Being fat and gay is a fate worse than death

Ok, I'm 220. But I'm losing weight

Fat cunt.

[quote]Now I know what it feels like to be a fattie.

Seems like you’ve known for a while.

Can you still your penis when you pee?

You’re not fat enough for the chasers.

Aim for 250 and you’ll have to swat the dicks away.

[quote]I proceeded to eat half a pound cake in my despair afterwards.

Well, that's not going to help you OP. Half pound cak equals another 2 pounds on your waist. Go for a walk fatty!

Thin = cock.

NativeNYer thread??

You’re one Grommr membership away from having to beat the guys off with a (pepperoni) stick.

I love how people toss around the word "thick" now. Gurl you're obese, maybe not Chrissy Metz obese but fat none the less.

You're 33? Your problem isn't your weight, it's because you're now an eldergay. Stop going after guys in their 20s, they don't way you, old man.

Fat but thin-skinned.

Now now. OP just has to be sensible over the holidays, and come up with a diet/exercise regimen for January.

He can change his slight puffiness... but the rest of you cannot change your EVIL HEARTS!

Age and weight. They both seem to curve in the same way. I don't know if it is the culture, my attitude or something else (like my standards), But my luck has gotten better since I hit 50. Maybe they think I have money?

You went to a hook up app and you got what I’d expect you to get. . It’s ALL about looks / physical attributes on those apps. Swipe left and pick the best looking, biggest cock, etc.

[quote]Being fat and gay is a fate worse than death

Well, I think being fat and dead is pretty bad too.

I fuck fat guys

you have a bmi of 31, YOU'RE OBESE!

Pound cake is a balm that heals all wounds.

Fat isn't great. But being poor and sick and ugly - the trifecta.

You can always lose weight but there is no cure for being an asshole. Enjoy the cake and know that it's not worth giving them any air. It's not worth it.

R12 If OP's body was as thin as his skin, he'd be in the ICU, being fed through a tube.

Ask for a big piece of the Christmas lasagna that is described in another thread.

[quote] I'm 5'10 and 215 lbs.

This guy is also 5'10 and 215 lbs.

Add baldness and maybe I’ll listen.

R24 Wow, just imagine being pounded by that guy! He could pick me up, I am sure!

R25 Also add a small dick!

Being a fat chick is bad- yes they may get laid easily but they don’t want to be laid as much as they want 💕

"Being fat and gay is a fate worse than death"

You've never been dead, have you? Do you know I'm surrounded by little a bunch of demons that look like this and are shrieking all the time?

Wrong.

# alounge

OP find guys that like thick phat guys. bigger city. plenty of places. honestly, I love it because it's a smaller market of chasers but many are HAWT and are often straight acting or even bi/married who love a thicker guy. And some are tops and some are bottoms so you have a lot of options.

I get a lot more hot men as a chubby 5'10 230 than I did as a winky 5'10 165.

We’re the same age.I gained about 70 pounds in the past 3 years after a particularly bad breakup. I’m a little taller than you, at 6’2 240. But I’m still fucking the same caliber of guys as before.i I asked a friend about it, and he says he was attracted to my face and confidence more than my body. Also I’m a top and black. (That probably helps.)These guys are all sluts. They don’t care, really. I don’t know if I’ll even bother with trying to lose weight.

When you PP is fat sometimes it makes up for your tummy being that way...

Just work out and eat well. It’s not that hard, OP! If you can’t do that, just buy a dildo and stop bothering people on Grindr.

How good are your photos OP? And how recent?

If the 24 year old was expecting someone 160 pounds and got 220 thats why you got the brushoff.

It pays to do full disclosure and be honest - because as seen elsewhere in this thread some guys actually like chubby guys. And those that dont wont be disappointed

OP, there are a lot of snarky, asshole answers here, it is the Data Lounge, of course, and you probably knew that would happen. But these aren't even clever or funny.

In all seriousness, your initial statement 'Being fat and gay is a fate worse than death', telegraphs that you believe you have no power to be a different weight, like it's something that was done to you, or something over which you have no control like a congenital deformity. It's not. Yes, our gay culture is full of body snobbery, and that's not going to change. But you don't have to have an underwear model's body to be sexy. Humble self confidence is the sexiest thing there is.

