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hav u ever pooped a turd so big it traumatized u?

this jus happened to me and i don't think i'll ever recover

by Anonymousreply 65April 5, 2021 10:30 PM

No, but I know your mother has.

by Anonymousreply 1December 12, 2020 9:59 PM

Traumatized you how, OP?

by Anonymousreply 2December 12, 2020 9:59 PM

I had one so big, OP, that by the time I finally pushed it all out...I was inside of it!

by Anonymousreply 3December 12, 2020 10:01 PM

More like it convinced me I was up to bigger challenges.

by Anonymousreply 4December 12, 2020 10:04 PM

No but your grammar skills are traumatic.

by Anonymousreply 5December 12, 2020 10:06 PM

It's like a song Prince forgot to record.

I Would Die 4 Poop

by Anonymousreply 6December 12, 2020 10:08 PM

Yes indeed.

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by Anonymousreply 7December 12, 2020 10:13 PM

Dear Lord in Heaven!

by Anonymousreply 8December 13, 2020 12:47 AM

That's not a turd, hot lips.

It's a *Monsturd*.

You in danger, gurl.

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by Anonymousreply 9December 13, 2020 12:57 AM

But I was pleasingly convinced afterward that I could take a big one in the other direction, if necessary.

by Anonymousreply 10December 13, 2020 1:43 AM

I bet you've taken bigger cocks. SLUT!

by Anonymousreply 11December 13, 2020 1:46 AM

Bring out the poop knife!

by Anonymousreply 12December 13, 2020 1:50 AM

I wasn’t traumatized but my Instagram followers were when I posted a pic.

by Anonymousreply 13December 13, 2020 1:51 AM

Ever have a shit so long it coiled in the bowl?

by Anonymousreply 14December 13, 2020 5:48 AM

Indeed!

by Anonymousreply 15December 13, 2020 6:05 AM

Erna?

by Anonymousreply 16December 13, 2020 6:11 AM

One time I pooped so much I felt like someone had vacuumed out my entire lower intestine and actually felt skinny and pulled my belt taut two notches less! Jealous, bitches?

It didn’t last long but I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what I had eaten and the sequence I ate it so I could try it again!

by Anonymousreply 17December 13, 2020 6:43 AM

You mother shit out a turd that became you

by Anonymousreply 18December 13, 2020 4:04 PM

Mine is a stick, R12. Gotta judge whether the toilet will take it without clogging. If not, I chop it up. Not a pleasant detail, but better than a clogged toilet.

by Anonymousreply 19December 13, 2020 4:17 PM

I once at sushi for lunch and Indian food for dinner. In the middle of the night I woke up in a sweat because Satan himself was trying to bum rush out of my asshole. After a sequence of increasingly wet shits, I almost fell asleep on the toilet because I was afraid if I got up I might fall over or shit myself in the bed. I took a shower and some tums and I've never eaten those foods again.

by Anonymousreply 20December 13, 2020 5:13 PM

Thanks SO much for sharing, R19.

by Anonymousreply 21December 14, 2020 12:10 AM

You need to post a photo of it here:

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by Anonymousreply 22December 14, 2020 12:13 AM

Twenty years ago, I was standing in my bedroom and buckled over with most excruciating stomach pain that was so bad I almost fainted. I ended up on the floor in the fetal position. My instinct was to head to the toilet, so I decided to crawl into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. For about 30 minutes waves cramps went through me, when finally I gave birth to the biggest turd I've ever seen. It was round, and the size of a grapefruit!!! Never experienced anything like it since. Now I eat plenty of roughage and take my fiber!

by Anonymousreply 23December 14, 2020 1:46 AM

This thread cracks me up!

by Anonymousreply 24December 14, 2020 2:47 AM

R24 - Don’t laugh too loudly; this is your FUTURE.

by Anonymousreply 25December 14, 2020 3:47 AM

If you're "scat-phobic" R21, why read a thread with the words "pooped" and "turd" in the title? Jeebus.

by Anonymousreply 26December 14, 2020 11:05 PM

Yuck

by Anonymousreply 27March 11, 2021 6:12 AM

This happened to me once, when I was staying with a family friend in Amsterdam. The host family ate this very sparing and extreme ultra-healthnut diet (think riced W vegetable-everything, leafy salad, coconut instead of dairy, nothing substantial or tasty), and drank gallons of fresh garden-herb tea all the time. To be polite I followed the same diet, though after a month it left me half-starved and delirious with no energy.

