Lindsey Graham Was "The Main Attraction" As a Boy

Lady G has been entertaining the boys since the end of the second civil war....

[quote] or the Piccolo

Yeah who doesn't go to their local watering hole for the woodwind instruments?

Here she is doing the dance of the 7 veils.

I bet you were, Lindsey!

Always the court jester.

Been a hoe since childhood, SMH

He does look like one of those child stars who peaked when they were 7 and look weird as adults. See also Jeff Sessions.

He makes a lot of references to using his mouth in that passage.

Ah've written a lettah to Daddy.....

Ha ha ha... stupid geh is joke at this hess but he get job done for pretendy billionaire. What suck up!

R2, piccolo was what certain parts of the south called a jukebox when they first appeared.

[quote] I was one of the main attractions at the bar when I was between the ages of four and seven.

As opposed to the ages of 10 to 16 when he was the main attraction in the parking lot

I would strut around (the world was my runway)

[quote]I was one of the main attractions at the bar when I was between the ages of four and seven.

Great Aunt (by marriage) Penny used to talk about the summer she had a job at that bar. She tried, but apparently he was a slippery like a greased pig and then she had to go off to college.

I believe he was the main attraction in the toilet from age 10 and up, r11.

r10 Well that makes sense at least. The only interpretations I could come up with were Piccolo was a euphemism for a gloryhole. Or he's just never met a normal person in his life and he thinks flute music is big with the working classes.

It apparently was the Name of the Sony brand of jukeboxes very common around the south from the late Forties to mid-Sixties.

Omg, I’m cracking up imagining Little Lindsey as a cowboy strutting up and down the bar like it’s Flaming Saddles.

r16 I don't think anyone in the US would have ever heard of Sony in the 40s.

I can just hear him singing "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves."

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That.... doesn’t sound like a safe environment for a child. I guess this explains why he’s so fucked up.

Lindsey's rendition of "Hard Hearted Hannah" brought the house down!!!

... and that’s how Lady G learned from an early age what a man really wants.

Sound like a story an extremely fucked up person would tell without a shred of awareness.

That guy was screaming queer from conception. What a farce.

If you ever need to explain the phrase ‘out of the mouths of babes’ there’s your example!

That’s where his love of alcohol got started, right there at the bar.

[quote] But when the place started to fill in and liven up, I would get my act going. I would strut around the place, sometimes dressed as a cowboy — hat, vest and plastic six shooters.

I want to be a cowboy sweetheart!

[quote]a man named Florence

Hello, everybody! My name is Miss Lindsey! What's YOURS?

R29, young Lindsay was a dead ringer for her. Boy. That pic is shocking!

DADDY! DADDY! WATCH ME TWIRL!!!

What a fucking Queen!

How has she not been outed by now?

Sadly, the Juke Box was a thing of the future. The Piccolo was a music box. Think Player Piano.

R35, that was an earlier music box style from the 19th century. There were actually jukeboxes branded Piccolo. I was mistaken, they weren’t produced by Sony but by Arietta around the time Lindsey would have been a young boy.

How old do you suppose he was when he first surrendered his flower?

Bachi boy

I am not amused.

No, he was "The Mame Attraction".

Yeah, I'll bet he smoked their...cigarette.

She really does sound like a Future Homosexual of America even at that young age.

This makes sense of Lindsay's desperate neediness. It dates back to his Baby June phase. It's why he'll turn to anyone and do anything - look at him in later life. That pathetic mess is suffering. At least there's that. I wouldn't wish it on him if he weren't imposing his disorders on a nation, but he his.

Is this actually real? I thought this was a satire post. God this man is delusional if he thinks anyone really believes he is straight.

I picture him lying across a piano in a feather boa crooning torchsongs.

How shabby. What fiber of people did he come from? A child in a saloon...

[quote] This makes sense of Lindsay's desperate neediness. It dates back to his Baby June phase. It's why he'll turn to anyone and do anything - look at him in later life. That pathetic mess is suffering. At least there's that. I wouldn't wish it on him if he weren't imposing his disorders on a nation, but he his.

Agree with this except I don't think he's suffering. He loves sucking up to powerful people & becoming a pet.

Only a few snapshots remain of those bittersweet days.

Wonder if this is a little "set up" and background excusing for a certain revelation that may be forthcoming about him and underaged boys. AmIrite Donald?

Can we get some more excerpts please? Video unrelated

Oh Lindsey, no need to be coy or speak in "code." Many people already know allllll about you and your rather sordid past. The one you've been running away from all your life, and which will haunt you after you're out of public office.