There's only one person who can fix this issue, and it's you. There's plenty of info out there about why people overeat and become obese. Diets don't work, but lifestyle changes do. It's hard to change your behavior, but you can do it. It won't happen overnight, but if you truly decide to commit to yourself, it'll happen.

So, you can do one of two things: either continue to feel miserable and eat your feelings, or actually decide to get to the bottom of why you eat the way you do. I promise you that simply taking the steps to make positive changes will be empowering, and the people you come in contact with will sense that. You're worth feeling good about yourself. And you can. Just take the first steps.

I wish you the best of luck and a happy, healthy holiday.

Not necessarily. If you’re a certain KIND of fat, you can get gym kiddies to suck on your knob.

R2, it's fat WHORE, you stupid cunt.

OP are you a top of a bottom? Do you have body hair? A top bear will always be in demand. However, fat without much body hair is a harder sell, but if you are a top you have options. Now, if you are a fat bottom then you are hopeless.

If I see an overweight guy who is very neatly dressed it turns me on for some reason. Obese is another story.

[quote] I'm 5'10 and 215 lbs.

All jokes aside, you are beyond fat, in medical terms you are obese. Unless you are some super body build and average guy at that high would be around 160. If you were really muscular without steroids maybe 180.

Dictionary:

Obese = grossly fat or overweight

Look shit happens. They don’t know you. They judged you. People can be cruel. I was 5’11 and 160 pounds at 25 . At 27 I was 200 pounds and at 29 ,230 pounds.

Until I was 25 I was always thin. Then I went on anti depressants and gained a lot of weight. I have taken it off ,but it has taken years. Sometimes I think it was because I always felt uncomfortable being judged on my looks and I felt good hiding behind my fat. I felt good.

You are 33 and young. Always believe in yourself. The Gay Community is not what makes you Gay. It is the wonderful and unique you .shine

OP, R5 is correct. Years ago when I was 28 years old with a lean, worked out, chiseled body. I shared a two bedroom with a guy 300 lbs. He called himself Phatboy and went on chubby chaser sites. I'd be sitting in the living room watching football, there's be a knock on the door, and I'd watch as some big muscle stud would walk right by me and into my roommate's bedroom. I'd think, "What's wrong with this picture?". A lot of black guys, (if you're into that)..... so there truly is something to it.

Jelly roll baby!

Op you forgot to mention Ugly..

Or you could just develop a great personality, become interesting and stop giving a shit that faglings in their 20s aren’t interested.

You are fat - stop kidding yourself.

OP, there will always be a certain segment of gay men who hate anyone who isn't either 140 pounds or a muscle god with negative six percent body fat.

The healthiest thing you can do is use that number you see on the scale as a guide, but don't get hung up and over focus on numbers. Be as healthy as you can be. Move as much as you can, even if it's only 20-30 minutes a day. Enjoy food, but realize your metabolism is in the drivers' seat and try small, incremental, doable things, like: don't eat 3 hours before bed. But don't do it to hit a number temporarily, or fit into a pair of jeans. Do it as a long term effort. Think of it as a savings account. Put a few cents in every day.

More than anything, though, you have to accept yourself and appreciate yourself. There's a man out there who likes men that come in the package you're in. Confident big men get their choice of men, believe me. So if you feel negative about where you are, or your body, the work you might do to resolve THAT will be as important as any steps you would take to be more physically active.

I'm fatter than ever at 240. I just don't care enough to trot around trying to lose it. I loathe exercise and always have. Used to have a trainer but now with Covid, I give up. And I sure as hell am not going to worry about it until 2021. I'll eat, drink and be MARY! until then. Unless I drop from a heart attack first.

OP, have you considered change your attitude? It's not helping you.

[quote] Granted, I'm not even THAT fat! I'm 5'10 and 215 lbs.

Only in America would this be considered "not that fat".

You're medically obese and you've only been turned down once? You must be pretty hot!

