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Share Your Bed and Breakfast Horror Stories

Inspired by reply 78 on the Lizzie Borden thread below, I would love to hear about B&B stays from hell.

I've never been to one as I am allergic to everything about the concept. I'm the leave me the fuck alone, no enforced mingling with guests or owners, fed a ghastly breakfast "casserole", or share a terlit with strangers type.

by Regale me!reply 9102/24/2021

Breakfast was hard-boiled eggs and your choice of German muffin.

by Regale me!reply 101/14/2021

Booked a couple of nights at an Animal Sanctuary. There was a snake at the bottom of the stares leading up to my room. And bird (chicken or pheasant?) feathers scattered ALL OVER by bedroom. Yeah. I got the fuck out of there and found a regular hotel to go and regroup for the night. I had the shivers every time I thought about the snake.

by Regale me!reply 201/14/2021

"stares"

-oh, dear!

by Regale me!reply 301/14/2021

Juniper Hill Inn, Windsor VT, in 2012.

Offsite Link
by Regale me!reply 401/14/2021

The very idea of staying at a B&B fills me with horror. Why on earth anyone would find the concept appealing is totally foreign to me. Give me cold generic corporate anonymity any day.

by Regale me!reply 501/14/2021

I doubt it's still there, but about 17-18 years ago or so, a gay-run B&B opened in Manhattan somewhere in the neighborhood of 14th Street and 8th Ave (but not directly there). A friend of mine stayed there and recommended it highly, so when I needed to be in NYC on business for two weeks, I booked the place for my entire stay.

I lasted one sleepless night before I ran screaming from the place.

Some of the many issues- The bathroom was so small that I literally couldn't fit in it (and no, I'm not a fat whore). I had to pee standing outside of the bathroom and aim in. The shower area was the same- a stall that was so small that I could not fit in it properly, had to bend nearly in half to get my head wet, and water got all over the floor because of the size and the fact that I had to shower with the curtain open so I'd have room.

The bed made me itch like crazy. (This was about a year or so before bedbugs had become a problem in NYC again, and I didn't wind up bringing anything back with me, so I can't say for sure that's what it was.)

The "furniture" consisted of a bed, a bureau, a tiny, wobbly table and a lawn chair without the cushion (meaning it was a hard, sharp metal frame that hurt to sit on). I was so itchy in the bed that I wound up sitting in the chair all night, trying to sleep. I wasn't expecting The Ritz, but the photos on the website vs. the actual rooms were a complete fiction.

The minute it was light out, I left, dropped off the key at the front desk and insisted they cancel my booking with no penalty (which took some doing, but I had taken photos of the room and told them I would dispute the charges with AMEX) and then had to scramble to find hotels for the rest of the trip. (I wound up splitting my time up between three hotels and my mom's house in NJ.)

I gave my friend who recommended the place enormous shit about it. I was super pissed. But I got a somewhat decent deal at the Algonquin of all places for a few nights, then a Holiday Inn on 57th, and then the Sheraton right off Times Square. It pretty much tripled my hotel budget, but there was no fucking way I would have survived two weeks in that hellhole.

by Regale me!reply 601/14/2021

Long story short, it involved one towel and some turkey meatballs.

by Regale me!reply 701/14/2021

Oh fuck, that shithole is still in business. Here it is. And the photos are still bullshit, I'm sure.

Offsite Link
by Regale me!reply 801/14/2021

Love hearing these. I didn't know it was possible but feeling even better about my decision to avoid these hellscapes.

Sorry, forgot the Lizzie thread link I mentioned:

Offsite Link
by Regale me!reply 901/14/2021

I've only stayed in B&Bs when there wasn't anything else available.

The horror, THE HORROR, of having to eat breakfast with strangers who think that conversation is acceptable at that hour!!!

by Regale me!reply 1001/14/2021

B&Bump

by Regale me!reply 1101/15/2021

I admit I thought there would be more. Maybe most people here avoid them like the plague too, OR, they enjoy the experience.

For those that do enjoy it, what is it that makes you prefer staying at one instead of a hotel?

by Regale me!reply 1201/17/2021

Stayed one night in a B&B in London, ON while on a driving trip. The owners stayed up all night partying and the next morning breakfast was the left over dinner from the night before, while their four dogs wandered around the dining room looking for scraps.

I skipped breakfast, packed and left but not before the wife shouted after me to make sure the bed was made before I left.

by Regale me!reply 1301/17/2021

I stayed in one once, in Ireland.

It wasn't traumatic or anything, but as R5 noted

[quote]Give me cold generic corporate anonymity any day

I'd rather just stay at a cheap hotel/Holiday Inn, and have privacy, be able to come and go as I please, be able to make coffee at 3:00 A.M. if I want to, etc.

It continually AMAZES me how popular AirBNB is. No way in HELL would I stay in a place if the owner was present as well. If I were just renting the entire place then maybe, but it would have to be significantly cheaper than.a traditional hotel.

Even if you are a large group and want to save money of food by cooking, Mariott has some (I think) nice Townhouse suite places for reasonable prices that have full kitchens.

by Regale me!reply 1401/17/2021

Not a horror story, just an amusing one.

