i haven't pooped in 11 days

You're probably pregnant. It's the fetus rejecting your body.

Yes. Yes that's very normal OP.

Can we have your stuff?

You have another bowel obstruction from your chronic use of Opioids, Matthew...

You know after all these years, those pills turn the shit in your intestines to concrete.

Go and get your bowel re-sectioned again.

P.S. And maybe have them give you a boob lift while you're there

You have to take the cock outta your ass occasionally to let the shit out, slut.

I make doo doos every day!

I hear you get a prize once you get to 20 days.

OP I sincerely hope you're taking stool softeners, drinking gallons of water, and try some miralax. Because you are going to regret it if you don't. This is not a good time to go to the hospital.

Have you lost a dildo?

This thread wins the prize for Retarded Thread Of the Week.

Are you fasting?

the ER staff is going to talk so much shit about you when you have to have them dig out your doodie bubble Bobby Brown style.

OP is full of shit... literally

Eat a bag of Haribou Sugar Free Gummy Bears.

Drink more water. Hot.

Why don't you ask your dead mother in a seance, OP? Didn't she also die from the same symptom?

Eat a pint of Haagen Dazs strawberry ice cream, then make a pot of coffee. About 20 min. after you're done drinking the coffee, you'll be sprinting to the toilet.

You're welcome.

Go to Fogo de Chao and eat to your heart's content. You will have the beef sweats and shits about an hour after and drop 10 pounds easily. You're welcome.

OP has finally got his shit together.

If you're serious, ask your doctor to write a prescription for a colonoscopy prep solution (such as GoLYTELY®) and use it. Without too many details I had a serious problem that was unsolvable without two courses of this type of prep solution. That was after trying every other OTC product and all of the available prescription medications and solutions.

Again, if you're serious, do the prep. Do it again, if you have to. Don't wait. You could end up in the hospital for surgery.

You must be really hungry OP!

Are you currently in labor, OP? Crowning? Use a pair of tongs as forecepts. I think you should name it "Dukie." Folded paper towels in the underwear!

Honey, after 11 days....

there is no way this is going to be an unassisted delivery

Did the doo doos come out yet?

I had roasted turnip with sage and lentils yesterday. Today I am farting every few minutes and have shit so much. Give it a try, OP. Gas and shit keep coming out of me.

Triple dose of Miralax, use three capfuls instead of one. Repeat the triple dose in eight hours, then again after another eight hours.

I'm eternally grateful to my nurse practitioner who prescribed this after multiple visits to urgent care where burned out uncaring doctors gave me no help at all. As God is my witness, I'll never suffer needlessly from extreme IBS constipation again!

My doctor is a GI specialist and said Miralax is not a laxative and it is not addictive. YOU can take it every day or several times a week. But the key is drinking enough water and moving around. If you have IBS with constipation you need to move, baby. People who sit around are going to be in trouble. I'm talking about walking, OK. Just walk around, don't be too sedentary.

R19 Please go into more detail. Was it terribly painful?

OP, please update. I worry when DLers post about a medical issue and don't follow up.

I haven't pooped in 111 days!

Yuck

I made a big doo doo!

Tell me about it.

This reminds me of a NewsRadio episode where one of them compares quitting smoking to quitting going to the bathroom.

If this is for real, get to a doc asap.

That is not normal at all.

OP - have u shit yet?

OP, can I have your stuff?

I made a 16 inch doo doo this morning. Yep, I measured it.

Stage 4 kidney failure means death is imminent when body cannot get rid of waste.

RIP.

OP is into extreme butt play, that’s why!

I really do not like it when people don't update their medical posts.

OP, please come back and give us the satisfaction of knowing you're now regular and happy. Or have a colostomy and a smile!

Magnesium Citrate.

Grape or cherry, your choice.

Just down the whole bottle and give it 30 minutes.

I recommend chilling it first in the fridge. Makes it taste better going down.