I am about to become homeless, dear Datalounge

It’s too bad you never arranged to be put on the deed - in 24 years.

Sorry to hear that OP. You can create a gofundme page

Sorry to hear that OP. You can create a gofundme page

OP, that really sucks and I am very sorry.

that was one of the advantaegs of marriage, was just this very scenario you describe. i have heard of dozens of these exact tales.

Exactly. Too bad OP didn’t watch Vanessa Redgrave in “If These Walls Could Talk II”

Damn, I'm so sorry OP. Will you be able to manage financially ? Can you get a new place ?

You're homeless, but I'm glad you can still afford the membership to DL. Maybe Myriam will let you couch surf if you keep that paid membership up!

This is why gays should not fuck vaginas and/or have children.

You need a lawyer, you efinitely have a claim to the estate as well as squatters rights!

24 years? Did you learn nothing in the AIDS crisis? This happened daily in the 1980s and 1990s.

But this isn't the 1980s and 1990s. It would seem your partner wanted his kids to have the house.

Next time, plan better.

Why didn’t OP and partner marry in 24 years? Did they miss the whole Marriage Equality trial the Supreme Court ruled on years ago?

[quote] It would seem your partner wanted his kids to have the house.

It seems so, yes. Did your partner leave you money instead, OP ?

I lost my house I had with my 1st husband after he died Op,and Im guessing youve sat there for the last year drunk off your ass and ignoring everything. Been there,done that honey. I cant even blame anyobe else ,I simply didnt make the payments. Heres what I suggest you do...find one of those companies who buy estates and sell the whole kit and kaboodle to them . I had to leave so much behind when I was foreclosed on it still makes me ill. Fuck his bratty kids,sell it all . Youll need the money ,trust me.

r14, he can sell what isn't his. The court ruled in favor of the kids.

I have had to start over in life twice. Once because I was a fuck up in my 20s and the second because of cancer in my early 40s. I am mid 50s now and work full time and have a roof over my head. I am fortunate but also knew to ask for help when needed but to accept as little as possible. I am in a position to help others now and I do. Nothing stays the same and you will have a much different life in a few years from now and I wish you well.

[quote] You're homeless, but I'm glad you can still afford the membership to DL.

Yes, the $2/month this guy paid in advance before this tragedy befell him would certainly keep him out of poverty today. If only he could travel back in time and snatch that $20 away from Muriel.

[quote] Maybe Myriam will let you couch surf if you keep that paid membership up!

It's Muriel, TWAT!

Muriel, Myriam, whatever. If she's too lazy to fix the search function I'm not going to be that pressed about getting her name correct.

Depending on which state you live in, you should be able to assert some "common law" rights. I think. Anyone?

So many questions! Trying to understand how you've ended up here.

OP, did you get along with the kids when your partner was alive? Is this a big shock that they've turned against you, or were they always snotty to you? If they were not accepting of you or the relationship, and you both knew it, you had 24 years to put some provisions in place. What happened there?

How old was your partner when he died? Was it sudden, or did you both know for awhile what was coming? I sense, like many other posters, that you could have been so much more "on it" and forward-thinking in terms of setting up your life and your relationship for security. For whatever reasons, though, you were not organized or self-loving enough to put provisions in place to lock down your security in the event of something like this. Too trusting, too weak, too self-loathing....something.

It's almost cliche that this is happening to you just in time for the holidays. I hope you have some nice friends or relatives.

I feel for you, OP. Twice I had to leave a home against my will and I don't wish it on anyone. Can you see a lawyer, ask if something can be done?

[quote]R21 You had 24 years to put some provisions in place. What happened there?

I bet it was the demon rum.

Do you have an attorney? Get one, better late than never. 24 years should count for something.

Common Law marriage. Get an attorney. Was there a Will?

You are asking DL for help but never thought to get an attorney sooner? ok.

So why did you never get married?

So, OP, are you now homeless? How does that work? You don't any friends on whose couches you can crash? Did you burn all bridges with relatives?

Common law is recognized in PA.

You can sell his watches, bracelets, valuables. How the fuck would his kids know how many watches he owned etc. There isn't a detailed account of paintings, furniture etc. Unless it's been passed down for generations etc.

My GOD there are some really nasty old bitter queens on this thread.

Good luck OP. Maybe legal services in your area can help you if you can’t afford a lawyer. Sending you a hug.

OP, are you DJT?

While a long term relationship is always a factor, the length of the relationship is not the only consideration in a determination that a common law spousal relationship exists, In states where a common law relationship is still legal, it is still recognized other factors must also be demonstrated. For example, the parties generally have to demonstrate that they held property together, held themselves out as married, filed joint taxes etc. Those of you insisting that they were common law spouses need to recognize that they couldn't legally be spouses before 2015. Stop giving legal advice when you don't know anything about law.

Nasty and bitter , R30 ? How about old and wise ? Most of us have known men who were completely fucked over by families of their lovers . Id sell everything that wasnt legally entailed and build me a nice little nest egg. Theyd walk into a completely empty house . Of course Im basing that on the assumption OP is being done dirty . He could just be a flaked out alcoholic nuisance who the lover hated but just couldnt get rid of. Then Id have a differing opinion . But having known men who were fucked over in the past ,Im guessing OP is being truthful. Hes just very stupid.

Obviously, OP's partner didn't make a will that left the home to him.