My husband and I were at a B and B in Tuscany a few years ago, and the guests were chatting over breakfast. The stories turned to the guests' various pets at home, and we mentioned that our dog at home could hear us opening his snacks from many rooms away. A woman from London at the next table said, "Oh, yes, my cats can hear me cut the cheese a mile away!" To this day, my husband talks about the look on my face as I tried to stifle a guffaw.

by Regale me!reply 1501/17/2021

As an admitted fattie, the only thing that might tempt me, as long as I could have my own bathroom, is the potential free food. But the breakfasts I've heard about sound dire. Apparently evening meals you are on your own (maybe I'm wrong about that, or it's a case by case thing) and there is only cheap wine, no booze, served with some shite cheese and Triscuits for the "host's evening reception" when you are forced to play nice with the other guests. I would love it if Christopher Guest would do one of his films centered around a long weekend of the owners and guests of a B&B.

by Regale me!reply 1601/17/2021

For the B&Bs that manage to make it through the pandemic, I hope the end result is: 1. end of communal breakfast (honestly, who wants to eat breakfast with strangers 2. Overbearing innkeepers; hopefully, from now on, they'll just check you in & keep their distance

Also, the vast amount of STUFF that tends to be in every room; in a post-COVID world, people are going to want to have to clean as few surfaces as possible, so I hope the means they'll get rid of the doilies and figurines

by Regale me!reply 1701/18/2021

Are there any B&Bs that aren't rooms with the1890s look that your great grandma would've liked?

by Regale me!reply 1801/18/2021

R6 I have a similar story, but mine took place in London. The photos showed a gorgeous modern, sleek apartment with floor to ceiling windows with breathtaking view.. The apartment I showed up to...well first, it wasn't even ready when I showed up. At 8pm (check-in was from 3pm on). So I am waiting an hour and it's not a hotel so there is no lobby. I'm sitting on my suitcase for an hour at the bottom of the stairs in this little apartment lobby. Very uncomfortable, need to pee, dying for food, dying for sleep. Then the fucker finally gives me the key and says my apartment is dah dah dah DAH! ready. So I pull my suitcase up three flights of stairs. Condoling myself with the images of the apartment from the website. It will be so nice once I'm finally IN THERE>

NOT! This place was rickety, smelled of cigar smoke, was cramped AF, sparsely furnished with old IKEA type furnishings, and no view. I was so hungry, and so tired from traveling, that I was on the verge of sobbing. Didn't even consider trying to tough it out for a night because as tired as I was the insult was worse than the pain of hunger and fatigue.

So I hunted the guy down who had handed me the key. Knocking on doors, asking "where is the guy, you know, that guy?" By now it's like 9:30 pm. Anyway, I find his apartment, and I go BALLISTIC on this guy. I finally wrung a no-penalty refund out of his sorry ass, but it took a long time of going around and around. Because the other thing these crooks do, is act like they aren't following what you're saying. They act perplexed. "Huh? This is apartment! You no like this? This is what you reserved on the computer. Huh? Yes, this is apartment!"

NO IT ISN'T, YOU ASSHOLIO!!!!!

by Regale me!reply 1901/18/2021

Not a horrid B&B, just a bizarre experience.

My ex and I stayed at a B&B in Prague once. I'm sure it was called the Villa David or something like that. Well, we went out one night for a drink and got quite merry, as drinks there were dirt cheap.

We both had to take a leak at the same time and at the urinal was a very hot guy. I said out loud "Hot ass on him", to my boyfriend. "Thank you" came the reply. "Would you both like to join me and my boyfriend for drinks?" So we did.

Turns out that it was two very sexy Scandinavian looking Finnish guys from Helsinki on holiday, with their third muscular bit of spare. They were a kind of thruple. This was about 1995, so was very Avant Garde. Anyway we have a few drinks and move to different bars, finishing up at one that looks like it was fitted out in 1970s Soviet chic!

Anyway it had a darkroom and my boyfriend comes back from exploring, and it's closing up time, to say that the two hot very hot guys at the entrance to the darkroom would love to come back with us to party, but they were both Czech hookers.

So I said to him to go and find out how much they were. Because he couldn't understand them, they wrote their price out on his hand! $30.....for both! So I said ok. Well, we ordered two taxis and crammed in them. Me, my boyfriend, the three Finnish guys and the two hookers.

When we got back to the B&B we had to buzz to be let in. Well when we came in, we were fine. The three Finnish guys were fine. But the owner made the two Czech boys sign the hotel register and photocopied their I'd cards, before letting them come up for an orgy. Was most bizarre.

But an amazing session!

by Regale me!reply 2001/18/2021

I had a similar situation to R19 in Budapest, Hungary.

I booked a studio in a B&B. Was really beautiful and sumptuous. Arrived there, guy opened up no problem, but then said that he'd double booked and I could only stay one night, not 3, but that he had a second apartment that was equally beautiful and just down the road. So I said ok, as he put the sympathy act on.

Well the second room was fucking dreadful. I told him that it was cheap, tacky, dark and inconvenient and I wanted a reduction, but he said he couldn't do that blah blah. Anyway, I stayed, but I left a rip roaring review. Saying how terrible it was.

Well a couple of months later I get an email from him, saying could I take my review down as he'd had customers cancel bookings because of my review. Yes I said, once you refund me, I'll take the review down. So he did and I took it down.

by Regale me!reply 2101/18/2021

R21 You rock so hard! Well-played.

by Regale me!reply 2201/18/2021

Yes, well played R21; I've experienced the old bait & switch maneuver too, but nothing that bad. Good on you for biding your time & not demanding immediate retribution.

by Regale me!reply 2301/18/2021

[quote] Well a couple of months later I get an email from him, saying could I take my review down as he'd had customers cancel bookings because of my review. Yes I said, once you refund me, I'll take the review down. So he did and I took it down.

