Paramount Network Announces LGBTQ+ Holiday Film Starring Juan Pablo Di Pace & Peter Porte!

I gather the original title, "I'll Be Fucking the Help This Christmas," didn't sit so well with focus groups.

"Jingle these balls, bitch!"

Nice casting. Juan is cute, and Peter is gorgeous.

I cringe when corporations announce "LGBTQ+" because they're too scared to say "two cocksucking men".

Is Peter Porte gay in real life? He's wearing a green carnation--the symbol of Oscar Wilde--in the photo at r3.

Wow, AM looks great.

Suddenly this year, we're going to have a whole slate of gay-themed holiday movies!

r5 Yes, he is. That's his husband below, Jacob Villere.

Here's Peter with another gay actor, Constantine Rousouli, who was quite popular on DL a few months ago because of some gifs of his butt.

So it's a GAY holiday film, not LGBTQIA+.

I'm sorry R5, R3, that's a rather faded carnation.

R4 I get scared every time I LGBTQ+ because I don't know what the fuck it means. Like I'm part of the gay & lesbian community.

[quote] …LGBTQ…

I an NOT part of that 'community'! There is no community.

Two openly gay actors playing gay characters in a LGBTQIASS+ themed holiday movie.

It'll be a piece of shit. I can already tell.

They are afraid of using the word [bold]gay[/bold]...in a film about a gay romance! Why make a film when you are just going to disrespect the community you are portraying? Make a straight film instead and call it a night.

[quote] I get scared every time I LGBTQ+ because I don't know what the fuck it means.

Geez, how does someone like you survive Halloween?

[quote] I an NOT part of that 'community'! There is no community.

Duly noted.

Cool dude

Cue the Million Mom boycott of all things Paramount.

Wow, andie looks great

damn, Andie looks really old in the OP's pic

So, with all the bashing, are people not supposed to watch it?

You sound like a bunch of evangelicals outraged over a movie or video you've never seen. WAP is the perfect example. All the conservatives and trolls, who were outraged and had not even seen it, made it more popular than it would have been without all the noise. The same goes for any Jesus movie.

Now go speak in tongues at church or scream at the Starbucks barista who ask you to put on a face mask.

I think I saw the Candace Cameron straight version on Hallmark before

It's all stealth One Million Mom trolls pretending to be part of the demographic shitting on anything gay themed related and using any excuse they can find.

R15 they can't call it gay because then the trans and nombinaries and "queer" people who are actually straight will SCREECH at them about "inclusivity".

R24 This new commercial product isn't 'gay themed related'. The corporation's PR Department has informed us that it's "LGBTQ+" .

I'm with R15. If you're too much of a pussy yo call it a gay love story, go the fuck home and make a fucking Hallmark movie with Debbie Gibson meeting her high school sweetheart when she comes home for the holidays. But don't call a gay love story an LGBT story. There's an awful lot of stories in that acronym and I see nothing there about the L, B, or T.

[quote] It's all stealth One Million Mom trolls pretending to be part of the demographic shitting on anything gay themed related and using any excuse they can find.

I doubt OMM came here to troll about a Paramount Network movie. That sounds more like a red herring, R24. But I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.

[quote] But I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.

And you do? So, you admit you're a troll? Good for you. Good for you. *patting r28 's head*

who would you rather? Juan or Peter?

Paramount Network includes me in the photo in my role as Buttercup, the family horse, but doesn't mention me in the text? I'm going to sue!

SPOILER ALERT: There won't be a dry eye at the end of the second act, as the lovestruck couple has to decide whether or not to have me put down

Why the fuck don't they call it what it is a 'gay film'. None of this LGBTQ+ shit.

[quote] Why… Hollywood cares only about filling their wallet and depleting ours.

At last!!! Gays are starting to get recognition in movies that they deserve. We exist!!!

I love the idea of gay / LGBT themed Hallmark type of movies. I hope this means there'll be also some nice gay themed murder mystery series.