After some weeks on this diet, my system has obviously had a chance to empty itself out, and one morning I was gripped by the fwa. Fortunately the house was empty when the demon seized me, and I spent over an hour in the bathroom trying to expel it. The whole ordeal, my heart was uncomfortably racing and pounding, and I felt an obvious rise in blood pressure that worried me. I was sweating buckets, became faint, and even got a thumping headache as time passed. Then I felt fear like I hadn't for years, and started vionetly trembling and breathing in shallow gasps. Eventually, I passed what looked the size of a serpent.

Scary experience, let me tell you. It sounds profane and revolting to say, but it did feel somehow spiritual, or at least like my physical shell was shedding and purging something toxic to my being. I still don’t know what the poison could have been, or why it happened then or in the way it did.

For days afterward, I felt shaken and weak, but also pleasantly light. My belly seemed to flatten and my persistent acne seemed to clear, as well. Obviously, something about that diet worked on an internal ailment, though it was unsustainable in the long run.

by Anonymousreply 28March 11, 2021 10:38 AM

Dear Lord in Heaven!

by Anonymousreply 29March 25, 2021 2:11 PM

I had a hard shit that was too big and hard to come out my hole. After much pushing and pain i managed to expel it by dilating my hole with my fingers and guiding it out. A lesson to eat more fiber.

by Anonymousreply 30March 25, 2021 2:43 PM

My shit is always too hard and big and my asshole always bleeds. How will I know if I have cancer when my asshole always bleeds when I take a dump?

by Anonymousreply 31March 25, 2021 2:48 PM

I had what appeared to be appendicitis a few weeks ago. After running a fever of 102 with sweats and chills, I finally went to urgent care. For some reason, they wanted to refer me to further testing and the doctor’s tone didn’t sit right with me. I decided to wait another 24 hours and would go right to the ER if I still felt this way... I drank seltzer water with lots of lemon and took a few hot bath soaks, figuring it would soothe my pain.

Whatever was in my appendix flushed out the next morning, I knew right away because the stench was TERRIBLE and my stool was greasy. I had absolutely no appetite for four days and a golf ball size pain for about another week that got smaller every day.

I’ll never eat sushi again.

by Anonymousreply 32March 25, 2021 3:12 PM

I measured my doo doo this morning. It was 15 inches long.

by Anonymousreply 33March 25, 2021 3:14 PM

One certainly has, especially after a dinner of one's favorite curries.

by Anonymousreply 34March 25, 2021 3:41 PM

Ten years ago I went crazy in the gym. Lifting hard. Running. Swimming. Only drank Myoplex protein shakes. Sometimes would have a salad. Zero pasta bread dairy etc. I got ripped up. That was nice. But every time I crapped it was like a brick and hurt like hell. No need to wipe. Just one solid sense brick. Once a day.

by Anonymousreply 35March 25, 2021 3:42 PM

In school, my roommate always bragged that his turds were sometimes so big that he had to get a shovel to break them up so that they would flush. Sadly, I never got to confirm this first hand.

But, once I had a compacted bowel and had to go to the Emergency Room. When they finally got me working (a doctor had to dig it out with a finger- I loved that man) so much came out onto the floor that I saw all the staff back up in unison to protect that shoes. I burst out laughing. They didn't think it was that funny.

