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Anal Sex Horror Stories

Post them!

by Anonymousreply 59Last Saturday at 4:25 PM

a haiku

Douche was too early the trick was delayed in traffic my stools were dripping

by Anonymousreply 111/05/2020

Lets just say that it started with an evening of chicken curry masala, and it ended with a flood of the Ganges.

by Anonymousreply 211/05/2020

Lets just say, the sheets were so brown that day...

by Anonymousreply 311/05/2020

Stealth SCAT thread!!

EDITOR!!!!

by Anonymousreply 411/05/2020

What's a little shit between friends?!

by Anonymousreply 511/05/2020

Grogans!!!

by Anonymousreply 611/05/2020

Lets just say, it was a very shitty experience...

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by Anonymousreply 711/05/2020

With chips, R2!

by Anonymousreply 811/05/2020

He thought it would be just a fart. It wasn't. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

by Anonymousreply 911/05/2020

Some whiny transphobic cisf@g refused to have sex with me when he found out I have a vagina. And the little sissy queen took it personally when I pulled a pocket knife on him for pussyblocking my pussy. A real man would have not only fucked me hard in my pussy but finished the job inside it.

by Anonymousreply 1011/05/2020

damn it, why does Data Lounge wrap the text like that? Here is how it was supposed to look

Douche was too early

the trick was delayed in traffic

my stools were dripping

by Anonymousreply 1111/05/2020

Can we change the subject? PLEASE?????

by Anonymousreply 1211/05/2020

The worst anal sex I ever had was with a college student who didn’t douche. Needless to say, it was our only time together. It was not even the only time I had sex that night. I fucked another guy who actually did bother to douche.

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by Anonymousreply 1311/05/2020

You're a brave one, R13.

After a shitty first experience like that, it would take me a while to go in for another dip in the Hershey highway.

by Anonymousreply 1411/05/2020

I'm a bottom, and yes - I douche every time, bc I have IBS. When I was a babygay - and still learning how to douche - I scared many potential husbands away due to "happy accidents." Unfortunately, it only seemed to be the guys I was really excited about, never just the average, one-off guys I could have cared less for. Still shudder every now and then when I think back on those times...

by Anonymousreply 1511/05/2020

diarrhea squirted all the way up 2 the ceiling

by Anonymousreply 1611/05/2020

Dare I ask for details, R15?

Shall I be even more brave and ask for details, R16?

Okay.... DETAILS please!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1711/05/2020

R16, WHAT!?

by Anonymousreply 1811/05/2020

I met a guy on Craigslist. Nice guy, probably mid-40s. He did NOT tell me until it was too late that he was heavily involved in being on the passive end of fisting. He had virtually zero control of his anal sphincter. About three minutes into fucking him, he had a bout of explosive diarrhea. You really don't want to know the rest.

by Anonymousreply 1911/05/2020

Rofl R19!!!!

Did you recoil in horror???

Did you let out a shriek of terror???

I probably would have fainted.

It sounds absolutely GHASTLY!!

by Anonymousreply 2011/05/2020

I did anal once. It went well, but afterwards the guy let out a loud fart that would up spraying shit across the room.

It was like someone put Yoo hoo in a sprinkler and turned it on full blast.

He also had eaten corn sometime before.

by Anonymousreply 2111/05/2020

Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?

by Anonymousreply 2211/05/2020

You made that shit up, R21!!!!

LIAR!

by Anonymousreply 2311/05/2020

My first time, a really cute guy who was hairy from the neck down. After the bars closed, so it was late and we were drunk. I fucked him, went to pee and washed off my dick, then back to bed. I awakened to him screaming. My load and his bowel contents escaped in the night. He showered quickly, and I never saw him again.

My second time, I flirted with a guy in the library. It was middle of a winter afternoon and my roommate was away, so we went to my room. He fucked me, got up after, went to the bathroom, then came back to my room and thanked me. Then he left. A few weeks later, I was in Fort Lauderdale on Spring Break with a bunch of friends and turned a corner on a sidewalk and came face-to-face with him. He nodded at one another knowingly and went on with our lives.

Fast forward several years. I was at a bar and a guy whom I used to see all the time came up to me and said that he always dreamed of me fucking him. He was cute enough, and he followed me home. Neither of us was really drunk. This guy said that he was a total bottom. As I stuck it in him, I knew he was a totally *shitty* bottom. It squished, made suction noised, and smelled like sewage. I stopped after a minute and went to shower. Incredibly, he was still lying in bed, liquified waste between his thighs, and motioned me over. Not today, Satan!

by Anonymousreply 2411/05/2020

Rofl R24!!!

