What have you learned about yourself during the Covid lock down and social distancing?

I learned that at heart I am a fat whore

I learned there is a hard dollar cost to countless attempts to master sourdough bread making; not at the supermarket, but at the tailor.

I like weed more than I used to.

I've spent lockdown attending therapy (virtually, of course). I'm learning a lot about myself. I am crazier than I initially thought.

that if i still drank, i would have drank myself to death by now. Sobriety smoothed the edges of these strange times.

I've learned that it's very easy for me to fall back into bad habits: isolation, overeating, procrastination, laziness. And that I'm all-too-comfortable being alone all the time.

OP, you didn't ask for comments about your own story, but I can't help feeling--as one who made some pretty bad financial/work decisions--that if you're under 40, it's good you learned this early and if you're older than 40, you probably have a lot of skills you haven't mined as 'workskills.' (and I'm not talking sex, you bitches!)

You'll have many great jobs ahead. Just remember your decision to take better financial care.

There are people who get by okay in isolation, and people who go completely cuckoo. Most definitely in the first group.

Surprisingly, my life hasn't changed much at all. I work from home. I buy what I want online. I go to the grocery store about once a week, Starbucks drive-thru three or four times a week. I talk with my family just as much on the phone as I was when joining them. I've been comfortably living alone thirty years, since my partner died, and we were so deeply connected I've never wanted a replacement. The friends I used to visit with I now Skype with. Either I'm very boring or very content in my circumstances, and I think it's the latter.

That I'm the most hated guy on my street. I suspected it but it was confirmed now that I've been home more often as are many of my neighbors.

It all started five years ago when I got rented a bin while doing renovations and had to call the cops on a couple of neighbors who kept filling the bin with their garbage.

It's amazing how quickly married hets with kids can turn on someone when they decide you're an outsider.

I learned that I was a functioning alcoholic, so in August I quit drinking in non-social settings. As a result I can count how many alcoholic drinks I’ve had in 4 months: 10.

I learned that I was a functioning alcoholic, so in August I quit drinking in non-social settings. As a result I can count how many alcoholic drinks I’ve had in 4 months: 10.

I've learned that I prefer social distancing.

I learned, like some of the other posters, that I really like being alone and not having to deal with having to make polite small talk with dull hetero colleagues who bore me to death with stories about their goddamn kids.

I have enjoyed the isolation and being able to just get on with my work, finish what I need to do and take better care of myself at home.

I want to wear a mask 😷 the rest of my life!

I love to cook, it's just the clean-up that I hate.

I will do anything to avoid ever going back to an office again. I don't know how the hell I survived it as long as I did.

That I let fear of rejection rule too much of my life.

When this is over, I will not let fear stop me from anything. I wasted a lot of my life. I am not making that mistake twice.

That I enjoy being a sloth.

I learned that I can prepare my own meals and save money not eating out every night. I also learned how great alcohol is. I drink in moderation but really enjoy making my own cocktails.

I never liked touching icky others anyway!

That I like where I live: both my condo and neighborhood. I’ve done more walking this past year than I ever thought I would. I even walked in a light drizzle.

That I don’t need a lot to be happy. I am financially secure, for the most part. I have very little debt. I don’t mean to brag. But, earlier in my life, I can remember having so much debt that I had less than $100 in my checking account after each pay period.

I have learned the true meaning of Flag Day.

I’ve learned that I don’t really enjoy alcohol unless I am drinking with other people.

On the other hand, I have learned that my emotional eating is a much bigger problem than I thought.

For someone who has always considered myself a loner, I have really been surprised to discover that I have much closer friendships than I actually realised before, friends who have really worried about me and made sure I am ok. And I have realised I need to be a better friend to them. I’ve always been a good listener, but unless I see people I assume they are ok and I never really get in touch.

I’ve also learned have I have been a bit feckless with cash. The lockdown has really made me aware of how much cash I waste, and that I really should have far more savings.

I'll preface this that I own my own company and my staff are working from home, so I am alone in the office all day (heaven!), Prior to lockdowns I lived an exorbitantly entitled life, as a single guy, with almost every meal out or take-out. Now I make my own coffee in the morning and take it to the office in a travel mug. I make my own nutritious lunch and brown-bag it at my desk. I grocery shop like a normal person and use my freezer. My fridge has more than just condiments now. I have a post-it note on my fridge to remind me take something out of the freezer for dinner. I'm making dinner for myself again. I know this all sounds ostentatious, but lockdown has really grounded me in a good way as a single gay guy. I've never been able to sustain a longterm relationship; my own immature failing, so the lockdowns had made me slow down and get my feet more firmly on the ground.