I highly recommend that you do a little nutritional research and work on a sustainable healthy eating plan for yourself. I'd recommend the Mediterranean/Mayo Clinic diet over raw or keto, but everybody's different and you need to find out what works for you. Believe it or not, you're not that old and it's a lot easier to lose weight at your age than it will be later in life, so this is a really good time for you to do this. P.S.: everybody will tell you you have to hit the gym, but (a) you should NOT be doing this in the middle of a pandemic, and (b) if you exercise too much all you'll do is make yourself hungrier and make it harder to lose weight. Sustainable diet + sustainable exercise = you can do this.

Thanks guys.

I meant this to be a humorous post. I know that I'm fat, but I carry it very well. I have a muscular frame, and its mostly in my belly and booty. And yes R52, I am pretty hot, which sort of distracts from my weight gain.

Anyway, I realized I was fat, but not medically obese. Wow. I really don't look that big, but the scale doesn't lie.

Honestly, I was thin for all of my life, so I don't mind being a bit fat now. I know I'll lose this weight the more active I get as well.

Carry on calling me a fat whore, DL. I'm cackling right alongside you

Move to Egypt and guys will think you are the toast of the town. I had a few who actually told me to gain a few more kilos. The same applies to India.

And there's always Asian men OP. It's cliche but true.

I ate a whole bar of chocolate after reading this thread.

R56 Just the one, fatty?

OP types fat.

OP I figured this out back in 1989 at 17. I thought if I wouldn't be able to find a boyfriend at least I could find friends. No luck there either.

You need to learn when you to put the fork down, fat fuck. Look at those Hispanic or Asian bottoms. They are skinny and short and real tops desire them.

Dude - you're not thaaaaat overweight. Certainly not beyond the point of no return; you could lose a healthy amount of weight just by taking it easy. Don't get despondent and jeep retriggering yourself into overeating. You don't even have to exercise. What really helps the most is just a simple calorie deficit. Slightly smaller portions and limit the junk intake; your stomach and your appetite will adjust quickly and you'll find less will satisfy you. Are you a drinker? I lost my taste for beer (due to Covid worry) and my spare tire around my waist disappeared within a couple months of giving up (most) alcohol. You got this!!!

Ugh. *keep* not jeep. Fuck this site.

-R61

How about being 55+, Black, with a small penis. Weight depends on how much Haagen Daz is emotionally consumed on a monthly basis. Radiation from cancer treatment shrunk penis even further.

OP, we have two choices:

1. Watch what you eat, exercise, and look slender in clothes or naked.

2. Eat what you want, indulge your love of food, and grow chunky and awkward in clothes and flabby naked.

I'm doing my best to stay slim. Now that I'm older it's a lot harder but I'm so much happier with how I look. I put on some pounds a while back and I was miserable. I choose happy over flab.

But then if you're happy being fat and eating what you want, go for it. I won't judge, it's just what I want for myself.

I'm constantly surprised at the massive self-delusion of men, period.

Old fat gay men thinking they're God's gift, and touching up young guys are just the lurid-coloured tip of it.

'Poor me' posts from the overweight deserve all the contempt they get.

Am so sick of the whole 'bear' shtick; along with the 'fit fat' crap that goes on here, which is part of it. It's a total cop-out: a refusal to exercise the tiniest amount of self-control, but rather, act like an adult baby.

Grow up, start governing yourself, or enjoy your predicament, and premature heart attack. Until then, spare us all, and STFU. Enough of the rant, but the number of overweight gay people now is astounding: 80% of the Millennials I see are overweight to some degree. Even the slimmest are 'padded'. They don't seem to monitor their food intake in any way, and eat throughout the day like dumb cows. I have the same pair of jeans I had when I was 21. If the top button is the slightest bit tight, I know I need to correct my behaviour. Simple.

Unless there's a serious underlying medical condition, fat people are simply lazy.

Weight gain/loss is simple math. Calories In - Calories Out. Sure, it helps greatly if you eat healthy foods, but anyone who refuses to run around the block or climb some stairs or get on a bike or swim or dance or whatever to burn as many calories as they wish....is simply lazy.

