Let's be signs of a dying career in the entertainment industry!

I'm the product being promoted in tv commercials by the now washed-up celebrity.

Fans Only.

I'm an OnlyFans page.

I’m the Hallmark Christmas movie shot in Vancouver in June.

I’m the Cameo bio advertising personal greetings for only $39.99.

I’m an exercise for elders video product.

Considering voting Republican.

I’m the Daily Fail pictures of the “star” walking around Beverly Hills for no reason.

I'm over 40...

I'm DANCING WITH THE STARS....

.... and I'm the unreturned phone calls to DANCING WITH THE STARS.

I’m the Good Morning America appearance after being voted off DWTS.

Adopted by the Christian Supremacists.

I'm the unexpected coming out.

I'm a lead in SHARKNADO 3...

I was sexually abused. I can only talk about now that my ratings are low and I'm struggling to get any attention I can.

R11...Kirstie already did DWTS (season 12)...she was partnered with Maksim...I think she finished 3rd...not sure...not looking it up

I'm the "under-5" celeb cameo in SHARKNADO 3.

I'm the actress who just hit 40 and has never managed to secure a breakout role. I know I'll never work again.

I'll probably disappear from IMDB soon as well.

I'm the "pansexual queer" dude (but of course eschew masculine pronouns) who got a bunch of tats and married a dyke to secure mainstream acceptance. It's NOT WORKING!

I’m the 40-something fading action star releasing a blues album and marrying an air hostess younger than my daughter.

I’m the voiceover gig in Toy Story 10

I'm Jesse Metcalfe in a series of interchangeable Hallmark Channel movies.

Remember when I was DL hawt?

I'm the Quibi streaming service. I lasted all six months and blew threw $2 billion

Hi! I'm Scott Baio!

I'm the invented trauma bravely revealed on whichever local talk show will book me.

Bookings for State Fairs

I'm Anna Kendrick, regretting my association with R24 and quite possibly, the day I was born.

I'm the booze and dope.

Autograph show.

I'm the 11th hour revelation that my entire public persona has been--gasp!--a tragic lie!

I'm choking the girlfriend in front of a seedy apartment complex.

I'm natural aging.

I'm being a part of this.

"I'm the "pansexual queer" dude (but of course eschew masculine pronouns) who got a bunch of tats and married a dyke to secure mainstream acceptance. It's NOT WORKING!"

You're confusing a has been with a never was

Im the weight-loss commercials.

I'm the terrifying late-in-life cosmetic surgery and a paid appearance in Repug propaganda, followed by a strenuous U-turn of public denial.

Stick a fork in me, cause I am DONE.

I am the country album.

You come forward with a story about how an even more famous person abused you....and your revelation is met with a collective shrug

You're doing interviews about how you left the business because it's "so superficial"....leaving out the part where you left because no one will offer you any good roles

You endorse Trump, and do interviews where you complain that no one will hire you because you're a Republican

Shilling shit on QVC

You're last film barely got a theatrical release - it was released in maybe a handful of theaters in the US and hardly registered overseas

You move to a foreign country and complain that America just doesn't get you when you can't get work anymore

I'm the once upon a time huge African American Pop Star finally coming home......

to the NAACP Image Awards

I'm the disco album that killed disco

Writing a tell-all memoir with all kinds of explosive revelations to get your name back in the headlines

I'm my daughter's graduation at Big Boring State University. It's nice and all but 20 years ago I pictured this being Brown or Yale and a couple paparazzi taking our picture.

I'm their YouTube channels

I’m the line of handcrafted jewelry whose inspiring designs are based on my personal story of rising from the ashes. Naturally, I am sold at major high-end American retailers like JC Penneys or The Bradford Exchange shops.

Next year, I am going to issue a collectible set of pocket knives through the Hamilton Mint.

I'm the extra 100 lbs. packed on that will never come off.

[quote]Writing a tell-all memoir with all kinds of explosive revelations to get your name back in the headlines

I'm the 2500 unsold copies, and the deafening roar of silence.

I'm the Principal's Leadership Circle at Talent Unlimited HS in NYC, wondering why the has-been is still serving since he doesn't donate half as much as Lisa Lisa who isn't even in the Circle!

We're the doorman at the Vanity Fair party who do, in fact, know who you once were, and are not going to let you in.

doormen.

"I'm the extra 100 lbs. packed on that will never come off"

I'm the insistence that these pounds were gained for a role - because you're such a method actor!