There was one many years ago with Chad Allen (Donald Strachey).

[quote] gay themed murder

I don't like 'gay' and 'murder' in the one sentence.

[quote] I don't like 'gay' and 'murder' in the one sentence.

Don't care.

[quote] Gays are starting to get recognition in movies that they deserve

Except they are not. They explicitly said is not a gay film.

They explicitly did. lGAYbt. Trying to build a case that LGBT doesn't include us gays makes you look like the useless troll you are.

[quote]It'll be a piece of shit. I can already tell.

Doesn’t matter. You better fucking watch it when it premieres regardless. If gays don’t watch it and it gets low ratings, they will assume there isn’t an audience for gay themed movies and won’t make anymore. So you better just fucking watch it.

I don't like using LGBT (let alone LGBTQ) when just gay or lesbian usually suffices; it's bad both semantically and stylistically. But some of you all are taking this to a whole other level. You've made your point. But don't keep flogging a dead horse. Move on. Allow other people to discuss other things. It's always like this, Datalounge always loses its composure (maybe even its sanity) whenever this subject comes up.

Well, thank God it's not yet another one of those NPH movies.

Necrophiliac, Pedophile, Heterosexual for those not big on acronyms, you know.

r31 = Eric Cartman

LGBT conveys strength in numbers. I can see why this scares conservative trolls so much, hence their "divide & conquer" hysterics.

what can I say, it has come a long way! Before Paramount Network, it was called Spike TV, you all remember it? The stupid action movie/fart joke comedy network for hetero bros, and before Spike TV, it was TNN, it's all about the south, NASCAR and country music, now they have gay holiday specials!

[quote] I'm sorry [R5], [R3], that's a rather faded carnation.

Honey, you're comparing it to poster art.

No, dear R46, I'm comparing it to the real film.

It was a sumptuous production filmed in Technicolor®.

Denying that it's a film centered on a gay love story between two men is homophobic. When the producers say it's not a gay film, it's homophobia. It clearly is... the use of the word LGBT is a front for homophobia.

I see the trolls are trying hard to silence gay men from calling the obvious homophobia surrounding this project. This is a gay forum. Don't like how gay men think? Go to Free Republic with you fellow conservative trolls.

Nice to see a movie with 2 gay leads. Especially ones that aren't stereotypes.

This queen gladly took money from Kirk Cameron’s sister. What a snake in the grass.

[quote] This queen…

Which queen?

Juan Pablo.

R51 Who knows.

Yule Log and Mistletoe

So, is this a gay movie or is it about two straight guys involved with Andie MacDowell? Is it about the horse’s love life? Nothing after the B in LGBxxxxxxxxxxxx has any fucking meaning.

As it's porn, of a sort, it's kind of a three way, R55.

Everyone is getting on the LGBTQ movie bandwagon!

r56, is Andie MacDowell or the horse the 3rd wheel? This answer will determine whether I watch it or not. Throuples always end in heartbreak...

Will there be a love scene?

R10 seems pretty easily offended

Maybe we can just leave out gay & LGBTQ and haul out this old promo trope:

"It's a Christmas love story...with a twist!" 😉

[quote]SPOILER ALERT: There won't be a dry eye at the end of the second act, as the lovestruck couple has to decide whether or not to ride bareback

FTFY, R31.

[quote] They are afraid of using the word gay...in a film about a gay romance! Why make a film when you are just going to disrespect the community you are portraying? Make a straight film instead and call it a night.

You'd be happier if they didn't make the film in the first place? It's pretty clear this is a movie about two men falling in love. Why the hell would they have to use the word gay anywhere when we are witnessing it happening with our very eyes?

And disrespecting the community? Get off your high horse. They made a fucking gay romance Christmas movie but failed to follow your rules, oh noes.

