How to survive as a Gay Man in your 50s and 60s

Why do you have no desire to date, OP?

I came out late.. met my (future) husband when I was 43.We’ve been together for 18+ years now, married for 5. The best way for me was to finally settle down We have a few gay couple friends that we socialized with (pre-COVID)... Life is good

I am in a study for people who have had or have prostate cancer. I’m taking a 5 minute break from filling out a quarterly questionnaire. I have an internal pump for erections. I have not had sex in 6-7 years. Due to a somewhat moderate problem with urinary incontinence, I put on the form, I have given on having sex. I turn 65 next month. So that’s my life at 65. As much as I would like to meet someone and spend the rest of my life with someone, it’s not going to happen. Am I fine with that? What choice do I have? I was also diagnosed with prostate cancer at at 53. So that’s life at 65.

I'm 56. I had a 15 yr relationship that ended several years ago, since then I've dated a bit but nothing serious. I have really enjoyed being on my own. Many of my coupled friends constantly badger me about finding someone else and being in a relationship again but it just isn't a priority for me now - I've got a great life and I'm perfectly content.

I'm 55 years old and I still have hope that I will meet someone, but in the age of covid it's not a good idea to socialize too much.

Bob Bergeron wrote a book on being a healthy and happy gay man over 50. Then he killed himself.

R6- That OVER THE HILL scene queen was ALWAYS a poor example for other gay men.

OP, are you open to the role of "daddy" in sexual encounter? If yes, would you object to having sex with young guys that are 20 years younger? It may not lead to anything but it could be fun.

Get in the shape and learn to top with conviction

You will have 18-40 olds throwing themselves at you

No guy is going to value you for your personality and aspirations

I was widowed at 39 after 13 years and again at 56 after 16 years. I'm now 58. I had a nice social life pre-Covid with both gay and straight friends and a few fuck buddies when I had an urge. I don't really feel a third relationship is in the cards and dating is impossible now so I'm just in a work/home/work/home cycle and trying to get to some projects I've been meaning to do for years.

Being a TOP at ANY age said person has an advantage over everyone else in terms of meeting someone for sex.

[quote] I was widowed at 39 after 13 years and again at 56 after 16 years.

Did the police investigate you?

68. Retired. No interest in sex/dating, and haven't had any interest in years.

I enjoy having an uncomplicated life, and don't want any external things/people disturbing that dynamic.

Appreciate the old, appreciate the new. Nobody is too old to discover new, exiting and / or interesting things which can enrich one's life further.

Love and nurture your support system which can be friends or family members. Contribute any way you can within your group and your (idea or version of) community. It keeps you busy and makes you feel needed and maybe even valued.

[quote] How to survive as a Gay Man in your 50s and 60s

Be rich, in shape, and hung.

Speaking as someone much younger than 50, gay venues can be tragic and depressing at any age. Do you live in or near a major city? Have you tried scanning meetup.com for gay social groups for older people instead? Or general groups for people that age?

I'm 62 in fairly good shape but most people say I look 'late 40s'. I was in the closet until I actually was 40 and used my career as my excuse for not having a life or finding the right person. I find dating to be awful as I only seem to go for men who are extremely masculine with serious careers. Most of these guys are hard to find. People always want to fix me up with someone really 'creative". These people typically just want a sugar daddy.

So, A few years ago I decided to cultivate a group of younger gay men in their 30s who I can treat to great dinners and the occasional trip. (again sugar daddy) But, I don't expect anything long term as they are way too young for me and I have no desire to have them push me around in a wheelchair. I just enjoy showing them what's out there to enjoy. It was all going great until covid. Only last month did I start dining with others again and planning next year's travel if we are allowed to do it.

The upshot. Although I am very happy with my life, I have realized that I will probably die alone except for paid staff and my girlfriends and the occasional straight guy friends. I don't see a real relationship coming my way. I don't find it sad as much as irritating.

I'm 63 and 6ft 3in and recently divorced and hired a trainer that is putting me thru a boot camp type routine that movie actors go thru to build up quickly. It's grueling, but I already see impressive results in 1.5 months. I'm a top and of means so I should be fine. I will have to "play" the daddy role, though.

"I'm 62 but look 'like I'm in my late 40's"

You shouldn't have to just settle for "surviving"... you have to be able to [italic]thrive.[/italic]

I'm 65 and my partner is 64. We've been retired since the end of our 50s, and moved to a small (but really great) Florida Gulf town in which it's totally comfortable to be gay.

I walk and work out every day, and we have lots of friends with whom to go out for lunch (outdoors only, socially distanced). Flip flops (after changing out of the morning's sneakers), tank tops, and board shorts are the order of the day.

We've taken month plus long road trips every year except this one, and just generally are having a great time.

R21 I envy you. You are living the life I wish I had. Mazel tov!

I'm 62. My partner of 25 years died 10 years ago. Most of my friends and relatives are dead. I spend a lot of time with ghosts.

R-19 Not it seems to guys in their 30s. I am getting a great deal more interest than when I actually was in my 40s and looked 30s.

Im 55 years old and nowadays guys in their 30's often look like their in their 20's only because I'm SO OLD now.

Just be yourself. Do not look to anyone else on how to live within your own skin.

I've always been attracted to men over 40 and was embarrassed about it when I was younger. Now all the guys I like are my age or older.

[quote] Flip flops (after changing out of the morning's sneakers), tank tops, and board shorts are the order of the day.

Why do you hate yourself?

I'm 56 and kind of a loaner but I have a great husband who is more of a loaner than me. I never felt the need to join a large group of friends. I like to keep it small and have quality friendships. I think that is the key...have a small circle of quality friends you can depend on. Popularity mattered to me in my 20's but thank god that is over. It is exhausting.

a loaner?

r30, they obviously have an open relationship where they loan each other out to other couples.

R29 I'm interested in a loan...what are your interest rates?

I’m 56 and married (for two years) to the love of my life, who is 62.

Yeah, I know, I sound like Tom Bianchi, but he really is.

We’ve both withdrawn from gay life this year, for obvious reasons, but before that we often socialized with a small circle of friends, and went to bars a few times a month. We don’t miss it (much). As far as age is concerned, we live in a city - San Francisco, aka Palm Springs’ waiting room - where it really isn’t much of an issue when it comes to hooking up.

Inspiring r33

Im 59 ,will be 60 in november . The last time I had sex was 2011 with my late husband who then died from ms. I still look good,as Ive always been particular about grooming and dressing ,but I dont look 10 years younger thats for sure. Not even 5 years younger. Ive had opportunities to get laid but it just hasnt interested me. I still masturbate every day so its not like i cant have sex ,but after a lifetime of fucking Im just not that interested anymore . I do okay financially , live comfortably if modestly ,I have friends and family I care for ,so I consider myself blessed .