This is sort of off topic, but I had a similar incident with someone I hired on TaskRabbit to do some handyman work. Long story short, I was very dissatisfied with him and left a review on Yelp which reflected it. He and his wife badgered me for months to take the review down, that it was hurting their business, tried to bribe me, threaten me, etc. But I wouldn't do it. I told him he should have thought about how he treated me if he was so worried about his business.

I hadn't heard anything from them for about a year and a half and then, at the beginning of COVID I found an email from him in my SPAM folder asking once again for me to take down the complaint. I deleted his email.

by Regale me!reply 2401/18/2021

30 or so years ago, I stayed at The Raven in New Hope. It was the first out-of-town trip with my new bf. We were given a room around the back of the place on the second floor. Two rooms there shared a staircase and a porch.

Around 3am, we were wakened by a fight next door. Loud. Fisticuffs. Door slamming. Something about a knife. Then finally some quiet when one stormed off and then the other followed.

Next thing we heard was a smoke alarm. One of them had set fire to the other's clothing and smoke was coming out from the room next door. Needless to say, we quickly got dressed and went outside.

For a gay resort town, the fire crew in New Hope was pretty disappointing. When we got back to the room it still smelled of smoke, so bf and O slept in the car. The Raven was sold out that summer Saturday night so there was no other place to sleep. We were not comped the room either.

This was in the days before online reviews, so I could not one-star them.

by Regale me!reply 2501/18/2021

Is not the proper term for these establishments flop houses?

by Regale me!reply 2601/18/2021

The B&B I stayed at in Chicago had Sauve hair products!

I recoil at the memory

by Regale me!reply 2701/18/2021

R8 I find the loathing of the Chelsea Pines really funny; I stayed there a few years ago (had never been before) and my first thought upon walking through the doors was, "This place HAS to be owned by DLers!" and I stand by that.

They had 'Blackglama' posters all over the place, FFS!

Out yourselves, Chelsea Pines queens!

by Regale me!reply 2801/18/2021

Proprietors of even good ones run out of steam after a while, so it is common that you can return to one you enjoyed earlier to find something less pleasant.

I found it confusing to check into some of these rooms. In Canada there was a code to enter into an automated lock, but the lock’s battery died, so I ended up texting and trying to find a way to check in (pitch black dead of night, cold rain). Other times I met up with gruff, stern proprietors. It was always a mixed bag.

Even pre-pandemic I switched back to Hampton Inn or Fairfield Inn because they wash all of the bedding and offer decent WiFi and breakfast (you can get coffee, yogurt, bagel - skip the eggs and meat because they’re sometimes powdered or frozen and refrozen).

Some B&B owners tend to be cranky types, or (worse) meddling raconteurs. Pricing can be arbitrary and exploitive, too. A few are charming and cozy, but probably offline due to Covid (no food served, no coffee served, or maybe a muffin wrapped in plastic)

by Regale me!reply 2901/18/2021

I hate hate hate B&Bs. I've tried to give them a shot, but they are NOT for me. Often, they are overpriced, located in rundown properties, and not a great option for anyone who values their privacy.

The worst one I've stayed in was in Washington, DC. I won't say the name because the person who ran it was quite nice, but despite being more expensive than the average hotel...it was a dump. It was in a rundown mansion and the room and it's furnishings were quite dated. Also, you could hear every sound in the hallway and the floors creaked.

Oh, and every B&B I've been to has made breakfast a nightmare. I am not a morning person, so I really don't need to be stuck at a table with people I don't know talking about the most inane shit. All I want is coffee, quiet, and a newspaper.

by Regale me!reply 3001/18/2021

I think that I like the idea of B&Bs, but they do tend to disappoint and do have disadvantages over hotels nowadays.

Another ex of mine used to write for a gay magazine and was commissioned to write a gay travel review of Cardiff, Wales.

Well we got the train over and it was running late for one reason, so instead of arriving at 6:30 it arrived at 7:30. Well it was clear by 5:45 that we were gonna be late, do I called ahead to let the B&B know, we were unavoidably running late.

"That's not good enough" came the reply. "I'm sorry?" I replied. "It's not a good enough excuse" the proprietor said. "I don't have a night porter, what do you expect me to do? Wait for you?" "Well yes" I said. "We're still coming, but we'll be a little late. I didn't think 7:30 was too late to check in?" I said. "Yes it is, but I'll wait for you. Don't be later" he said.

Needless to say, my ex wrote a great review about Cardiff's nightlife and vibe and gave the B&B a justly deserved dire review.

by Regale me!reply 3101/18/2021

R31 Exactly. Many “hosts” at B&B’s are easily tipped over by basic guest interactions. Especially during peak seasons in places like Nantucket or The Berkshires. There is a usually a meanness and a lot of brow-mopping, like opening a B&B was a prison sentence.