I'm the Instagram addiction.

Val Kilmer uses a trachea feeding tube now- how dare you!

I'm now Champagne Rose. Madame X is officially passé.

I'm Headlining and SRO.....

on Carnival Cruise lines

Turning into a "lifestyle expert" and shilling a line of products

I'm unsold tickets... I mean, I'm nervous exhaustion and serious health issues!

After 30 years, I'm capitalizing on appearing in a slasher movie that I once refused to acknowledge on my resume. Watch out horror conventions, here I come!

I'm commercials **cough cough AMY SCHUMER cough cough**

I'm expanding my fanbase... on the Food Network!

r59, you can put Janet Jackson in that category, too

jinx, R61!

Great minds... etc.

I'm the line of anti-aging and lifestyle products hawked on QVC

I’m a American actor as a contestant on a British reality show.

I'm starting a podcast in my garage... and I'm gonna tell some hard truths, man!

I'm the "WHET" thread on Datalounge.

Synchronicity, R62

-R61

When your new address is 155-175 W Hudson Ave, Englewood, NJ 07631

Look! I'm even wearing a superhero costume! Please Marvel Studios give me a role!

My shitty CW tv series is going off the air and I don't want to work for Hallmark!

I'm accusing a more famous person of sexual harassment

I'm the two year Vegas residency gig

I'm the press release announcing a celebrity's bisexuality. (After a flurry of articles and events, the celeb will continue to have opposite-sex relationships only.)

I'm the duet with Barbra Streisand.

I'm the perfect example - The recent Matt McConnehey thread

True story:

I'm the all-consuming obsession with my one memorable role, even though I still get other work. I include but am not limited to:

Referring to myself by my character's name and sometimes putting it in inverted commas between my actual first and last names.

Asking my followers to post my character's best lines.

Repeatedly posting the same video clip of my 'big scene'.

Starting an in-character podcast.

Posting all the fan art I receive in a given week and bulking it up with repeats when I only receive one....or none.

And finally, travelling to the US to participate in autograph shows and telling anyone who'll listen that, yeah, it's kind of tacky but who would turn down getting paid handsomely to take a free holiday? In reality, some of my friends who live there now are too polite to say no when I ask if I can sleep in their guest rooms or on their sofas, all in the interest of 'catching up'.

I’m one of the many bloated LA mansions on the market as the money stream dries up.

I'll reveal the names of my molesters.....as long as you send me some $$$$

OMG R71, I cannot stand Supernatural or either of the actors on it, especially Jensen. No matter what his crazy fans say, I think he's a closet Republican and a shitty actor on top of that. How he ever got an acting gig is beyond me.

I used to be the nude Playboy or Playboy pictorial to show my fans that I am now “just getting in touch with my intimate, sensual side at the age of 74.”

Then I used to be the “accidentally” leaked sex tape with the really good lighting, camera angles, and soft focus close ups. My “violated and privacy stolen” owner would go into hiding until the contract with Vivid Porn was signed and then go on Larry King to get redemption.

Now, I am an OnlyFans site, where fans can see my hole, pole, and my auditions for new roles!!!!!

I'm begging to be on a Bravo Show!

I'm the hip, young artist who is featured on the aging, has-been pop star's latest single to get my fans to listen and give them a little help on the charts.

I'm eBay, where they go to auction off that hat they wore in episode 9 of season 3 because they desperately need the extra money.

I'm now a life coach. I don't have any legitimate credentials, but my pathetic fans, uh, I mean clients, can Skype with me for $500 per hour.

I have a few announcements to make. I don't support BLM, I think COVID is exaggerated, and I am most definitely voting for Trump/Pence. Now please give me some publicity. Can my name at least be a trending topic on Twitter for a few hours? Pretty please?

I'm the cult they joined for better networking opportunities!

I'm the "coming out" as bisexual or non-binary even though I am most certainly not. I just need a little publicity to get my name out there.

I’m endorsing Trump.

I'm the calls that I do myself to the pap agencies, but they don't care to come out and pap me walking down the street.

R88, kind of like R74?

I’m the once drop dead gorgeous sex symbol who suddenly rails against ageism and fat shaming once I become a fat old cow.

----

I'm the question "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???", followed by a poorly-sung snippet of one of my hits from decades past, in an attempt to procure a slightly larger $25 bag or cocaine from a streetcorner dealer at 3AM.