I think it’s completely unrealistic for a 50 year old gay man to think he will find someone. I’ve never known it to happen (and I live in the “gay ghetto” in a large city.) I am very lucky I decided to settle down at 37 and get with a man 7 years younger. I’m now 50 and couldn’t imagine having to grow old/die alone. Although anything could happen, I’m very blessed and look down with pity and sadness at my single friends.

R36 that sounds dreadful

[quote]what you find the hurdles to be?

Chirpy, happy little homosexuals like yourself.

I bet you have a booth "filled with treasures" at your local antique mall.

Insufferable couple deserves each other R36

R36 touches on something I dread more than anything: the thought that my husband, who is 6 years older than me, might die and leave me all alone. At that point - many, many years in the future, I hope - I’ll probably just hang it up.

R38 I have a booth "filled with treasures" and it makes me very happy . Not to mention a little extra cash never hurts . Of course covid has killed my sales and I may very well close mine ,but I dont get the venom in your post about it .

I was going to say “great trolling” r36, but then you published a second post at r41.

I’ve been single for decades. Then, unexpectedly, I met a special someone at age 57.

I think the key is to be in an open and evolving mindfulness, It’s not an easy mindset to be in, especially at 57. I had become very anti-change and had to really push myself to accept my own challenge of breaking out of my comfort zone.

I wasn’t looking for a relationship/love, yet when I broke down my own barriers and sought out a new path, it happened. I became open to possibilities.

Two years later, I’m content with my life entering a new chapter, and all the lovely new baggage that comes along with it.

We have no role models for growing older due to the previous pandemic. It's hard to age in this community. So much focus is on coming out which tends to happen in youth for most. I think about this a lot as well. SAGE is a wonderful organization but I wish there was a pre-SAGE group as well.

Dont look for answers from others. Set the example. There are no rules. Yes, your generation was wiped out. So it’s up to you to model old gay behavior however you please.

R6 Whoa...

If you’d like an active sex life, learn to top.

Cue the old bottom saying “I still get laid”. But he’s the exception.

[quote] I'm 62 in fairly good shape but most people say I look 'late 40s'.

Took 17 posts for the first "BUT I LOOK TEN YEARS YOUNGER" poster.

As fellow faceless, nameless anonymous posters R17, we are impressed.

Instead of learning to top I learned to travel. My sex life improves in Cairo or Bombay than it does in the USA. That is all on pause now due to Covid.

Third world trade is an alternative option for old bottoms, thanks for sharing

R36 well if you've never known it to happen in your gay ghetto, then it must be the case for everyone around the world.

[quote] I'm 62 in fairly good shape but most people say I look 'late 40s'.

MARY!

I'll BET they do!

The gays in their 50s and 60s with money, even a little bit, are getting hot guys in their 20s these days. Lots of sugar babies are becoming housewives.

I'm one of those gays that doesn't get along with other gay men that well other than in relationships. No gay friends, etc. It's not them, it's me. I have issues. One thing I've noticed in "gay ghettos" of SF and LA is that having a strong group of gay friends that feel like family is important. In SF there was an elder elder gay who lost his partner to AIDS some time ago, but he showed up at the bar every day and had a group of friends that really supported him. They were all retired, had some money, and liked to meet everyday for drinks from 4pm-8pm. The guy passed last summer and they put a plaque on his barstool. Just from observation, I think having a group of supportive gay friends is important. I aspire to be able to figure this out.

Also, I met this beautiful gay couple on a nude beach in Spain that were in their late 50's and really did look late 40's. They were ripped, held hands, and did not even look at any thotties trying to get their attention, which impressed me. I walked over and asked what their advice was. They said honestly: "People always thing they can do better once in a relationship and you know what, they can't". This really seemed like smart advice, so contrary to the apps we use to actually find dates.

As someone who is not at that age yet, but visits DL often, it seems like there are several things going on

At some point you will need to make the transition from late middle age to senior and that is not easy for the sort of men who have placed much emphasis on their looks

At some point you will need to make a decision about work. Many people (US Senators, for instance) don't have any desire to stop working ever, but many people look forward to being able to stop working

Health issues become real and many older gay men have no nearby family members who can take them home from MD appointments and the like

There really aren't many gay or gay-friendly retirement communities or assisted living facilities.

[quote] a small (but really great) Florida Gulf town in which it's totally comfortable to be gay.

Can you share which town it is?

R56 - Wilton Manors

R3: I'm sorry to hear about your prostate cancer. There is research that shows this cancer affects gay men more acutely than straight ones. I was first diagnosed at 44, but didn't have a radical prostatectomy until I was 58.

Cancer is life-changing in more ways than one. One "benefit"--if I may call it that--is that I care so much less about material things and about what others, gay and straight, may think of how I live/dress/act/etc. It makes for a less stressful and more rewarding life.

I am fortunate to have an understanding husband--we've been together for 30 years--and some good friends. We take each day as it comes.

I was not "out" in my college days, but my husband was. He tells me about the dozens and dozens of friends lost to AIDS. All I remember is the dread that any and every sex-related activity might lead to death (and, of course, to "outing" in my case). My husband and I both took an HIV test at the local gay health center after we'd been together a year or so. At the time, it took a full week to get your results. That week of waiting was unimaginably stressful. (We both tested negative, and remain that way today at age 59).

It is helpful, though painful at times, to remember the abject fear and utter isolation I felt in those days. For me, today is a walk in the park by comparison. Good luck to us all.

Wilton Manors isn't a gulf town.

R59 - I meant Sarasota

I’m in my mid-fifties and partnered for 20 years. All my gay friends are partnered and many have kids.

So great no to have to look for a sex partner or be in the gay scene. I never got in it much anyway. There’s only so much eyerolling one can do.

I'm 40 and I am completely own my own in every sense of the word. I agree with R55. It's become somewhat of a mission of mine to create retirement communities that cater to gay men and have amenities/programming that gay men want. I have the background to make it happen and have been discussing this idea with some of the owners of gay resorts in Palm Springs. Some are very open if I can figure out the logistics which is going to take some time. I'm not quite sure how to put the pieces together, but this is feels like something that I want to dedicate my life trying to make happen. Especially after the pandemic, I feel that a sense of community and belonging is key too longevity and happiness. I think a lot of guys my age struggle with this as well. I've actually floated this idea around on DL, but it always gets shot down. The first step is to start doing focus groups to see if this is something that is even wanted.

r19...you need to stop that shit. 1. YOU will one day get older...in fact, you're getting older every day. And 2. Not everyone looks like a troll past the age of 35...I know guys who are in their 30s who look 60, and I know guys who are 60 who look 40. Its all about genes. It has nothing to do with working out, clothes, or any other superficial exterior treatments. Yes, you can keep in shape for better health, but your looks and aging are not contingent on that.

