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You know you’re an Eldergay

When your doctor prescribes compression socks for your varicose veins.

by Anonymousreply 9611/25/2020

The patient thought the doctor said she had "very close veins."

by Anonymousreply 111/21/2020

You are telling the truth. My neighbor has recently started wearing these. He's also started wearing clothes from mail clothing catalogs like BLAIR. He's given up on wearing clothes with buttons or collars.

by Anonymousreply 211/21/2020

When give your phone number as TRafalgar 4-9970.

by Anonymousreply 311/21/2020

That’s just being an elder.

An eldergay is when search eBay to see if you can find a pair previously owned by Carol Channing to wear.

by Anonymousreply 411/21/2020

you REALLY do want kids off your lawn!

by Anonymousreply 511/21/2020

When porn is usually repulsive.

by Anonymousreply 611/21/2020

R2 If Blair doesn't have what's needed, buy from co-owned Haband.

by Anonymousreply 711/21/2020

"You know you’re an Eldergay..."

When The DataLounge is your homepage.

by Anonymousreply 811/21/2020

I may be eldergay.., yet people think I’m in my thirties!

by Anonymousreply 911/21/2020

When you celebrate your 27th birthday.

by Anonymousreply 1011/21/2020

You used to take the trolley with Barbara Stanwyck.

by Anonymousreply 1111/21/2020

When you see a commercial for the shingles vaccine and turn to your partner and say "we should get that soon."

by Anonymousreply 1211/21/2020

When you go, the...when you

Wait. What was the question?

by Anonymousreply 1311/21/2020

When you see a guy in his 50s and you think "Ugg - Twinks."

by Anonymousreply 1411/21/2020

When you have earrings, caftans older than most millennials.

by Anonymousreply 1511/21/2020

....when you list the fact that you wear dentures on your Grindr profile as an attribute!

by Anonymousreply 1611/21/2020

When the FiberCon tablets are right next to the Viagra in the medicine cabinet.

by Anonymousreply 1711/21/2020

When you see a handsome young man and think, “his father must be gorgeous.”

by Anonymousreply 1811/21/2020

You read the paper.

by Anonymousreply 1911/21/2020

You still listen to and post about Madonna and Janet. And you believe Janet will be thin again or have a hit again.

by Anonymousreply 2011/21/2020

When you have to Google the cultural references used on DL.

by Anonymousreply 2111/21/2020

When you don’t know what google is.

by Anonymousreply 2211/21/2020

R22, I still use Alta Vista.

by Anonymousreply 2311/21/2020

When you use words like 'trick' and 'lover'

by Anonymousreply 2411/21/2020

And chicken when referring to twinks.

by Anonymousreply 2511/21/2020

When you use twink when referring to chicken.

by Anonymousreply 2611/21/2020

When you own one of these:

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by Anonymousreply 2711/21/2020

When you chuck your knee pads for knee replacements.

by Anonymousreply 2811/21/2020

When, struggling to read the channel listings on the flat screen TV you barely know how to use, you shed a single tear for the absence of a tangible TV Guide.

by Anonymousreply 2911/21/2020

....of course it Depends, but when you cruise online looking for someone who's into diaper play.

by Anonymousreply 3011/21/2020

R26 Chicken is Tuna of the Sea!

by Anonymousreply 3111/21/2020

[quote] When, struggling to read the channel listings on the flat screen TV you barely know how to use, you shed a single tear for the absence of a tangible TV Guide

Use You put in your cable company and it has the listings. It even lets you arrange the channels (favorites first)

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 3211/21/2020

Adding to r29’s thought:

You don’t ever leave the house without ensuring you have your reading spectacles with you.


by Anonymousreply 3311/21/2020

R26, Caught myself referring to someone's "lover," then changed to partner. Still think when a guy says "he's my husband," that means the guy is the bottom.

by Anonymousreply 3411/21/2020

R27, fill mine every Sunday while waiting for the Loretta Young Show to come on.

by Anonymousreply 3511/21/2020

Is she the coal miners daughter, r35?

by Anonymousreply 3611/21/2020

You plan an excursion into the city, making mental notes of where the decent, clean public bathrooms are located.

by Anonymousreply 3711/21/2020

Well, to be fair, I do that too, but for other reasons.

by Anonymousreply 3811/21/2020

You see a hot college student on the street and realize he could be your grandson.

by Anonymousreply 3911/21/2020

This thread is hilarious. Thank you those eldergays who contribute the droll humor to help me get past these difficult times.