We have a winner!!

by Anonymousreply 2511/05/2020

This is why most gay porn stories are unrealistic. Every bottom's ass is automatically zestfully clean without any effort.

by Anonymousreply 2611/05/2020

Kind of like how the condom "magically" appears when they start fucking.

by Anonymousreply 2711/05/2020

My first time fucking, I was 18 and got this cute chubby Sri Lankan guy over off craigslist. We rolled around in bed for hours before I fucked him, kissing and sucking. My cock slid inside him perfectly using just my spit as lube and I fucked him really gently, not lasting very long. Afterwards he wanted to fuck me but having just cum I’d lost enthusiasm. I let him try anyway though, but we had no lube and he hadn’t even used any spit so I was thinking “there’s no way this idiot’s going to be able to work his dry cock into my ass” and figured he’d give up and I’d be off the hook. But he actually managed to push so hard that it went in. Completely dry. He came really quickly but afterwards I developed my first ever hemorrhoid and now 10 years later my asshole has never been the same. The hemorrhoid grew and became more painful over the course of a few weeks until it finally kind of “popped” and I thought the nightmare was over, but no. I’ve only been fucked a few times since then and it’s always been extremely painful. What’s going on with my asshole? Do I have a tiny dormant hemorrhoid just inside it? How the hell do I fix it? It’s really held me back from being able to experience gay sex fully and slut around while I’m in my prime. I loved fingering myself as a teen but I haven’t even been able to enjoy rimjobs for the last ten years. Am I just going to have to get operated on to fix this or what?

by Anonymousreply 2811/05/2020

R28? You're NASTY.

I can't b[bold]E[/bold]lieve that [bold]S[/bold]tory you just [bold]T[/bold]old us.

by Anonymousreply 2911/05/2020

Don't be disgusting r7

by Anonymousreply 3011/05/2020

He was new to bottoming. Douched 10 mins before I got there. He sat on my dick and stinky brown water gushed out of his ass and all over me. He ran to bathroom to shit while I just laid there. Then I heard the shower turn on. Seriously. He couldn’t throw me a towel first? Needless to say I never went back.

by Anonymousreply 3111/05/2020

OP, check out "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," either the original novella by Max Tucker or the film version. New York Times bestseller! The original has more explicit scat stories (Grogans!!!) but the film stars Matt Czuchry, the cute Cary from The Good Wife, with still a lot of shit.

by Anonymousreply 3211/05/2020

Make sure you have your Hep B shots guys.

by Anonymousreply 3311/05/2020

When I was in college, I bottomed maybe three times. It was always so painful for me that I just couldn't stand it. The one time I did it where it wasn't so bad, I was completely high on coke and drunk off my ass. I do remember that the guy I'd brought back to my dorm room was fucking me and I farted twice. It was more like just pockets of air escaping because of the way he was fucking me. I was totally clean and there were no incidents, but I was mortified beyond belief. I still remember his full name, though I never saw him or spoke to him again.

A few years back I was in NYC and I met a guy off Scruff. We had coffee, then went back to his place and wound up in bed. We had made out and gotten naked and into his bed. At some point, he put my hand in between his ass cheeks, indicating he wanted me to finger him, which I did. I could tell right away it was a mistake, but I didn't make a big deal about it, didn't say anything. I think he jerked off and came pretty quickly, and I took my fingers out. The lights were off so we couldn't see anything that well, but I got up to go to the bathroom and he asked me what was wrong. I very calmly told him that I needed to wash my hand. He flipped on the light, saw my fingers, totally freaked out, pulled me into the bathroom, turned on the shower and proceeded to give us both Silkwood showers. He stripped the bed after we got out (even though there was nothing there and it was gross, but nothing to go apeshit over- no pun intended). And he had an attitude like it was my fault.

by Anonymousreply 3411/05/2020

R21 - Holy mother of God, that was fucking funny. 😂

by Anonymousreply 3511/05/2020

Oh yeah, when I was younger and still wet behind the ears I definitely left some chocolate coated biscottis in my wake.

by Anonymousreply 3611/05/2020

The worst is when you're bottoming yourself and the dick goes in too deep too quick and you get that intense stabbing ring pain.

When topping, I think it is mainly poop-related accidents as most of the posts here demonstrate - but there's also the danger of bending your dick or pulling out too far and slamming it where it shouldn't go which can be very painful too - I've never done it myself but you can actually rupture the erectile tissue if you're really unlucky.

by Anonymousreply 3711/06/2020

MOAR! MOAR!

by Anonymousreply 3811/06/2020

These are not anal sex horror stories. A small amount of poo entering the arena during anal sex is a normal everyday occurrence and nothing that two grown men shouldn’t be able to handle like adults. My (shitty) ex never douched before sex and every other time I fucked him I’d be able to feel poo nuggets inside him and I politely ignored it because I’m a sweetheart. Anyway, I’m R28 and still want advice for my hemorrhoid thingy

by Anonymousreply 3911/06/2020

is there a thread on the best way to douche - how long before, etc? I've had a few minor things a tiny speck on a condom - but nothing like the horrors above! I think I would retire from Anal if I shit all over someone!