If only it were possible for you to lose weight, OP!

[quote] Calories In - Calories Out. Sure, it helps greatly if you eat healthy foods, but anyone who refuses to run around the block or climb some stairs or get on a bike or swim or dance or whatever to burn as many calories as they wish....is simply lazy.

I thought everyone knew you can;t lose weight by exercising.

You have to do it by diet--it doesn't work otherwise.

R68. Wrong.

R53 “I'm cackling right alongside you.” Right, doubtless with a donut in your gaping maw. You’d like everyone to think you’re in on the joke, right fattie? You’re not and you’re also never turning this around, feigned attempts notwithstanding. You’re fat, bald, ugly, puerile and uninteresting. There is, as yet, no app for that. Alone forever starts... now.

[quote] the number of overweight gay people now is astounding: 80% of the Millennials I see are overweight to some degree. Even the slimmest are 'padded'. They don't seem to monitor their food intake in any way, and eat throughout the day like dumb cows.

It's amazing to me that we as a society are fatter than ever yet the physical ideal portrayed in movies, tv, and print advertising has never been higher. In the 60s and 70s people jerked off to average and hairy looking guys, yet now we never see this in pop culture or with popular instagramers. Why is this?

R68, exercise really helps to tone the muscles. Dieting alone won't do that.

R69 you're sadly mistaken. I've lost more weight with diet than exercise. It's easier to consume fewer calories than it is turn burn extra calories. I've lost 55 pounds this year and I haven't done a bit of exercise outside of normal household chores. I just ate much less because of a health issue and the weight dropped off.

Da fuck?

Isn't the whole idea behind "Bears" so that fat hairy bald gay guys can get laid?

You're probably considered skinny and young in that community OP

I am sure sure there are apps that cater to Bears.

From reading DL I know they have events and parties and special nights at bars

Has there ever been a fat guy on DL who didn't claim to be "fit fat" or "muscular" or said he "carries it well"

Just join up with the bears and you can be as fat as you want and not have to make up bullshit for people who can't even see you.

Has there ever been a fat person PERIOD who didn't delude themselves into thinking they carry it well R75? Until they see a pic of themselves and realize the don't.

"Granted, I'm not even THAT fat! I'm 5'10 and 215 lbs."

Honey, are you sure?

I’d never ever sleep with a fat man. I work hard to be in shape. Why can’t you at least eat less and exercise more?

Fat man is really fun in bed. I rather have sex with fat man than muscle guy.

I used to be overweight, not obese but flabby and stuff and I'm very tall, at 6'4' but I've never had a problem having sex. There are dozens of apps for bears, you'll find all sorts of hot people, skinny guys, muscled guys, etc who only fuck thick guys. It's absurd that we're in 2020 and people need to be guided about apps, there's literally an app for every type of fetich out there.

OP, get this under control now. As you get older the weight issue gets harder and harder to control.

Oh boo fucking hoo OP. He just wasn’t into you get over yourself.

Fat guys give great head because they are so orally fixated.

Not my proudest moment, but when I was in my 20s, I had a friend and we'd find a fat guy on one of the apps and have him come over and blow us while we watched porn on TV. He had to stay fully dressed too.

It was pretty equitable-- we got great head and the fat guy got to blow two guys who'd otherwise be out of his league.

So there is hope for you OP

[quote] Fat guys give great head because they are so orally fixated.

People who can't see their own penises are really curious what a penis looks like on others.

OP, 5'10 at 240 lbs is definitely overweight, let's put it that way. If you are muscular, maybe you put on muscle easily? This is a good time to get back into the gym. I'm not buying all the "curves and swerves are sexy" bullshit perpetuated by women. Did you say you were 33? It's not healthy to be overweight, especially with the fucking virus floating around. I'm 6'2, 180 lbs, 40, and a 31 waist (that goes to 32 when I've put on weight).

