A VERY Special Larry King Special: "My Own Impending Demise" Show of Shows!

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We're back talking about all the women that I've romanced.

The list is long and the ladies with broken hearts could fill a convention hall. In fact, maybe we should have that convention in the next weekend.

You hear that doctors. I'm booked for next weekend. So, you gotta get me well for by then. I wouldn't want to have to show up there connected to a vibrator.

But first, we've got Joey Heatherton to talk about how I was the love of her life. After Joey, we've got Carol Lynley talking about how she stalked he for years trying to win me back.

And later, Katie Couric will be here to talk about how she threw herself on me, dying to have my penis.

Yes, my penis has always been in high demand. So join us after this message from Viagra.

But Liz did you know Rock was gay even before he got COVAIDS?

I shall be his first guest in the afterlife.

I'm up for an interview.

On the line from the world's showdown, Las Vegas, Nevada, it's OJ, the Juice. Mr. Juice, I'm potential facing the big guy in the sky, but let me ask, if the glove doesn't fit, do I have to quit?

Seriously JJ, did you ever get a taste of your daughter's sister, Kim? You had a right to that badonkadonka. JJ, you're the man. From Good Times to Bad times, you're dyn-o-mite! Was Easter Roll talking about your sold when she repeated Damn Damn! Any plans for the next decades? Has Trump called about his new network?

Lizsha , what would you want me To tell your Mother , Debbie Reynolds ?

Up next -- Nancy Reagan's personal astrologer to the stars will share with us what's in store for Abe Vigoda and Leona Helmsley this year. We'll also have musical guests Milli Vanilli and a very special appearance by Mr. Ernest Borgnine. But first, a word from our friends at our favorite restaurant chain, Po'Folks.

My (gasp) sponsor (gasp) sent (choke) this (cough) cigar (hack) and (it's) a (gasp) real (haaaaaaacccccckkkk) beaut.

Okay, (wheeze) who's (cough) next? (kaaaaak).

Larry, listen, baby. I know you have the fear. I can help.

Have Mrs. Eight pull together some cash - about fifty-five thou will do, and I'll have Damont come pick it up in the hospital lobby. And I will use that money to arrange with the angels to pull you out of your agnostic Jewish shit and drop you right into the lap of Jesus.

Do it. Larry. Joan Rivers did.

Here to help! And can I get my black leather stevedore pants back, puhlease, before you, you know, become what you look like? They never did much good for you.

Hurry! You know time's awasting.

Next up, we have Betty Miller here to serenade me, just like she did Merv.

Betty, so sorry you didn't win the Oscar for The Daisy. You deserved it. Not that Norma Rae creature.

Can I have your giant Lite Brite set background?

Folks, we've got a very special show for you tonight. I've just been informed that the great dancer Anthony Fauci will be stopping by, so we'll have a chance to ask him if he misses his war-time girlfriend, Gwen from Verdun. Later, the hottest new singers, the Duo Lipa, will help insert my breathing tube.

And to conclude this special show, First Lady Marla Lago will wave to us.

Poughkeepsie, I love ya!

Welcome back. We're reporting live tonight from Mara Lago, where the president and his family is throwing a Masked Ball.

I gotta say, the masks I've seen are so lifelike and real. Not that plastic stuff you typically think of for Halloween. But genuinely real and humanlike. Amazing how far technology has come.

I just saw a guy who looked exactly like Don Jr. The mask was perfect, even down to the facial hair. I wonder who was under that mask.

And I even saw someone dressed up in a My Pillow guy Mike Lindell mask. Looked precisely like the guy you see in the commercials. My first reaction was to walk over and ask what kind of deals he could offer me for a new set of pillows. But then I realized it was someone in a mask! My bad!