R62, it's a good idea. Datalounge had a thread about some lesbians who created a gay retirement community outside of Santa Fe (apparently successfully), but mostly for lesbians. Search for it, it may give you ideas.

I heard a guy say this week that getting Botox injected regularly into your face is just normal skin care routine for people in their 20s.

They are going to look like embalmed freaks after doing this shit for decades, so be glad you grew up with and know some guys who look like real men.

[quote] I heard a guy say this week that getting Botox injected regularly into your face is just normal skin care routine for people in their 20s. And I am so fucking stupid that it never occurred to me that he may be exaggerating and/or completely full of shit. Especially given the price of said Botox injections.

Fixed it R65

R66 oh yeah?

Lonely queen with no money, huh? R66

"It's preventative."

I don’t think there’s ever been a more depressing thread on Datalounge. Thanks OP. Maybe you’ll get COVID and you won’t have to worry about it and ruin the rest of our times.

Like R49 I found that I have more sex when I travel to other countries. Now that I'm back in the U.S. while I wait out the pandemic I receive fewer offers for one-on-one fun. Oh, by the way, I'm 66. I dress well in mostly casual clothes, have excellent hygiene, watch what I eat, and get plenty of exercise. And most importantly, have a positive outlook on life. Negative attitudes, on any subject, is an immediate turn off if you're interested in meeting new people or keeping the friends you have.

OP asked how to survive. Regardless if your orientation, keep active and involved is the best way to enjoy the senior years.

Being single at 66 but still able to get occasional casual sex by going abroad sounds like living the dream!

52. Have a genetic life expectancy lower than average - likely pre-65. Trying to retire and enjoy life. Feel I’ve gotten WAY more life than I ever expected. Coming out at 17 in the mid-80s, I felt destined to die young. By some miracle, I’ve been given decades more life. A blessing and a curse - I never had the youthful sense of immortality that allowed for large ambitions or crazy dreams. But also learned very early to seize the day and live like you could die tomorrow.

Have a partner for 21 years. Not a Cinderella tale. Think I would have been happy alone too. But we are happy and have a nice life with a city apartment and modest country house.

Not sure what I want now. Feel I’ve gotten what I want. Current political and social (aka, social media) life is depressing. Like traveling and going out to gay places - hoping it comes back next year. But if I die tomorrow, I’m ok.

The Daddy fetish is real and growing. You don't even have to be a top. No shortage of younger guys wanting to play the naughty boy for Uncle or Daddy.

R63, great point.

When I was 26, I had a state id (not a DL) on me and was with friends in a bar. I was kicked out even after they looked at my i.d.

They said it was fake.

It's not a great memory. The friends were actually more like working acquaintances and were miffed (friends would have laughed and made me feel better about it.)

Years later, when I get told wow you seriously don't look your age I believe them.

Weird to me as a 50-something that so many old guys have focused on what they look like and sex. I had my fill of great and abundant sex all over the world from 16-40. Nothing ultimately fulfilling comes from it and I find it’s barely worth the effort now. I really don’t care if I look my age or if guys want to have sex with me. More than content to watch 10 minutes of porn and get on with my life.

R76, you make a great point.

I took care of my mother until she died, supporting her emotionally in ways that my brothers chose not to or were incapable of doing.

I have ONE great work credit to my name that no one can ever ever take away from me.

I long for intimacy but have no desire to go out and suck just any dick -- gots to have a connection.

I'd rather be alone than be with someone who treats me like crap.

R74 ewwww just ewww.

R30 - obviously, they rent each other out

R76 - I want to date you

As a 50 year old white guy, I have found I can get ugly-to-average looking younger Latino, Asian, or black guys very easily. Someone upthread mentioned the “daddy fetish” and it’s true. All I have to do is stare them down at the gym or the park. Have and show confidence and it’s a done deal.

r75...i have the same problem. Im 58, but genuinely look 10-15 years younger. Im the oldest and I look younger than my 2 brothers and my sister. Thats why I say its genetic. My siblings took after my fathers side of the family and hit a wall at around 40 looks wise. I took after my mother. Im tall, thin (not skinny), full curly blond hair, blue eyes, high cheekbones, full lips. I dont have a feminine face, but I have a femininity about my features that gives a youthful appearance, if that makes sense. Thats why I have a short fuse with guys that think if you say you look young, youre delusional. I havent dated in a few years, and as shallow as it sounds, my issue is guys my age tend to be old...looks and activity wise. Just because youre older doesnt mean you have to let yourself go and look like shit.

R76 - These types of obsessions could be related to where you live and the values of importance placed on these ideas of what a gay man should be. If you live in a hub like LA, SF, NYC you may feel more of a pressure to stay young. Maybe in other places there is a less of a value placed on the superficial, but I don't know.

R76 and R77 Where have you guys been all my life?

[quote]Of course covid has killed my sales and I may very well close mine ,but I dont get the venom in your post about it .

Perhaps R36 & R41, you should go outside, put on your prescription glasses on-a-chain, then look up at the fucking sign over the fucking door and try to fucking comprehend that this is Data Lounge, not Romper Room. We don't give hugs, but kicks in the cunt bone.

Kisses, doll.

R56, the town is Dunedin, one town north of Clearwater. Sarasota is not a bad answer, but it's too tony for my blood.

I signed this time.

...and not far from St. Petersburg, which is Florida's gayest city, Wilton Manors included.

Sarasota is my planned retirement destination. I'm 62, single and quite well-off. I'm good with being single; I really don't want to change much about how I live my life or accommodate interests that I have no interest in. I don't mislead any one when I meet them. I mean if some one struck me like a bolt of lightening, I would probably re-think everything, but may be I'm just a bit too practical now, sex is fun when it feels right, but thankfully I'm unchained from those insane hormones of my younger years. Life is good, I don't obsess about a relationship whatsoever. been there, done that, came with its own pros and cons, just like the single life.

I'm fine being alone.

I just can't deal with being lonely.

62 here. Married to same guy for 32 years. Zero interest in having sex, but still love eye candy. I have a small circle of 6 friends, with a mix of ages of 45-63. I feel lucky about that. Find friends - it’s the only way. I also belong to the local Prime Timers group, so tons of acquaintances if I want to go out with them. See if there is one in your area.

R89 Well said. Thank you.

R90, is Prime Timers in NYC? I couldn't find a site for them.