I'm the Psychic Hotline infomercials.

I'm the pubes sprouting on a (soon-to-be former) child star

This thread is pure misery

I take selfies on Instagram all the time.

I have to produce multiple miniseries for TV.

I have to start a fake marriage and do fake pap strolls everyday. I’m nothing without Harvey’s cock.

I am a Republican. My last job was a Hallmark movie.

I'm the racial harassment that happens when you go out to get a Subway sandwich at 2:00 a.m. when it's -30 fucking degrees.

I'm the cry of liberal bias that Hollywood has against conservative actors when trying to explain why they can't find any work in Hollywood.

R102 that's not a sign of a dying career, that's a sign of a career that was barely alive in the first place.

I'm the revelation that (insert name of major celebrity here) once hit on me at a party, but I was 'too shy' to go home with him.

I'm Major Celebrity's PR team. I don't deny Has Been's fabricated story as it's great publicity for my closeted client.

I'm the Adult Contemporary chart.

I’m the Hail Mary ‘Country Album’

I write an autobiography that reveals I was molested

I'm pregnancy. I'm shamelessly exploited for self-promotion.

I'm the interview done with PBS about the marriage that ended 5 years ago and the paparazzi that have been on the payroll for two decades.

I’m the girl still in love with the rock star, OP, but left him for the movie star, because the movie star is NICER.

I'm the supporting role of Rena in No More Laughter, has-been Amerigo Felluci's low-budget B-movie shooting in Rome, one of 3 movies he makes this year, just to keep his crumbling house on Capri from foreclosure. I will be passed off to Americans as a starring role directed by an important European auteur in a spectacular European glamour project.

DL loves stories of losers.

I'm a string of one-nighters at Indian casinos throughout the Midwest.

I am a Las Vegas headliner

When my new album’s first week sales including streaming was only 21,500 album equivalent 🤣

Mariah Carey’s ‘The Rarities’ First-Week Sales (SPS): 21,500 units

First-Week Sales (Pure): 14,800 units First-Week Billboard 200 Placement: #31

I'm the role on a Syfy show.

I am the co-headliner at a Midwestern County Fair.

I will only be singing from MY NEW ALBUM.

Can I be the host of a Christmas cupcake competition show? If not, I'll settle for a covid PSA. That's if Lance Bass's agent doesn't get on the phone first.

We're the songs off the new album. The crowd is dead silent when we're being performed. It is only when we perform our hits from 20-30 years ago that they come back to life.

I am the late-in-life baby with the new spouse. If I'm a male star, the new spouse is half my age and has a lifestyle website. If I'm female, the baby is born via surrogate using a donor egg but I'll wear that fake baby bump and get massively offended if anyone questions my fertility at age 47.

R110, Yes. And I'm the make up not applied so I can appear more earnest. (Which also serves as a down-low humble brag about how fresh-faced I still look. Just a dab of demure pink lipstick for me.)

Her skin looks like leather and she looks old, R110. I am her delusion.

I'm the Broadway appearance after a career in the movies.

[quote] tasteful album of standards released by a once popular rock star.

Totally a death sentence

Yeah, that standards album pretty much ended Ronstadt's career as a huge rock/pop star.

"I have to start a fake marriage and do fake pap strolls everyday. I’m nothing without Harvey’s cock."

DL's obsession with Lawrence is weird. If she wanted publicity from her marriage, why did she married a non-famous guy that nobody cares about? She wouldn't have gotten a lot more mileage from dating or marrying a famous guy

Whoops, meant "She would have gotten..."

I'm the has-been's house, which is also a reasonably priced, twee-decorated, B&B, in some C-list resort town. Life-long "friend" also in residence.

I’m the self-created alcohol brand.

Miles Teller, Dan Aykroyd (just announced his own vodka)

I’m the garbage remakes.

I’m OnlyFans, the sad future of Hollywood.

I’ll be the hundreds of crappy streaming shows that populate Netflix and amazon. I’m the bottom of the barrel.

I’m the small roles in Tyler Perry projects.

I’m social media where everyone is famous.

I'm going to "find Jesus" and give a bunch of interviews about how I have renounced by shameful past

I'm the "leaked" nudes. OOPS!

You want fries with that?

R137, I'll be the "stolen" sex tape to go along with the leaked nudes

Im the skin care product being hawked by the celebrity. I contain exotic melon and I have an infomercial that airs at 3am.

I'm doing Christian films!