Trump's hair is a miracle of physics

In old country we use the polish for the shoes to hide the gray hairs...

Have you ever seen the opening of American Hustle? Trump's routine has to be the same as Christian Bale's....

Trump's diaper is a miracle of physics.

His hair is an abortion of science.

It's not a toupee. A toupee would look far more realistic.

That's Donald's hair just before he starts to levitate and take off to the sky. Who needs AF1 when you have that hair!

Whatever he uses, I thought they stopped making it after Barbara Billingsley died.

He's mostly bald and the pieces he has are shoulder length like Riff Raff. The president has a skullet.

Michael Cohen said he saw him in the shower(?) and his dyed cornsilk hair hangs almost to his shoulders and there is a big bald spot on top. The stylists fluff it up and strategically wrap it around his head.

I guess then they slather-on the face bronzer.

This article has a nice diagram of his complex combover.

Aqua Net in the white can will accomplish miracles.

Apparently, an entire hour of sculpting time, and half a can of heavy-duty hairspray, according to Noel Casler. It's all shoulder-length fringe, and he's bald on top. Casler said he looks like Riff Raff from "Rocky Horror", before he puts the time in to shape it.

Trump is practically a metaphor for the state of the country today. We're papering over the rot with increasingly complex rituals when we'd be better off taking on our faults head-on, just as he would be better off with a shaved head.

Hair as turban.

His hair is a metaphor for him. Unnatural, offensive, brittle while completely and utterly fake.

And repulsive.

I was sure I saw a bobby pin in there once.

How someone that vain hasn't had a hair transplant, is beyond me.

He’s such trash.

It's not a miracle, OP, it's a giant public lie fashioned from hair dye and hair spray. That Trump believes the fraud on the top of his head is the best possible solution to his male pattern baldness, tells you everything about his vanity, judgment, and his personal insight.

He should have just gotten a thin density hairpiece.

A history in pictures:

It’s combed out into long, flat planes, laid out and sprayed down to his scalp so in a hard shell, and then folded back over in a different angle to confuse the eye into seeing more hair than is there. It’s sprayed along the way and contoured to his scalp to cover all bald areas.

People have made visuals showing that he would look relatively normal and certainly much better if he would shave his head, but he supposedly feels he has to cover his scalp because it is marred by scarring from mangled hairplug surgeries.

He also has a lot of magical beliefs and I would not be surprised if he, and maybe his family, think that longer hair is a source of power. His hair resembles his mother’s crazy hair, and his sons have weird outmoded long hair, as well, practically mullets.

Anyway, Trump’s hair is so distinctive it has become a brand unto itself. I work across the street from the Mayflower hotel, and in the days leading up to Trump’s inauguration in 2016, old men and women were teeming in and out of the hotel. The women typically were in their 50s-70s and wore full-length fur coats and a crazy amount of makeup, and I swear at least half the men, ranging from I’d guess their 40s to (mostly) their 60s-80s, had Trump-inspired hair that was dyed a weird piss yellow color and brushed forward into a quasi-pompadour with a duck tail flip in the back. I knew when I saw them that this is a cult and not only a political movement.

I remember reading that he had some operation that raised the sides of his scalp up higher on each side to close the balding top. I think it is done in multiple steps over time to continue shrinking the bald part at the top and raising the sides with hair.

I have no idea if this is true but it seems believable.

Imagine what it must look like when he wakes up each morning.

How many millions has this family paid for surgeries and fake teeth? And only Ivanka’s appearance has been improved. Some people might argue Melania’s has, as well, but she looks too extraterrestrial now for me to consider her attractive.

Here you go OP!

You're welcome.

How we'd LOVE to see this bastard!

Can't figure out what type of baldness pattern this is. Some doctors have claimed this baldness is due to failed hair transplant surgery.

My dermatologist friend thinks Dump has Diffuse Alopecia Areata, basically a form of diffused hair loss throughout the entire scalp, which is usually not the typical type of baldness men suffer from. Typical male pattern baldness usually starts are the hairline and makes it's way to the crown area.

R28 It was thoughtful of the police to apply so much blush before their führer’s photoshoot.

He’s pathetic, and we’re pathetic for having him.

It wasn’t hair plugs it was a scalp reduction surgery that went bad and he now has raised scars like Frankenstein That he covers with his elaborately sprayed loops and swirls.

Yes, it’s certainly worth $70k

He got his mother's hair.

I thought that entertainment/pr/minder said Trump does his own hair by himself r9. Anyone remember? I read the interview transcript and apparently Trump is himself responsible for the rat's nest. Now who does the colouring is another matter.

He looks ridiculous and revolting so it's definitely something he or a close family member does for him. Only a Trump could create a shitshow like that.

As I get older, I continually learn that a lot of old traditions exist for a reason—that reason being that there is truth to them. One of these is physiognomy. Monsters look like monsters. Ivanka’s monster face is eating its way through the surgeries to the surface. Jared’s monster face becomes stronger with every evil act.

