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Let’s Be “The Facts Of Life Visit The Trump White House”

Blair gets invited to the White House because of her stepfather ‘s huge donation to the Trump campaign. Blair is not a Trumpster and finds Melania to be an unabashed whore.

Mrs Garrett fears that Donald will sexually harass the girls. She soon wins over Barron with her Edna’s Edibles.

Natalie cries when Trump calls her unfuckable.

Tootsie gets offended when she is mistaken for a maid.

What kind of mischief will the girls get up to?

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4901/12/2021

I love the cameo of Nancy McKeon in a suggested lez encounter with Ivanka.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 112/10/2020

We know Tootie won’t be invited.

And we all know why.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 212/10/2020

In a very special episode, Jo becomes politically involved for the first time because who she believes in Making America Great Again and Draining the Swamp. But she begins to see things in a new light when the Mexican teen (special guest star Mario Lopez) who she's been tutoring on car repair is suddenly deported. Meanwhile, Natalie opens her first checking account so she can donate to Pete Buttigieg.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 312/10/2020

The girls are aghast at Trumps gestured mocking of cousin Geri.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 412/10/2020

Tootie will make a papier-mâché bust to give to Donald, but it will get ruined on the way there and she will be devastated.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 512/10/2020

Natalie while getting patted down by security will feel something special down their for the first time.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 612/10/2020

Natalie is haranged by Trump because the school paper she writes for is fake news.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 712/10/2020

Pippa was sadly deported back to Mexico for being a bad hombre even though she's from Australia.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 812/10/2020

[quote] Tootie will make a papier-mâché bust

You’re so pretentious. Who the hell pronounces it papier-mâché?!

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 912/10/2020

They better not bring cousin Geri, you know that girl will be all spastic and break something expensive.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1012/10/2020

When Trump makes a joke about his being irresistible to women, except for the "bull dykes"

Jo lifts her leg and farts in Trumps general direction...

You can cut the tension and the fart smell with a knife...

Mrs. Garrett tries to make a joke about all the tension making Jo gassy,

But the Secret Service hustles the girls out as Trump begins to rage about "ungrateful little cunts"...

Offsite Link
by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1112/10/2020

I can just imagine Ivanka rubbing her pussy raw the night before being so excited to meet them.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1212/10/2020

Trump's Cousin Geri impression goes over like a lead balloon.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1312/10/2020

Donald gives each of the girls a lead balloon for the visit.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1412/10/2020

Trump will say,

"It's weird they call the colored girl "Tootie"

when it's the dykey one who farted at me.

And who let that retard girl in?"

"Bitches, just liberal Hollywood bitches!"

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1512/10/2020

The fat one smells like cheese.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1612/10/2020

It would be easier and less labor intensive for Edna to take Barron to a window so he can stare at the son.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1712/10/2020

The girls perform a Holiday extravaganza for Melania’s Fucking Kreesmas party. “We need a little fucking Kreesmas right this fucking minute...”

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1812/10/2020

Tootie roller skates down the long hall, into the Oval Office and cracks her skull open on the Resolute Desk.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 1912/10/2020

Jo- dyke falls for Eric

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2012/10/2020

Felice and Molly are somewhere weeping.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2112/10/2020

When Cinnamon (guest star Stacey Q) is invited to receive the Medal of Freedom after singing the National Anthem during the RNC, she invites the girls to the White House reception. After returning home, Natalie accidentally gives COVID to Mrs. Garrett, who dies and is replaced by her sister Beverly-Ann.

Offsite Link
by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2212/10/2020

After Tootie hits her head, Trump tells her not to count on Obamacare. He only calls the ambulance when Mrs Garrett assures him that she has non-subsidized health insurance.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2312/10/2020

The girls run into Sue Ann, who is now Special Assistant to the President and Director of Media Affairs for the First Lady. Weary of Tootie's speechifying, Sue Ann explodes, proclaiming, "All lives matter, Tootie. ALL LIVES!!!" Tootie counters by calling her "Low IQ Sue." A cat fight ensues, Edna intervenes, and Melania has them escorted out.

