WHY DO HUMANS KISS????

It's a good question. I've wondered that before, too. Is it in our DNA, or a social construct?

Apes kiss.

So it's a social construct based on the Planet of the Apes movies.

True story: no one ever kissed until Charleton Heston kissed Zira. Then everyone wanted to kiss chimps.

Until that lady got her face ripped off.

Of course, that didn't stop me.

It's why I'm banned from a lot of zoos.

I don't wish to disrespect your thoughtfulness and curiosity, but after much thinking on several odd "mysteries", searching for evolutionary based reasons for things is often fruitless. Take for example our own same-sex attraction. Homosexuality doesn't seem to fit or serve that end goal either.

It's like how It always strikes me as funny whenever gays and lesbians refer to pheromones and finding partners, and the real belief by some that one choses his or her partners unknowingly, through a sixth sense, (pheremones influencing behaviour) because "evolution" has caused us to seek partners with different immune systems, or blood types...or whatever. Even if it were to be proven for Heterosexuals, I don't see how it automatically would apply to [italic] us [/italic].

That one for two reasons: There is no science-based evidence for pheremones existing in humans, and gay and lesbian lovers cannot mate, so I'm not certain where they believe a gay couple is influencing the future gene pool.

My roundabout, or round the corner logic would claim there isn't an evolutionary reason behind much of human behaviour, sexually, or otherwise.

Open your eyes and look at me. No, I don't think I will kiss you — although you need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how. —But, Scarlett, you have the STOP digging up those dirty radishes and popping them into your mouth.

[quote] It's why I'm banned from a lot of zoos.

Why don’t you just buy it?

Because when we're hot for someone we like invading their body any way we can, and vice-versa. Well.. within reason

"It's why I'm banned from a lot of zoos."

"Why don’t you just buy it?"

If you saw my flat ass you'd know I'm no Matt Damon.

Humans have used various things to clean their mouths for millenia - various kinds of twigs, fibers, green leaves - the Chinese have had hog bristle toothbrushes since the middle ages at least and in Europe they've had them at least since the 1600s. But, yes, prior to the 20th century, most people lost a lot of their teeth if they were in the small minority of people who lived past 50. We know, for instance, that George Washington had only one original tooth left when he was elected first President of the US in 1789. With no proper filling material, people had their teeth pulled if they were causing pain. I think breath is partly dependent on diet, but, yes, I'm guessing that deep kissing became much more pleasurable with the advent of good dental hygiene plus good modern dentistry.

Bigger mystery, why do humans rim?

Kissing is such a turn on for me. It’s like turning the ignition. I don’t think I could get particularly horny without it. I think it’s probably not so much the kissing itself but the close, intimate contact and the hormones it releases in the brain that make it an important part of human bonding.

Genetic taste test to see if your kissing partner will make a good mate.

Also read somewhere that men are slobbery kissers because they are trying to give their partner, usually a female with lower testosterone levels, a hit of testosterone to make her more horny. That's why you'll see straight men seemingly trying to swallow their partner's faces.

R2 I love you. I'll marry you if you're not an ape.

[Quote] Also read somewhere that men are slobbery kissers because they are trying to give their partner, usually a female with lower testosterone levels, a hit of testosterone to make her more horny. That's why you'll see straight men seemingly trying to swallow their partner's faces.

That's disgusting yet fascinating.

Humans are social creatures and we share what we have. The dirty experience we have is breast feeding. The pucker and smack of a kiss to express affection and the desire to care may ape nursing.

[quote]What is the evolutionary reason

You don't know what evolution means.

They do it because it feels good, which is the only reason they have sex. People didn't originally fuck because they wanted to procreate, they did it because it felt good; babies were a byproduct of that. If it didn't feel good, there wouldn't be any procreation.

When did kissing on talk shows become standard procedure?

Viewing vintage talk shows on YouTube, guests would shake hands with the host and other guests.

How else am I going to get my false teeth out when I use super glue rather than polly grip?

[quote]gay and lesbian lovers cannot mate, so I'm not certain where they believe a gay couple is influencing the future gene pool... My roundabout, or round the corner logic would claim there isn't an evolutionary reason behind much of human behaviour, sexually, or otherwise.

Just because you can't figure out the reason doesn't mean there isn't one. Check this out, R3:

r18 That is a fascinating article and explores ideas and theories I first stumbled upon 20 years ago just as genetic testing and gene isolating was developing. It's probably not far off in the future when scientists will finally know what causes homosexuality.