To my homophobic boomer dad who had the hots for Andie McDowell during her hot years in the 80's, a big and hearty fuck you! She's a friend of the gays and wouldn't fuck you with a 10 ft pole. Oh, and your other fantasy woman, Kathleen Turner, is a big fat hog, which I know don't like.

This is why I hate the "LGBTQIA+" label. It's just the modern way to skirt around using the term "gay". It reminds me of how people would say "he's a permanent bachelor" and other shit like that back in the day because they were too scared to say gay. All of it feels homophobic.

R64 If your dad had the hots for Kathleen Turner than their might have been a deeper and more personal issue behind his homophobia.

Juan Pablo was in Mamma Mia (with M). He also played Nicolas in (new) Dallas. Remember? Oh, and he's gay.

It's everywhere now. PBS had an article on "gender nonconforming women" in the suffragist movement. I thought "what the hell does that even mean?" Turns out these women were all LESBIANS. They wouldn't even say lesbian. It's insane.

[Quote] is Andie MacDowell or the horse the 3rd wheel?

Andie MacDowell actually plays the horse. They put her in dressage and she does a "pony play" scene in a field, her L'Oreal Paris Excellence Creme-tinged mane blowing in the wind.

R66 - Right? Although I guess there was a film called "Body Heat" where Turner looked smoking hot. I haven't seen it. He did think Meredith Baxter was pretty during the Family Ties hey day so who knows. If you are right, I don't want see that!

Between the angst and the horse, this should've been called "Christmas Triggers"

I recently met a guy who was a huge Trump supporter as well as a Log Cabin Republic.

He said he identifies as a "homosexual." He does not like the term "gay" and therefore does not identify as "gay." His reason for disliking the word "gay"? He said "gay is a word the Democrats came up in the 1970s."

Everything the Democrats came up with in 1970s needs to be mandated into law now.

This gives me Gays for Trump vibes.

No thank you.

The premiere in on tv right now...

So far, it's craptacular craptastic.

LGBT+ can mean gay men, which receives actual blowback; or about dykes, which doesn’t.

Dykes do not experience homophobia and are hugely overrepresented onscreen. Favourably too.

As blasphemous as it sounds, I think I would hate it.

You all should be watching after you all kicked and screamed about how much you wanted gay leads in these movies.

You all should be watching after you all kicked and screamed about how much you wanted gay leads in these movies.

Worth it for seeing Peter Porte in his underwear.

For a bit I thought he was going to be a closet case because of his ex's name, but glad that wasn't the case.

Someone explain to me how the ranch hand and this guy could possibly be the same guy

That picture's not recent R82. It's from at least 2016 and he's 41 now.

why was it necessary to age Andie like they did?

Age her? She's 62 R84

[quote]So it's a GAY holiday film, not LGBTQIA+.

Are you TRYING to get canceled?

The distinction matters. Gay men are underrepresented on TV; dykes are not.

People are already advocating for a trans Christmas movie

OP's photo looks like a remake of The Big Valley. I like it.

[quote]This is why I hate the "LGBTQIA+" label.

Gak! Me too!

To the adoring general public LGBTQIA+ means TRANS and those nutty green-haired, unfuckable NON-BINARY (as if there is such a thing) folx!

TV lesbians are always pretty or funny. Unlike IRL lesbians who are humorless and ugly as sin.

Great, a gay separatist front in a thread about a FUCKING CHRISTMAS MOVIE. Get over it. It's like if they called this a holiday movie and we got all "How Very Dare You!? This is a CHRISTMAS movie and we don't want it to be associated with those OTHER holidays!" *stomps feet*

My Christmas Wish: all these mean transphobes would fucking evaporate.

Lesbians have now taken their hatred of trans women to the level of hatred of non L letters too.

Overall, I liked it.

The other groups in the LGBT community constantly shit on us and treat us like we're the source of all evil but refuse to let us break away and just be gay instead of being called "LGBTQIA+". We're trapped in this limbo where we can't be independent from the community even though the community doesn't want us just as much as we don't want the community.