I do now know what 'A Code Brown' means when it's announced on the address system. Oh the happy memories of a lifetime's journey!

by Anonymousreply 36March 25, 2021 3:43 PM

^How embarrassing to go to the ER with something like that. You know you can dig the shit out yourself, r36? You can also inject a hot water/curd soap mix if your stool is too hard and won't come out. Inject enough of that mix and wait a couple of minutes and your massive turd will slip right out of your asshole. I would rather die a slow and painful death than ask a nurse or doctor to dig shit out of my hole.

by Anonymousreply 37March 25, 2021 4:09 PM

It didn't traumatise me, but it traumatised Ivanka

by Anonymousreply 38March 25, 2021 4:15 PM

I pushed a shit the size of the large end of a baseball bat while in college. It was stuck half in, half out and I bled while I tried to push it. When it finally passed I had the most euphoric feeling, I was light headed but also happy. Admittedly my asshole was sore but thank god that demon finally passed.

by Anonymousreply 39March 25, 2021 4:27 PM

[Quote]When it finally passed I had the most euphoric feeling, I was light headed but also happy.

Haha. Yes, the feeling is sometimes better than sex after a massive dump.

by Anonymousreply 40March 25, 2021 4:30 PM

Somebody here posted about ending up in the ER with painkiller constipation while recovering from a broken ankle. They were given an enema and told to wait it out on a toilet chair with a plastic shit bucket underneath. When they were finally able to go, other patients started gagging and complaining loudly about the smell.

by Anonymousreply 41March 25, 2021 4:32 PM

I had a back zit so big I felt it for years after I squeezed it all away, like those amputees who say they feel phantom limb syndrome.

by Anonymousreply 42March 25, 2021 4:33 PM

I stink up the employee bathroom at work.

by Anonymousreply 43March 25, 2021 4:33 PM

This one was apparently big enough for a burger. NSFW warning!! Please don't watch if you can't handle "poop burger" by this person.

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by Anonymousreply 44March 25, 2021 4:37 PM

I've never had one so big it traumatized me. In high school, though, I had a friend who kept a wire coat hanger (yes, Joan, wire hangers!) ready because he had to chop up his massive turds. He would sometimes grab a coat hanger before he went to the bathroom. I asked him about it and he always evaded the question. Eventually his little brother snitched on him and told me his shits were so massive he had to chop them up to get them to flush. I didn't believe it.

Then one day, my friend went to the bathroom but must have forgotten to grab the coat hanger. He called to me and asked me to bring him one. When I fetched it, he tried to open the door a crack to have me give it to him, but I shoved my way in. I had to see if this was real. Holy shit (pun intended), it was a MASSIVE turd. Just huge. I couldn't believe something so big could come out of someone's ass. After that, I jokingly called him Turdzilla.

by Anonymousreply 45March 25, 2021 5:01 PM

My shit schedule is off kilter since working from home. I would always feel the urge to go as soon as I got home from work. Actually, as soon as I pulled in the driveway, no matter what time it was. It’s as if my sphincter could sense the home toilet was near.

by Anonymousreply 46March 25, 2021 6:03 PM

In 1984, the summer before my senior year of high school, I went to Boys' State, which looks great on a college application but was pure hell for this self-loathing, unathletic girly boy. (In addition to the mock-legislature stuff, we had to participate in sports, which I was hopeless at.) I spent most of my time there with my guard up, trying to keep my flames turned down around the douchebag jocks and student-council presidents who were my peers.

While I was able to summon the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to take a shower every day, I was too self-conscious to poop. (We were housed in a men's dorm on a college campus.) We were there for a week, and toward the end it was agony. When I finally got home, I shat out something that looked like an anaconda.

Not shit-related, but during my senior year, I started sneaking out to bars with my one gay friend from school, and one night we ran into someone I had gone to Boys' State with. I never talked to him there because we were on different "teams," but he had caused quite the stir because he was obviously gay and, to put it mildly, very gender-non-conforming for 1984. When I saw him again at the club, he was in full drag. We had a kiki reminiscing about our Boys' State experiences, and as it turned out, he'd had a great time—boys would sneak to his room after lights-out wanting sex: "Gurl, I was gettin' dick left and right!" Which pissed me off, because maybe I could've gotten some too if I hadn't been so damn uptight.

by Anonymousreply 47March 25, 2021 6:26 PM

I made a huge doo doo this afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 48March 25, 2021 9:43 PM

do trans women get phantom dick after their op?

by Anonymousreply 49March 25, 2021 11:00 PM

R32. You obviously ate some “white tuna”. It not tuna. It’s escolar and it’s banned in Japan. I also learned the hard way.