Some grouching might be residual, from a patter of difficult guests that preceded your visit. You can hear traces of these when the host mutters “be careful of the walls carrying your suitcase up the stairwell” and “make sure your car isn’t blocking our neighbor or you’ll be towed at your own expense”. In some cases it gets seedier (“don’t flush anything but toilet tissue!”). It can feel luck visiting a mean, broke relative, tough love without the love. P.S. And shitty technology, too (“y’ah...we had to run your credit card twice before we got a confirmation. If you see a double charge, write us a note and we’ll try to issue a credit in a few weeks...”)

by Regale me!reply 3201/18/2021

r10 Oh my god. I couldn't agree more.

by Regale me!reply 3301/18/2021

Years and years ago when Key West was still gay, so the late 1970's, my friend Dennis and I saw some deal on cheap tickets - I think it was $99 each in F class to Florida so we went to Miami for a week figuring we'd split our time between the beach and the Keys. I rented a car, we drove to Key West, and stayed at a gay B&B called Casa Donovan, the proprietor of which was a gay porn star named Casey Donovan. We thought the place was great - there was a hot tub, a nude sundeck, and everything was spotlessly clean - but it was late April so fairly quiet. I think we saw the guest who had been there checking out as we checked in.

Anyway, the owner didn't have much to do with just the two of us staying there. We saw him when we came back from dinner the last night, we drank some more with him pouring generously, and one thing led to another. We ended up spit-roasting him. No extra charge, either. Had there been on-line ratings then, we'd have definitely given the place five stars.

by Regale me!reply 3401/18/2021

[quote] The B&B I stayed at in Chicago had Sauve hair products!

Oh, dear!

by Regale me!reply 3501/18/2021

[quote] [R8] I find the loathing of the Chelsea Pines really funny; I stayed there a few years ago (had never been before) and my first thought upon walking through the doors was, "This place HAS to be owned by DLers!" and I stand by that. They had 'Blackglama' posters all over the place, FFS!

That's a pisser, Sylvia. I don't remember Blackgama posters (they may have come later), just the campy movie posters all over the place. And that I wanted to kidnap their poor cat and save him from living in such shame.

by Regale me!reply 3601/18/2021

R36 The Blackglama posters were in the stairwells. There was no cat at my visit, but the campy posters remained -- I was lodged in The Ann Margaret themed room. See? DLers!

by Regale me!reply 3701/18/2021

I'm anti-social, but enjoyed my BnB experiences.

Upsides: Food (breakfast, snacks) really was tasty & a nice change from chain motels & hotels. The room & bathroom (Victoria Island) were very clean and nicer than the average hotel.

Downsides: One host was a bit chatty / tiring (and I actually don't mind a bit of chatting). Bed looked cute (sleigh bed frame) but was lumpy.

by Regale me!reply 3801/18/2021

[quote] The Blackglama posters were in the stairwells.

Ah. I was on the first floor in the back. Oh god, just the thought of it 16+ years later still skeeves me.

by Regale me!reply 3901/18/2021

Glastonbury, England.

Not a horror story, but...

The bathroom was down the hall and because I didn't want to keep going of course I had to keep going. I remember the soap was bits of old used up soap stuck together. That's a very old fashioned English sort of miserliness. "Waste not, want not!" mentality.

Worst of all...every time I went to the bathroom, the woman who owned the house would come out of her bedroom and lurk on the landing below. I couldn't see here, but I could HEAR her. This went on ALL night.

by Regale me!reply 4001/18/2021

Air b&b has taken over any bed and breakfast inns in the travel industry. Its not popular anymore because of lack of technology in traditional b&b’s and other lacking amenities.

by Regale me!reply 4101/18/2021

I’ve never stayed in one but I just moved into an Bed and Breakfast hot bed! My partner and I bought a house this year in a small historic neighbourhood (probably around 90-100 houses) that is essentially in the downtown of our not at all touristy medium-sized city in flyover Canada. Back at the turn of the century it was the “original suburb” and the prosperous city fathers built mansions on what were originally acre lots. Those lots were subdivided at various points during the first half of the 20th century - so the neighbourhood is a mashup of late Victorian and Edwardian mansions, Tudor revivals and cottage style homes from the 20s and 30s and 1950s ranch bungalows. Of the dozen or so big original mansions, probably more than half are run as bed and breakfasts (another couple are owned by a religious cult) - and I’m convinced there must be a bunch of drama and backbiting among the owners in terms of competing for the very niche market, however, I think they led the pretty much lead the charge around here and we’re successful in getting the neighbourhood a heritage designation to ensure it’s entirely residential character - except for a smallish private high school (a shared enemy of the BnB brigade who vigorously oppose any building proposed expansion) and a smallish Carnegie library (a shared darling of the BnB owners and whose expansion they have tirelessly advocated and fundraised).

by Regale me!reply 4201/18/2021

When I was 24 I lived a horror story while at one in southern Illinois. The owner was a crazy old bitch who gave me the creeps. She had long tits that hung down to her waist. She wanted to have sex with me because she kept knocking on my bedroom door asking me if I was bored or lonely. I told her to leave me alone. She did for about 2 hours then came back knocking on my door asking me “where’s the box”? I opened the door and replied “what box”? She said “The box you were standing on to lick peanut butter out of the cow’s asshole”! I then grabbed my stuff and left.

by Regale me!reply 4301/18/2021

I stayed in one with an ex some years ago. We had driven all day and were desperate to get some sleep. As soon as we entered the house I felt a little uneasy. The owner was a bit irritable with us, and left us to it as soon as he could. As we climbed the stairs we noticed that there was a Victorian style doll on every step. The bedroom was a riot of cuddly toys and even more dolls. It occurred to us that it looked like the house of a man with an unhealthy interest in little girls, which freaked us out. We were too tired to look for somewhere else, and it was late.There were two double beds in the room. In the morning he practically threw our breakfast at us. He must have seen that we had shared a bed. We left immediately after breakfast.

by Regale me!reply 4401/18/2021

My horror one was a BnB near Heathrow airport about 20 years ago. A family with several kids were using 2 bedrooms as bnb rooms. During the night the teenage son got night terrors and came out of his room roaring and beating on doors. I mean you couldn't tell guests about this when he is known to have this condition? Then at 6am the kids started getting up fighting, screeching, knocking things over while the parents started fucking, the fucking lasted about 4 minutes and ended up with dad going 'uuuuuugggghhhh good girl'. Then breakfast was at a second table in the dining room while the family ate at a large table.