Is anyone else picturing a 7 year old Lindsay Graham lying on the top of the bar piano, belting out Crazy by Patsy Cline? I'm picturing Michelle Pfeiffer in the Fabulous Baker Boys.

Then he slinks off the piano and walks around to each table of men, sipping their beers and taking a long, sultry pull of their cigarettes and blowing it back into their faces?

With his flaxen waves, I'm guessing Shirley Temple was a role model.

I can picture him doing that now, R52.

Mr. Graham is lucky to have survived his journey to adulthood.

Not every pint-sized harlot gets that opportunity.

[quote] "I was one of the main attractions at the bar when I was between the ages of four and seven. I might not have been as big a draw as the beer or the Piccolo, but folks seemed to be amused by my antics. I was always kind of a little guy. My wrestling weight in high school was one-hundred-and-two pounds. I was really small at four, five and six, and very animated. I talked my head off to anyone who would listen to me. People apparently found the combination of my slight stature and gabby nature comical."

What editor missed this and not think it reads like Lindsey's Daddy ran a joint for the NAMBLA?

If what I read is true, his parents died before his little sister was grown, and he stayed home to go to college so he could be around for her. I forgot how old she was - 15 or 16?

I don't think he's a horrible person (uh that would be Trump). But he's filled with shame and has done so much covering-up stuff and lying - makes him dangerous.

R52:I posted something similar.

r44 It's real. I heard about this on a podcast this morning and went to check his autobiography, which he has on his website. I'll bet there's more.

Lindsay was the entertainment in the bar? Like a slot machine!

He WAS the slot machine.

Putin has video.

r60 Oh, Eddie ... you know you Brits call them FRUIT machines! Even more appropriate for the Senatrice.

Did she work the glory hole in the bar's toilet?

I'll bet to this day Lindsey can do the full routine:

I'm a little cowboy, call me yurs Got mah saddle, I got mah spurs. Ride me tonight on the lone prai-ree. Cuz that's when I yell Whee Oh Whee!

The future Senatrice was the Naughty Lady of Shady Lane at age 7!

Wrestling? He should bend over for Gym Jordan.

I was born in China

And raised in Jay-pan

If you don't like my peaches

Stay away from my can

You bitches are terrible!

....and making me laugh til I'm sore...you can just see Lady G doing all this as a wee lass.

It sounds like he was an extroverted, precocious child. I wonder if he was ever given the opportunity to explore his artistic side in school. Working as a lawyer isn't that much different from performing on a stage.

He left out that during the hot and muggy South Carolina summers, he would often dress like the Coppertone girl and taught the dog to tug on his swimsuit, showing all the menfolk the little slice of heaven waiting for them in the backroom.

I imagine it happening like this.

"I was VERY popular"

I'm sure you were VERY popular

Did they make him display his puny cocklet?

"If that l'il fella had as many dicks sticking outta him as he'd had stuck in him, he'd be a Sentence!"

r73 He'd stand on the bar and yell "Hi, fellers. Who wants to see mah button?" His mom and dad thought it was so cute!

Why would he join his HS wrestling team if he was only 102 lbs?

Why do you think?

He must have really appreciated the sport and its history to grapple with those bigger, stronger boys when he was so small and yielding.

Blanche DuBois:

Tarantula was the name of it. I stayed at a hotel called the Tarantula Arms.

Mitch:

Tarantula Arms?

Blanche DuBois:

Yes, a big spider. That's where I brought my victims. Yes, I've had many meetings with strangers.

I imagine her looking like one of those Irish Traveler mini-strumpets who bump and grind to attract older mens for arranged marriages.

I'm sure at some point in young Lindsey's life he was a pass around fuck boy for all the pedos.

Strut, pout, put it out!

No takin' and no givin'

Of course he was very popular. What kind of saloon-goer doesn’t appreciate a good pint-sized mincing prisspot?

Lindsey ne regrette rien!

I can picture Lil' Lindsey doing the "Dainty June" numbers from Gypsy

In his autobiography, Lindsey writes about a man named Warren that he lived with all through Law School, but adds an interesting detail:

"We ended up sharing a succession of rented apartments, each more disorderly and unsanitary than the previous one, through all three years in law school. We weren’t very tidy, Warren and I, and our reputation for being slobs was widespread. One of the more popular stories about our deficient housekeeping concerned the girl I was going out with at the time, Debbie. She was seated next to me in our living room one night, on a beat up couch we had purchased at a secondhand store. When we got up to leave for our date, I noticed that a peanut butter sandwich that either Warren or I had let fall between the cushions was now stuck to Debbie’s posterior. Several friends who were there noticed it as well, and made sure to circulate the story all over campus."