by Anonymousreply 4011/21/2020

How do I download Google? How much is it per month?

by Anonymousreply 4111/21/2020

My computer says "You've Got Mail." When I go outside and look in the mail box, there's never anything there.

by Anonymousreply 4211/22/2020

Toilet seats in restaurants are too low. If you're lucky, there's a door knob to grab on.

by Anonymousreply 4311/22/2020

The hairs in my ears and my eyebrows are out of control and need constant tending. I'm uncomfortable describing what's going on in my nether region.

by Anonymousreply 4411/22/2020

When you stand in front of a full length mirror and realize your once thick,lush bush is now sparse and the remaining hairs are grey .

by Anonymousreply 4511/22/2020

R11- ANYONE who is old enough to remember Trolleys in NYC is DEFINITELY an eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 4611/22/2020

You still record tv shows on videotape using your vcr.

by Anonymousreply 4711/22/2020

The last trolleys in NYC were in Brooklyn. The Church Avenue and McDonald Avenue lines ended in 1956.

by Anonymousreply 4811/22/2020

....when you go to the club ready to party, but leave in a pissed off huff because the DJ repeatedly tells you he's never heard of Lawrence Welk!

by Anonymousreply 4911/22/2020

You find unused subway tokens in your underwear drawer and you try to swap them for a Metrocard.

by Anonymousreply 5011/22/2020

When you have more hair in your ears than on your head.

by Anonymousreply 5111/22/2020

R12 When you actually got your shingles vaccine a few days ago and your arm still hurts.

by Anonymousreply 5211/22/2020

And is black and blue for the next three weeks.

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by Anonymousreply 5311/22/2020

[quote] You still record tv shows on videotape using your vcr.

What’s this VCR thingy?

Is it better than reel-to-reel?


by Anonymousreply 5411/22/2020

R7, this is R2. You're correct.

When, Mr. D., the eldergay upstairs from us, was in the hospital for two weeks, we brought in his mail. He received a HABAND catalog (No ironing!) and a BLAIR catalog (No buttons!) and READERS DIGEST.

by Anonymousreply 5511/22/2020

R55 I get those catalogues plus Carol Wright and REMINISCE. I do not consider myself an ElderGay. I am an AncientGay. We need a new category for those of us over 85 (but I look 72)!

by Anonymousreply 5611/22/2020

You ask you husband to pick up vitamins and he comes home with GERITOL. He's not from US so he's unaware of the significance. I actually had a full on, clutch my pearls with one hand and the counter with another, moment.

by Anonymousreply 5711/22/2020

When you watch old sitcom reruns from your childhood and just now notice how the father character is hot AF.

by Anonymousreply 5811/22/2020

R58 you mean the father on The Donna Reed Show?

by Anonymousreply 5911/22/2020

R57 or Serutan, Nature's spelled backwards.

by Anonymousreply 6011/22/2020

In 1955 knew I was gay when I got a boner looking at Hugh O'Brian's hairy chest on "Wyatt Earp."

by Anonymousreply 6111/22/2020

[quote]You don’t ever leave the house without ensuring you have your reading spectacles with you.

Unless you're at CVS or a grocery store....then you can just borrow a pair from the display and use them while you shop. In a pinch.

Also, when your hot 28-year-old doctor starts to lecture you about "men your age." Ouch.

by Anonymousreply 6211/22/2020

...when you have to keep a three-day journal of "liquid in, liquid out" (date, time, and volume) to help your urologist figure out the best way to manage your frequent urination.

by Anonymousreply 6311/22/2020

When the optometrist said "bifocals".

by Anonymousreply 6411/22/2020

When you're ECSTATIC that they're showing full performances from The Ed Sullivan Show on YouTube.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 6511/22/2020

You know what Top Gun is. Seriously I asked a couple young coworkers and they stared at me with blank stares.

by Anonymousreply 6611/22/2020

....when your favorite First Lady is Frances Cleveland.