I have no idea where my parents found this place, we didn't have internet so I guess it was harder to vet a place.

Now in recent years in the US I have discovered places that call themselves bnbs but are really more like small boutique hotels. You don't see the owners, the rooms are hotel standard, the residents have their own dining room, they have little extras like fresh cookies in the afternoon, free bikes, wine hour at night. I have found them in places like Carmel and Napa Valley and little seaside towns in Oregon. Those I love as a solo traveler.

by Regale me!reply 4501/18/2021

The BnBs I stayed at in London were nightmares. Dirty, sad toilet and bathing accomodations, and at one place, theft. Generally I prefer the anonymity and consistency of the hotel experience. However, I agree with R45) about the small boutique inns that call themselves BnBs. There are some nice ones in the Hudson River Valley and Virginia as well.

by Regale me!reply 4601/18/2021

If I see doilies and Victoriana on a BnB website I run.

by Regale me!reply 4701/18/2021

Some good stuff here. Thanks all!

by Regale me!reply 4801/18/2021

Has anyone tried staying at special-interest-themed B&Bs? Or B&Bs catering to a specific group, other than the usual "gay-owned"?

by Regale me!reply 4901/18/2021

I've not personally. I always used to try and stay in a gay B&B, and spend my pink pounds with pink businesses.

Back in the pre internet days, I used to buy a trusty, annual Spartacus Gay Guide, and thumb through it's thick tissue paper thin pages. Even that's gone online now.

Hotels were more expensive back in the 80s and 90s and not so homo friendly. Whereas, a gay B&B was a more knowing when you checked in with your latest beau. Nowadays, hotel chains offer good quality rooms at affordable prices. No stern looking, disapproving receptionist, to negotiate either, as you check in with your latest twink for a weekend of fun.

I have got themed B&B things like a murder mystery weekend or staying at a Scottish castle type of themed thing to do, but I'm saving that for later in life.

Offsite Link
by Regale me!reply 5001/18/2021

[quote]My horror one was a BnB near Heathrow airport about 20 years ago.

Why on earth would you stay at a B&B near the airport?

Where on earth are there B&Bs "near the airport"?

by Regale me!reply 5101/18/2021

The owners are almost always irritable. With the best of intentions they bought a house too big and too expensive, and they financed their dream on the backs of paying guests.

Few historic houses have one bathroom to one bedroom, and so the B&B owners add pokey little bathrooms with strange plumbing because a room with a bath is more easily and more expensively filled with guests.

The hosts move from the nice front part of the house to a ratty little hole of a former maid's bedroom above the kitchen, opening more rooms for more guests.

The hosts have rules. Lots of rules. About jiggling the toilet handle, not flushing the toilet after a certain hour, shutting the sink faucets off completely, not putting camp towels anywhere but on the hooks provided ("Thank you!"), not moving the chairs or small tables, unplugging the water immersion kettle, helpful detailed pointers on how each latch and doorknob works, entreaties to close the doors gently, to only set coffee cups and drinks on the glass topped desk, that breakfast is served at exact hours and that orders are due 18 hours in advance, etc. The rules are printed on little slips of paper and placed fucking everywhere. On the pillows. And there are dozens too many pillows, and noted asking you kindly not to move them.

The owners' financial shortcomings mean that they only have one or two rooms somewhat decently furnished, the rest are a shambles of vintage shop shit, everything in a sorry state and looking like a place where old people go to die instead of the luxurious accomodations presented in the the online photos.

The longer the owners have the place the more obsessive they become about rules. And order. They become very sour and begrudging in short order.

And these are the best, the most expensive, the highest rated ones.

They're too forced intimate, too little sense if privacy, to uncomfortable with the thousand little rules everywhere, and too often shabby compared to some carefully composed photos. And who wants to stay with bitter hosts - it would be like staying the night with random posters of random threads on DL.

There are a very few exceptions, but mostly I would prefer an historic hotel or an inn, or a new/er building of interesting architecture,, someplace run in a professional way. The standards are higher and less "personal" without the grouchy owner eyeballing your comings and goings from his bank of security cameras, reminding you of the house rules.

by Regale me!reply 5201/18/2021

R52 is exactly right. It's such a shame, because with the advent of Covid, international leisure travel is going to become more expensive and more difficult. So staycations are going to become more popular. This is a great opportunity for the B&B sector to make some $$.

The problem will be though, what R52 set out. Too many establishments with too few real amenities.

by Regale me!reply 5301/19/2021

R52 That hate post of yours was positively dreamy!

by Regale me!reply 5401/19/2021

My mother in law had a B&B in a quaint little east coast village for about 10 yrs. There weren't any hotel options and this is before Air B&B. She competed with other B&Bs and historic Inns. We stayed there a few times. Yes it was victorian fussy but was part of the ambience. I would only do B&B under these circumstances. Otherwise boutique hotel or respectable chain. I am not a fan of Air B&B but have done it.

by Regale me!reply 5501/19/2021

Not a B&B horror story but a WHORE story. Husband and I stayed in a charming gay-owned inn in Sharon Springs, NY.

