When your doctor prescribes compression socks for your varicose veins.
You know you’re an Eldergay
by Anonymous | reply 136 | December 26, 2020 4:39 PM |
The patient thought the doctor said she had "very close veins."
by Anonymous | reply 1 | November 21, 2020 2:56 PM |
You are telling the truth. My neighbor has recently started wearing these. He's also started wearing clothes from mail clothing catalogs like BLAIR. He's given up on wearing clothes with buttons or collars.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | November 21, 2020 2:57 PM |
When give your phone number as TRafalgar 4-9970.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | November 21, 2020 2:58 PM |
That’s just being an elder.
An eldergay is when search eBay to see if you can find a pair previously owned by Carol Channing to wear.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 21, 2020 2:59 PM |
you REALLY do want kids off your lawn!
by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 21, 2020 2:59 PM |
When porn is usually repulsive.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 21, 2020 3:00 PM |
R2 If Blair doesn't have what's needed, buy from co-owned Haband.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 21, 2020 3:04 PM |
"You know you’re an Eldergay..."
When The DataLounge is your homepage.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | November 21, 2020 3:12 PM |
I may be eldergay.., yet people think I’m in my thirties!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 21, 2020 3:13 PM |
When you celebrate your 27th birthday.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 21, 2020 3:13 PM |
You used to take the trolley with Barbara Stanwyck.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | November 21, 2020 3:14 PM |
When you see a commercial for the shingles vaccine and turn to your partner and say "we should get that soon."
by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 21, 2020 3:14 PM |
When you go to...um, the...when you do...um.
Wait. What was the question?
by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 21, 2020 3:26 PM |
When you see a guy in his 50s and you think "Ugg - Twinks."
by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 21, 2020 3:27 PM |
When you have earrings, caftans older than most millennials.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 21, 2020 3:27 PM |
....when you list the fact that you wear dentures on your Grindr profile as an attribute!
by Anonymous | reply 16 | November 21, 2020 3:27 PM |
When the FiberCon tablets are right next to the Viagra in the medicine cabinet.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | November 21, 2020 3:32 PM |
When you see a handsome young man and think, “his father must be gorgeous.”
by Anonymous | reply 18 | November 21, 2020 3:35 PM |
You read the paper.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 21, 2020 3:39 PM |
You still listen to and post about Madonna and Janet. And you believe Janet will be thin again or have a hit again.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 21, 2020 3:43 PM |
When you have to Google the cultural references used on DL.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 21, 2020 4:05 PM |
When you don’t know what google is.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 21, 2020 4:18 PM |
R22, I still use Alta Vista.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 21, 2020 4:19 PM |
When you use words like 'trick' and 'lover'
by Anonymous | reply 24 | November 21, 2020 4:21 PM |
And chicken when referring to twinks.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | November 21, 2020 4:24 PM |
When you use twink when referring to chicken.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | November 21, 2020 4:25 PM |
When you chuck your knee pads for knee replacements.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | November 21, 2020 4:35 PM |
When, struggling to read the channel listings on the flat screen TV you barely know how to use, you shed a single tear for the absence of a tangible TV Guide.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | November 21, 2020 4:41 PM |
....of course it Depends, but when you cruise online looking for someone who's into diaper play.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | November 21, 2020 4:41 PM |
R26 Chicken is Tuna of the Sea!
by Anonymous | reply 31 | November 21, 2020 4:43 PM |
[quote] When, struggling to read the channel listings on the flat screen TV you barely know how to use, you shed a single tear for the absence of a tangible TV Guide
Use zap2it.com You put in your cable company and it has the listings. It even lets you arrange the channels (favorites first)
by Anonymous | reply 32 | November 21, 2020 4:46 PM |
Adding to r29’s thought:
You don’t ever leave the house without ensuring you have your reading spectacles with you.