R71,

He’s more like this.....

Another quote!

“I’ve never married. I guess I attribute that to timing, too. The opportunity never presented itself at the right time, or I never found time to meet the right girl, or the right girl was smart enough not to have time for me. I haven’t been lucky that way. But I have a family.”

After all these years, why hasn’t anyone OUTED him?

Maybe not many people in Washington suspect it about him?

Little known fact, Lindsay Graham was the original singer of the Waitresses, but was replaced at the last second due to military service posting.

He wrote this song.

Did he mention having a long-distance relationship with a girl in Canada?

He wasn't bad looking, he can be charming and mild-mannered, and he was a lawyer (e.g. rich). I'm sure lots of girls would have been happy to go out with him and eventually put a ring on it.

Out him? Who imagines he’s in?

Jodie Foster also said in interviews that watching home tapes of Lindsay in his bar served as her inspiration in this scene when she was 11

R88 "Or it might be the fact that I am, in fact, as queer as a three dollar bill."

[quote] After all these years, why hasn’t anyone OUTED him?

That escort did...that's how we know they call him Lady G.

Oh, Lordy!

What ever became of that story??!

Here's the whole autobiography at a mere 126 pages. I wonder if the other half with the gay hookers is kept in a diary next to the fainting couch.

That’s disturbing, r94. Ew.

So you were a baby gay. We knew that.

Inspired by young Lindsey.

R64 - you know he does redo those performances of his youth.

Right around 1am on a Saturday night, he stumbles upstairs with a tumbler full of vodka on the rocks, pulls the drapes closed and leans over his makeup table, staring into the mirror and reliving his glory days of being the belle of the ball at the Sanitary Cafe.

He twirls with his tumbler of vodka - whoops, sip, almost sshpilled shome - and 'pew pew' fires his toy guns into the mirror and whispers away the imaginary smoke from the pistols.

"I'm the ORIGINAL Pewdiepie" - pew, pew! And slowly does the striptease of his youth. The pomeranian looks behind his shoulder and shakes its head as he exits Lindsay's boudouir.

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Lindsey would always volunteer to be the one IN the barrel out back. Hell, we had to fight just to get him home.

Can you spot her? Don't look for the face.

Well, having a father named "Florence" was just the start of his troubles.

R88, that's hilarious. It's too bad Lindsey just never found the right woman to be Mrs Senatrice

Honestly though, Dianne Feinstein is older and long married. Just not practical for Lindsey.

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I imagine "Debbie" was the female equivalent of Karl Malden's character in [italic] Streetcar [italic/].

[quote]I don't think he's a horrible person

But he is, Blanche, he is.

A door in the back of the bar opened to our living quarters, one good-sized room with two beds, a large one for my parents and a twin bed for me, a green Naugahyde couch and recliner, a TV set, a dresser, a makeshift closet, and my mother’s wooden sewing machine. We shared the bathroom with the customers. We used a metal washtub to bathe, drawing water from the sink and heating it on the stove. When my sister came along in 1964, my folks bought a singlewide trailer, which we kept in the building’s back lot. The family stayed in the trailer on the weekends, and we would bathe there. But during the week, we lived in that backroom.

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. You’re all horrible!

I'll bet there are a lot of gaps in Lindsey's memory from those years.

[quote] This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. You’re all horrible!

His stupid autobiography is horrible as long as he insists he is straight! If he admits he is gay, then we are laughing *with* him, not at him. These posts have been *mild*, very lukewarm.

“I spent a lot of time just playing pinball, standing on an overturned Coca Cola crate.”

Jodie Foster played a young Miss Lindsey in the movie based on the autobiography, “The Accused”.

Serious question: Do you think he'll ever come out? I have a feeling he'd be a better person if he did.

When is the movie coming out?

The original concept was abandoned.

Ah've written a letter to daddy....

His address is heaven above

I’m sorry but I’m getting too much Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.

Sorry, R19!

I went by the stage name Lindsey Rose Lee

But was he The Main Event?

[quote]Serious question: Do you think he'll ever come out?

Never. My guess is, in his mind, he has nothing to gain from coming out. He's not young and cute, so the gays have zero incentive to embrace him, even though they seemed to have forgiven Ken Mehlman... but that is neither here nor there. He can't win his Senate seat in South Carolina as an out gay man. He's pretty conservative, so democrats are not going to embrace him. So his options are pretty limited.