Owners were a pair of hot daddies but one was away that weekend. After a wonderful dinner in the restaurant, we had drinks at the bar with one of the owners, and next thing we know we're fucking in our room, the first time husband and I had ever had a 3way.

It was HOT!

by Regale me!reply 5601/19/2021

I hope you left a rave review R56

by Regale me!reply 5701/20/2021

Back in '96, my father decided the whole family would go with him to a board meeting in Salt Lake City, and then we would see Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, etc. We stayed in SLC in an Embassy Suites and everything went fine. My father had then booked B&Bs for the remainder of the road trip. The first one in Wyoming was a very 70s house where the B&B was on the main level, and the lady hosting lived downstairs. The kicker was that one of the "rooms" was an old covered wagon probably 100 meters from the house. Literally it was just a wagon covered in tarp with no heat or A/C, and no locking door. Since I was the only boy, she told my father I would probably enjoy staying out there. She made the mistake of telling me to watch out for snakes, at which point I said no way. (It also got down to about 55F the nights we stayed there.) I think I slept on the couch in the living room. One day when she went left to do errands, nosey gayling me decided to snoop down in her downstairs part of the house. A narrow, metal spiral staircase behind a door took me down to her part of the house, and it was a hoarder's paradise reeking of cigarette smoke. Once we left there and continued on our sightseeing journey, we stayed with another family in a very humble house where I recall the father hosting us wanting to play catch with me out in the yard. I'm as uncoordinated as they come, so my lesbian sister stepped in and played catch with him while I critiqued the lack of interior design in the house.

Polar opposite: Stonehurst Place in Atlanta is the definition of a fine B&B. Warhol prints on the walls, homemade desserts as a welcome treat, and a gourmet breakfast served in the dining room. I've put my parents up there twice and they raved about it each time. (The owner is a lesbian, for those who make a point of patronizing gay-owned B&Bs.)

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by Regale me!reply 5801/20/2021

There are some nice B&Bs too. I love Stars Guesthouse in Berlin. Really nice rooms, hosts are lovely and great location in the gay village.

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by Regale me!reply 5901/20/2021

R41 Air B&B is mainly vacation rentals. It has deviated far, far away from the original model, a funky couch surfing site.

by Regale me!reply 6001/20/2021

R60 I remember going to an Airbnb or the German equivalent in Stuttgart, Germany back in the day and it was the old style, where someone had a spare room and literally rented it out for the night. My ex an I slept on what was a sofa bed basically. It was like $15 so it was just cheap and cheerful. I remember lots of books and pot plants in the room and the weird sofabed was bloody uncomfortable.

by Regale me!reply 6101/20/2021

[quote]Air B&B is mainly vacation rentals. It has deviated far, far away from the original model, a funky couch surfing site.

If I'm staying a week or so in one city, I like the idea of staying in an apartment, of having space enough to spread out a bit without it being a choice of bed or one of two chairs. But I want a private apartment and one furnished to a good standard, not the standard Ikea melamine box-kit furniture of most AirBnB properties. There are people who don't mind roughing it to travel and others who would rather stay home than sleep on some stranger's funky, crusty couch. I'm in the latter camp, and don't like staying with friends even unless they have space enough that I will not be in their way.

From 2019, AirBnB was trying to establish a "Luxe" channel for its better properties. Surely Covid will have some effect on the company overall. With the rash of investment properties operated as AirBnB spaces and traditional hotels moving in their own directions, it will be interesting to see where things land (design conscious budget rooms of smaller size and few but well designed features, the reinvention of lobby spaces, a firmer division of expense account business hotels and leisure travelers' and weekenders' hotels, etc.) But in that mix, the traditional fussy, frilly, vaguely Victorian, overstuffed with dollies and doilies and ugly fabrics and pissy little flowers everywhere seems likely to be squeezed out of the market in many places. If they want to survive, the model of operations and decor probably needs to change radically.

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by Regale me!reply 6201/21/2021

I think future issues for the whole of the hospitality sector will be around keeping guests safe when staying. I think we're going to see a lot more minimalist rooms with fewer surfaces for maids to have to clean. Also I can see shared toilet and bathroom facilities being unpopular because of Covid transmission issues.

Staff absence due to Covid will be problematic for the sector. Small B&Bs with ensuite facilities, may actually become attractive again.

by Regale me!reply 6301/21/2021

Ogunquit Maine has great B&B’s. Never a complaint.

by Regale me!reply 6401/21/2021

Oh, god. I got tricked by my sister into staying at a BnB north of Duluth years ago. She was SO SURE I'd love the place. She bragged that she knew the owners personally, and that they'd offered us a great deal for the weekend.

So I went with her, and oh, god. First, it was right on Hwy 61 north of Duluth. That's the primary route to/from the North Shore of Lake Superior, so even though we were several miles out of town, the roar of traffic was deafening. It was right across the street from Lake Superior - except that it was on top of a sheer embankment, so if you risked running across the highway, there was no way to get down to the lake.

They were still working on the property when we were there. The front lawn was torn up while they were landscaping it, so there was no way to walk around on the (very steep and hilly) lawn.

As for the building itself - anyone who's stayed in an old resort or cabin knows the pervasive aroma of old, poorly insulated, decaying building. Sure, they'd repainted the interior, but the smell remained. And this place looked to be a small house with a breezeway abutting what looked to have been a small bait shop in a past existence. They'd turned the bait shop into a dark, cave-like gift shop. The breezeway was converted into an uncomfortably narrow "breakfast nook".