I've been considering suicide.

Thanks, DL, for this thread, and helping me decide it's time to pull the trigger.

I love how this thread has become a hilarious excuse for Dataloungers over 50 to talk about how hot they think they are!

"I keep fit, I eat right, and everyone mistakes me for only 35!"

I have a question. Do any DL people 50+ still get checked out or flirted with while shopping at places like Trader Joe's, Whole Foods etc?

It sounds like there are a lot of single guys who would like to partnered. What's preventing them from doing it?

Like cake ? I'm looking for work.

R94 I love how gay guys under 50 don't think it's possible to not be attracted to or interested in them

[quote] It sounds like there are a lot of single guys who would like to partnered. What's preventing them from doing it?

Mother.

Too many people in middle and late middle age dismiss friends as too much work and find reasons to “cut out” people who do some thingthey dislike or have a trait that bothers them. I see it here all the time - righteous eldergays saying how they won’t deal with family or friends they have had for a long time.

From what I’ve seen, the happiest elders are the ones who worked to maintain friends - despite flaws and challenges. Just like a marriage, friendships can be work. But it seems like the work - and willingness to overlook issues - keeps these people connected with a strong support system in old age.

R93

Please don't. Think carefully. Again. Day by day. Listen to a symphony. Read a book. Watch your favorite movie. Distract yourself. And wait one more day. Then think again.

Please.

R96 thats the age old question ,isnt it ? Any halfway cute guy my age (59) wants a 25 year old .Same in the straight world too. its a man thing . I have always dated my age or older , and have no problems overlooking a gut or hair loss . But the ONLY thing that ever hits me up on dating apps are the truly ancient or hideously unfuckable . Trust me when I say my standards arent that high , but come on . Id kill for a guy my level ( 5...6 on a really good day) to express interest . I have to like the face ,even more so than the body or dick .

I think there should be a euthanasia clinic for single eldergays over 60 so they can just bow out peacefully. I’ll keep going as long as my husband is around, but after that I’ll happily leave this chapter (I believe we have another purpose after this earthly life.)

R76 that's great to know. I just turned 50 last month.

Moved from Los Angeles to Seattle a year ago. No gay life here, even pre-covid

r95 yeah but by middle aged cougars all the time.

There’s no reason for gay men to exist after the age of 60

What is the reason for them to exist before 60?

Our cultural slide these several decades took a lot of good "gay" jobs with it. Blame dumbing down and an intensive promotion of lowest-common-denominator pap.

r92 - Prime Timers NYC uses Nyprime69.com for their webpage. Today was their fall foliage outing in Washington Square.

R107 - amazing random sex, world travel, carefree lifestyle, no responsibilities, good income, attending world-class theater and the arts, being more stylish than most.

r86 Sarasota Florida described as TONY!!! Are you kidding me?? SARA FUCKING SOTA??? TONY??? WHAT!!! I never in all my life have EVER heard anyTHING as funny as some queen trying to describe Sarasota Florida as Tony kinda town!! I thought I was going to fall out of my chair!! First off, it's on the Gulf coast so it has everything against it right there, second, it's too far north on the Gulf coast to make it desirable. Yes, like all cities, Sarasota does indeed have some very nice homes and areas, but to describe the town as "too Tony"? What were you R86? Raised in a gas station? Even those raised in a Walmart know better. I must print your comment out and put it on the bathroom wall. Thanks for a good laugh.

Simmer down, queen.

Take a fucking xanax R111. When was the last time you were even in Sarasota ? Its gotten very expensive .

R110, why do those things have to stop at 60?

R111 - lives in a single-wide trailer outside of Mobile, Alabama, behind a truck stop.

R115 even if I did at least I know Sarasota is not considered a Tony town!

Sarasota is the trashiest trash that ever trashed.

R102 I had the same experience you did. I decided to be open to mild fetishes and met a great, accomplished man about my age (49). He’s a gainer, he wishes to be very large. I like a portly man, and honestly he struggles to even maintain, so his weight isn’t an issue for me. He’s a former skinny who dreamed of being fat. So I rub his belly (which is very nice) and I tell him he looks heavier, or encourage him to have a second helping. Not a big deal. A little accommodation and I get a fantastic boyfriend in return.

Reading this thread is mixed with sadness and also beauty.

Mostly sadness

There is a healthy happy sex life possible for older men. They even made a documentary about it.

[quote] I love how gay guys under 50 don't think it's possible to not be attracted to or interested in them

Double negative, dear.

R105- I RARELY get flirted with or checked out by a guy in a food store but older woman will say inane things to me.

This is depressing me for the future.

It all depends on whether you define yourself entirely by being sexually attractive to strangers. if you do, like Bob Bergeron did, you're probably going to be miserable when you get past 40 (and definitely when you get past 50). If you have other things to offer the world than that, your aging process will not be so emotionally hard.

Don’t focus on your gayness

OP here. Thanks for your answers . I love the honesty and as someone else said r93 ,Life can be shit and it is not for cowards but it can be amazing and wonderful. Don’t give that up.

So many of these answers are great. Knowing myself and not caring as much what people think is one of the best things about getting older. Being ok with being you is good. Loving my friends is wonderful. The little things are great. Still learning things is great. I love travelling and I really only started in my mid 40s, but I have found out so much.

I think for me the hardest thing is that I had a fear of sex for so long because of AIDS which has kept me alive but sometimes make me resent the younger generation not having to give a shit.

But then I am still a romantic. I love to laugh and I love old movies and I love that I can say that to you guys and we can think of movies in the 30s and 40s and not think “Honey I shrunk the Kids 2” was the high point in Hollywood.

I am so glad I asked this question. The replies have been wonderful.

Any of you eldergays that are alone think maybe it would have been better if you had married a woman after about 50?

Obviously not - they don't have a dick.

R128 not married but if I did it all again I would love to have my own children .

R130 - are you bi?

R129 - I am a top who prefers eating ass.

R131 - I don't know about R130 but I feel like if you prefer men, you are gay. I am a top (I tried bottoming but with ulcerative rectocolitis, I couldn't deal) and for me at least, men are like filet mignon while fucking woman is satisfying in the way a decent Caesar salad is good. Hence, I obviously prefer men. I like to bring anyone to orgasm. My testosterone at 43 isn't high like it used to be in my early 20's when I could have fucked a flower pot and I had a great love with my late partner but I wonder if I can ever find someone like him again and I would hate to grow old alone. Part of it comes from seeing my dad hemiparalytic from a huge hemorrhagic stroke and seeing how my mom took care of him. These thoughts make me stay awake at night and seriously think what I will do past 50 if I don't find another partner like my late lover.