R15, sex is not fun and doesn't feel good to a lot of the animal kingdom. We're not the only species on the planet and they all evolve. One of the actual theories as to why sex feels good to humans is social. It's a bonding experience that allowed for a stronger bond between human parents who then both stick around to raise the children. Physically, women are also more likely to get pregnant if they orgasm due to the movement of the cervix.

So your date will pay for dinner.

But why do humans kiss?

I was told as a freshman in a Catholic school (by an 'authority' figure) that kissing represented sex. The girl's mouth represented her vagina and the boy's tongue, his penis. Yep, that's how we learned it.

But on an evolutionary scale, I think when humans starting walking upright, their hips rotated, over time, and they stopped having doggy style sex and started having face-to-face sex. As a result, the mouths came together and "kissing" became a thing.

I know men get hard when they kiss someone, so it must be an evolutionary trait, to get human men aroused.

Eskimo’s do the nose rub thing. I think it must have derived from “sniffing” and “feeling out” your mate.

Parakeets gently bite each other's beaks as a sign of affection.

R18 Thanks for that link Dragon. Quite an interesting article, and I agree with many of the theories put forward, Homosexuality is innate, through genes, or epigenetic changes. I'm not at all questioning any of that, and certainly acknowledge our worth and usefulness in society.

I am somewhat familiar with the usefulness argument of "The Gay Uncle Theory", as well as implications for the broader community insofar as the notion "It takes a village to raise a child" is concerned; yet I'm still not entirely convinced it's necessarily an [italic] evolutionary [/italic] explanation, device, or factor.

I suppose I have a strong held belief in the randomness of things; not unlike how some materialists have an objection to any spiritual claims, or paranormal claims. If we were to use the same logic, I suppose the same evolutionary arguments could be made for the existence of sterile individuals, the asexual, the unattractive, or a whole host of other individuals who may be at a disadvantage reproducing.

Expecting or seeking an evolutionary advantage for everything seems predicated on a belief that everything about our existence up to present is due to a highly ordered set of laws (evolution) which I often question. To me, it's akin to believing in predestination, or some sense of fate. If evolutionary theories generally hold as a tenet, or basic law that it is fundamentally "survival of the fittest" I should think this evolutionary explanation for us negates that, at least for the individual.

Furthermore I don't think we need an evolutionary justification for our behaviours either. As the poster upthread who mentioned rimming, I would add sodomy to the mix as well. Kissing does release and promotes the production of Oxytocin, (the "love hormone") so I think enhancing bonds, and strengthening intimacy chemically may be the best evolutionary argument for kissing.

R27 The Australian article in R18 still doesn't address or negate my point about there being no merit to any theory regarding gay couples unknowingly, or unwittingly "sniffing out" different immune systems of prospective partners on account of pheremones directing our behaviour. That was the finer point of what I had objected to, linking to no effect on the collective gene pool. That would only apply to the Hetties.

People kiss because it feels good.

It's a social construct. Kissing was introduced to Japan during the late 19th century. Before that, it was not a thing.

I sat down next to a guy I knew one time (who I didn't like) and got a whiff of him and said, "Man, you need a shower you smell like the ocean." He was a surfer. He replied, "I just took a shower an hour ago!" I leaned over and took a big sniff and I realized what I was smelling, was his pheromones. It wasn't stinky, or bad, but I didn't like the smell of him. His odor made me angry.

It made me think about evolution and how human males are still animals. It also brought me back to when I first became sexually active as a 12-year-old, and I was fascinated by how different the boys' flesh smelled when I'd get close to them. Again, not sweaty or musky, just an overall scent that was unique to each. The boy who smelled the strongest was Asian, but I think it was his diet high in fish and soy sauce, that made him odoriferous.

R31 Whatever you smelt, and found offensive emanating from that bloke was BO.... the poop that bacteria make digesting sweat, oils, dead skin, etc through an enzymatic process. There is no evidence to suggest humans emit, or respond to pheremones. Pheremones are odourless messengers anyhow.

We may react to smells, positively or negatively, but we actually lack certain structures which would detect them, even if human pheremones did actually exist.

R32, there's no question that human pheromones exist; the reactions have been empirically verified. The specific molecules which cause the reactions have not yet been identified. (see article at scientificamerican.com/article/are-human-pheromones-real/ ; will not post here.)

It may be that one of the reasons pheromonal reactions are understated in today's humans is how long we've been suppressing our natural odors with perfumes or other aromatics, so that their natural functions have become atrophied.