*sigh*
by Anonymous | reply 33 | November 21, 2020 5:01 PM |
R26, Caught myself referring to someone's "lover," then changed to partner. Still think when a guy says "he's my husband," that means the guy is the bottom.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | November 21, 2020 5:22 PM |
R27, fill mine every Sunday while waiting for the Loretta Young Show to come on.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | November 21, 2020 5:24 PM |
Is she the coal miners daughter, r35?
by Anonymous | reply 36 | November 21, 2020 5:28 PM |
You plan an excursion into the city, making mental notes of where the decent, clean public bathrooms are located.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | November 21, 2020 5:29 PM |
Well, to be fair, I do that too, but for other reasons.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | November 21, 2020 5:32 PM |
You see a hot college student on the street and realize he could be your grandson.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | November 21, 2020 9:36 PM |
This thread is hilarious. Thank you those eldergays who contribute the droll humor to help me get past these difficult times.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | November 21, 2020 9:45 PM |
How do I download Google? How much is it per month?
by Anonymous | reply 41 | November 21, 2020 11:42 PM |
My computer says "You've Got Mail." When I go outside and look in the mail box, there's never anything there.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | November 22, 2020 12:07 PM |
Toilet seats in restaurants are too low. If you're lucky, there's a door knob to grab on.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | November 22, 2020 2:03 PM |
The hairs in my ears and my eyebrows are out of control and need constant tending. I'm uncomfortable describing what's going on in my nether region.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | November 22, 2020 2:30 PM |
When you stand in front of a full length mirror and realize your once thick,lush bush is now sparse and the remaining hairs are grey .
by Anonymous | reply 45 | November 22, 2020 3:39 PM |
R11- ANYONE who is old enough to remember Trolleys in NYC is DEFINITELY an eldergay.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | November 22, 2020 3:47 PM |
You still record tv shows on videotape using your vcr.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | November 22, 2020 3:49 PM |
The last trolleys in NYC were in Brooklyn. The Church Avenue and McDonald Avenue lines ended in 1956.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | November 22, 2020 3:56 PM |
....when you go to the club ready to party, but leave in a pissed off huff because the DJ repeatedly tells you he's never heard of Lawrence Welk!
by Anonymous | reply 49 | November 22, 2020 4:13 PM |
You find unused subway tokens in your underwear drawer and you try to swap them for a Metrocard.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | November 22, 2020 4:25 PM |
When you have more hair in your ears than on your head.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | November 22, 2020 4:32 PM |
R12 When you actually got your shingles vaccine a few days ago and your arm still hurts.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | November 22, 2020 4:58 PM |
And is black and blue for the next three weeks.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | November 22, 2020 5:02 PM |
[quote] You still record tv shows on videotape using your vcr.
What’s this VCR thingy?
Is it better than reel-to-reel?
SPEAK UP.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | November 22, 2020 9:43 PM |
R7, this is R2. You're correct.
When, Mr. D., the eldergay upstairs from us, was in the hospital for two weeks, we brought in his mail. He received a HABAND catalog (No ironing!) and a BLAIR catalog (No buttons!) and READERS DIGEST.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | November 22, 2020 11:48 PM |
R55 I get those catalogues plus Carol Wright and REMINISCE. I do not consider myself an ElderGay. I am an AncientGay. We need a new category for those of us over 85 (but I look 72)!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | November 23, 2020 12:29 AM |
You ask you husband to pick up vitamins and he comes home with GERITOL. He's not from US so he's unaware of the significance. I actually had a full on, clutch my pearls with one hand and the counter with another, moment.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | November 23, 2020 12:38 AM |
When you watch old sitcom reruns from your childhood and just now notice how the father character is hot AF.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | November 23, 2020 12:47 AM |
R58 you mean the father on The Donna Reed Show?
by Anonymous | reply 59 | November 23, 2020 1:23 AM |
R57 or Serutan, Nature's spelled backwards.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | November 23, 2020 1:24 AM |
In 1955 knew I was gay when I got a boner looking at Hugh O'Brian's hairy chest on "Wyatt Earp."
by Anonymous | reply 61 | November 23, 2020 1:39 AM |
[quote]You don’t ever leave the house without ensuring you have your reading spectacles with you.