R132 - so how do you get off? How do you like your dick pleasured?

Would a woman be just as good for you?

R133 - what makes men so much better: the quality of the hole, the way they smell, your increased arousal, the way they respond... ?

Nah a woman wouldn't make me as insane as a man. As far as a blow job or fucking...2nd best. Obviously, I would tell her. But by then, would it count as much? I want a friend, travel companion and someone to talk to and love...the best would be another man like my later partner...as for women, she would have to be someone very cool with my sexuality. I don't really know. I just have a lot of things to share besides sex and want to grow old next to someone.

R135 - yes, smell and increased arousal. I like friction and energy with men. I think women are also beautiful...particularly kind and modest ones...a few I met are adorable like dolls and it's cool to pleasure them. Ultimately, there is an insane desire to feel the energy of fucking another man. I guess as I grow older if I don't find another man, I could be with a woman provided we understand each other. Neither would I lie about my past or preferences put of respect for her, me, and most importantly for my late partner.

R136 - why do men make you insane?

Doesn't seem fair to her - sex is the most important thing in relationships for most women and men, even when you're old.

R138 - I think the idea of that much testosterone in the room and their smell and the energy. I would NOT lie to anyone, male or female. It is what it is. If they are cool with it, ok. If not, that is also as it is.

I am mid 50s still have sex, mostly with younger guys who like a Daddy fucking them. Yes, you must be a top for the most part, although every now and then you will find a younger top. Very few guys my age seem interested in hooking up with someone their own age, I am guilty of this too. These are not relationships, just sex. I try to keep connected to the handful of friends my age on other levels which kind of balances everything. There are many single people of all orientations over 50 so I try not to blame being gay for my lack of a partner. I think on a subliminal level I don't want one because of the commitment and compromise involed I am basically having a good time in life and cannot complain. I am blessed for good health which is the most important.

Gay men old should retire, make way for young men who have the stamina.

R140- Perhaps 75% of gay men are bottoms. It's hard at times for even young bottoms to find a top.

I’m a year shy of 50. Have always been in exceptional shape (my workouts are my meditation) but certainly heavier than I was in my 20s. My partner and I have been together 18 years and shockingly, for me at least because I used to be a flake, it gets better every year. The one thing we don’t have that we should is a group of friends. We live in NYC and so many of our friends have moved away. Before COVID,we occasionally hung out with this group of bear guys in the city but that got weird - we both would get hit on and once they know we werent interested, they’d stop talking to us.

But we’re happy as can be by keeping it simple. We have a big rent stabilized apt that we will never leave unless we move away. We cook a lot. Go to the pub in our neighborhood on saturdays where we hang with a nice group of regulars. Travel up to Maine and Cape Cod a lot - we’re actually thinking of retiring somewhere up there (suggestions? Portland? Providence? Lower Cape Cod?)

I’m just shocked at how fast my prime years flew by. My only advice would be to save save save your money. I made a fuck ton of money in my 30s until just a few years ago. I saved but could’ve saved a lot more. Im looking at a career change now (grad school) and kicking myself in the ass for not being more responsible around that. Thankfully my husband can def pay more of the bills.

Anyway, yeah - save your money. It makes the existential angst of dealing with aging a little less angsty.

All of my single friends over 30 are extremely selfish narcissists. They do not realize it. Some have had relationships, but feel they were “too good” for their partners and some never had serious relationships.

My partner and I find it hard to make new gay friends. It seems that gay guys always expect you to sleep with them, and after a few outings things get weird when you won’t. All of our gay friends (there are only a handful) are friends we have had for many years.

[quote]I'm 62 in fairly good shape but most people say I look 'late 40s'......

If that's the first thing you have to say, there's your answer to anything that mystifies you.

I'm 50 and although I still enjoy sex, I've found that intimacy is a far greater priority for me. My BF and I have both.

I feel mentally 60 in some ways because I had such a precocious youth, so my awareness feels a bit older, if that makes sense (just culturally, that I remember things that maybe most kids didn't from the 70s.)

R86: "tony"

Oh, dear.

R102: "TONY" "TONY" Tony" Tony"

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh. dear. Oh, fucking dear.

R116: "tony"

Oh, dear.

Oh, DREAR.

per Merriam-Webster -

ton·​ey less common spelling of TONY : marked by an aristocratic or high-toned manner or style tony private schools

... but I agree, 'tony' looks weird

Tony! Toni! Toné! has done it again

This thread makes me as angry as a slow cooker!

R122 there's no way a man who uses the word dear isn't an insufferable bottom

R152 There's no way a man who disparages another man for saying "dear" with terms like "insufferable bottom" isn't a raging cunt. I hope yours falls off.

Friends are really tough as you get older. As someone above said, 75% of my group moved away. Some had kids. Easy to get complacent with a partner - but very dangerous as you forget they just die and life goes on. Keep friends - work at it.

Insufferable bottom says what? R153

Girls! Girls! You're both lonely, friendless, unfuckable cunts!

Speaking of which, has anyone mentioned weed and the benefits of staying stoned as you get older? Helps with aches and pains, and makes everything and everyone less awful. It is a vital tool for survival, especially edibles. Martinis are nice too.

Seems like it might be a benefit to some in this thread.

I love my edibles at 62. Helps with aches and pains AND mood. It’s not like your college days where it just wrecks you. Not for me anyway, you can even decide what kind of high you want - sativa or indica (energetic or mellow). Check it out.

I'm 58 and unexpectedly became partnered after about a decade of being single and several years dealing with colorectal cancer. As someone mentioned up thread, cancer changes (almost) everything. I care less about material things, what other people think, have little use for drama, and am grateful for whatever time I have left. So, I'm not really concerned with how I dress or behave at "gay venues". It's liberating. He's 62 and lives on the other coast. We hope to retire together in a few years, but the COVID-19 pandemic has shifted our retirement location away from places like Palm Springs, where the activity is focused on socializing (drinking) with other eldergays around a pool. Now we're trying to figure out where to live that's liberal, and not prone to wildfires or blizzards.

[Quote] Don’t focus on your gayness

This.

[quote] I'm 58 and unexpectedly became partnered...... He's 62 and lives on the other coast.

Are you really partnered or just internet pals? How often do you see each other living at different coasts?

I'm 55 years old and my EGO still needs to be fed. I still like getting checked out or flirted with in a store but that RARELY happens nowadays. Sigh.

[quote]I'm 58 and unexpectedly became partnered

Was surprise anal involved?

Lived in gay cities for 20 years. Moved to a red state small city at 41. Been here 10 years. Not one cares a whit what I look like. Not involved in minimal gay scene. Met my husband. Happy as a clam.

