally when she leaves him alone for a long time.

For some people, they just can't up and move, I live in a co-op. I'm sure not selling my place because of the occasional noise. The co-op has noise rules, no loud noise, that includes a blasting TV, loud thumping music, loud arguing and dogs barking. The co-op doesn't seem to enforce dog barking rules unless the dog barks after 11PM.

I normally work from home, the incessant barking during the day drove me nuts. The woman who owns the dog did tell neighbors she was training the dog and he's calmed down. She sure didn't ignore the complaints. There's never been a problem with her before, she's been a cooperator for over 15 years. She's a decent person, a young widow who is raising her child alone. Her other dog died, we never heard a peep out of that dog.

Years ago, I had a total idiot under me, this jerk was always blasting loud bass heavy music. The noise was unbearable, one night my sofa was literally vibrating. After many complaints, from I don't know how many floors of residents and several fines from the co-op, this moron was a given choice, lower the music to a normal level or be evicted. Seems he chose eviction! He was forced to sell his apartment. The young couple who bought his place are so quiet, it's as if they don't have a TV or a stereo.

Recently I heard/read somewhere that NYC psychiatrists say the number one issue their patients discuss is noise. Not love, finances, existential observations, etc. but NOISE. Got to be hell.

Only if it's Revenge. And only if it's the first season. Everything after that was terrible.

Nothing good ever came of revenge, though.

I can empathize with r32. I am in a situation where there are exhaust fans outside my unit and they are noisy and reverberate through my apartment. I am the only one in my building with this issue. The landlord and property manager will not turn them off until 9 in the evening. They run for more than half the day. Because of the pabdemic, I am working remotely. At one point they were on for 24 hours. I have tried everything but they won't budge

Noise is a disstresor r39. It's not just the noise but also vibrations they emanate that people respond to. It's also the lack of control over the noise: noisy neighbors in a living complex, someone at your workplace turning on the radio while you are trying to focus on a project, and so on. Not having control over the noise aggravates one's anxiety and distress.

I think sensitivity to noises will be a major disability issue in the next ten years, akin to scent-free policies in workplaces and also the issue of gum chewing, which triggers some people. The push for stronger noise-cancelling devices is a sign that many people struggle with unwanted noise.

Sorry I meant to say noise is a stressor not distressor.

Call the cops with an anonymous tip that you have repeatedly heard domestic violence disputes, that you know the wife will deny it to protect her husband, but you are worried that he is going to kill her.

Follow them. At night...

OP, what if you did a gone girl scenario, faked your death, and framed it on the upstairs neighbors???

R16 Even if you break up the marriage, you cant' be sure which one will keep the apartment and the dog.

There used to be a series of books on how to get revenge and/or gaslight people. Used to be advertised in the back of National Lampoon. I’m sure they have useful suggestions. I’m the meantime why not invest in new stereo equipment and become a connoisseur of bad music. Here’s Roger Whittaker’s version of “Good Morning Starshine”. 115 decibels at 5:15 am should work

^ I once purchased a CD of "experimental" music, just for the neighbors. The most useful track was a version of "New York, New York" performed by a "choir" of automobile horns. The cars had been selected for the notes made by their individual horns, then all assembled in some huge warehouse in Brooklyn, and the song was performed by people pressing each horn in the correct sequence. I set it to repeat continuously, next door to the offending neighbor's bedroom. Set it off at 5 a.m. one Saturday morning, on my way out of town, left the building and came back at sundown the next day. It solved my noise problem with that neighbor for good. They wouldn't ever speak to me again.

My first apartment in DC was the second floor of a row house. We put down rugs. We took our shoes off. We tread lightly. And yet the downstairs neighbors were always knocking on our door complaining about the noise. Sometimes, places just have bad acoustics. This was one of those places. We eventually stopped caring because we did everything we could and it made no difference. I think the upstairs neighbors should do what they can but no more.

R37 wrote: "it sounded like) pushing heavy medieval furniture across their living room floor just about every night, vacuuming at 11;00pm. etc. and no area rugs."

R37, what did the heavy medieval furniture they were moving every night turn out to be? I have the same problem, with my upstairs neighbors dragging furniture back and forth across the wooden floors every night around 11 PM. It only lasts about 5-10 minutes, but it's every night and it's annoying. Plus they're constantly dropping things that sound like bowling balls, hammers, golf balls and screwdrivers on the wooden floors every freaking day. It's soooo annoying that it's making me flip my wig!

