A Larry King Special: The Death of Sean Connery

I love these Larry King threads!!!

Seen Connelly will of course always be remembered for his hit record "Wake You Up Before I Gojo" when he was a member of Ham.

He's also well known for his role as James Bong in "Goldstinger" and "Doctor On."

We'll have Dick Clark on satellite from Pismo Beach after this word from Prostrate Salve - suffer no more......

Folks, we are waiting for a call-in from Sean's ex-wife Madonna. She should be on the phone momentarily.

It's been said that Sean Hannity hit the ladies - I mean, was a hit with the ladies - but his life wasn't all shillelaghs and beer. His girlfriend Petula Clarke called him "a pain in the arse" and his first wife, Diana Cilantro, called their marriage entrapment and found him untouchable. But he eventually found love with cheese heiress Micheline Roquefort. I'll be asking La Widow Roquefort about their love story, and what wine goes with camembert, after this word from First Alert.

Shawn Cassidy was a true Scott man. He loved the name, the drink, the county. Now to Beth in the Bethesda.

Beth? Beth?

We seem to have lost Beth in Bethesday.

Speaking of birthdays, Connelly was born to a mother near and around the Isle of Man. Which makes sense if you think about it.

Beth? Beth?

His father, Carroll O'Connery, had great hopes for his son in show biz and guided the lad through the pitfalls and heights of his eventual stardom disguised as a Scotsman.

Up next: Denise Richardson, who played Dr. Christmas Abbott in [italic]The World Is Quite Enough,[/italic] to tell us how Shaun of the Dead watched her get it on with Brandy Alexander of [italic]The Real Horsewives of Bellflower.[/italic] She'll also talk about her years with Tiger Blood Charlie Exotic. If you ask me, Carole Bayer Baskin-Robbins getting cast over her on [italic]Mrs. Paul's Strictly Dancing Race[/italic] was a transvestite of epic proportions. I mean, just because you make delicious ice cream ...

But first, a word from our good friends at Crudo Hair Oil.

B U M P

Now we're back with our panel to discuss John Gielgud

We'll be right back with Joan Collins after the commercial break....

(Said off camera) Why does Joan Collins appear on every one of these things we do? Are we paying her or what?

Has Tippi Hedren called in yet?

r8=moron

Joining us by satellite is one of Sean Patrick Flannery's loveliest co-stars, Catherine Zeta Masterson. Catherine, is it true you lost your virginity to Sean when you were just 16, or was that Christian Slater? Maybe that's why it was called In The Name of the Rosebud.

Catherine, can you hear me?

Catherine, maybe if you stopped tap dancing.

Folks, we'll be back after we resolve these technical difficulties.

Joining me now is Lou Diamond Phillips. Lou, what did you think of Sean’s portrayal of you in Diamonds Say Never Again? Did he capture your essence?

Connolly was a revolutionary socialist whose execution by firing squad after the Easter Rising significantly contributed to the insurrection against British rule. More on this martyr to the cause, right after this message from Irish Spring Body Wash.

Joining us now is one of Me Connor's great loves, Miss Gloria Puss - wait - WHAT?!! WHO WROTE THIS COPY?

You did, Larry....

Direct on the line from Copenhagen, Swedish Screen Goddess and Bomb Girl, Ursula Andrews. Ursula, you couldn't sing like your sister Julie, but boy oh boy did you look great in that belted bikini. Only Bond Boy Daniel Radcliffe came close. Ursula, did you get a ride on Bond's boner? And was that a boning knife?

Next we have Benny Goodman creator and star of The Connors, a hysterical look at the life and time of the most famous Bonn in all of Germany. Benny, what was your relationship with the man, the myth and what does co-star Roseanne Cash have to say about her now dead father?

On the line, Beverly Hills, live, ageless screen beauty Jill Sean John. Jill, you gave us P. Diddy and fantastic titties. Nobody knew you were black. Were you close with friend of the show, the late, great Carol Channing?

Reading this in line at the Whole Foods and shaking with silent laughter.

"Wait. Who are we talking about, again?"

Baron Sacha Cohen, hello from London. Your excellency, the world was shocked when a German aristocrat like you pulled off such outrageous costumes. But didn't Sean do it first, and better? Who would you say is hairier, the Scottish or Ashkenazi Jews? Your brother Andy joins live now to comment as well. Andy?

And we're back.

I think the best Sean movie was that one where she was dressed up like some cat thing and meowed all over. Crazy kid. Crazy. Easy to see why she died. I saw the photos today and it must have been cancer, because she was balder than... Balder than a bald person.

Who've we got on, Bob? Do we have anyone? No?

Okay. Back to Garlique. Now in a handy spray bottle. I haven't burped in 40 years. Can't say the same elsewhere. Back soon.