R164 Good for you! More details, please. How did you meet?

Yes, R164 - more details. I'm 40. What city did you move from and what little red state small town paradise did you find. I would love to live somewhere cheaper with hot guys and less pressure to look hot.

r161 -- we met randomly on a beach in Mexico almost two years ago. We've Skyped, texted, and called several times a day since Mexico, just like a pair of pimply tweens. We've managed to see each other 7 times so far, and sort of alternate coasts. We did not see each other for five months -- that was profoundly depressing -- during shelter in place and have taken the risk of flying, but with masks (of course), face shields, and plenty of hand sanitizer. JetBlue blocks middle seats, boards and de-planes from back to front. Both of our employers test for COVID-19 every other week. So far, so good.

r163 -- ROFLMAO! Have been on DL for a LONG time. Yes, it was surprise anal while eating Dragon Cheese, Claire's Bread Pudding (I hate that cane-faced bitch. And then she died in a grease fire), Celebration Cak, and then went once around the garden with the cubefrauen. If you require further verificatia, just dial the phone with a pencil. And yes, I type fat from my mother's basement.

R167 - why wouldn't you guys move closer or see each other more often?

Are you guys fucking other people regularly?

And can you explain that last paragraph for DL newbies?

I just took up indoor cultivation this year, r158, and it's been surprisingly rewarding. I figured if I'm going to live a quiet, homebound life until normality resumes, I'm doing it with with some quality weed. Just pulled my second harvest and I'm already growing better flower than anything for sale around here.

My biggest gripe with getting older (48) is that I find the vast majority of people I encounter to be tiresome, predictable, and usually shady.

I'm 58 and I have no hope for being partnered or even finding a boyfriend

Unless....

I become successful financially.

I'm not saying I'd get the real deal but I'd get someone who'd be with my boyfriend and we'd make it work.

I get lonely.

My best friend, much younger and straight, killed himself. I felt for sure he was going to put me in a home someday. He loved me that much.

My mom died earlier this year. Sibs and I are spread over the country, not close.

COVID hasn't let me grieve properly.

I need to put my affairs in order in case I get COVID and die. Or die from something else.

Life really does go by quickly.

EVERYONE I know says oh, you're such a great guy; you should be with someone.

I should look into anti depressants; they're take down Mr. Happy, but so what.

R170- Why do you have NO hope to meet someone?

I'm 55 and I still have hope that I'll meet someone someday.

R171 thanks, but I'm looking at 60 in less than two years and except for time-wasting unrequited one-way relationships, I haven't had anything.

honestly, I just want to die tonight.

and when I get to heaven I want to be reunited with my parents and not just any fucking reunion. I want my dad who WAS IN THE MILITARY to dress up as a fireman or a sports team mascot and surprise me and I can let out a plaintive wail like all those little kids in the videos do....

I guess aging well as a gay man in one's 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond can often be determined by money. No surprise there.

And maybe bring educated or at least somewhat educated, so one can entertain oneself if mostly or exclusively alone, with lots of reading and other curiosities other than just drugs and drinking.

I'm thinking weed and the gym are the answer building blocks to happiness. These 2 things never let me down and I hope they won't when I am 50 & up.

don't forget masturbating every third day!

I'm masturbating 3 times a day R175

No low libido with aging ?

57. Will state that most of the sex I am having is with "boys" (25 to 40) who want Daddy to top them - and its my pleasure. And while NEVER being much of a looker when I was younger, I have been gobsmacked by the number of guys who are openly flirting with me since I turned 50 or so. I am NOT good looking in the GQ sense - bald, bearded, dad bod - but guys do hit on me when I am in a gay-friendly environment. Nice, but where were you guys when I was younger and could go all night and then some?. One of the most intriguing things I have discovered that as I have aged I have become quite a verbal dom - love telling my boy what to do, training him, having him pleasing me. Some boys do melt for a verbal dad. I do love guys my own age, but most I have encountered seem more interested in knowing how much I have saved for retirement (just enough, I think) if I own my house (I do) or if I plan to move to Palm Springs (I don't drink anymore, so I may have to look elsewhere) before I shove my dick in their mouth. Kind of a turnoff. Battled depression most of my adult life with a good deal of success with meds and talk therapy when needed, and I do every now and then have backslides into the dark - COVID and the current cultural clime certainly have been a challenge. I have found that exercise is key to keeping the "little black dog at bay" and that's a hard thing to do having never been a jock or sports enthusiast. I am hardly a gym bunny but I admire a hard furry dad when I encounter one at the treadmill. I have found that a good deal of friends my age are talking openly about their loneliness. Having dealt with caretaking of some older relatives, I have learned that staying in touch and having a few close friends does help and I do make a point to ALWAYS reach out to friends I haven't heard from in a bit and touch base to listen and kvetch. Before all this COVID crapola, I had a stable of 5 regular FBs - now its mostly my left hand. Truly sucks.

Last year the NYT published an article about an overweight woman in her 50's who never found MR. RIGHT and never got married so she decided to have a wedding of sorts to her male dog. The NYT published the photos from her wedding. The article also said that she was dying from cancer.

It sounds like a situation a over 50 GAY male would be in.

The woman's name was Lilly Smartelli.

I bet Lily was also a wonderful fag hag ❤️

I guess I am the odd one out. I am 56, been in a relationship for 25 years not married but that wasn't a choice back then. Sex is very, very rare the last few years but we still sleep in the same bed, cuddle some times, kiss each other every day and lots of hugs and touching every day so that makes me happy. I think I will work until I drop dead, I am in a creative field and I am just blow away with all the things you can do on a computer you couldn't do 20 years ago. I never seem to be board, quite the opposite I get fascinated with one thing and suddenly I wonder if I could make a career out of it. There's so many thing I wish I had time to learn. If there's a secret, that's probably it, stay engaged in new things and fallow what interests you.

I turned HIV positive more than 25 years ago just before I met my partner only a year after coming out. I was supposed to die. He was told not to date me, he would be wasting his time. All these years later I am alive and we love each other more than most straight couples I know. I see guys my age moan and grown about life and getting old and wanting to off them self and it really just pisses me off. They take life for granted. I feel lucky to be alive and lucky I have my health, and lucky I have a partner who loves me. None of which have to do with wealth, looks or age.

Everyone needs something to believe in. For me it was the creative process and trying new things. Keep that flame going and it will keep the whole house warm. I can honestly say I am genuinely happy most days of the week. Being an old bitter queen is not something I want to aspire to.