Unless you're at CVS or a grocery store....then you can just borrow a pair from the display and use them while you shop. In a pinch.
Also, when your hot 28-year-old doctor starts to lecture you about "men your age." Ouch.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | November 23, 2020 1:42 AM |
...when you have to keep a three-day journal of "liquid in, liquid out" (date, time, and volume) to help your urologist figure out the best way to manage your frequent urination.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | November 23, 2020 1:45 AM |
When the optometrist said "bifocals".
by Anonymous | reply 64 | November 23, 2020 1:49 AM |
When you're ECSTATIC that they're showing full performances from The Ed Sullivan Show on YouTube.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | November 23, 2020 2:06 AM |
You know what Top Gun is. Seriously I asked a couple young coworkers and they stared at me with blank stares.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | November 23, 2020 2:08 AM |
....when your favorite First Lady is Frances Cleveland.
We love you, Frances Cleveland troll!
by Anonymous | reply 67 | November 23, 2020 2:23 AM |
When the cable guy looks at my framed picture of me, on my hottest day in life, between 2 Oscar winners and says, "OMG was that YOU?" Ouch. Followed by " Are those your parents?" Yes, yes they are! No, no you can't have a glass of water. Please leave now, I have a terrible headache and need to lie down.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | November 23, 2020 2:32 AM |
When your doctor refers you to a cardiologist and you protest that cardiologists are for old people and your doctor smiles and points out that you are 64 years old, you are an eldergay.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | November 23, 2020 2:32 AM |
When you realize you have your "stories"
by Anonymous | reply 70 | November 23, 2020 3:21 AM |
When you can remember your favorite TV show going from B&W to color.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | November 23, 2020 3:22 AM |
R71 Gilligan’s Island
by Anonymous | reply 72 | November 23, 2020 3:50 AM |
When you celebrate your 18th birthday.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | November 23, 2020 4:05 AM |
When the "Tasteful Friends......" real estate thread you're waiting for includes this pic
by Anonymous | reply 75 | November 23, 2020 11:11 AM |
Your spouse brings home a box of adult diapers, and puts them where you will see them.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | November 25, 2020 1:28 AM |
R60 LOL!
by Anonymous | reply 77 | November 25, 2020 1:32 AM |
When the thing you look forward to the most is a nap.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | November 25, 2020 1:38 AM |
I look forward to the dreams in my naps, R78, you stud.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | November 25, 2020 1:47 AM |
You have a Victrola.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | November 25, 2020 2:03 AM |
Music icons from your teenage years are dead.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | November 25, 2020 2:35 AM |
You know you're an eldergay when you know the names Jan Miner, Jesse White, Jane Withers and Virginia Christine AND you instantly know what they had in common.
No Googling, Ladies.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | November 25, 2020 3:01 AM |
R 82 I didn't Google, what did they have in common?
by Anonymous | reply 83 | November 25, 2020 10:00 AM |
I know who Jan Miner and Josephine—I mean Jane—Withers are, r82. The other two...??
by Anonymous | reply 84 | November 25, 2020 10:04 AM |
[quote] Jesse White, and Virginia Christine
Well I know these two were governors. One was governor of Minnesota and the other New Jersey, who also recently had COVID.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | November 25, 2020 12:45 PM |
Madge the Manicurist, The Maytag Repair Man, Josephine the Lady Plumber, and Mrs. Olson.
Oh, you kids.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | November 25, 2020 12:49 PM |
I'm only 44, but in the past few years there have been multiple times when I've fallen and really couldn't get up. Just happened to me again a week ago, I slipped in my bathroom and hit my back against the edge of my tub really hard. I just laid there on the floor for like 10 minutes wincing in pain - it's still sore.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | November 25, 2020 1:07 PM |
When you think that "you know you're an X" threads are clever.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | November 25, 2020 1:10 PM |
When those kids with their MySpace and PacMan and grunge music get on your nerves.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | November 25, 2020 1:16 PM |
This is really weird. You see some guy on tv that looks really old. You think of him as being much older than you. Then you realize that at 45 year old he's TEN years younger than you.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | November 25, 2020 2:07 PM |
You still bristle at any mention of the "Great Darren Debacle."
by Anonymous | reply 91 | November 25, 2020 2:09 PM |
[quote]When you think that "you know you're an X" threads are clever.