A good friend of mine - a girl - she was fucking her boyfriend,, anal style. She suddenly felt some rumbling, grabbed her thong and ran into the hotel bathroom. why she put her thong on I have NO IDEA. Anyhow, they were living there long-term for a work assignment. She tried to get to the toilet but her guts exploded, sending liquid and shit out both sides of her thong. the bathroom was "destroyed beyond repair" according to her. she cried and cried and wouldn't let him in and demanded he get them a new room and slide the new room key under the door along with a $100 bill for the housekeeping tip.

Good guy, he did all that. She married him.

by Anonymousreply 4011/06/2020

Picked up a hot married guy at the hotel bar on a work trip. He pulls off his pants and is wearing the hottest tighty whiteys - snug in all the right places, with a nice full bush poking out the waste band. My dick was dripping in anticipation. He wants me to eat his ass before I fuck him and I reach over to his beautiful round ass and pull down his briefs only to find the nastiest skidmark streaking down the undies. There was no anal that night.

by Anonymousreply 4111/06/2020

Rofl at R39 and R41!!!

You're brave anal warriors.

I would have run out the door screaming in horror!

by Anonymousreply 4211/06/2020

Please share more shitty stories!

I am so turned on right now!!!!

by Anonymousreply 4311/06/2020

"My Night at the Bellagio."

by Anonymousreply 4411/06/2020

POO SHOES!

by Anonymousreply 4511/06/2020

R40, Google it. We're not your sex advisors, Shitty Cathy.

by Anonymousreply 4611/06/2020

You have a very shitty attitude, R46.

Sounds like you need to douche.

by Anonymousreply 4711/06/2020

Sure, R47. And you with your 20 posts on this thread already kiss your mother with that mouth, Turdstool?

by Anonymousreply 4811/06/2020

his dick got stuck in me and we had to go to the ER and be surgically separated

by Anonymousreply 4911/06/2020

[quote]My (shitty) ex never douched before sex and every other time I fucked him I’d be able to feel poo nuggets inside him and I politely ignored it because I’m a sweetheart.

Mr. Manners, God rest his soul, used to do the same thing.

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by Anonymousreply 5011/06/2020

Anal sex is a horror story.

by Anonymousreply 5111/06/2020

I’m the well endowed but friendly guy who is understanding when bottom freaks out after unexpected results.

by Anonymousreply 5211/06/2020

Let's just say this happened to me once.

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by Anonymousreply 5311/07/2020

Y’all ‘er jes’ provin’ the Bahbl’ wuz raht.

by Anonymousreply 5411/07/2020

r20 — R19 here to answer your questions.

What disturbed me the most about the situation was that the guy who'd just shat literally all over me was neither apologetic nor contrite. I think I yelled something like "WHAT THE FUCK—", and leapt up immediately, with effluvia dripping down my entire front side.

"I've had a lot of fisting," he explained. "Sometimes I don't always have control."

I'd have said, "No shit, Sherlock," but realized that this was one phrase that wouldn't apply.

I got into the shower and stayed there a long time. I then went back to the bedroom, glared at Shitty McShitsnack, put own my clothes on and left without saying a word. Fortunately, this shitshow occurred at his house, so I wasn't responsible for any cleanup.

To this day I always enquire as to a prospective partner's fisting history before fucking him. And surprise anal, of course, is totally out of the question.

by Anonymousreply 5511/07/2020

Hawt

by Anonymousreply 56Last Saturday at 2:54 PM

During a particularly fruitious period of anal activity ,I had apparently developed a blood filled tear. Unbeknownst to me. I picked up this guy and we go back to my place to get busy,and as hes sticking it in he suddenly yells "WTF ???" and jumps up with a blood covered dick . I swear to god that thing bled like I was having a period. Needless to say the guy showered and stormed out, cursing me the whole time .I was mortified.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Saturday at 4:05 PM

This is why I’ve always liked condoms. Because if you have to make a quick exit off she comes in there is your lovely dick again.

by Anonymousreply 58Last Saturday at 4:08 PM

When I first came out, I became friendly with a macho-looking professional welder. A nice looking guy and OBVIOUSLY a top since he is burly, surly, and a welder. Right? Wrong. He wanted me to lick his butt, which I couldn't do without chocolate syrup. Then he wanted ME to fuck HIM. I'm 5'7, 135 pounds, and definitely a bottom. He was about six foot, 185 pounds. So I did it. And then I pulled out and there was Santorum on my dick. I nearly vomited. Moral of the story - spontaneous butt sex is messy. Be prepared.

by Anonymousreply 59Last Saturday at 4:25 PM
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