You slapped those ungrateful children, didn't you, OP??

R8 Who the fuck are you talking about? Who is Myriam?

OP isn't giving anyone much to go on. I'm guessing there was no will.

R37, I'm guessing there was no partner either. If in fact this is true, there is much more to the story.

I don't understand why you aren't on the deed.

R39 If this story is true at all, the partner owned the property and never added OP to the deed. Clearly they didn't purchase the property jointly.

OP should have held out for that ring. But no, she cast her blowjobs before swine.

This thread is fake. Debunked. Ovah!

OP, if you didn't get along with the kids, you should have made sure you made provisions. As someone who has a gold digging whore of a step mother, we will go after her with a vengeance when the time comes, whether willed to her or not.

Maybe your father likes gold digging whores, r43? It’s really none of your business.

I'm sorry Op. I hope you find peace and a safe harbor.

OP = poor gay = ewww

Good for you r16.

OP must be a self-loathing, anti-gay-marriage Log Cabin cunt.

OP is Fadi Fawaz

r8 is one of the newbie trolls who is trying too hard to fit in.

OP has abandoned his (or her?) thread and, even if real, there probably isn't anything to be done for them anyway.

OP didn't come back, fucking troll

Ha - I was thinking the same thing R49. Too much DL.

OP here!!! Thanks for the messages. Yes, I can afford a small condo. It just dawned on me that I will have to start a new life somewhere else. But hey, life is all about changes. We should find positivity even in the worst of times. It will be tough to say goodbye to this place though. So many memories but at least I have pictures and videos.

My partner didn't leave a will and he died suddenly - heart failure, he felt sick, I called him an ambulance and he was hospitalised and under observation, died two days later unexpectedly. He was the one who purchased the property before we met.

His children - we were always nice to each other and pleasant enough. They have never been harsh to me or vice versa. This was a shock. They refused to communicate with me now and his daughters said I was a stanger to them now right after the funeral. That was hurtful and out of the blue. I guess they were manipulated by their mother. That's the only logical explanation.

R54 I'm sorry for your loss. Sudden loss is such a shock. And then to be bullied on top of it...I wouldn't wish it on anyone. BUT! Whether you believe in the wisdom of the Buddha, or a universal intelligence or neither of those things, I still hope that this change of course presents an opportunity for you to start over and have a new chapter of life. And that it is inspiring, fresh and interesting for you. You have an opportunity to bring in new energy, new goals, and new growth into your life. The only constant in life is change. People who accept this live longer and fare better than those who can't flex. Sounds like you can make this transition happen with grace and a little humor. Good luck. I know you lost your love. Be well.

So they're homophobes then.

OP still hasn’t answered to the Gay Court as to why his partner didn’t want to marry him.

Why did OP stick around for [italic]twenty-four years [/italic] when his partner wasn’t serious about things?

24 years and you never got married or a place in the will? You were either not focused or not paying for that home. If you were living there rent free for 24 years then you should have a sizable nest egg.

Burn the place down on your last night.

R28, I'd rather be homeless than "crash on someones couch" honestly.

I don't feel sorry for you OP.

You had at least 5 years to wed for the purpose of making funeral arrangements, hospital visitation, life & death matters & controlling relationship assets.

You obviously had better things to do in that period of time.

I've been with my partner for over 8 years. While we don't live together (officially), I'm at his place or his mine all the time. This thread really woke me up. I'm 41 and he's 52. We're both in good health but anything can happen.

We've never even brought up a will. Guess that will happen tomorrow over breakfast.

Thanks OP!

Well OP as another poster wrote your partner wanted it this way. Was he as shitty to you in life as he was in death?

OP was an aging pool boy with delusions of grandpa.

Absolutely, R62. Presumably each of you would want at least some significant part of your assets to go to the other. If either of you want to direct assets to other beneficiaries, what better time to explain that, but for fuck's sake don't just assume that things will be be divided as you would have liked. Unless you state it emphatically, they emphatically won't be.

From outward appearances your relationship with your partner is readily divisible: his and your properties, his and your assets. Your financial links are not much deeper than the contract that exists when buying an order of take-away food. The very fact that you don't live together as one household but as two separately owned ones, that there's no legal connection between the two of you...any mention of shared assets is going to elicit surprise, and all the more legally.

Make a decision, both of you, and have a lawyer do a will for each. Do it once and it's easily changed. I have older friends who seem to spend some significant part of every week revising their wills and adding codicils, but better to have overthought it than to have given it no thought at all.

And fuck the niece and nephew you barely know and their mother, your sister with whom maybe a couple times a year and without much delight. Leave your assets as you want to do.

I'm married so there are standard assumptions as to shared assets and inheritance, but still a will makes everything emphatic and easy.

[quote] You're homeless, but I'm glad you can still afford the membership to DL.

Why does this myth that you have to be a paying member to start threads continue to exist. You don't. You can start threads and post without paying, just not when there is prime time.

OP, I would contact a lawyer to see if you could sue for Palimony, the lawyer would take a cut if you win, but you would still end up with more than nothing. Just threatening might make the children offer a settlement, you won't get the house most likely but I would look into it.

his kids deserve the house more than you

Too bad they’re not nice enough to stay and pay them rent. Do they want to sell the house?

🤷 Muriel?

Oops ........ I thought it was Mildred.

Op, sound like George Michael's lover.

R70, who? Andrew Ridgely? Tragic.