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i haven't pooped in 11 days


by Anonymousreply 28Last Tuesday at 5:04 PM

You're probably pregnant. It's the fetus rejecting your body.

by Anonymousreply 1Last Saturday at 4:24 PM

Yes. Yes that's very normal OP.

Can we have your stuff?

by Anonymousreply 2Last Saturday at 4:27 PM

You have another bowel obstruction from your chronic use of Opioids, Matthew...

You know after all these years, those pills turn the shit in your intestines to concrete.

Go and get your bowel re-sectioned again.

P.S. And maybe have them give you a boob lift while you're there

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by Anonymousreply 3Last Saturday at 4:27 PM

You have to take the cock outta your ass occasionally to let the shit out, slut.

by Anonymousreply 4Last Saturday at 4:30 PM

I make doo doos every day!

by Anonymousreply 5Last Saturday at 4:32 PM

I hear you get a prize once you get to 20 days.

by Anonymousreply 6Last Saturday at 4:33 PM

OP I sincerely hope you're taking stool softeners, drinking gallons of water, and try some miralax. Because you are going to regret it if you don't. This is not a good time to go to the hospital.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Saturday at 4:34 PM

Have you lost a dildo?

by Anonymousreply 8Last Saturday at 4:58 PM

This thread wins the prize for Retarded Thread Of the Week.

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by Anonymousreply 9Last Saturday at 6:31 PM

Are you fasting?

by Anonymousreply 10Last Saturday at 6:33 PM

the ER staff is going to talk so much shit about you when you have to have them dig out your doodie bubble Bobby Brown style.

by Anonymousreply 11Last Saturday at 6:35 PM

OP is full of shit... literally

by Anonymousreply 12Last Saturday at 6:44 PM

Eat a bag of Haribou Sugar Free Gummy Bears.

by Anonymousreply 13Last Saturday at 6:50 PM

Drink more water. Hot.

by Anonymousreply 14Last Saturday at 6:51 PM

Why don't you ask your dead mother in a seance, OP? Didn't she also die from the same symptom?

by Anonymousreply 15Last Saturday at 6:52 PM

Eat a pint of Haagen Dazs strawberry ice cream, then make a pot of coffee. About 20 min. after you're done drinking the coffee, you'll be sprinting to the toilet.

You're welcome.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Saturday at 6:59 PM

Go to Fogo de Chao and eat to your heart's content. You will have the beef sweats and shits about an hour after and drop 10 pounds easily. You're welcome.

by Anonymousreply 17Last Sunday at 4:20 AM

OP has finally got his shit together.

by Anonymousreply 18Last Sunday at 5:53 AM

If you're serious, ask your doctor to write a prescription for a colonoscopy prep solution (such as GoLYTELY®) and use it. Without too many details I had a serious problem that was unsolvable without two courses of this type of prep solution. That was after trying every other OTC product and all of the available prescription medications and solutions.

Again, if you're serious, do the prep. Do it again, if you have to. Don't wait. You could end up in the hospital for surgery.

by Anonymousreply 19Last Sunday at 6:11 AM

You must be really hungry OP!

by Anonymousreply 20Last Sunday at 6:22 AM

Are you currently in labor, OP? Crowning? Use a pair of tongs as forecepts. I think you should name it "Dukie." Folded paper towels in the underwear!

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by Anonymousreply 21Last Sunday at 6:50 AM

Honey, after 11 days....

there is no way this is going to be an unassisted delivery

by Anonymousreply 22Last Sunday at 12:50 PM

Did the doo doos come out yet?

by Anonymousreply 23Last Monday at 12:41 AM

I had roasted turnip with sage and lentils yesterday. Today I am farting every few minutes and have shit so much. Give it a try, OP. Gas and shit keep coming out of me.

by Anonymousreply 24Last Monday at 1:43 AM

Triple dose of Miralax, use three capfuls instead of one. Repeat the triple dose in eight hours, then again after another eight hours.

I'm eternally grateful to my nurse practitioner who prescribed this after multiple visits to urgent care where burned out uncaring doctors gave me no help at all. As God is my witness, I'll never suffer needlessly from extreme IBS constipation again!

by Anonymousreply 25Last Monday at 2:10 AM

My doctor is a GI specialist and said Miralax is not a laxative and it is not addictive. YOU can take it every day or several times a week. But the key is drinking enough water and moving around. If you have IBS with constipation you need to move, baby. People who sit around are going to be in trouble. I'm talking about walking, OK. Just walk around, don't be too sedentary.

by Anonymousreply 26Last Monday at 4:54 AM

R19 Please go into more detail. Was it terribly painful?

OP, please update. I worry when DLers post about a medical issue and don't follow up.

by Anonymousreply 27Last Tuesday at 4:45 PM

I haven't pooped in 111 days!

by Anonymousreply 28Last Tuesday at 5:04 PM
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