Musical artists with the shittiest nonsense lyrics

Tori Amos.

Are shitty nonsense lyrics the same as unsuccessful lyrics intended to be nonsense, which is a respectable genre?

Or is the illiterate OP trying to talk about the musical artists with the worst lyrics?

Thank you.

Train’s lyrics are ridiculous

Cardi B owns this thread.

MacArthur Park. Thread closed.

Stevie Nicks.

What genre of music does this group belongs to?

I hate it.

Poetic License

Duran Duran, particularly their Seven And The Ragged Tiger album. Nothing but silly word salad and synthesizers.

MacArthur Park's lyric about "someone left the cake out in the rain," was nothing more than a childish metaphor. It wasn't what made the song stupid. The stupidity came from the over-the-top angst. It's raining in the park so I'm contemplating suicide.

Paul Cole and Elton John

Though, now that I think about it, the whole part about "It took so long to bake it," sort of means the songwriter was committed to the childish metaphor and doesn't make any sense. Oh, no!

Drops of Jupiter and MacArthur Park have truly inane lyrics.

I love both songs.

Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam. Poetic masterpiece, but it’s lyrics defy sense.

Nirvana

Richard Harris' MacAP hit Number Two on the Billboard singles chart, sold more than a million 45 RPM copies, and is considered one of the greatest songs in the history of the universe - provided it's performed by someone you screaming queens worship, like, say, deader-than-dead Donna Summer. You flaming Marys would be CREAMING yourselves if that hack Whitney had ever gotten around to recording it.

OP, I ever really listened closely to the lyrics, but I just looked them up online, and I have to say, they really are brilliant.

I also have always loved 'Meet Virginia'.

Umm....

Bjork much, bitches?!?

Interpol’s songs. The ones where pretentious/stupid hottie Paul Banks wrote the lyrics, anyway. Especially on their first album. Just so, so stupid, but you can tell he was trying to be arty and poetic.

The Shins’ James Mercer’s lyrics are often like that, too, though they’re really not even in the same “stupid douche bro” universe as Banks’.

Another perfect example is the gorgeous song “Roscoe” by the (now defunct?) band Midlake, from the mid-00s. The song is like Blue Oyster Cult meets Fleetwood Mac, and it’s pretty impeccably arranged, with slashing guitar chords that hit at just the right moments, and lovely multi-part harmonies. But the lyrics are SO BAD, in more ways than one.

Train has some song with the lyrics “lipstick stain on my front lobe brain” and something about untrimmed chest hair. I hope they burn in some song lyric hell.

Elton John

Tori Amos

Jewel

Train

Phil Collins

S. Nicks

P. Cole

B. Spears

Madonna

C. Lauper

Judy Freaking Collins recorded a version of "Drops Of Jupiter" 15 or so years ago. How bad could it be?

Now, Dianne Warren songs . . .

Drops of Jupiter was nominated for five Grammys. Not that that necessarily means much. But it's certainly not the worst song out there, IMO.

Shameika said I had potential

Actually... Fiona Apple should have a social worker assigned to her case so she can get her ass out of the house to make a record, get a facial... so she can stop being so god damned ugly given she’s only 43yo.

Who else has noticed that? WHY is Fiona Apple so ugly now even though she’s still a young woman?

This is how Train started one song:

I used to love the Tenderloin

Until I made some tender coin

I like Train a lot, but then I don't pay much attention to lyrics anyway.

R20, that would be "Hey, Soul Sister".

I'ma get get get get you drunk

Get you love drunk off my hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My hump

My lovely little lumps

Ridiculous Lyrics ?

Laughing all the way to the bank !

Cocteau Twins, although that was on purpose.

I’ve always loathed “Meet Virginia”. She wears high heels when she exercises? What a goofy, spastic sexy gal! No. She’s a fucking moron

[quote] Duran Duran, particularly their Seven And The Ragged Tiger album. Nothing but silly word salad and synthesizers.

Agreed. Simon LeBon couldn’t write for shit. “I sold the Renoir and the TV set”? Good God.

[quote]I’ve always loathed “Meet Virginia”. She wears high heels when she exercises? What a goofy, spastic sexy gal! No. She’s a fucking moron

Virginia? I don’t know her.

r26 Drugs and alcohol will do that to you.

r26 And an on/off eating disorder.

You can feel this, but the lyrics? Who knows.