And we'll be right back with Henry Winkler, Stephen Baldwin, Barbi Benton and Jermaine Jackson.

And we're back.

Lots of good memories. The way he said "Pussy" to the Honorable Blackmun, who actually was a white womun. Got my going every time. Let's play with that Pussy tape some more, Bob.

"Pussy Galore"

"Pussy Galore"

"Pussy Galore"

Yeah, that's it. If I were 85 again and plugged into the pump, I could show you something.

When we come back we'll talk to Ann-Margret. Yeah! She'll be telling us why she never met Sean Connery.

(mike left on) C'mere, Bob. Look. This look a chubbier to you? Yeah, I think so. Well, may as well piss. Get the jug. How long've we got?)

We're back with Henry Superman Cavill and friend of the show, the inimitable Liza with a Z. Henry, you look great in shiny spandex, and you could suck the enamel of a submarine periscope, but you'll never be Bond. Liza, you played a prostitute and a contessa, but you were never a Bomb Girl. How does it feel to see Sean go?

And we're back.

Folks, I don't know if you realize how much the great Sir Connery was into science fiction. He did a lot. One of the best was "Meteor," from about Nineteen Something. Let's get with his fellow cast member to hear how the great man was in a different kind of movie.

We have Natalie Wood, his love interest. A lot of people's love interest. Rowrrrr.

What, Bob? Oh, right. Glub club.

Okay. Karl Malden. Oscar winner, too.

What, Bob? NO! Him? I just saw him at Toots Shor's.

Well, let's talk with Brian Keith.

No?

Okay. Here's costar Martin Landau! Another Oscar person!

Huh? Well, crap.

Let's get Trevor Howard!

Fuck. Bleep that.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have Richard Dysart. You know his face.

He's dead, too?

The great Hank Fonda is on, with nothing to do but talk to us!

Crap. Has anyone told Jane. She back from Hanoi yet? Gonna be a shock!

Joseph Campanella! Played the President in this great Meteor movie?

Okay. Well, he looked like death, so I shouldn't be surprised. Who's next on the list? Bo Brundin? Who the hell's he? But he's alive? Get him, get him, while you can, Bob. Oh. Nursing home. Well, who's next? Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Jesus, just like "The Conqueror"!

Bob, any of the Duke's grandsons still alive? We've got to investigate this!

But first a word from Longine Symphonette and their fresh new hipper hopper cross-over hit 33 LP, "Kanye Does Cole Porter!"

Bob, notice it's not the other way around. He's not Coal Porter, after all. Right? Right? Two for me!

We are on the line now with Paul McCartney. Sir Paul, did you mind writing the theme song for [italic]Livin’ la Vida Loca[/italic] even though Sean was replaced as James Brown by Mary Tyler Moore?

Murray, I want a raise.

And now let's enjoy Sinead O'Connery singing a tribute to her father, "Nothing Compares 2 Irn-Bru."

We'll be right back with Debbie Boone, Jimmie Walker, The Amazing Kreskin and Mike Lindell.

That was an iconic scene from one of the most famous James 700 movies, Love For Mother Russia. May the Bond never be broken hahahahaha.....and now, the One, the Only Lady Gary Busey will take us to commercial singing her famous rendition of Finger Bowls of Gold....

Who's got my Garlique?

We've scored a bit of a coup here with TWO of Sean's closest friends on the line at once: singer-songwriters Rosanne Clash and Steve Earle. Rosanne and Sean performed together many times in concert, and Steve recorded a duets album with Sean a few years back.

Rosanne, as the stepdaughter of June Carter Clash, we'll start with you: don't you think it's a pity Sean will only be remembered for that Grammy Award-winning hit, "Sunny Came Home?"

"On the line now via Zoom--sponsored by Voltaren--is Jane Seymour, who co-starred with the late Sean Young in 'Die & Let Live'. Jane, thank you for taking time out from your protests and your Hulu show 'Frankly Amazing Grace' to join us. Mama June, what do you make of all this hullabaloo? Do you still speak to Joe Lando from your time on 'Dr. Quinn, Medicine Lady'? What do you think about women being doctors these days? Could a lady doctor have saved Shawn Mendes from dying?

Up next, Camilla Cabello sharing thoughts on mourning her bearded boyfriend Shawn. But before the Duchess joins us, a message from Tom Selleck about reverse mortgages. Take it away, Magnum!"

And we're back.

Okay. Now let's talk about something that's been bugging me for years.

Why was he called "Shawn" when the spelling said "Seen"? I mean, I'm Larry and it's pronounced "Larry," like in the Bible.

