Let's be "The Last Picture Show" (1971)

I'm nude Randy Quaid. I used to have a hot, lean body and a decent cock.

I'm naked Randy Quaid at the pool party. Years later I'll get naked again on camera but this time I'll be wearing a mask.

I'm Gary Brockette's dong.

I'm Polly Platt, knowing that 1) Cybill Shepherd is boning my husband, Peter Bogdanovich and 2) I essentially co-directed this, arguably Bogdanovich's greatest film, but I will be credited for eternity as "Production Designer."

Everybody involved with this movie knows both of these things to be true. No wonder I will develop a drinking problem.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I'm a young and cute Timothy Bottoms. Between this and THE PAPER CHASE everyone thinks I'm going to have a major, long-lasting career.

I don't.

I'm Cloris Leachman, earning that Best Supporting Oscar.

I’m the broom. The broom!

I'm Eileen Brennan. I'm wonderful as always. But I bet you forgot I was even in this movie.

I'm Peter Bogdanovich and Cybill Shepherd. Aren't we just the most beautiful, perfect, talented Hollywood couple that ever existed? Why do people hate us so much? We're so cute and adorable!

I'm Ellen Burstyn, stealing the two (?) scenes I'm in.

I'm the residents of Archer City Texas (renamed "Anaerene" for the movie, "Thalia" in the novel), on which the characters in the film (and book) are based. We DON'T take kindly to having our dirty laundry aired in the form of a major motion picture.

I'm Jeff Bridges, and I am living proof that some men get way hotter as they age.

I'm goofy and effective here. But I won't really bring the sex until I"m in my 30s.

I'm Ben Johnson, Sam the Lion, and my monologue by the watering hole is one of the most beautiful scenes in movie history, winning me the Supporting Oscar after work in gazillions of westerns.

I'm the film noir lighting in stunning B&W.

I'm TEXASVILLE, the much anticipated and beloved sequel from 1990.

Every bit as good as the original!

I'm the handsome, mysterious oil rigger played by Clu Gulager, who, after growing tired of Ellen Burstyn's middle-aged pussy, fucks her teen slut daughter on a pool table.

I am Jacie's barrettes!

I’m Eileen Brennan, who my father liked best of all the women in the movie, maybe because she looked a little like my mother, Myrt.

We're Sissy Spacek and Morgan Fairchild, both considered for the role of Jacy Farrow (Cybill's part).

For reals. I can imagine Sissy (though she probably would never have played CARRIE later on), but... Morgan Fairchild?

Sissy Spacek as a gorgeous babe that all the guys lust after? I can't see her playing that kind of role. She's a great actress but is definitely not that type. I heard she was first choice to play Sissy in "Urban Cowboy" but it didn't pan out. She would have been wrong for that role, too. I really can't see Sissy Spacek humping a mechanical bull.

I'm the dog you wouldn't treat that way!

I'm Jacy's cat that gets cruelly thrown off her bed

I’m the handkerchief somebody offers you after you sneeze in this town.

Sissy Spacek would have been great as Jacy.

She's an actual actress.

I'm Sonny's stupid eye patch Lacy wishes I didn't have to wear. I'm really creepy

I'm Jimmie Sue (Helena Humann) and I'm an awful thing you gone and done to Billy. Look at the mess you made! A heifer's better than me.

I’m the coffee pot hurled against the fridge. Never you mind..... never you mind.

[quote]Sissy Spacek humping a mechanical bull.

Pics please.

I’m the coach, who Cloris Leachman later said, was supposed to be gay and that the scene that explained that was cut from the movie. Would have added some more depth to her relationship with the teen.

Their relationship is pretty fucking deep as is r30.