R3: And Kathy Bates is right - it's a lot better than we were young.

That I’m definitely on the spiritual path - mind you, not religious - path of the monk and mystic I’ve suspected I was on for a few years now. COVID his not only made this blatantly clear to me, it’s acted as a catalyst for quickening my devotion to it.

Admittedly, though, it’s a painful process - purgation is a bitch! - but also quite soothing and liberating.

I've always been outgoing and sociable, the guy who got the parties together, got everyone to agree to downtown at 8:30 for Thai food despite starting with as many potential options as attendees, kept the bats and balls and bases for the softball games and the rug you could borrow if you wanted to sit outside in my office, the person everyone came to to find out what was going on and when and where. Not quite Mike organizing the week in Palm Springs, but getting there.

Lockdown has taught me that people who need people are not necessarily (and especially not these days) the luckiest people in the world. The biggest surprise to me is that I'm just fine without the crowds. I'm not quite at the misanthrope stage yet, but I'm not missing humanity much at all. It's actually been nice to take a break. If continued mask wearing is the secret, I may never take mine off.

That I am far superior to the average person.

I've learned that I really like online shopping with curbside pickup and I hope the grocery stores don't stop it when the pandemic is over.

1) How much I did things to impress/please other people when few people care THAT much about anyone but themselves.

2) How short and transitory life is, so time to start doing/being what matters most to ME.

3) What matters most to me is really fairly simple.

So yes, a lot of distraction and noise motivated life pre-pandemic. The challenge is to keep both silenced when we move beyond it (which is likely not going to happen to a great degree in 2021 IMO).

I learned that I do okay spending less time with other people (more time with myself). A few of my relationships (friends & one family member) withered because I realized I had been doing most of the work in these relationships. I started to value my time more.

I'm already in my mid-50s, I've been sober for decades, was already the type who cooked at home 9 out of 10 meals and enjoyed my own company, so I've made the switch quite easily.

I guess I've learned one thing- given all the time in the word, I still won't clean my house until it is the VERY LAST thing I can think of doing. I'll do it, but I do not enjoy it.

I learned I'm a lot braver than I thought I was, because my job involves caring for the sickest COVID patients. I always thought I was a chickenshit!

But no, there I am, and there I was earlier this year when the protective gear was dangerously inadequate, because someone's got to do it and I can.

Ive learned I really do hate most people . Especially family . I just turned 60 and I have zero interest in putting up with anyone who annoys me for any reason . I always fought the impulse to say "fuck you!" because I fancied myself a "nice" person .I really am not . I see that now . Im nothing like the person I thought I was . Being home for months gave me far too much time to think ,and tell myselfs some hard truths . Mind you ,I still restrain from screaming "fuck you!" but I dont hold back one bit on letting my displeasure be known.

Social distancing is truly one of the best outcomes of COVID.

Don't care for most people and the feeling is mutual.

I LOVE not having to be around people all the time.

[quote] Being home for months gave me far too much time to think ,and tell myselfs some hard truths . Mind you ,I still restrain from screaming "fuck you!" but I dont hold back one bit on letting my displeasure be known.

R34 - don’t hold back, I’ve found screaming “Fuck You” at the top of my lungs, to be quite liberating. As well as good way to deal with COVID craziness. No more bitches trying to get in front of me at Costco to get the last pack of toilet paper. They steer clear of me, way clear of me.

That humans basically suck and I don't miss being around people. I hate having to deal with the public and all their rudeness and bullshit (almost walking into you because they're too busy looking at their phones, not letting you off the subway first before they charge on, people not wearing masks when it's been mandatory).

I like social distancing and hope it stays. I don't want to go back to packed cinemas or packed concerts where you shoulder-to-shoulder with other people.

Like OP, I realize I haven't been good with money. I am hoping 2021 I make better decisions.

I used to think the daily commute PLUS work was what wiped me out every day. Now I realize it really is work that saps my energy and that I miss the routine of the commute - grooming, dressing, greeting all the regulars, reading the newspaper on the train, getting coffee, etc etc. I realised I am old and only have so much MENTAL energy.

Being young is great . Even virus is ageism

I learned that I like people and social interaction more than I had realized.

I work from home and have done for many years, and in a profession where the work is of a solitary nature. While not a Data Lounge Misanthrope, I have always needed a fair amount of solitary time as a balance to social interaction, but rather than retreating happily into isolation the experience has taught me that while I may take some simple steps to insulate from idiots and unpleasant people, that I underestimated how much I like and benefit from seeing people, hearing the roar of people in a cafe, being able to talk to friends and strangers without a mask and having to calculate risks of physical proximity and the degree to which they are risk-worthy.