But the rooms were the worst. Every room was decorated in a North Woods theme taken to extreme. The beds were built of unpeeled birch trees, so the frames were huge and bulky, and so high, you had to jump in the air in order to (hopefully) land on the bed). No step stools to help you get up there. No side tables, and the light switches were way over by the door, so you had to turn the light off and jump in the dark, banging your shin on the goddamned scratchy birch tree trunks.

My sister's room had a big dream catcher hanging in the corner. My room had another giant dead birch tree stuck in a pot, with strings of miniature lights through the branches. Sure, pretty, but again - you had to slide out of bed and run over to the tree to turn it off before you could get any sleep. And how the hell were they gonna dust the branches of a birch tree?

Bathrooms were ancient and barely adequate, with the rural septic aroma.

And for all that, they charged the absolute earth for their accommodations. I was enraged, and told my sister I couldn't afford it and I wanted to leave. She ended up paying for it herself. Oh, and the owners that she supposedly knew personally? She greeted them at check-in, and they made it plain they had no idea who the hell she was. That attitude remained during the weekend. As has been mentioned upthread, there's a certain glum personality of the typical BnB owner, who either was forced into the business to pay the mortgage, or who thought it was gonna be a fun career, only to discover too late how awful it is.

Frankly, I'd rather camp out in the woods. Or sleep in my car before I'd set foot in another BnB.

by Regale me!reply 6501/21/2021

R65 you had me at Duluth....

by Regale me!reply 6601/21/2021

The one that springs to mind was a chateau somewhere in France. I love historic houses and chatateaux, but most of the chateau B and Bs are very pricey, well over €100 a night. This one was only €65 and the photos looked good. The room and bathroom were fine and the photos were accurate, but the whole place reeked of tomcat urine. My husband and I are HUGE cat lovers but the odour was just awful. What I couldn't understand was how no one had mentioned this in the reviews.

by Regale me!reply 6701/21/2021

^^Um, because it was France?

by Regale me!reply 6801/22/2021

r65 LOVE your recollection. Evocative writing too. Many of these stories are written that way, as well as informative. Thanks everyone who didn't let this wee little thread wither out. I feel guilty asking for more, but not THAT guilty. Hint, hint.

by Regale me!reply 6901/22/2021

Bumping without shame!

by Regale me!reply 7001/31/2021

My boyfriend and I stayed at one in Palm Springs when we were in our 20s.

During dinner, the gay hosts kept asking if we wanted massages while we were there. And then kept walking past our glass door in back, looking in.

While we were in bed in the dark, we could hear someone trying to open the door. But we had moved furniture in front of it.

Never again.

by Regale me!reply 7101/31/2021

The first B&B I ever stayed at had my favorite amenity ever... small breakfast tables! It was a place in London, and they'd serve a half-full English breakfast to me at a small table, where I didn't have to talk to strangers before I'd had enough coffee to face the world.

Regardless of rooms, if you're not a morning person, NEVER stay at a place that has a big communal breakfast table.

by Regale me!reply 7201/31/2021

Stayed in one place where the pillow cases were FILLED WITH FRESH DRYER SHEETS between the pillow and the cases. VILE!

Stayed on the sweltering top floor of one of those narrow houses in Amsterdam. Opened the windows for air and let in 1000s of mosquitoes from the canal. Walls were covered with old bloody spots and mashed mosquitoes. Drunkard snoring in the next room sounded like he was next to my ear. No sleep two nights in a row, nearly barfed up my breakfast.

by Regale me!reply 7302/01/2021

R72 That sounds like the Ebury Court Hotel near Victoria Station. It was located in a row house. Many tiny tables and a delicious full English breakfast served in a room on the underground level. It was spoiled for me when it was taken over from family ownership by the Forte Hotel Chain and "modernized".

by Regale me!reply 7402/01/2021

I was with a date at a spa famous for mud baths in Calistoga, CA; it was during the winter, so there was only one other guest, who we were told was there, but didn't see until breakfast the next morning. It was Joan Collins, and seeing that without make-up before you've had a couple cups of strong coffee was certainly a horror. She was very pleasant, though, and funny.

by Regale me!reply 7502/01/2021

I've always had good experiences at B and Bs. Most were the Victorian mansions buyne was an urban loft. Owner dropped off coffee, juice and a basket of assorted muffins. The Victorians were sit downs and we always lucked out having the place to ourselves. One owner was a gay guy who was super sweet and taking care of his dying partner who was ensconced in one wing of the house.

by Regale me!reply 7602/01/2021

I stayed in one outside of Woodstock Vermont a few years back. It was falling apart and the couple who ran it were mentally handicapped. I wanted to haul ass the second I stepped through the door but I felt bad and decided to give it a go. The bed was extremely comfortable but I woke up to a screaming match downstairs. Outside of the dining room I heard the wife berating the only other guest. It was hard to make out what she was saying but from what I gathered, it seemed the guest was a vegetarian and the woman refused to make her a breakfast sandwich without meat. I checked out a few hours later and as I was leaving I heard the husband call me a “cocksucka” under his breath.

by Regale me!reply 7702/01/2021

Bumping because I could use some horror stories to distract from the horror story that is my life.

by Regale me!reply 7802/22/2021

[quote]A family with several kids were using 2 bedrooms as bnb rooms. During the night the teenage son got night terrors and came out of his room roaring and beating on doors. I mean you couldn't tell guests about this when he is known to have this condition? Then at 6am the kids started getting up fighting, screeching, knocking things over while the parents started fucking, the fucking lasted about 4 minutes and ended up with dad going 'uuuuuugggghhhh good girl'.