[quote]That picture's not recent [R82]. It's from at least 2016 and he's 41 now.

Only four years? Who ages THAT badly in four years, especially if you're an actor who makes his living based on your looks.

If one were dating him, would it be cheating if you were fantasizing about doing the version of him in the picture while having sex with him as he is now?

Do all Christmas movies require a lead character who has a high-pressure job in a big city that pays really well? Are there any movies about lower middle class workers returning to their parents' home for Christmas?

It was craptastic. Thank God the Bee Gee's documentary was on HBO again.

[quote]Do all Christmas movies require a lead character who has a high-pressure job in a big city that pays really well? Are there any movies about lower middle class workers returning to their parents' home for Christmas?

No one wants to watch middle class problems, even if they are middle class. It's about fantasy. Also, self-actualization is a higher order problem if you're worried about making ends meet.

I actually would love to see a film about someone from some small town who still lives in a small town or small city and just goes home for the holidays. It doesn’t always have to be some NYC transplant playing NYer.

Just announced, Hallmark will do a trans holiday movie: "Ghosts of Penises Past" will star Caitlin Jenner as a high-profile trans man who insists on having gender reassignment surgery on Christmas Day, making surgeons and nurses miss the holiday with their families. Charla from The Amazing Race costars as Tiny Tawny.

[quote]NYC transplant playing NYer.

No, sometimes the Hallmark/Lifetime movies use people in LA, SF, or Chicago who go back to a hometown in the midwest or Pacific Northwest (some small town in Washington or Oregon).

R102 those are all other major cities lmao

I loved it!

And it absolutely was a GAY movie!

Even Peter Porte said last night, "We made a GAY HOLIDAY MOVIE in the middle of the pandemic." GAY!

The acting was great, especially Peter Porte.

I saw it last night, and it was much better than I was expecting. It's not exactly groundbreaking, and there are plenty of rom-com tropes, but it is sensible and the characters resemble actual human beings

It was about what I was expecting.

The NYC queen was pretty unbearable and my boyfriend and I were hoping he would be killed off in a horse riding accident, maybe kicked in the head by a horse.

Andie MacDowell made it cozy AF, though.

[quote]Andie MacDowell made it cozy AF, though.

Sometimes, it's difficult to remember that she's the same actress from Sex, Lies, and Videotape.

R107 no it isn’t. She’s aged, like everyone else.

Formula for every holiday rom-com - gay straight or otherwise:

First half hour - meet cute with lots of friendly sniping and banter;

Second half hour - wait, this guy/girl/other really is kind of nice. He/She/It is - 1) helping mom, or 2) transforming the town square, or 3) writing an article that will save the town. At the end of this half hour, there is an almost kiss but it is interrupted;

Third half hour: OMG he/she/it is actually 1) trying to steal mom's farm; 2) turning the town square into a mini mall; 3) writing an exposé that will destroy the lives of everyone and then return to the city;

Fourth half hour: Wait, that phone call I overheard? 1) He's actually buying the farm next door to mom so that he can continue to help; 2) opening a quaint Christmas village at the end of main street where we had that awful fire and it needs to be renovated anyway; 3) writing an award-winning story about how lovely the town is, and he returns from the city because he knows it is home. During the last ten minutes, there will finally be an actual kiss.

Wash, rinse, repeat next week.

R109, don't forget another common plot point in hetero Christmas romances. The leading guy is often cynical about Christmas and love after having his heart broken by a former girlfriend, but our plain Jane future frau heroine changes all that with her infectious charm.

For those of you that watched, Porte's character "Wyatt" had an unusual speech pattern. Not sure if it's Porte's natural voice or not, but it took me half the movie to figure out he sounds like Rick Bayless from "Mexico: One Plate at a Time". You agree?