The surprise is that I hate the many social changes of Covid more than the travel restrictions and other curbs.

I've learned that I need to do better in riding the coronacoaster, what feels like a reality with magnified ups and downs.

I managed to use the extra time to learn more about nutrition and lose 55 pounds. And I've learned more about music, photography and other things I enjoy.

At the same time, there have been moments of stress and worry about uncertainties and loss, occasional times of more isolation than I would prefer... and I'm pretty introverted.

A really good, AI-powered robot would be a handy companion of sorts and I could turn it off as needed/wanted.

I've realized that I have the attention span of a gnat and have to multitask to preserve my sanity even if it means my work process isn't as efficient as it could be.

[quote]I've been comfortably living alone thirty years, since my partner died, and we were so deeply connected I've never wanted a replacement.

I think this is a lovely statement. Imagine having someone in your life like that. Nice work R9.

Op, I've written three iterations of my answer and deleted each one. I'm extremely unhappy and lonely. My issues are my world, but given my career, health, the good health of my family, and general comfort I feel ashamed for my self-pity.

I've learned to bottle up my pain and effectively scream underwater.

R45 :hugs and kisses you:

I've learned that I'm not good at anything. I can do my menial minimum wage job but otherwise have no talents.

It really is possible to masturbate up to four times a day.

I have learned Zoom.

I’ve learned I like having an excuse not to have to see many people.

I enjoy everything about daydrinking.

Even I am bored by my moods and addictions.

I have self-diagnosed and given third-person commentary as I’ve gone through some incredible mood swings. I’m not going to say it’s good or bad, but I did avoid some impulsive splurges the last couple rounds.

R48 Only four? (placeholder for wink emoticon)

I was surprised how easily I transitioned into a total recluse. I think there was a stretch where I didn't leave my apartment building for 6 weeks, and even then it was just to get cash and meet my weed guy downstairs. Everything else gets delivered to my door. I would leave my apartment maybe once a week to throw away my trash/recycling and get my mail. Now I am trying to be better by going outside once per week, with mixed results. I go to the building's fitness center twice per week to use the treadmill/elliptical and weight machines.

I text friends and talk to my mother on the phone once per week. I haven't had a face to face conversation with someone since August.

It has taught me that my life is not the one I wanted. My friends are all scattered over the world and I haven't met anyone in person since Fen 8 2020. I worked split shifts which kept me tired and occupied and hid how empty my life is. Now that I am working from home and keeping more regular hours I find myself falling into a deep hole thinking I have no money, no partner, no friends that I can socialize with regularly and I'm really not sure what my prospects are in my 30s. I feel life passing me by, somedays it feels like I'm laying down and time is a big wave washing over me. Life seems very pointless most days and I eat crap food to feel some bit of joy.

So I learned that my life sucks and that I have a big hill to climb to do deal with my depression and do something with my life.

How about getting paid $15/hr? Let's hope Biden can make good on this.

The House passed that in minimum-wage increase in 2019. Biden was not the problem.

That I really do love my husband and enjoy spending time with him. We’ve been together 16 years and spent more time together this year then we ever have. I’m lucky. I picked a good one.

Well done R58. My husband is thousands of miles away overseas and I miss him, that's something I didn't expect so I suppose I learned something.

I learned that I like not commuting and would be fine staying home for work forever

I've learned that maybe i should have listened to that coworker a few years ago, when i explained my symptoms of depression to him and he said it sounds more like bipolar. The extremes from being hyper, ready to take on the world and fuck anything that moves to barely wanting to leave my bed and having zero sex drive has been scary.

I learned that it is now okay to tell potential employers that I only work from home. Before the pandemic, that wasn't allowed.

I learned that I DID inherit my family's "fat" gene. Years of regular exercise deceived me.

[quote] Now that I am working from home and keeping more regular hours I find myself falling into a deep hole thinking I have no money, no partner, no friends that I can socialize with regularly and I'm really not sure what my prospects are in my 30s.

R55, if this is real please try to hear this -- NOTHING about life is immutable when you are in your 30s. Whatever you don't like about the way things are can we worked on and changed. If you suffer from depression seek treatment You very likely have much more life ahead of you than you have lived -- you are not even at the mid-point -- it is by no means too late to enhance your "prospects."

I’ve learned that if you stay home and overeat for 10 months, you really will not be able to see your dick in the shower, or anywhere else for that matter.