I can't stop laughing at this.

by Regale me!reply 7902/22/2021

Pre-Internet bookings, pre-online reviews and photos, I stayed in a gay B&B in Provincetown. Nice hosts and a hadsome young guy who kept the place running, friendly and available but not needy or hovering, pleasant and spacious room insofar as the space and furnishings went. What was disturbing is that in an otherwise nicely chaste Cape Cod aesthetic they had cluttered every surface with strange cloth dolls, modern things handmade by someone, I suppose, but ugly as fuck and everywhere. And where there wasn't a doll on a sofa or chair or bed, there were little overstuffed cushions, plump and ready to burst at the seams it seemed, larger versions of those sateeny Holiday Peppermint Pillow candies that old women used to have on offer in dusty glass bowls in their houses.

Not wanting to face this grim lot lot, I stuffed them all into the top of a closet. Out of sight, out of mind. But no; every time I left the room and returned, the dolls would have been put back each exactly in the same position as before, and the same with the ridiculous little ornamental pillows. I would have to shove them again into the closet, or empty drawers, or hide them behind a piece of furniture. A couple of times I left the room only to return a few minutes later having forgotten something and there they would be, the dollies and mini-cushions restored to their places by some dark magic. I think I may have left a note asking that they be kept out of sight for the duration of my stay, but the note was the one request that was overlooked except that the puffed up pillows were never returned to the bed.

The illustration below is of an unrelated place but a typical nightmare "Victorian" B&B (Hollerstownhill.com, if you dare.) A nice house, but the inside a complete disaster of revolting Victorian-esque wallpaper, bad Chinese rugs in florid colors, hideous Rococo Revival Revival not from the 1840s-50s but 1960s bad repros of Belter furniture at 3/4 scale. Everywhere there are panels of ugly lace, all mixed with 1960s surf'n'turf restaurant "Colonial" furniture bought outside an abandoned gas station and various thrift shop "finds" and dolls and more lace and more dolls and figurines and useless undersized pillows everywhere and just a horrible collection of shit, not more than a couple of pieces of something of any age and then of no quality. The owner always runs out of money and fills the space with old shit of no value whatsoever, thinking that that is somehow a fittingly fussy and feminized "Victorian" when it is anything but.

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by Regale me!reply 8002/23/2021

This is so great r80 thank you for feeding our beast.

by Regale me!reply 8102/23/2021

They're BLOODY FUCKING AWFUL!

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by Regale me!reply 8202/23/2021

R80, sometimes I think people buy Victorian houses to house their Victorian doll collection, then can’t afford the house without turning it into a BnB.

What happens if they rent a room to a little girl and she wants to play with all those fragile China dolls? A modern kid wouldn’t understand they break.

by Regale me!reply 8302/23/2021

FRAU ALERT AT R83!

by Regale me!reply 8402/23/2021

Thank God I'm not the only one horrified at the thought of staying at a B&B....When I travel I want my privacy and usually book an extra day or two to be a bar slut....I.could never Share a bathroom or worry about sneaking in at an ungodly hour

by Regale me!reply 8502/23/2021

[quote]I've never been to one as I am allergic to everything about the concept. I'm the leave me the fuck alone, no enforced mingling with guests or owners, fed a ghastly breakfast "casserole", or share a terlit with strangers type.

Same here. Staying at a B&B sounds awful to me. Give me a hotel room, thank you.

by Regale me!reply 8602/23/2021

I found the chocolate mint on my pillow...MELTED!

by Regale me!reply 8702/23/2021

The few times I have stayed at at B&B (not in decades now), it's always easy to find one with en suite baths. They may have a couple of shared bath rooms though often those are the only two or three rooms in the upper floor of a back wing or something of the sort, and are suggested as an economical option for friends or family traveling together.

Even the B&B owners recognize no one wants to share a toilet with the the strangers you heat whispering about you from the next guest room.

The downside of this can be the plumbing of those fadded-in en suites: the step up to the bathroom, the very strange and tiny shower, the toilets with ungodly complicated and noisy vacuum motors to flush up, the mean little stack of towels on the too shallow shelf directly above the toilet, or the huge claw foot bathtub in the guest room in the bay window... And those pesky little in a cursive font printed on yellowed laserjet paper, signs everywhere: "Please read instructions in House Rules book before flushing toilet", "please respect your neighbors and hosts by not flushing toilet after 9PM", "Respect the environment! Reuse your towels and dry only on the towel bars please. NOT ON FURNITURE!", "Please conserve use of hot water!!!"

It's the fucking signs that drive me mad.

by Regale me!reply 8802/23/2021

There are many very good B&B’s out there with private bathrooms in the room. No shared bathrooms. I wouldn’t stay at one with a shared shitter. And the ones I’ve stayed at have spaced apart dining tables even pre covid. Do your homework.

by Regale me!reply 8902/24/2021

No way am I using a shared bathroom. This isn't the third world for fuck's sake.

by Regale me!reply 9002/24/2021

Went with ex for New Years back in 1993 or so in "gay friendly" B & in Eureka Springs, AR. Ended up with 3 fundie straight couples from Tulsa and breakfast was awkward, to say the least and my ex was pretending we weren't together!..Now; laughable!

by Regale me!reply 9102/24/2021
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