Offsite Link
by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2412/10/2020

The girls are on a collision course with wackiness when Jo hot-wires Air Force One to go on a beer run! They get pulled over by a hot cop, Blair tries to flirt her way out of trouble and winds up being charged with soliciting. Special Guest Star: Erik Estrada.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2512/10/2020

Edna's becomes head of the White House kitchen and all four girls move into the Lincoln bedroom.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2612/10/2020

Tootie discovers Melania’s nude photos and tells her, “You’re in trouuuuuuble!”

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2712/11/2020

mrs hannigan will be grabbed by the pussy

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2812/11/2020

^ You mean Mrs. Garrett?

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 2912/12/2020

Jo gets very hungry and asks Melania if she’s got anything to munch on. Melania replies, “Well, yes, but my going rate is $150.” Laughter ensues.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3012/17/2020

I’m Tootie in roller skates feeling a bit unwelcome and saying tone deaf jokes.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3112/17/2020

Mrs Garrett enjoys flirting with a sexy eligible senator but Blair and Jo are certain that he is using Mrs Garrett to get to George. (Guest starring Lindsay Graham).

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3212/17/2020

The girls and Mrs. Garrett are taken hostage by a disgruntled Trump who is refusing to leave the White House. Unless his demands are met, he’ll start killing a hostage every hour on the hour. Nothing is done and no demands met.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3312/17/2020

Barron finally looses his cherry to Cousin Gerri. Don Jr. in a moment of brotherly solidarity helps him put on a condom .

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3412/17/2020

Natalie tells Tiffany, “As one plain Jane to another, how do you deal with constant rejection by men? Me, I like to eat my pain away!” Cue laugh track.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3512/17/2020

In a very special episode, Tootie and Nat break through with Trump, who admits he has a deep well of insecurity because he's always had a learning disability.

He then shits in his diaper and grabs them both by the pussy. Psyche!

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3612/17/2020

Cousin Jerri wanders off from the group and is quickly caged and sent back to Guatemala.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3712/17/2020

Blair gets a tour of Melania’s walk-in closet and screams, “Those are human skins, aren’t they?!!!”

Melania smugly replies, “No, only Central American children’s skins. I don’t really care, do you?”

Blair yells, “I care! Jesus cares!”

Melania morphs into a pointy-eared, devil-tailed demon and flies out the window.

The audience boos.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3812/17/2020

I see there are lot of writers from Chuck Lorre shows here tonight.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 3912/17/2020

Invited to the White House Easter Masquerade, Natalie makes the inexplicable decision to dress as Charlie Chaplin, a person 99% of today's young people wouldn't recognize. As she searches for a bathroom, Barron mistakes her for Adolf Hitler and rapes her, yelling, "I RAPE YOU, HITLER!"

Offsite Link
by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4012/17/2020

[quote] Barron finally looses his cherry


by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4112/18/2020

Some of the obsession on this board with Barron and his exploits are fucking sick. The kid is 14!

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4212/18/2020

[quote]Some of the obsession on this board with Barron and his exploits are fucking sick. The kid is 14!

Wait till we talk about the saucy ways of Madeleine McCann!

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4312/18/2020

I’d rather you did the same for Madeline Kahn.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4412/18/2020

[quote]Wait till we talk about the saucy ways of Madeleine McCann!

Denise, you were at my wedding!

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4512/26/2020

George threatens to beat up the President when Blair reveals he grabbed her by the pussy.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4612/26/2020


by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4701/12/2021

Tootie suggests that the group walk to the Capitol. Natalie ends up saving Nancy Pelosi during the insurrection by letting out a burrito-fueled fart that causes many of the MAGAs to flee for their lives.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4801/12/2021

In the kitchen, Tootie asks for a coke with no ice, causing Melania to panic and call ICE. A hilarious chase scene ensues with Tootie finally being tasered in the Rose Garden and getting hauled away to lockup. The other girls leave with some ‘Make America Great Again’ swag that they leave behind in a dumpster.

by Beverly’s spiked hairreply 4901/12/2021
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