I watched it - other than casting two gay's as the 'couple' it was like watching a Hallmark movie. Perfect wardrobes, location and set decor - only thing awful was the country music and the taffy pull dance party with the locals. The tall one was a snot from the get go going after the bearded one when he initially met him. No wonder the bearded one was defensive and snippy to the tall one. Things never really did heat up but it was nice to see two guys hug and show some affection however limited and staged. The bearded one was really cute and his life outlook and POV was something I could go for. The snot (the tall one) was uppity most of the time driven by being successful and acquiring stuff. As for Andie MacDowell - it appears that the L'Oreal face cream she was hawking back when has yet to kick in. She looked rather parched.

How did it compare to "The Christmas Setup" - the one Lifetime aired the night before starring the two actors who are real-life husbands? (The one guy looks very much like Di Pace .. lol!)

Yeah, there's definitely a formula at work.

I thought Setup was much better R113. They’re both the standard formulaic Hallmark type plot, but Fran was more entertaining and the leads more enjoyable to watch. It also had a gay subplot that dealt with the town’s history, which while a bit contrived, it made it feel like more than just a Hallmark holiday movie with gay leads.

I turned Dashing off about 3/4 of the way through and it felt it had been on for three hours at that point.

Setup was better because the leads were more pleasant.

None of the characters in Dashing were remotely pleasant to watch - except for Porte when he was in his square cut underwear for a brief moment.

R109, which movie has a reporter-writing-an-article plot?

di Pace was a terrible bit of casting. There was zero charisma between the two men. Porte is gorgeous. The script is, as said above, craptastic. No one speaks like the dialogue in this rather awful movie. That said, it was nice to see two men be the leads and love interests of one of these silly movies.

[quote]di Pace was a terrible bit of casting.

I thought Juan Pablo di Pace was the better of the two actors. Seemed much more natural in the role. Peter Porte is a good actor, but came off as stiff in this one.

I'm glad they make gay Christmas romcoms now but there's no denying you have to completely turn off your brain to be able to enjoy this crap. I've yet to finish the film since I just couldn't take it any more but I've yet to see any real chemistry between the leads. It's like watching two bottoms slowly ending up becoming friends. Is it really that hard to make these films just a tad deeper and a bit more complicated to make them more believable? I used to read Harlequin novels as a gayling years and years ago and even they were better written.. or I'm remembering it all wrong.

BTW, I know I shouldn't overthink it since these films have a tried old formula but I think there's something insulting about expecting two gay men who've never met before ending up together because of course. And yes yes, these Christmas films are all the same. I have to rewatch Shelter soon to remind me what a true low budget gay romantic film can be.

And yet I'm happy they make this crap. We've come a long way, baby

Fall 1986 Gap model, Andie MacDowell, did a good job playing mother to the gorgeous Peter Porte!

Anyone want to guess how a Latin kid who was born in Columbia and emigrated to the U.S. with his parents when he was 10 got a name like "Heath." .. Were they broadcasting reruns of "The Big Valley" there in the late 70s?

I have never watched a holiday romcom movie ever, but I watched this one. To to the end! What is wrong with me?! I could not believe how cliche-ed it was. (I realize that's probably the appeal of the genre -- you know how it's going to end before it starts and you know the roadblocks that will appear.) The acting was subpar at best (DiPace was better than Porte, but that's a low bar), and I think the budget was maybe $50. Even the CGI snow looked cheap. (Someone told me these types of movies are filmed in Canada in August. Why not film them in Canada in December or January to air the following season so at least it's snowy and there's breath vapor when the actors are outside?) Oh, look! A person of color or different ethnicity is a tertiary character! How au courant! I spent most of it yelling at the screen. Of course, it ends with the guys kissing and being swoony. That's nice, because I would bet cash money that they're no longer together by St. Patrick's Day.

Honestly, who is the audience for any of these things? Not me, not anymore.

Those two would never have fallen for each other because they had absolutely nothing in common. It seems they ended up together simply because they were the only two gays in the village.