So I just had a call with a very prominent person at FOX who I'm not going to name. And Tucker had this to say:

[quote]What was he trying to hide, this big time Hollywood actor with a strange accent? And does it involve children stolen from England, little children, in connection with the Bidens? You've seen how Hunter Biden is built. Those babies wouldn't have a chance. He tore them apart. And imagine what it was like when he and Obama were at it. You KNOW those babies were just cored out. CORED OUT! And, you know, here at America's FOX we all call the great Sean Hannity "Seen Hannity" like it ought to be, but all the Lefties keep using the pedophile pronunciation to try to cut us patriot journalists down.

That's some intriguing evidence.

What do you think, listeners? Was "Shawn Connery" trying to hide a criminal record in Scottishland? I'm not saying it's true, but something smells bad and it ain't the haggis this time.

Next up, Liza Minelli talks about the time she slipped this dead socialist foreigner a lude at Studio 57 -What, Bob? Oh, 4 - Studio 4 to see if it would get him to dance with her. Such a great man.

But first a word from Depends. Now in Minty Fresh, Applie Pie and Meatloaf scents.

(Microphone left hot: Bob, should I have said Studio Number 2 with Depends? Huh? Get it? Ding-ding-ding!)

Flannery O’Connor is on the line with us from Milledgeville, Georgia. Flan, which is your favorite James Bond short story?

Hi Georgia!

And we're back.

Question. What effect will this death have on the election? Anyone know what Sir Connery's party was? Because we KNOW he liked to party. Martini man. Liked the ladies. Leg man. Liked those legs. Now, me, I'm a breast man. Oh, some of those wings are good, lotsa sauce. Not the hot stuff. Bad for the gut. My gut. So I take antacids. And a lot of people are upset now with the vote. Lots of antacid. So I'm wondering. Will Trump win because Sir Bond is dead, or will Biden get the sympathy vote?

You tell me. We're taking calls now.

But first, here's a word from Maalox.

We’re back, and we’ve got Sean Conrad’s cat veterinarian Pussy Glorious on the line who wants to plug his campaign to honor the black man. And up next we have James Gold Bond’s fantastic co-star Shirley Eating talking about the time Sean Caan stuck his Cold Finger up her… Wait, what, we’re off…? No, you’re off… Go to break…

We're back with Kevin Costco star and friend of the late, great O'Connelly. The two starred together in The Untouched, playing venereal detectives in search of the slippery when wet gangster Al Pacino.

Al, if you're listening, you owe me a pastrami on marbled at Nate N Als.

Kevin, how was it working with Connifer on A Fish Called Wonder and who do you think was the sexiest Boned Villain?

Larry: Friends, we have a dear friend to this program and a dear friend of mine, a lady who is known by one name, the legendary Liza May Minnelli. Liza, how are you darling? Can you walk now? Are you able to talk in complete sentences?

Liza: Larry, I'm as stable as a table and ready to rock....

Larry; Your dear friend and co-star in Robocop Sean Connelly has passed away and I was wondering how you're handling the news,

Liza: Larry, wha........??

Larry: Liza, he was many years older than you, and yet you were engaged to him. Do you regret not getting married?

Liza: Larry what are you talking about?

Larry: There you have it folks, the legendary Liza Minnelli regrets not marrying the love of her life, Dean Crosby.

After the break, we'll speak with Chuck Conners, dead via satellite. Chuck starred in my favorite James Bond fim, "Butterfinger," with the best theme song of them all, "Butterfinger," sung of course by the Great Dane Shirley Temple. Shirley will share her recipe for Cubby Broccoli, the "Man with the Midas Muffler."

Larry, it's a diseashe. Addiction is a very serious matter. The Bond movies always glorified that. By the way did I sing Goldfinger or was that some black lady? It sort of is a blur.

If you're just joining us, we're honoring the late Shawn Connery.

With me in the studio now is Shawn's mother, Shirley Jones.

Shirley, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here. So sorry about your loss. Tell me, did you know that Shawn would be such an icon growing up? He went from pop singer-- I loved his version of Da Do Bond Bond -- to renowned international spy.

Was it difficult for him to conduct his spy missions with his face so well known throughout the world? And all the women he bedded! Did he bring them all home to meet you? I'll bet Pussy Galor was your favorite. Or was it Honey Ryder?

But I think what people most want to know. Why didn't you get Shawn to guest star with you on Pear Tree Family?

And we're back. Folks, it's time to get serious. With Stan Canary's untimely passing it's time we took a deep dive into the recent deaths of the young and famous. First, Kobe Brioche died in a horrific chopped salad accident. Truly tragic. He was a talented piece of meat, that's for sure. Then the timelessly beautiful - and flower girl at my second wedding - Olivia de Habitat met her maker. At least she left behind a young corpse. Well, now Stanley. May he forever be with his Stella Artois. Looks like that's all the time we have for tonight. Check out tomorrow's show when the entire cast of Glee will be here.