Good advice R182. I chose my career based on money and have never had a fulfilling day at work ever. It’s pure survival. I would love to quit but at 50, I need to save have enough for retirement first. I have learned to live simply to maximize savings but it seems that saving enough to have a secure retirement is almost impossible. At some point, I will just have to take my chances and quit - because dying while working this job would be such a horrible life.

^ Work to live not live to work.

R178 Dear Penthouse Forum you won't believe this but...

R176 , I masterbate 18 times day

Double that on weekends so that’s more than you

Curious if anyone has tried testosterone replacement therapy.

R182 - it's not cool for your partner to not have sex with you very often! You gotta tell him it's a problem.

Are you guys exclusive?

R182 is either a frau, a troll, or the dullest human being on earth.

R189 is a chronically bitter nihilist

[r168] We live 2,600 miles apart which makes it hard to see each other more often. We must remain in our respective jobs for a few more years until we can retire and live together, so we can't move now.

For your second question: No. I'm bad at hookups to begin with, and then there's COVID. And I have an enviable collection of dildos and lubes, which take up most of my free time.

I could not possibly explain my last paragraph; you'd have to have been there, it was Datalounge's heyday, c.1998.

I’m mid 50s and finding this one of the best points of my life.

I’m long-time partnered and about to hang up my career. Having the ability to walk away is freeing (the situation at work has been deteriorating...insanely toxic). Now I will be able to focus on my passions. Maybe that will lead to paid employment...or not.

Over the last few years I haven’t been generating as much flirting and stares of appreciation as I used to and am surprised to discover it is refreshing. I actually found that perceptions of my looks often complicated relationships (in my prime, I was often told by dates to shut up and sit there and be pretty and I also was hit on a lot by friends while partnered). Who needs that crap? I want to connect on a more substantial level.

So I’m excited about the coming years. Is that crazy?

R192 - I would criticize your humble-brag about your good looks, except I can relate to you. Having been a young man pursued solely for my looks, now that I’m 50 and out of the “competition game,” I’m much more stress free and relaxed.

Humble brag Jr ^

Yeah, I wondered whether to mention that but I think it’s especially relevant to our community where so much is sexualized and based on looks. “Relaxed” is a good word, R193.

And I’m frankly relieved that I’m not more upset about the ravages of time (I know people say this, but I do come across as younger than I am because of genetics, sun avoidance and my high energy...go ahead, attack me...but I’m grayer and have more lines on my face.) I braced myself for an upsetting aging process but it’s been no big deal and I’m not fighting it and find people who do fight it a little sad.

I’ve even put on a little weight since the pandemic (I’d been skinny before and it’s just like 10 lbs) and it’s a relief to not be so body-conscious.

Humble brag Sr ^

I'm in my early 50's and I'm not particularly interested in making new gays friends or retiring in some sort of gay community. Sure, I want to be in a gay-accepting area, but there's so much monotony in only having gay friends.

I am now in my 50s and delighted to say that I am more beautiful and alluring than ever. I am usually confused for a 16 year old (or perhaps I am confused that I am a 16 year old, so hard to tell) but despite my gorgeous looks and my phenomenal body that makes people, even blind ones, stop in their tracks, I would never go on Datalounge to brag about it because that would be unseemly and not in keeping with my beautiful and charming personality which rivals my looks and my body.

At the beginning of February I was at my health food store waiting at the food counter and this slim tall good looking guy about 32 years old was checking me out. I admit it made my day, especially at 55 years old I can't expect anyone to notice me anymore.

R199,

You probably had a booger hanging out of your nose.

In my mid-50's and I've been tracking down my old FBs from the last 20 years or so. Amazing how much attraction is still there.

I'm 99, and this hot 87 year old was checking me out yesterday.

No more PnP

Story about about a 55 gay man in today's NYTimes...

R204 - thank you for the link to that lovely article 😊

Can’t read

R204, what a romantic read. Thank you, I thoroughly enjoyed this lovely story.

Now back to the joys of hearing about being 55 but looking like and/or being pursued by a 32 year old.

A sure sign that you are not aging well is trying to deny that you are in fact aging,

Most of us here are like fine wine

[quote] totally ok with being me

That's all well and good but you're boring the fuck outta me, Mary

Anyone had plastic surgery ? I want my eye bags done

R208- I wasn't PURSUED by him I was CHECKED OUT. He stared at me TWICE at the deli counter. I should also mention the fact that I was still ONLY 54 years old back in February so maybe that helped my curb appeal then.

[quote]Having been a young man pursued solely for my looks, now that I’m 50 and out of the “competition game,” I’m much more stress free and relaxed.

Being good looking is SOOOOOO stressful.

[quote] I want to be in a gay-accepting area, but there's so much monotony in only having gay friends

You are the company you keep. Perhaps its you who is so monotonous.

I'm 55 with a sexy younger husband and I rarely want to mess around. Tired at night. Not a morning person. I really better pick up the pace.

R215 - try getting testosterone injections

Damn, R10 your husband died and you remarried again within a year? You work fast

I'm 57, and I have no fucking idea how old I look, but probably not too bad considering I have kept slim and fit and stayed out of the sun for the most part. Also helps I dont drink hardly at all and never smoked

Why are so many men on this thread under the impression that we are all gathered here to learn how they look?

R219 - why is there sand in your vagina?

Because I had sex on the beach, R220.

R221 - sounds like you need more sex. You're crabby as hell.

R221 - Lol I’d love to know how many decades ago you actually had sex on the beach, if ever.

I'm 55 and I feel that my life ended about 10 years ago. Right now all I seem to do is deal with work and family issues ( an aging father with health problems) and little else. I don't see a bright future, I won't be sitting on the veranda with my loving spouse, kids and grand kids, I don't even have a pet. Yes i know gays can have all of the above but it just never happened for me. How to survive is up to you, the question for me personally is, do I want to survive.

R222/R223: the posters above who are 71 but look 28 😂

I don't doubt that a lot of you were gorgeous back in the day. Gay men are just hotter than everyone else in their prime. It's always shocking to see peoples photos from when they were young and then see them now. Sometimes older men love to scroll through photos of them young, proudly showing them off if you are just striking up a chat back in the days when bars existed. There is this one bar where the bartenders are older, but these same men were like the hottest guys in the room back in the 80's based on the photos and stories other patrons say. Time is a bitch. At 40, I'm scared of 50, and 40 is not young. I'm hoping to stay natural. I have been an avid gym goer and athlete my entire life, so I hope that helps. Some friends started preventative botox at 25 but I won't do it.

[quote] Why are so many men on this thread under the impression that we are all gathered here to learn how they look?

Because it's the only thing some of these sad bitches ever valued.