I learned how to become a better listener when the pictures on my walls speak to me.

I already knew but was reminded how little I like being around other people. Aside from a few close friends and family members I only need other humans for sex.

I learned how random life is. Covid hapoened to both the OP and me. Because I have the sort of job that can be done at home, I’m basically fine (knock on wood) and in some ways my life is even improved a bit (around the margins).

The same pandemic leaves OP unsure about the future. It’s pure dumb luck. I’m not better or more deserving than OP.

I've learned a lot of stuff about myself, big and little. I've always enjoyed being alone, especially living alone and I'm grateful that I do. That said, I live in a very tiny place and because of covid, it's become apparent that I really need more space to live comfortably. So I'm looking but not much out there right now that I can afford. I've learned that working from home has shed a light onto how asinine having to work 40 hours a week is when my work can be done in much shorter time. I've enjoyed sleeping in instead of having to go into an office at 9am and pretending to be awake. Because I'm taking better care of myself and getting enough sleep, my health is so much better. I've also been exercising and cooking for myself a lot more than usual and have lost a lot of weight. Amazing how that happens. I also have only filled up my car twice in 2020 with gas and I walk to more places than I normally would.

I've also learned that my perspectives of myself and others are skewed. I have a hard time believing anyone likes me, but the pandemic has shown me that I'm wrong. I also have been forced to confront that I've made some odd choices in my life, but that since I was around 11 years old, I've had to take care of myself and I've done the best I could. I've saved a lot of money during this and paid off all my debt including student loans that took me 18 years to pay off. I learned that I have amazing friends and am so grateful for them. And that I need to travel more.

I learn that I like to give to charity. Also that I can let go of everything in my past and forgive myself for every mistake I've made. I learned I do not care what other people think of me but I endeavor to be kind and caring to my social service clients whom I deal with remotely. I get a lot back from them.

Finally, I refuse to feel guilty about what I didn't accomplish on a given day and if I need a nap, I'll take it.

I learned that if I haven't done anything satisfying with my life by the age of 48, I probably won't ever do anything. I've become what I never wanted to be--a single guy living in shitty place, working a shitty job and just marking days off the calendar.

R71 You can change, love.

Reading your post, though, I was reminded of that great line from Postcards from the Edge:

[quote] I always dreamed it would end like this. Alone in a tiny room with an AM radio.

That I’m a real bitch.

What awesome, insightful posts.

[quote]Alone in a tiny room with an AM radio.

now = alone in a tiny room with a laptop

R75 So true, lol.

To those of you who feel like shit and keep going (like R71), I just want to say I love you. I love you for both sharing your truth and continuing to move forward despite the setbacks and pain, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual, you are experiencing. I love you for giving people like me, whether you know or feel this, hope.

Like the stars peppered across the night sky that remind those of us who are paying attention of the inextinguishable light, you are, each and every one of you, individually and collectively, an inspiration.

I learned that I prefer to be around people a whole lot less!

I have much less use for some people than I thought. Being forced to stay home and only communicate with people via Facebook has made me realize how insane some of these people are. All the nutty conspiracy theories that some people are still endorsing. People I used to think were a little kooky, but mostly pleasant enough. This has made me think most of these people will sell me down the river in a heartbeat if they believed money or the promise of entrance to heaven was involved.

Thank God for all the sane ones still plugging away or I'd have jumped off the roof awhile back. That's another thing I've learned - a lot of people are actually trying to do the right things and help out their fellow man more than take away from them.

[quote] That's another thing I've learned - a lot of people are actually trying to do the right things and help out their fellow man more than take away from them.

The most important realization, really.

I'm okay and I will okay. I've been self reflective and have made great progress on being a nicer person. I become vastly more spiritual. I'm extremely caring of my friends and try to offer encouraging words when I feel they are needed. I'm a tad bit of a lone wolf and fine with that. Like someone else said, I will not fear rejection and go for it when this is all over. I really appreciate the simple things and looking forward to a new norm, a zest for life, an appreciation for life and to live your life to the fullest.

That I can't watch the Food Network because it's a constant reminder of how badly I failed in my career as a chef.

I learned that I am where I am in life because I permitted fear to control my life. If I had just taken a chance, or a risk I wonder how different my life would have been.

What have I learned?

As I am now working from home, I learned that my two direct managers are bigger idiots than I thought they were.

I learned that I’m over binge watching tv, I’m over internet games, surfing the internet, and going to the grocery every hour to pick up an ingredient for a new dish for dinner. I also learned it’s better to focus my energy on something creative, like painting or sewing or even creating a playlist for taking the dog for a walk. I also learned that retirement is going to be a crashing bore.