We love you, Frances Cleveland troll!

by Anonymousreply 6711/22/2020

When the cable guy looks at my framed picture of me, on my hottest day in life, between 2 Oscar winners and says, "OMG was that YOU?" Ouch. Followed by " Are those your parents?" Yes, yes they are! No, no you can't have a glass of water. Please leave now, I have a terrible headache and need to lie down.

by Anonymousreply 6811/22/2020

When your doctor refers you to a cardiologist and you protest that cardiologists are for old people and your doctor smiles and points out that you are 64 years old, you are an eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 6911/22/2020

When you realize you have your "stories"

by Anonymousreply 7011/22/2020

When you can remember your favorite TV show going from B&W to color.

by Anonymousreply 7111/22/2020

R71 Gilligan’s Island

by Anonymousreply 7211/22/2020

When you celebrate your 18th birthday.

by Anonymousreply 7311/22/2020

When you turn into this:

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by Anonymousreply 7411/23/2020

When the "Tasteful Friends......" real estate thread you're waiting for includes this pic

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by Anonymousreply 7511/23/2020

Your spouse brings home a box of adult diapers, and puts them where you will see them.

by Anonymousreply 7611/24/2020

R60 LOL!

by Anonymousreply 7711/24/2020

When the thing you look forward to the most is a nap.

by Anonymousreply 7811/24/2020

I look forward to the dreams in my naps, R78, you stud.

by Anonymousreply 7911/24/2020

You have a Victrola.

by Anonymousreply 8011/24/2020

Music icons from your teenage years are dead.

by Anonymousreply 8111/24/2020

You know you're an eldergay when you know the names Jan Miner, Jesse White, Jane Withers and Virginia Christine AND you instantly know what they had in common.

No Googling, Ladies.

by Anonymousreply 8211/24/2020

R 82 I didn't Google, what did they have in common?

by Anonymousreply 8311/25/2020

I know who Jan Miner and Josephine—I mean Jane—Withers are, r82. The other two...??

by Anonymousreply 8411/25/2020

[quote] Jesse White, and Virginia Christine

Well I know these two were governors. One was governor of Minnesota and the other New Jersey, who also recently had COVID.

by Anonymousreply 8511/25/2020

Madge the Manicurist, The Maytag Repair Man, Josephine the Lady Plumber, and Mrs. Olson.

Oh, you kids.

by Anonymousreply 8611/25/2020

I'm only 44, but in the past few years there have been multiple times when I've fallen and really couldn't get up. Just happened to me again a week ago, I slipped in my bathroom and hit my back against the edge of my tub really hard. I just laid there on the floor for like 10 minutes wincing in pain - it's still sore.

by Anonymousreply 8711/25/2020

When you think that "you know you're an X" threads are clever.

by Anonymousreply 8811/25/2020

When those kids with their MySpace and PacMan and grunge music get on your nerves.

by Anonymousreply 8911/25/2020

This is really weird. You see some guy on tv that looks really old. You think of him as being much older than you. Then you realize that at 45 year old he's TEN years younger than you.

by Anonymousreply 9011/25/2020

You still bristle at any mention of the "Great Darren Debacle."

by Anonymousreply 9111/25/2020

[quote]When you think that "you know you're an X" threads are clever.

When you realize you have no idea what a "you know you're an X" thread is.

by Anonymousreply 9211/25/2020

When you’re more excited about your prescription delivery than your Amazon delivery.

by Anonymousreply 9311/25/2020

When you spend your days online browsing health insurance plans instead of exotic vacation destinations.

by Anonymousreply 9411/25/2020

[quote] This is really weird. You see some guy on tv that looks really old. You think of him as being much older than you. Then you realize that at 45 year old he's TEN years younger than you.

For Broadway-loving eldergays:

When you realize that Tony in THE MOST HAPPY FELLA, the one about whom Rosabella sings "He's an old man, an old man. I don't want him breathing all over me!' was played by actor 53 years old, ten years younger than you are now.

And for good measure, Ezio Pinza, the 'December' in the May/December romance in SOUTH PACIFIC was only 57.

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by Anonymousreply 9511/25/2020

[quote] When the cable guy looks at my framed picture of me, on my hottest day in life, between 2 Oscar winners and says, "OMG was that YOU?" Ouch. Followed by " Are those your parents?"

I worked for a company that, due to the big boss being tired of seeing frauen desks overloaded with dozens of photos of nauseatingly-cute grandchildren, instituted a very strict desk policy, wherein only one company-provided picture frame was allowed. One fun-loving old queen took his 'approved' frame, put a picture of Ethel Merman in it and stuck it on his desk,

One day some little gayling, complete with sweater-over-shoulders and tight slacks accentuating his perky little butt, stopped by to ask the old guy a question, saw the photo of Merman, and cooed 'Oooh, is that your mother?'

The old queen extended his arm, pointed his bony finger at the door and screamed "Out! Out! Turn in your gay card and Get Out NOW!'

by Anonymousreply 9611/25/2020
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