When I was your age, it was much easier to stay fit. Now I definitely have to work harder at the gym to keep the same body and I have to watch my diet more closely, something I didn't have to do when I was your age. My point is that as you get older, it's hard to stay in good shape, even if you are in good shape! I would work to lose that weight now because it is going to get harder and harder to lose it as you age, with the numbers probably increasing. Ugh, one thing I hate seeing, especially with older overweight gays is when they carry a messenger bag or murse and put it the front. I'm like, "bitch that does not cover anything and draws attention". I took some photos during quarantine and I was seeing the beginnings of fit fat (photos don't lie, the mirror does sometimes), so now I am working my ass of the lose that weight.

Lost the weight. Gays are vicious and your currency drops with every year, no matter how hot you are. A good tight body is good for your health, mind, and dating. Find some sort of exercise that you like. Finish your pound cake and enjoy the rest of the holidays, but you must do better!

Fat and gay - only one of those things can you change. Or should change. It will impact everything else in your life going forward, especially your chances of staying healthy as you get older. Getting laid and losing weight don't necessarily get easier as you age.

Mike was never fat!, R86!

The MOST attitude I ever got from a guy someone I was having sex with who was a muscle bear. He wanted to video himself giving me a blowjob and when I told him no , maybe three times he says- You're lucky I'm having sex with you. I wouldn't even look at you on the street- almost those exact words. His words would have really hurt if he was my type- which is SLIM ( not muscular or bear)but plenty of guys would find him HOT but not me.

EWWW GROSS A FATTY! LOSE WEIGHT FATTTY FAT FAT FAT! FATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

R89- GROW UP

It's worked out ok for me. I'd like to not be as heavy and I've always been working on it with varying degrees of success. But I'm very happy.

OP, I bet you qualify for gastric. Once you are obese, it's hard to get down to a healthy weight. I've watched Ruby. I get it.

Sorry, OP, but you ARE that fat. At 5'10", you should weigh 175 TOPS.

You are correct R93- He's AT LEAST 40 pounds overweight.

Bitch please .. I’m 310 and have been told I’m too thin by some guys.. some guys are in to chubs

I just think of the hygiene and odor issues that come with that weight.

OP, hopefully this will help.

When I was 32, I went on a date, scared to death because this was pre-cocktail and I tended to be a bit passive, which made for great fantasies but vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Anywho, I go on this date and the guy says to me you have to get out there because the years will fly by and you'll be old and then it'll be over.

Well, the years flew by. I'm old(er). I didn't get out there as much as I should have. And now, it (mostly) feels over. You've got the rest of your 30s and all of your 40s to really get out there and have fun.

It's COVID so take a break until we get our two vaccine shots.

Change your mindset on eating.

Breakfast - oatmeal Lunch - chicken, no bigger than your palm; baked potato, salsa (no butter) dinner - vegetable salad

limit snacks and caffeine - NO alcohol water water more water

Go for walks; then runs; do sit-ups; pushups.

And then be kind to future fatties you meet along the way. You CAN have a better body, but it won't come overnight.

Don't get hung up on ages or body-shaming young 'uns. Delete and move on.

And practice safe sex.

[quote] Granted, I'm not even THAT fat! I'm 5'10 and 215 lbs.

Is this a joke? No offense, but you’re grotesque.

OP, I lost 40 lbs. over a year and a half (maybe less) by doing regular cardio, and on Jenny Craig and Ambien (I don't recommend the latter), but the weight melted off.

I was professionally fulfilled and met a great friend, possibly the greatest friend I ever made.

In fucking LA, no less.

Work got tough. My buddy killed himself. and, of course, over the years, the weight crept back up.

Be good to yourself.

You fat fat fattie.

Ambien or Adderall, R99?

Ambien; sleep is so important in losing weight.

I stayed on a schedule and looked forward to tackling each day

GOD it was the best time of my life. 2009-2011

LA is filled with horrible backstabbing narcissists -- my buddy's heart was big. Too big, it turned out.

The whole time I knew him I thought, well, THIS is too good to be true.

R11 is actually 11.

A buddy of mine is on Biggercity, he is fat, in his fifties, and he gets fucked all the time. I saw a 22 year old he was having sex with, and the guy was cute!