When you realize you have no idea what a "you know you're an X" thread is.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | November 25, 2020 2:10 PM |
When you’re more excited about your prescription delivery than your Amazon delivery.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | November 25, 2020 2:21 PM |
When you spend your days online browsing health insurance plans instead of exotic vacation destinations.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | November 25, 2020 2:57 PM |
[quote] This is really weird. You see some guy on tv that looks really old. You think of him as being much older than you. Then you realize that at 45 year old he's TEN years younger than you.
For Broadway-loving eldergays:
When you realize that Tony in THE MOST HAPPY FELLA, the one about whom Rosabella sings "He's an old man, an old man. I don't want him breathing all over me!' was played by actor 53 years old, ten years younger than you are now.
And for good measure, Ezio Pinza, the 'December' in the May/December romance in SOUTH PACIFIC was only 57.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | November 25, 2020 3:14 PM |
[quote] When the cable guy looks at my framed picture of me, on my hottest day in life, between 2 Oscar winners and says, "OMG was that YOU?" Ouch. Followed by " Are those your parents?"
I worked for a company that, due to the big boss being tired of seeing frauen desks overloaded with dozens of photos of nauseatingly-cute grandchildren, instituted a very strict desk policy, wherein only one company-provided picture frame was allowed. One fun-loving old queen took his 'approved' frame, put a picture of Ethel Merman in it and stuck it on his desk,
One day some little gayling, complete with sweater-over-shoulders and tight slacks accentuating his perky little butt, stopped by to ask the old guy a question, saw the photo of Merman, and cooed 'Oooh, is that your mother?'
The old queen extended his arm, pointed his bony finger at the door and screamed "Out! Out! Turn in your gay card and Get Out NOW!'
by Anonymous | reply 96 | November 25, 2020 3:31 PM |
When a Gayling asks, "Was Kaposi sarcoma a band?"
by Anonymous | reply 97 | December 25, 2020 5:48 PM |
When you talk about hip pain to a cute 20 year old guy interested in you.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | December 25, 2020 5:54 PM |
When you snap at your husband for getting Audrey and Jayne Meadows mixed up. And later pass out after just one Tom Collins.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | December 25, 2020 5:56 PM |
When you order a Tom Collins.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | December 25, 2020 6:06 PM |
When you turn on closed captions everytime you watch something on TV.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | December 25, 2020 6:06 PM |
When you saw the original cast of CHICAGO. And I don't mean Ann Reinking and Bebe Neuwirth.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | December 25, 2020 6:11 PM |
When you don't go anywhere not knowing where an available restroom will be.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | December 25, 2020 6:19 PM |
when you become confused, uncertain and don't know how to act when:
you're at someone's home and there are both heterosexual and gay people in attendance .
by Anonymous | reply 104 | December 25, 2020 7:25 PM |
When you’d rather suck a Werther’s Original than a cock.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | December 25, 2020 7:40 PM |
You're officially old when someone says, "You look good for your age."
by Anonymous | reply 106 | December 25, 2020 7:43 PM |
[quote] I worked for a company that, due to the big boss being tired of seeing frauen desks overloaded with dozens of photos of nauseatingly-cute grandchildren, instituted a very strict desk policy, wherein only one company-provided picture frame was allowed.