Stone Temple Pilots

the band Live

Fuck you, bitches

Luckily, these songs have been forgotten: "Black Velvet," "Walking in Memphis" and the schmaltziest pop song ever, "Sometimes When We Touch."

Agree with STP and Live, however, they are 2 of my top 10 favorite 90's bands. Train is a bit gimmicky, but in the earlier days, they weren't that bad. they kind of devolved though.

Shake up the picture with your lizard mixture and your dance on the evening tide..

I love "Walking In Memphis", but thought I was the only gay man who FUCKING HAAATES "Black Velvet". And if I'm in a bar where a drag queen performs it, I leave. I've done it before, & I'll do it again. I didn't finish that "Drag Race" episode where it was used as a lip synch, because I turned it off when they revealed it as the chosen song.

R44 was for R41

The song "I Want It That Way" makes no fucking sense.

It was an ear worm in it's time but I hated the lyrics.

What about that ridiculous Heart song about picking a hitchhiker up on the side of the road, fucking him in a hotel to get a sperm donation, and then going back to the hotel years later with the kid in toe and the guy is still there as the concierge? I can’t ever remember the name.

Third Eye Blind had some out there lyrics, especially on Semi Charmed Kind of Life, but then you find out most of them are drug references. There are also ones that make me blush like “coming over you” and “How do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you.” But I really like that song and others by them.

Hunny, anyone of us can DLers could be Virginia!

Forget Virginia, I thought Sylvia was both ridiculous and clever all at the same time doing Nobody.

Ten year old me found this absolutely hilarious!

Do Do Do Da Da Da

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

My friends and I loved to croon Charlene lyrics at the top of our lungs with such wonderful ditties as:

Oh, I’ve been to Nice, and the Isle of Greece while I sipped champagne on a yacht (she’s the original yacht girl!)

Sometimes I’ve been to cryin’ for unborn children, that might have made me complete. (Abortion!)

I’ve spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost to much to be free (how does one subtlety whore?)

All done in an exaggerated Southern accent for full effect!

[quote] What about that ridiculous Heart song about picking a hitchhiker up on the side of the road, fucking him in a hotel to get a sperm donation, and then going back to the hotel years later with the kid in toe and the guy is still there as the concierge? I can’t ever remember the name.

Christ, now I can’t remember the title either. And I LOVED this song when it was brand new and the video was shown on VH1 all the time. It’s kind of an improbable story, but the lyrics aren’t awful nonsense, not like the other songs in this thread. It’s just schmaltzy and unbelievable.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE TITLE!!!???

Oh, it’s called “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You.” I wouldn’t have had trouble remembering it but R47 tricked my brain into thinking it was an impossible-to-remember title. Damn you, R47!

R47 You’re welcome! I did look at the lyrics as I wanted to see how they fit “concierge” in there. But at last what was blatant in the video, is only lyrically hinted at and after all, what the hell rhymes with concierge?

I adore the band America, but their lyrics.....

I'm been through the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain......

....and Cause never was the reason for the evening or the tropic of Sir Galahad.....HUH?

A different band and different style - also wonderful music Roundabout by Yes........WTF

Alanis owns this thread.

R59 She oughta know

R59 Do you have something against transparent dangling carrots, elusive kudo, and under rug swept?

Alanis gets bonus points: her lyrics are often shitty and nonsensical AND they don't scan properly (emphasis on wrong syllable, missed accents, etc.)... with her own music.

You have to work extra hard to write lyrics that poorly.

R59 Wasn’t that Alanis’ song about her grandmother’s Alzheimer’s where she was trying to make it feel like experiencing a fugue state? Or it might be a Sarah MaLachlan song, I always get those two confused?

R32, "Virginia" from Meet Virginia's sounds like a MTF's idea of what being a woman is all about. Could they squeeze any more generic woman tropes into that song? Coffee, chocolate, heels, exercise. Does it mention wine? I guess it was supposed to offer something to all women, who would identify with something in it ("Soy mocha latte?! That's what I always order! Thats MY song!") and sell more albums much like those songs that name check a laundry list of mid-sized cities or flyover states ("just a Wichita 4-H butterqueen!" That's ME. That's MY song!)

R36 She could still show up with brushed hair and a coat of make-up. It’s the same think as Lena Dunham flaunting her nude body.

What the hell was this all about, I recognize a few identifiable words and the product placement, but beyond that I’m completely at a loss?

Fiona Apple gave her second album this nonsense title:

“When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right”