R33. Thank you for your service during this pandemic. You are a true hero.

And I’ve learned that I’d you are a dom, your subs will happily send you the craziest sex videos if you ask.

I've learnt:

- that although I am very much an introverted, needing time alone to recharge, there is something as way too much time alone. I need people more than I thought, which is a nice feeling.

- that modern society has too much choice and too much awareness of what is going on elsewhere, which leads to greater levels of anxiety and depression because of FOMO. Happiness comes when you stop wanting your life to match up to others, or stop worrying that you are missing out, and instead take joy in what you have. There is a freedom in having boundaries on your possibilities.

- everything I was told growing up about how lucky I was to grow up where I did and have the life I did was absolutely true. I had to move away to try something different, but COVID caused me to lose work, money, an apartment in a big city and have to move back home, and it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. As Barbara Bush might say: "it's working out quite well for me".

- there is a real value in the money you earn and in the work you do. Keeping your mind occupied can't be understated.

- that I now have a real sympathy with people who get stuck into the poverty cycle and what that must do to their minds. I always did feel this someway, but feel I now can imagine it even better based on my short stint in it.

- that life is beautiful. It's nuts, but this time last year I was wondering if I had the guts to end it. Today I am walking on air.

- oh and finally, that streaming services aren't worth the money just to find maybe one show you sorta feel like watching every 2 months.

^*an INTROVERT, sorry.

can you sell your ass, op? do some squats and raise that price?

I have learned that not putting other people’s wants ahead of my own needs doesn’t make me a bad person, now I need to learn the art of saying, no.

I miss things I never especially valued before.

There's a huge shopping mall near where I live in London. I always had a love hate thing with it. I miss the hell out of it.

I even miss the tube and the buses.

I learned that I hate threads like this.

I learned that I hate R91.

Great thread, OP.

That having everyone else dragged down to my lifelong level of hermitage, underemployment, and weird phobias actually hasn’t helped my life and doesnt make me feel any better, and that I’m still extremely lonely. I don’t even have friends to Skype if I wanted to. I must be the only person on the planet under 30 who literally has no one to confide in or socialise with besides their mother and their dog.

I also realise that my boundaries and my poor esteem in conjunction with bad programming (thanks for calling me “full of shit”, dad) and inner negativity has created this problem and made it chronic. I’m working on it; but I have to be honest that affirmations and mindfulness aren’t doing much to help. Anyone coping with something similar?

I'm the same as you, R93, although I'm 35 and employed.

As for what I've learned - I've learned that I love working from home and that I wish it would last forever. Working from home really eliminate 95% of office politics, a.k.a bullshit.

R93 and R94 ::hugs and kisses you both in spirit::

You are not alone.

Hey r93/94 - I’m twice your age and I can report that having friends (and poss a husband) is one of the great rewards of living. Back in my day we went to bars, formed cliques, you just knew people. I’m still friends with a lot of them and they are as comfortable to be around as an old shoe. I’m so very lucky and grateful. But I was an anxiety ridden 25 year old and i know it do take courage to say hello. But I would advise to do whatever you can to cross that bridge and make connections. When you get to my age, it really is a very positive force in your life. You can create it, it just takes some bravery and putting yourself out there - obvs post covid. Make it your priority.

I don't miss as many people as I thought and social media might not be as bad as we'd initially thought. It's kept many of us sane during this time and I'm glad we have it. I I've enjoyed catching up with people on there much more than in person.

I like not having as many social obligations and staying at home in my sweatpants has been an added bonus. I leave the house and go for a walk or get some take out whenever I'm feeling angsty and it does the trick.

I learned that I was dealing with my anxiety by doing all the mundane things I thought I hated. For some reason sitting at home a lot has heightened my anxiety.

That my life as a caregiver will not translate into a real job after my mother dies.

That I don't like men sexually after all.

I dont miss anyone I used to be in contact with

I've learned that I am where I am in life because I let fear control me. I never did anything or pursued anything because i was worried abut how I would be perceived by other people and I was afraid of looking foolish. I know part of this is because of how I was raised, my parents made sure to instill fear in us, but strangely I'm the only kid who succumbed to that brainwashing while my siblings all pursued whatever they wanted.

I've learned that eating inside restaurants is a rather overrated experience.

I'm shallow, but growing up in the 1980s all I ever wanted was a Jaguar Vanden Plas and a Rolex solid white gold Day-Date. I've never owned either and never will.

I've learned that I adapt easily.