I hate reiterating things you already know. But you go OFF meat and dairy. IOW, go vegan. You walk orvride a bike. You use one of those free food trackers, and do some sit ups and you're back in shape! It doesn't take that long, and all the time you would've been sitting around despairing, you were DOING something! You'll get laid again! You'll slim down again!

My ex had a couple pounds, and he was still very sexy. He had so much confidence, and that confidence is what really attracts others, and it shouldn’t be entirely dependent on being a certain body shape. According to Indian Ayurvedic tradition there are three basic body types, which I rather agree with. Some people are naturally stocky, and others are naturally slender like myself. Stay fit, if you want to lose a couple pounds do it, but be comfortable with and confident in the skin you’re in. If you’re confident in yourself others fall in line.

That should say my ex had a couple of *extra pounds

[quote]I hate reiterating things you already know. But you go OFF meat and dairy. IOW, go vegan

Actually you would lose more weight giving up carbs and sticking with meat. Carbs convert to sugar. So a bowl of pasta or rice or noodles without meat is like eating an extra large piece of chocolate cake.

If you are that thin-skinned, you really shouldn't be on dating/hook-up apps. That was polite in comparison to the majority.

If you are a little thicker than you'd like to be, what are you doing about it?

GROWLR, OP.

All the sex you can handle.

Embrace it and advertise yourself as a thick whore or tweak your diet and start exercising daily. That guy could have just ignored you instead of being brutally honest, but it’s true that he was pretty polite compared to others on the apps. Good luck, op!

r107: Idon't want to expose the cult status of our conflicting beliefs about diet, but, yeah, you'll lose more over the short term by going full-on all protein and fat and inducing ketonuria. OK, but it seems as though from the Adkins diet on, the long term results in fatty, heart- diseased people. A vegetable and grain diet can have a ton of protein--think soy (milk, frozen desserts, tofu, tempeh) and now a buncha pea protein, etc., products. And fats: veg oil, olive oil, peanut butter, on and on. But I converted gradually through the above and nuts, fresh fruit, and vegetables over six weeks' time and lost forty pounds, and I've kept it off, even w major (physical) challenges to my exercise regime, and going over some kind of metabolic hump when I got to be over 65. I'm not selling anything either, this is just what happened for me. You and everyone should find the diet and cuisines they enjoy and have a great time while they can. And I should say, my spouse is much more doctrinaire, animal cruelty, slaughterhouses, etc. But I just wanted to give my heart and vascular a bit of a break as I enter old age. I have no axe to grind, and don't care what others do. Laissez faire. Soon it won't matter much more, likely, and I'll be back on cheeseburgers. But I bet I won't feel as well.

Calories in DOES NOT equal calories out. Far from it.

I know from experience. I went on a medically supervised VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet) of 750 calories a day. And once I adjusted to that diet and got the go-ahead from my doc, I returned to the gym 4-5 times a week, taking cardio classes, stretch classes and total body fitness classes with weights. Plus I'd lift weights as well, cause my body responds well to that.

Yes, I lost weight, slowly but surely, but trust me, I was burning at least five times the calories I was taking in daily, and often that scale never budged. You can actually get your metabolism tested by a nutritionist. I did, and my metabolism is bad. I also have thyroid issues.

So much judgment based on ignorance and insecurity on here, none of which is surprising. What would surprise some of these nasty naysayers is the amount of sex I've gotten as a bear, and how hot those sexual partners were. Confidence and charm go a long way, fellas. As does kindness and intelligence. I've now got a retired South American model for a husband, and we're happy, and he would have never given most of you skinny twinks a second glance. And that's okay, cause, as one of my mentors once advised me: "There's a lid for every pot." I found my guy, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate.

Happy, healthy hunting to you all.

Well, see? What you decide on should be whatever makes you hsppy, body image-wise, diet- wise, life-wise. Never trust an overbearingly "right" person to sell you on something. There's enough of those bastards in govt.

It sucks. I’ll run 4mi 4x a week and eat 1500 cals and still have difficulty losing weight. My metabolism is non-existent. When the world ends I’ll be able to hold onto food longer I guess.