He's not stupid, he knows what everyone says about him. And as long it remains a faux pas to to discuss someone's sexuality in any kind of official public way when they have not come out, he will continue to play the game.

If anyone wasn't sure he was gay before, this excerpt confirms it. It literally has every thing a good gay coming of age story should have:

Attention seeking, chugging beer in a small town bar, verbosity, half lit cigarettes, gentlemen callers leering at a pretty young thing, wrestling, trying too hard to impress Daddy.

All it's missing is a Judy tap number, a Gothic murder that shakes up the town, and some Tennessee Williams' desperate dialogue of longing.

Her stage name was Holly Golindsey.

You have to admit, he was a fetching child.

Just leaked - undercover security tape from Ms. Lindsay's DC townhouse basement. It was posted on TikTok this morning at 2:15am by DC Belle, but was quickly taken down.

Did he tell that story, the one about how some of the older regulars at the bar would through a bag of hot dogs on the floor of the bar. When little Lindsey would bring them all back "remember boy, no hands, no feet, no mouth!" the men with count them with mounting excitement. If the little fella produced all 10 hotdogs, he get to keep the all, plus a 50-cent piece.

"I talked my head off to anyone who would listen to me. People apparently found the combination of my slight stature and gabby nature comical."

This could have been written about him yesterday. He goes on ANY television show that will have him. And he's still a tiny man, even with the lifts in his shoes.

Too bad we can't link CNN here. He did an interview about his childhood and his former girlfriend in Europe with Wolf.

R136 - oh yes, the Lufthansa flight attendant Sylvia from Germany. Apparently Sylvia's mother was 'elderly' and Ms. Lindsay didn't think she would want to move to South Carolina.

They've never been able to track Sylvia down. Almost as if she didn't exist.

Some men prefer to date in Europe

R96 - “Those are my little ladybugs?” OMG

I am like to vomit

Dancing for quarters!

And, at some point every evening....because a bitch never gets a break....

“I’m your tiny dancer, a dancer for money...”

“I’m your Tony Danza, a dancer for money....”

[quote]All it's missing is a Judy tap number, a Gothic murder that shakes up the town, and some Tennessee Williams' desperate dialogue of longing.

Plus the bloodhounds snapping at her rear end.

You rang?

Who is the real "Sylvia"?

I suspect it's the one in the middle...

I imagine little Lindsey as a cross between Adore from Day of The Locust, JonBenet Ramsey, and Jessica Lange in Blue Sky.

And let's be real. Can you imagine what those men he was "entertaining" were saying behind the parent's backs???

"Gosh darnit! That little boy is as queer as a 3 dollah bill!!!!!"

Well he is pretty adorable if you can manage to get the Repuke politics out of your mind. Beautiful eyes, cute mouth...a perfect little bottom. But his politics ruin EVERYTHING...

That's the one, R137!!

r146 = Aaron Schock, auditioning for kept boy while also pretending to have changed his politics

Ten cents a dance, that's what they pay me

Gosh, how they weigh me down

Dats da suck job

R148 - I don't know what you're on about but check my posting history. Sorry, I like cute bottoms over 45. Probably one of the few around here whose dick goes limp at the incessant postings of nameless airheads with overly muscled bodies. Give me a natural man...older, hairier, even chunky but REAL. That's the whole charm of loving other men.

At his current age, he's still out there looking to please any "daddy"..hence his Trump ass-kissing.

Mizz Lindzey's tip "jar"

When the Meskins came to town each year to help with the peach crop, Lindseybelle was known to don a mantilla and one of his mother's kitchen sheer curtains while he ground out a torrid version of "Little Latin Lupe-Lu" for the workers.

Their hands were so rough ... yet caressing ...

R154 - they know good peach fuzz when they see it.

And mantillas are great for sopping up all kinds of bodily fluids. It's not only a good look, but it's practical in my line of business.

castanets and wedges...

Is Lindsey the Brick shithouse troll, by chance?

But all jokes aside, that was a pretty strange upbringing. I am pretty sure he was a cute kid, but it sounds a bit exploitative if you ask me.

From now on I’m calling him Bacha Boy.

If he'd been born later, Lindsey could have entered child beauty pageants with that routine.

R158 - well, he certainly doesn't seem to view it that way.

What's odd is that the Sanitary Cafe still exists. It looks more like a restaurant with a small bar area, and I believe it's always been that way. Hence the name - cafe.

The way he talks about it, we're led to believe it was some seedy honky-tonk. Like most things that come out of his mouth, we have to take all of this with a grain of salt.