R33 Thanks, I'll check it out... I like that magazine. Up until now, or quite recently, it was thought we lost that through evolution, which is a bit ironic. It has been claimed that the human olfactory bulb lacked structures involved with detecting pheromones. It still remains that they are odourless molecules, so any influence on behaviour would be on a subconscious level.

R33 Was this the article you were referencing? It seemed to not offer any proof, but there are other SA articles on the topic...

Plenty of cultures find romantic-sexual kissing gross.

This is a more recent article on human pheromones.

R33 Here's yet another more recent article. I'm willing to keep an open mind, as we are part of the animal kingdom, yet the science still doesn't appear to be there. I'm honestly not cherry picking articles which support the idea they do not exist, just the most recent articles which are available for free.

because it can lead to boners

Much of biology around sex is just speculation. I have read for instance that human females are the only females in the animal kingdom to experience orgasm. That may be one of the reasons that you don't see female animals in heat racing out to fuck - it's the males around her that do that. The speculation is that as human babies took more and more time to reach adulthood, (ability to live without parents), two-parent households became more necessary for the survival of offspring. Since females of other species will drive off or even kill males who try to fuck them when they are not in heat, meaning the raising of offspring would be a female-only job for most animals, a human female capable of orgasm would be willing to have sex with her mate even when she wasn't in the fertile part of her cycle, thus keeping him happy and sticking around to help raise the kids.

Personally, it's because I love the friction of another man's beard on my face.

R35, how did you get the Scientific American article to post? I kept getting "low captcha score" as long as I placed it in the web link space. I couldn't make the post until I took it out.

WW for OP. Fascinating topic that I've thought about but never discussed. My husband and I kissed a few times when first met and then never again. We never discussed it but thanks to r32, I see he's from a culture where it is "not present". I never considered kissing from a cultural perspective. I thought it was just a personal preference.

I've always found it gross and have used it as a defensive mechanism in social situations. When some jerk has said something homophobic like, "Teh gays are disgusting". I'd say, "I know, it's gross. And that thing they do where they spit into each others mouth for hours at a time. Thanks anyway but I'll have my own dinner. Ugg, revolting. It's so unnatural. What are they thinking? Spit, vomit and herpes! No thank you. Know what I mean?"

Animals lick eachother's faces to show affection.

One chimpanzee will place its “muzzle” in another chimpanzee’s mouth as a gesture of trust and a sign that it means no harm.

[Quote]I have read for instance that human females are the only females in the animal kingdom to experience orgasm.

I don't believe this for a moment. How special do humans believe themselves to be?

R44 the difference between animals in terms of affectionate gestures is fascinating to me.

For example, my puppy is always trying to lick my bare skin and sit on me (he's a big lab, so it's not comfy) and butt heads with me, to show that we are packmates and he loves me. While I do of course accept these gestures for what they are, they aren't physically pleasurable for me at all. Similarly, I'm sure he's very confused and not comfortable when I hug him or squish his face with my hands or ruffle his ears, wondering why on Earth his human and all the other hairless apes find it necessary to squeeze and manhandle to demonstrate affection.

[Quote] I don't believe this for a moment. How special do humans believe themselves to be?

I thought dolphins do too.

Doesn't it have something to do with feeding somebody. Lips also have more nerve endings than normal skin.

[quote]I have read for instance that human females are the only females in the animal kingdom to experience orgasm.

All female mammals have a clitoris.

If you know, you know.

If you don't, go sit next to OP at the no kissing table.

Bonobos are sex-crazed! They pleasure themselves, each other, inanimate objects...

R42 I have received the Captcha shite too at times, another random occurence in our existence! Absolutely no rhyme or reason for me when it pops up. Older threads stall for me as well, with "cannot save" after scrolling down a few posts... this is when I'm simply reading, not attempting to post.

I get low captcha score for days on my computer now. Really annoying!

Bonobos are crazy. I just searched for them and found a video of them all fucking one another every which way animal style like a gang bang back in the 80’s. Not a care in the world. Great to be a Bonobo.

I love kissing ... so great when you are with someone who does it well

It would be a bit surprising that after millions of years of evolution only humans discover how to get an orgasm.

Maybe ask scientists?

R49 This is a big part of it!!! Our somatosensory cortex has a LOT of space/brain matter devoted to sensing on our lips (and tongues) so it feels good to touch them together. We also have a lot of motor cortex for them so that we can kiss and speak (fine motor movements). Lips are an erogenous zone because they are so sensitive. If our lips were as insensitive as our backs (brain matter space-wise), we wouldn’t get as much out of it.