We're joined now by Shane O'Connery's good friend, Mutiny Caine. Sir Caine, you and Shane invented the elderly action hero genre with all those Justice League of X-traordinary Men movies. Did you prefer playing Alfred the Battler or Dumbledore the Gray or Professor Xavier Cugat? You talk now while I smile and nod.

Uh huh, great. And what did you and O'Connery think about these new young actors like Vinny Morgenstern and Hoop Ackman? Or what about that Michael Fussbuster, I've heard he's a real big talent.

Personal note now, people. Had a project set up with Sir Canary and our beloved Mr President. The three of us playing golf on Trump's course in Scotchland. Trump arrives on Air Force One, Canary in his gold Aston Martin. Three guys in their prime having fun, but with tough questions from me. Like Frost and Nixon, but also with OJ, before he was found to be a murderer. I wanted Canary to wear that woman's skirt that Scotch folk use, the quilt.

Topics? Canary starred in 'The Russia House', so there's one perfect link. We've all got firm views on the woman problem, so push-back on Me Too was in the mix. Don't tell me guys wouldn't eat that up. We all miss the good old days. Wanted to focus too on how Canary had to fight prejudice that he wasn't as good as George Lazerbeam in James Bomb. But Queen Victoria knew, which is why she made him a Lord.

Never heard back from Canary or Trump, but I know why: it's the China Plague. At least Sir Canary died at peace, without a ventilator, in his beloved Banana Isles. Biggest tragedy? He never got to see the result we all want on Tuesday. We'll be right back.

Friends, with me now is Sean’s grief stricken widow Jennifer Connelly. Jen, any plans to remarry? I loved the Rocketeer.

Our Twatter is just bloating up, as the kids say. I'm old but I'm still groovy. We want to thank the Twits who pointed out that some of our language might have led viewers to think Seamus O'Connell was Irish. He was of course Manx, from the Aimee of Mann, where they have those funny looking cats. That's probably why they called him Kitty Galoot. Oh wow, I just put that together. Anyway, Seamus O'Connelly was not Irish.

But why were they always after his lucky charms? Let's hear from Darby O'Gill. Darby from Dublin, you're on the air.

From Montecito via ZOOM we have Duchess Whoresides to tell us how the loss of Seen Connelly will impact her life......are you there, Duchess? ......oh......well she'll be with us once she gets her hair extensions in.

Until then let's have a word from her mother in law Queen Victoria.......

We have Jane Withers on the phone from Hollywood.

"On the line now is Lana Wood. Lana, long before you became a pop chanteuse, you had the good fortune of co-starring with Sinead O'Connor in 'Rhinestones Are Forever' and 'Meteor'. Oh, my apologies...that second film co-starred your sister Natalie Imbruglia with Sinead. Well that brings me to my next question...was there much sibling rivalry, with you being Lana Del Ray and your sister having a huge 90s hit with "Torn"? Whose music do you think Sinead preferred most? Dare I say--what song would've been on her iPod when she croaked? And was the current Pope still mad at Sinead for tearing up the photo of the old Pope on 'MadTV'? Speaking of, up next we have the first black cardinal, Wilford Brimley. Wait, he's dead? Well then why are they making him a member of an all-black Cardinals baseball team? 2020 keeps the hits a-comin'...we'll be right back, folks."

Joining us now is actress Ursula Andrews, who we all remember so fondly for playing Honey Galore in the debut Bond film, "No, Doctor" way back in 1962. Can you believe that in 1962, I was a mere 50 years old? My how time flies.

Ursula, welcome. You're known for sleeping with your costars on your films. Are you sorry that you had Harry Hamlin's baby but not Sean Connery's? What would you have named Sean's baby if you had had it?

On the line is Rock and Roll Legend, The Ms Tina Turner.

Tina, as someone with first-hand experience with abusive stars, do you think Sean Connery was a piece of shit?

Oh, sorry folks, it’s Tina Louise.

Tina, would you ever board a boat for a three hour tour if you knew there was a known abuser onboard? One who was even worse than the Captain?

We've got Sean Young on the line talking about the death of Converse Trainer heir and former heart-throb Campbell Scott. How's the Dying Young sequel, Ghostbusters: Afterlife going Julia?

If you're just joining us, we're covering the life of actor and Scotch tape spokesman Sean Bond.

Let's look at his darkest days, other than Dragonheart, when his films inspired the crimes of Michael Myers. Here to provide insight is actress Jodie Forrester. Josie, before we discuss your whole ordeal with John Benjamin Hickey, did you ever go to a sleepaway camp? Was it Camp Crystal Light? Uh huh. My producer said not to get into the lesbian thing, but really, which of you is the man? Hello?

Today we're talking with Drews Barrymores who spent some time with Seen Connelly. Tell us Draws.....when you were a quarterback with the NHL, how many times did you take a penalty for touching the center's balls?

And which of Seen's too-pays was your favorite?