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by Anonymousreply 50March 25, 2021 11:15 PM

I make big doo doos.

by Anonymousreply 51March 27, 2021 1:36 AM

I recently had surgery to removal intestinal adhesions, apparently I had a partial obstruction and the bowel prep I took before the surgery did not clear it all out. I was told my intestines in places were 3 times the diameter they should have been due to the obstruction. About 2 days after, I shat nearly every single hour for 2 days and thought it would never end. I lost 8 pounds despite not eating any different, who knew I was carrying all that around?

by Anonymousreply 52March 27, 2021 2:16 AM

Did you guys ever see the South Park episode where Randy tries to win the biggest crap title from Bono? It was so hilarious. This is a good clip from it.

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by Anonymousreply 53March 27, 2021 2:18 AM

R52 Are you stupid? We are all carrying many pounds of shit in our bowels. That’s not news.

by Anonymousreply 54March 27, 2021 2:53 AM

Poopisha strikes again

by Anonymousreply 55March 27, 2021 2:54 AM

R54 The guy just had invasive surgery and lost a couple of pounds of shit and beat-up intestines. Why are you so hostile?

by Anonymousreply 56March 27, 2021 7:49 AM

Every Thanksgiving.

by Anonymousreply 57March 27, 2021 8:36 AM

When I first had chemo the oncologist warned me about staying hydrated and to let them know if I wasn’t having regular bowel movements. With everything going on I didn’t think about it for 3-4 days. Then 5, 6, and then 7 days I hadn’t had a BM. I didn’t feel good at all but who would when every day was just about being miserably nauseated? Finally on the eighth day I had the urge to go. It was painful and exhausting to expel it and it took forever. It had the consistency of a bale of hay and was like a baby’s arm. ‘Nuff said. So, OP, not traumatized but 12 years later I can still experience the exhaustion and relief, as well as the feeling of lightness mentioned above.

Bizarrely enough, the chemo lasted another 10 months, 3 times a week, and I never had a problem with reactions (very fortunate) except some slight nausea now and then. It was all about the constipation.

by Anonymousreply 58March 27, 2021 9:37 AM

This thread is the buttered topping

by Anonymousreply 59April 2, 2021 4:02 AM

OP i snow ready to bottom. He can't pretend it won't fit.

by Anonymousreply 60April 2, 2021 4:06 AM

Not me, but they guy who ate it.

by Anonymousreply 61April 2, 2021 4:13 AM

It happened about 15 years ago. The day before I had went to the gym and did my work out and did some extra crunches. I had maybe chicken for dinner but I also had some broccoli. Not too much. The next day before I had to leave to go to work I had very strong urge to go. I had a very satisfying & easy B.M. I wiped, stood up, turned around and looked at the most giant turd I’ve ever seen! Not knowing any better, I just flushed the toilet as usual. BIG mistake! Totally backed up and onto the floor. I panicked! I grabbed a bunch of towels and put them all over the bathroom floor. I was going to be very late for work if I stayed a minute longer. I told my roommate I had to leave and to use the other bathroom. I took care of it when I got home. If I had only known about & used a poop knife! So if you ever need help getting things moving, do some crunches and have some fiber!

by Anonymousreply 62April 2, 2021 4:29 AM

Today. I received my second vaccine almost two weeks ago and after a very dry year, I am prepping to be dicked down hard. I've been taking fiber supplements. For good friday, I had only vegetables. After a giant iced coffee, I had to go. It wasn't hard to pass - but it looked like Godzilla's tail. I almost wanted to take a picture.

by Anonymousreply 63April 3, 2021 5:50 PM

R63 Did you measure it?

by Anonymousreply 64April 4, 2021 7:36 AM

I had onion rings yesterday. Gave me wicked wicked gas, farting every 5 minutes. Today a huge doo doo came out of my ass.

by Anonymousreply 65April 5, 2021 10:30 PM
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