That said, another important piece is the bonding element of pressing parts of bodies together and the intimacy of faces in particular is very vulnerable, so bonding.

R59 fantastic comment, one that makes a lot of sense.

Also I wonder if it could be tied to our ability to speak and our reliance on verbal language to communicate. We use speech more than any other creature besides birds, if you think about it, so of course the mouth is a very important place on the body for us. I’m sure the implicit meaning of that is tied into the sensory pleasure to add to the important of kissing.

So was the clitoris just for masturbation? Aparently, because sex among animals is so quick and violent, female mammals hardly ever experience an orgasm.

Anybody who has a leg-humping female dog is an expert in the field

I think people have kissed for centuries. but since everyone probably stunk, for the most part, they were all acclimated to the smell, so it was just another day.

Mouth on vagine? Why?

Kissing can be a completely erotic and sexy experience.

Mouths are an orifice and are naturally wet & sexual. You can penetrate someone with your tongue (in their mouth), and vice-versa. I.e., it's a form of penetration. You're also close to the ears and neck when you kiss, two sensitive areas.

Sadly, not many good kissers out there. I tried to teach an ex-BF how to kiss. He never really got good at it.

R62 has limited knowledge about a female dog's anatomy.

Macking on the sweet end of 30 feet of intestine!

Dogs love to French kiss their owners.

I don’t know. Kissing never did anything for me. I’m not usually an intimate person I guess.

What!? You don’t like making out with heavy petting!?

The kiss is way to tell the man "Hello, nice to meet you. My mouth is free of sperms. It is hungry for your sperms."

Bet I’m the oldest person on this board who has never been kissed. Never had a romantic or sexual smooch in 28 years, not even on New Year or Valentine’s or drunk at a party. I am a kiss virgin.

And you're only 28 years old? GET YOUR ASS IN A GYM YOU LAZY FUCK!

At 28, You still have the natural testosterone and metabolism to be jacked in a year, and then you'll have a dick in your ass on New Years!

WOW!!! OP!!! how could you NOT!!! know this is how HUMANS!!! fed their babies after they’d be weaned!!! Surely you’d KNOW!!! this after you got your NURSING!!! certificate or didn’t they COVER!!! this when you got your MASTERS/MASTER’S!!!!

I like a soft peck on the lips but full open mouth tongue grosses me out.

Kissing is just one more way I'm looking to get inside someone. Ever have your partner slide their tongue gently over the front of your gums and teeth. It feels so nice.

R73 lmao thanks for the encouragement.

Given that I’m a woman who likes women, I’m not gonna be getting swole then trolling gyms to get assfucked for Xmas, but that just means less competition for you😉

You’re right that I should make the most of what’s left of my youthful body and time, though. Social anxiety and coupled with disassociation from the physical is a bitch.

My dream is to date a cute, sweet, upbeat but laidback girl who supports my creative work but also has artistic interests of her own, and who I can charm and spoil a little so she feels like a princess. Lame and cheesy, I know. As a shy awkward tomboy femme it’s harder to find this than you’d think - if I felt comfortable or natural as a swaggering butch I’d get more attention from the high-femmes, I’m sure.

It also worries me a lot that, as someone who’s never had a relationship or intimate contact, I’d end up too clingy and possessive and jealous over my first. It’s impossible to know how you’ll ride when you haven’t before. But everyone expects a level of experience, self-control, confidence and awareness as well as smoothness from someone who’s almost 30. I feel like I’d be more at ease dating a girl who is in her early 20s/College and has no experience, but then that wouldn’t be fair to her.

Late-in-life virginity is really fraught😰sometimes I kinda wish I’d lost it with a female friend in a narcotic blur when we were still students, but hey, hindsight. Five years ago I wasn’t even out to myself, and I’m not fully out to family now (won’t ever be, they are redneck lunatics). I can handle being a 30-year old virgin, but it’s going to start to feel really lonely and tragic if I get to my mid-30s and nothing changes.

Argh, ok, shut up, self. If any lesbians are in the thread, please share your first kiss stories to inspire me!

^ start your own thread. You may draw in DL ladies there.

R2, big sloppy moose smooches!

Every once in a while we like to feed each other and kiss while doing so. I like doing this more than the husbear, but he cooperates. So sexy.

I like to chew my husbands food for him and spit it in his mouth. So sexy

^ jealous bitch

R77 I hope you meet your princess this coming year. You sound sweet, and you need to stay positive, and work on the outgoing part.

I read about this once. The first reference to it was 3500 years ago, in India, per Wikipedia. It might be instinctive.