R96, was the big boss a gay man?
by Anonymous | reply 107 | December 25, 2020 7:48 PM |
If so, I want to know why he was referred to as the “big boss.”
by Anonymous | reply 108 | December 25, 2020 7:57 PM |
When you're down to wanking only 4 times a week.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | December 25, 2020 7:57 PM |
I was in PacSun (a store I used to work for as a kid - though not this one) and the kid working there said "I hope you don't get insulted or something but you dress really great for a guy your age."
by Anonymous | reply 110 | December 25, 2020 8:20 PM |
When cashiers offer you the senior discount and you appreciate it instead of being insulted..
by Anonymous | reply 111 | December 25, 2020 9:17 PM |
R68, I know that this was addressed in another thread, but you tip your cable guy???
by Anonymous | reply 112 | December 25, 2020 10:41 PM |
Only if he swallows.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | December 25, 2020 10:55 PM |
R110, I’m so pleased those blouses I picked out for you are getting noticed!!
by Anonymous | reply 114 | December 25, 2020 11:07 PM |
When you stop buying cute new sweaters for yourself each fall and acknowledge that those you have will last you for the rest of your life (if you can just keep the weight down).
by Anonymous | reply 115 | December 26, 2020 12:57 AM |
When your signature fragrance is Gold Bond Medicated Powder.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | December 26, 2020 1:25 AM |
When the young woman at the fast food place where you're ordering breakfast asks if you'd like a free senior coffee, and you say I don't think I'm old enough (because you're 48), and she says you look like you're old enough.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | December 26, 2020 1:28 AM |
....when you get down on the floor to pick something up from under the table, bed, etc or get a book from the lowest shelf and then look around frantically to see what you can lean on to help you get up. And it hurts.
by Anonymous | reply 118 | December 26, 2020 2:30 AM |
When you listen to your Taylor Dayne cd on a CD player. And know all the words.
by Anonymous | reply 119 | December 26, 2020 2:43 AM |
When you listen to your Mildred Bailey 78s on your phonograph, but you no longer remember the words.
by Anonymous | reply 120 | December 26, 2020 2:45 AM |
When you have to hold onto something to wriggle out of your skinny jeans.
When you lose your breath tying your shoelaces.
When it's an effort to put on your socks.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | December 26, 2020 2:47 AM |
R121, I’m picturing all 3 scenarios and laughing.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | December 26, 2020 3:35 AM |
Who were the “two Oscar winners”?
by Anonymous | reply 123 | December 26, 2020 9:20 AM |
[quote]Music icons from your teenage years are dead.
To be fair, us GenXers have been dealing with this since the mid 1990s, though they have been picking up the pace in recent years.
by Anonymous | reply 124 | December 26, 2020 10:50 AM |
Glenn Miller was only 40 when he died. Helen Morgan was 41. Patsy Cline was 31.
It's not a new phenomenon.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | December 26, 2020 1:29 PM |
Lower back pain. Should I resume yoga?
by Anonymous | reply 126 | December 26, 2020 1:59 PM |
You know you're an Eldergay when you pay attention to Joe Namath pitching Medicare Advantage plans and not because he got soooooo old.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | December 26, 2020 2:02 PM |
If you regularly google celebrities, who technically haven’t been celebrities for the past thirty years.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | December 26, 2020 2:30 PM |
When your afternoon nap is the best sleep you get all day.
by Anonymous | reply 129 | December 26, 2020 2:48 PM |
If you have to choose between good sex and a good dump, you choose the latter.
by Anonymous | reply 130 | December 26, 2020 2:56 PM |
R130, and the reason you make that choice is that you can't possibly have good sex while you are so plugged up.
by Anonymous | reply 131 | December 26, 2020 3:05 PM |
r96 how long ago did the Ethel Merman story happen? If it happened within the last 20 or so years, I can't blame someone for not knowing who she was.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | December 26, 2020 3:50 PM |
You can remember when Madonna first became famous, and what a SCANDAL she was!
by Anonymous | reply 133 | December 26, 2020 3:53 PM |
R127 And you start wondering about those “home delivered meals”…
by Anonymous | reply 134 | December 26, 2020 4:10 PM |
When you've convinced yourself you still look half your actual age.
by Anonymous | reply 135 | December 26, 2020 4:27 PM |
[quote]When you listen to your Mildred Bailey 78s on your phonograph, but you no longer remember the words.
When you use the word phonograph.
by Anonymous | reply 136 | December 26, 2020 4:39 PM |