Even the whitest of white trash wouldn't have a 4-7 year old behind or dancing on the bar late at night. He was probably in bed by 7pm or 8pm, after a couple of hours of sewing new sequins on his outfits for the next show.

Lindsey-Benet Ramsey

[quote]I would strut around the place, sometimes dressed as a cowboy — hat, vest and plastic six shooters. I might get up on the bar and walk up and down it while talking to folks. When customers went to the restroom, I might steal their beer and chug it.

A strut down the bar might be quite homosexual

Baby Lindsey is a sassy best friend!

A chat with a drunk might be quite ineffectual

But else get that sip — or don't give him lip

"Would anyone like some French tips tonight?"

@stuartpstevens Jan 17

I know Republicans who support @LindseyGrahamSC. I know people who have served and are serving with him. Many “like” him. But I’ve never come across anyone who respects Graham.

At the townhouse he shares with fellow Republican Van Hilleary, Graham shows Motsch his “garden” (a patch of dead weeds) then leads her into the living room ornamented by “eclectic antiques and full bookshelves” that came with the house. There are shrink-wrapped telephone books on the floor and a box of Cheerios and a half-eaten loaf of Pepperidge Farm whole wheat bread on the counter. “I’d take you upstairs,” Graham says, “but there’s a whole lot of underwear on the floor.”

Someone on MSNBC called his ass out today as a flip flopper. Then she said "Well, he's irrelevant."

MARY!

R162 I would have taken THAT to the basement long ago, believe me.

^ Miss Lindsey's former roomie

Ah have always had my share of gentleman callers, since I was a mere child

Who will be Lady G's new Alpha Male in the post-Dump world? He fancies himself the deal maker, but the dems hate him (of course) and other repigs will try to rid themselves of the stink of Dump (if not still trying to court his voters), which leaves the outcasts - Hawley, Cruz, Johnson, etc. Hawley & Cruz are clearly loners and the others are like the kids in school sitting in the back of the class eating their boogers.

So who will Lindsay hang with? No doubt she'll get her face all over the Sunday talk shows, but she doesn't really belong in any faction anymore.

I knew that little hussy started young. Did she do the pageants?

I can see her book signing appearances now.

"I was the Main Attraction as a child, and now, I'm the Main Event!"

Cue the remix, throw Miss Lindz a tambourine, and watch her shake what the Good Lord gave her!

[quote]Oh yes, the Lufthansa flight attendant Sylvia from Germany. Apparently Sylvia's mother was 'elderly' and Ms. Lindsay didn't think she would want to move to South Carolina.

[quote]They've never been able to track Sylvia down. Almost as if she didn't exist.

You deserve a vicious face-slapping for putting forth such a filthy libel.

Some of us have to marry OUR beards *pouts*

[quote]“I’d take you upstairs,” Graham says, “but there’s a whole lot of underwear on the floor.”

Or as he calls them, "Trophies."

I think he has a special room for the trophies. The ones on his bedroom floor didn't live up to his standards.

I met a gin soaked bar room QUEEN in Memphis 👸

Was she a little teapot? She certainly is short and stout

Does he still have his little six shooter?

Were these guys at the bar built like shit brickhouses?

Thomas Friedman:

"Lindsey Graham has danced at so many weddings."

Every night all the men would come around....

And lay their money down

Her name wasn't Silvia and she wasn't German. Her name was Alberta she came from Vancouver, she cooked like his mother and sucked like a Hoover.

If you were making a movie about the international love story between Lindsey and Sylvia, who would you cast in the lead roles?

Henry Cavill as heroic Air Force serviceman Lindsey: "I am always ready to service my countrymen!"

Mamie Gummer as sexpot stewardess Sylvia: "Shall vee join das mile high club, mein lieber Lindsey?"

And G as Sylvia's Mother, an ailing Viennese Hausfrau whose teary reunion with her wayward daughter will finally win her an Oscar: "You have abandoned your American man-whore and come home to Mutti!"

Can Henry Cavill do a Southern accent?

I'd audition him by having him repeat a line from the script until he got it right, like "What am I supposed to do with that? It's too BIG!"

I brought my old plastic six shooters to work today and those rough Capitol Police simply overreacted! They took me in a backroom and searched me ALL over! I swear I felt like I was 6 again!

[quote]I talked my head off to anyone who would listen to me.

I picture this

If he were a cool kid, I'd picture something like this:

Did the Senator's book mention on his long-standing feud with Posey McGlinn?