[quote]It wasn’t hair plugs it was a scalp reduction surgery that went bad and he now has raised scars like Frankenstein That he covers with his elaborately sprayed loops and swirls.

Isn't scalp reduction done to basically cut the sections of hair loss away, then bring the still valid sections closer. That sort of surgery doesn't work either! He's so vain, he likely wouldn't consider a glue on hairpiece. There are some amazing options out there, celebrities are, men and women are in hairpieces. This imbecile would rather have that bizarre Mr. Softee concoction on his empty head!

It's amazing that his sons still have a lot of hair, especially the dark haired son, I guess that inherited their mom's 'hair genes'.

Dump always wore some type of combover. He's probably been losing hair since his 30s-40s. He's always had shitty hair.

I can't wait till he gets the prison mandatory buzz cut. International hilarity will ensue and probably one earthquake or two.

I tried to post a link but won't let me. There's an old episode of Penn and teller that had a guy do trump type comb over.

YouTube has it. Video is called Penn and teller amazing combover if you're interested in seeing it done.

Melania fucked up big time. She was actually cute before all her surgeries.

Trump is manly man!

Makeup, coiffed hair, a girdle, and lifts in his shoes.

Isn't that what makes a rugged, manly American man? Why don't they have him in a campaign for the new Marlboro Man or James Bond franchise?

Trump not falling on his face is a greater miracle of physics.

Of course he’s trash - he’s from Queens.

Here he is greeting Trudeau who is sanding straight like a normal person.

^^^standing straight.....

Here's R40's Penn and Teller video. This guy has Trump-level combover skills.

[quote]Here's [R40]'s Penn and Teller video. This guy has Trump-level combover skills.

Dump's unfortunate combover is more electorate than this man's. Dump has hair loss in odd places, like the back of his empty head.

There was no info about, when someone using that spray-on scalp cover, gets caught in the rain, the scalp cover will likely drip down your face. I guess that magician wears hats in bad weather?

The magician does this for the stage. His combover is not likely to ever see the outdoors.

Thank you r47 I could not get it to post.

He has an ugly scar left over from scalp-reduction surgery. He never forgave his first wife Ivana for recommending it.

The ugly scar forms a 666.

If he's so vain why doesn't he hit the gym? Reminds me of those trollish guys who wear a gold bracelet to show their wealth.

Typical that there'd be so much fuss made over his hair/mane all the while he has Leo rising.

[quote]If he's so vain why doesn't he hit the gym? Reminds me of those trollish guys who wear a gold bracelet to show their wealth.

There's NOTHING manly or accomplished about this ugly rancid orange bastard. His skin actually has the texture of an orange!

He know he's inferior to most people, that's another reason he hates smart accomplished women. He feels inferior to them, especially smart accomplished Black women.

Sure, he acts like he's the wealthiest, the smartest, the most handsome, the best businessman etc. He's none of those things. He's always been an epic failure in business, native New Yorkers always had his number. In NYS, Staten Islanders and some pockets of Long Guyland worship this fug troll. There are lots of racists and xenophobes in those areas.

His MAGAT fanbase voted for a man who played a successful businessman on TV. Most of his base are clueless and uneducated.

Deep down this imbecile realizes he's none of the things he claims he is. He might be a malignant narcissist, yet he sure knows he's not superior in ANY way to anyone else!

Do soldiers see their chief as a guy with a hair-do like great-grandma had?

I’m not sure what’s worse the horrid orange peel skin texture or his ridiculous hair? Vile.

[quote] Sure, he acts like he's the wealthiest, the smartest, the most handsome, the best businessman etc.

He acts like none of those things. He just claims them.

[quote]He acts like none of those things. He just claims them.

STFU, stop arguing over semantics. Dump acts like AND claims everything I posted. Get that huge stick out of your ass.

R58 is correct. Wealthy, handsome, smart and successful business men act NOTHING like Donald Trump. He acts like a demented pig in a whore house.

The only type of physic in Donnie's rancid life is this!

[quote][R58] is correct. Wealthy, handsome, smart and successful business men act NOTHING like Donald Trump. He acts like a demented pig in a whore house.

I call bullshit on your assessment of businessman, especially the NYC variety. Most of these men are scummy, these types always show the world how they use and discard people. They are proud to be horrible people. They steal from you, then claim those are their ideas.

You actually think "wealthy, handsome, smart and successful business men" are ALL honorable decent people who treat their workers with kindness and respect? If your answer is 'yes', you are completely deluded. Over the years, I've had my share of horrible bosses, mostly men, some were women, who thought they were an asset to the industry I work in. Most of these people were as inept, disingenuous, disgusting, self-serving, ignorant and as vile as The Donald and just as delusional.

You must be very young and haven't been in the workforce very long. Good Luck!