In the winter of 1996 I was with my father at Fairway- it's a supermarket in Manhattan. We were waiting in line to pay for our items when I noticed a man in another check out line looking me up and down. He was buying two house plants and looked about 42 years old. I was 30 years old at the time and was flattered by this guy scanning me up and down but 42 years old was a bit OVER THE HILL to me then. Today I'm 55 years old. I would LOVE to be 42 years old. I would also LOVED to have some guy scan me up and down- that hasn't happened in YEARS.

R226, What’s wrong with a little Botox? It’s one of the few tools we have to prevent getting wrinkles. If you don’t overdo it, no one knows you’ve had it done. It wears off in a few months anyway.

Nothing at all wrong with it R229. Once you go botox, you can't go back. I've seen people, especially in the initial lockdown days that look worse off when having to skip the botox.Like every other DLer, everyone says I look barely legal.

Seriously, I'm just trying to hold off and I'm scared of fucking with my face. What if it doesn't come out right? With these "uncertain times", I don't want my face to depend on an expensive regime in the event I lose my job or go broke and can't afford the treatments. I feel good about myself now, but the clock is ticking for sure.

I’m in my late 30s and have been doing Botox for several years. I do it every 9 months or so. It wears off after about 5 for me. When it wears off, I look exactly the same, but I can move my facial muscles more. I don’t have wrinkles now, but I’ve read it can prevent getting them later. Don’t be afraid of it, R230.

At 49, I night I’d try something cosmetic. Did Botox - good doctor. Looked horrible - just dropped my eyelids and made me look worse - with a weird absence of movement where there should be some. Lesson learned - age naturally. Also, trying to make yourself look young again is a black hole that can suck in your money and self esteem.

Live and let live. I think what scared me off was how terrible Andy Cohen looked when NYC was in lockdown and he hadn't had both treatments. His face looked like it was melting.

Imagine David Muir.

Almost 50 and terrified to admit you are gay.

R:192 thanks for sharing that. Similar to the other DLer further down I’m about to turn 40 and a little worried about what happens when the looks go within the next decade or so. Shallow I know but when you’re used to things being a certain way and you’ve never known anything else your whole adult life it’s a little daunting . (Insert ‘shit you might have to develop a personality’ comment here) It’s refreshing to read a positive experience of when looks do fade a bit.

R230: you can get Botox ‘lite’ (i.e smaller doses/fewer injections) which doesn’t last as long as full Botox but the advantage is it won’t change your face drastically, it’ll just subtly iron out your wrinkles a bit. I used to think it was like a cork plugging a hole in a damn and the longer you kept the cork in (getting the Botox) the more the damn filled up (wrinkles) and if you take the cork out, bam you age overnight back to what you’d look like if you never had the Botox. It’s more a case of it delaying the ageing process though a bit.

You've got to be old with money because to be old without it is just too awful, you've got to be one or the other, either young or with money, you can't be old and without it. - That's the truth, Brick.

R237 Dignity and a working brain trump all.

You guys loading your face with botox have no idea how doomed and tragic you look

R239 - Absolutely agree. It’s a train wreck. These gay guys that load up with Botox must be doing it for themselves, because it simply is not attractive. There’s nothing wrong with rugged men over 40.

Any man with botox over 40 is just an old queen. Nothing attractive at all.

Children, children , children. My mother use to tell me all the time that you need to have children in your life. They are always present, in the moment, and that's right where a man alone should. I have lots of nieces and nephews- the oldest is 40 and the youngest is being delivered in January. They have made me a far better adult and man. I hate being lonely too. I am 55. I look about ten years younger. I come from a large Catholic family. I am an attorney- my dream since I was 9 years old. I have a excellent circle of friends and family. And being an uncle is the best part of me. I get to give, to get , to learn, and to move on. I also get to be a role model. Most gay men I have known have taken pride in being gay, but little else. That's an accident of birth. Being an uncle that's a gift. I wish dating was as pleasing. I decided a year ago that I would quit dating unless I was asked. It was a huge burden that gave me more time to be present in my own life and less time worrying about who will find me hot. Usually when that happens I am the Daddy, the Dom. I never knew such submissive men before. And the sex is ok. Hey at least I can still get it while it last. Meanwhile Sondheim feel in love with the love of his life at 60. So there is still hope. Be positive. Be happy with yourself. Nothing external is ever going to make you as happy as that.

R242 - While I agree with some of your post and I like the sentiment, in terms of again, EVERYONE knows that children age you drastically. Perhaps not as an uncle, but it seems like my friends aged overnight the minute they had kids.

R40 I feel the same way except my husband is 12 yrs older and has severe heart disease, I'm 55 and don't know if I could go on.

(R62) The person toying with the idea of gay senior retirement communities. I think that Palm Springs and other places have evolved on their own to retirement centers for gays. After the retirement community comes the nursing home and nobody much cares who is in the next room (trust me I have experience with hip replacements and assisted living situations, Frankly, I think that any gay couple could move into any retirement community. Just like all your neighbors aren't gay in suburbia. It sounds like a good idea at first, but after thinking it over it is bound to have a lot of turnover due to death and illness.

I was thinking more of a gay community with a focus on single men as the primary resident. I'd like to see some gay communities and private gay upscale gay social clubs. It seems very hard to do upscale gay clubs. The only example I can think of is The Academy in SF. Maybe there isn't a want for it. Gym, bar, programming a few nights a week, curated dinners.

There are lots of older gays with money R246. I think the thing is, they don't want to spend it on going out bars at that age. I went to an event by invite a coupe years ago, all the men were much older like almost retired so not my thing but I was impressed with their gathering. They did monthly wine tasting at some pretty fancy places usually renting out an entire room so it was all gay men. And everyone was dressed up and well groomed. Some were singles some were couples. Purely a social thing. It was kind of invite only so no random strangers or disruptive freaks.

Sounds cool, R247. How did you get on the invite list?

Older gay men and wines tastings in a nice setting are a lot of fun, at least the couple I attended.

R248 - I sucked an old wrinkly dick and stale balls, but the surf & turf and Caymus was worth it.

The perfect song for this thread

Men who inject filler and botox into their face give off pedo vibes

Loon who can’t afford botox ^

R253 Sure, Botoxed Jan

Join a gym. I enjoy the social aspect of seeing other people (I’m home alone 90% of the time.) And also go early in the morning when the serious bodybuilders go. Then casually ask him a question about a certain way to lift. They absolutely love being able to show off their skills and knowledge. I once had one offer to spot me and his shorts brushed my neck.

Bless your heart r255

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly! Although it looks like many of you are way ahead of me on that.

I’m 64, and have a group of friends I love more than any sex partner I’ve ever had.