It's (Philadelphia) cheese entertainment! These Hallmark & Lifetime Christmas movies are supposed to be so cheesy where opposites attract because it's Christmas and will last beyond the holiday season FOR SURE. Yay!

Gays can be wholesome, and they can be cheesy, too.

The mother and galpal know that our boys are just right for each other, so of course, they are just right for each other, plus, their horses, Dasher & Snowbell, are in love with each other too! What more do you need!?

Juan Pablo was awful on (new) Dallas.

Peter Porte's character was more of a total dick for more of the movie than the usual holiday romcom formula allows. He did look fantastic, though, in his nighttime underpants. DiPace has a very seductive accent.

The maternal homilies were more cliched and abundant in the MacDowell film than in the Drescher one. The boys in Drescher's movie were more sexless than the one in MacDowell's.

Coincidentally, both Drescher and MacDowell played sexless widows, so gay holiday romcoms are establishing their own formula.

We watched all 3 gay holiday rom-coms.

Agree with those above - Porters character was a total ass-hat. The shot of him getting out of bed (for the sole purpose of their target audience) was the best part of the movie. While the reindeer trunks were cute - a big city executive would likely be in Tom Ford trunks or some other cliche. I blame the costume designer! Lifetimes - the gay couple was a side story - doesn’t really even count - FAKE NEWS! The one with Drescher (not a fan) was actually cute and hard warming. Look how far we have come - we have options of which holiday themes movie to hate on.

r128, sorry to split hairs, but the Christmas House (where the gay couple was a side story) is a Hallmark TV movie, The one with Fran Drescher is the Lifetime one. All three gay related Christmas TV movies came from different TV stations.

[quote] Coincidentally, both Drescher and MacDowell played sexless widows, so gay holiday romcoms are establishing their own formula.

Another similarity between the two films is that the resident galpals, Blake and Madelyn, provide a diversity factor.

Who is Juan Pablo doing or being done by?

He was seen in Ibiza this summer with this Spanish actor, but nothing else, so probably not serious, or maybe nothing at all.

But there was also an earlier photo of them from January in a bar-club in Madrid.

You know those Spanish boys ....

Who goes to bed wearing a tight boxer briefs? Don't think that's comfortable especially to accommodate morning boners. Product placement by a clueless giggling frau?

[quote]Who goes to bed wearing a tight boxer briefs?

I do - I wear almost exactly the same type of square cut boxer briefs.

I don't like having things flopping around while I'm sleeping. I like the snug feeling of having the boys safely held in place.

I want GAY movies, not this Uncle Tom alphabet soup crap!

[quote]I don't like having things flopping around while I'm sleeping. I like the snug feeling of having the boys safely held in place.

Then wear real briefs like a man.

Personally I'd preferred full-frontal nudity with cock and balls dangling around while he walks naked to the bathroom, but I guess for the traditional Christmas spirited audience Christmas-themed underwear was the way to go, apparently.

Link is Michael Fassbender btw (duh!).

Gay men have finally achieved true equality.

This film shows that gay-themed holiday movies can be every bit as cloying and insufferable as straight-themed movies.

Also, mug-cradling is still permitted on gay-themed movies, as long as it's by the supporting cast (hi, Andie!).

That's not equality, that's settling for mediocrity.

You'd think Christmas-themed gay porn would be enough !!

And there are still no gay Hanukkah movies.

R142 Maybe someone can do a treatment of "Ben's Bakery and the Hanukkah Miracle" and turn it into a screenplay.

This movie sucked, but the one on Lifetime with Fran Drescher was actually really good.

The Lifetime movie with Fran Drescher was the best of the bunch. Script was good and the two males actually had good chemistry.

Often actors who are married in real life don't end up having good screen chemistry, but this time the real-life couple did have that screen magic together. That's what made this one my favorite.

They owed her after they lost the rerun rights to [italic]The Nanny[/italic].

[quote] Starring Juan Pablo Di Pace & Peter Porte!

Whoever the hell they are