Regarding #4, is your name Jeffrey Dahmer by any chance?

R20 if they were gay I would have said gay couple. Quit race baiting you FUCKIN CUNT SMEARED SHITHOLE.

There are cameras everywhere

R49 I hear you (or hopefully I don't hear you...haha). My former upstairs neighbor was 6' with a muscled, rugby type build. NEVER heard him in the 7 years he lived above us.

FWIW, there is some little chic at my job who is maybe 4'11' who stomps like a fucking ostrich down the hall (pre covid WFH). You could hear her from 40 feet away.

Thanks for the helpful replies, boys! I'm definitely doing the thing to make his fiancee think he is cheating on her ass!

R50. I had an upstairs neighbor who moved furniture every night around 11:30. They were making room to unfold a sofa bed.

Reality check Yoko, you aren't as popular as you think you are. The whisper campaign going around behind your back is how nosey and vengeful you are.

R50 i never really found out what their furniture was like and why a scraped the floor/my ceiling like it did. After they moved, there was a young couple for abut a year whoo were less noisy but still annoying. one of them pee'd frequently throughout the night because often heard him/her jumping out of bed and running thot the bathroom, which is closer to the front door. They were ran out of town by the virus. Throughout almost all of the quarantine it was dead quiet up there and i was in apartment heaven. Then one late Saturday/early Sunday at 3:3 v0or 4:00am it started up out of nowhere, big time. It was so over the top I had no problem marching up to the mysterious ninth floor to see what the deal was "Oh, sorry! We were in Long Island but we came back to pack! We're moving! And the movers are coming at 9:00am!"

I wrote about this on DL once before and referred to them as the Kooky Koreans. They were young and adorably zany, and yet one responder accused me of being racist, when i felt I was merely being descriptive.

Now there are two females living there, i think one of them uses the living room as her bedroom. The first time it was noisy i went up there immediately, telling them that I came in peace, and maybe they could relate because they have people living above them on the tenth floor. The key is to communicate right away. That keeps it from escalating and you from making a lot of presumptions about them, what the noise is, and what their furniture is like. When i left, I told them that i had a broom, and when it got noisy I would let them know via the broom to the ceiling method. The broom has since become an inverted four legged wood footstool, and I've used it three or four times at most. And I said that to them in the nicest way possible.

I can get you a good deal on genuine Italian cement shoes.

I had a queen living above me who had a balcony above my bedroom. He'd move things around up there at ONE or TWO in the morning. He'd also rock in his chair, knocking it against the wall, also late into the night. He knew he was bothering me.

One day I BLASTED him with rock'n'roll at 6 in the morning (he liked to sleep in) and expressed myself verbally LOUDLY, once I'd caught his attention (the gentle touch hadn't worked) and the noise stopped...FOR GOOD!!!

What does work is wall-to-wall carpeting and thick padding., but not one likes it these days, and it's not in by-laws or leases.

Don't waste money on soundproofing your ceiling. We did in a NYC coop to the tune of $15,000 on one room dropping the ceiling 8", and it doesn't work. If the shits upstairs don't put down carpeting and padding, you have to move.

The fucking RENTER that is living upstairs in one of my condos, plays drums. I have complained to no avail. I seriously want to do bad things to him.

When I moved into my place, the people above me had kids and it's got to be a one-bedroom like mine, so every night these kids would do what sounded like the zoomies but jumping and running back and forth to wear themselves down. Thank God they left and I only had to deal with them a few weeks, it would start around 9 and go until 11:30 every night without fail.

When you move leave a letter to the landlord describing exactly why they drove you out and give a copy to them.

My friend's neighbor upstairs is terrible as well. Loves to move furniture every week. She rearranges the furniture for social media, to make it look like she lives in an apt with several rooms, instead of just one.

R64, your friend or someone else should point out on that fraud's social media that it's just pictures of the same room with the furniture constantly rearranged. Embarrass the bitch.

Slide some xylitol gummies under the door to permanently quiet the mutt, and blast this song to bring the neighbors to submission.

r48 is a genius

R67 Oh my god, it’s even worse than I had imagined. I can’t stop laughing just thinking about that neighbor going nuts with that mess on repeat

That clip at R67 is the soundtrack from the 7th Circle of Hell. Genius revenge move.