I'm Barbara Bush, centre diamond, of course. All these women will hate me by the end of the first season, and I'll be fired by the end of the second because nobody will work with me anymore.
Let's be the Real Housewives of the Oval Office
|by Anonymous||reply 107||Last Tuesday at 1:56 PM|
Secret Service for the glory holes?
|by Anonymous||reply 1||10/15/2020|
"You'll either love me or hate me; there is no in between with me."
|by Anonymous||reply 2||10/15/2020|
I'm Betty Ford. I spend my first season getting wasted in every episode. I go to rehab in between seasons, and return a judgmental teetotaler and alienate the rest of the cast.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||10/15/2020|
I'm, I'm, uh..................... I'm Pat Nixon............. I think.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||10/15/2020|
The moon is in Sagittarius, so I must be Nancy Reagan. Oh, fuck, Ronny, you're drooling again.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||10/15/2020|
Thank god Rosalynn Carter is a good woman, because goddamn she can’t dress at all! I’m ashamed to be seen with her sometimes, I’m gonna be honest. I get a headache talking about Rosalynn’s clothes. Do you have an Excedrin or a Tylenol?
|by Anonymous||reply 6||10/15/2020|
I'm Nancy's cock-sucking past, which is the talk of the town and is rumoured to have been put in "the blogs" by Bar.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||10/15/2020|
I'm the main cast of the first two seasons of Barbara, Nancy, Rosalynn, Betty and Pat. Karen: you will never hold a diamond!
|by Anonymous||reply 8||10/15/2020|
Karen Pence is the Kim G. of the Oval Office Housewives.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||10/15/2020|
I may not be a queen ... but my name rhymes with it!
|by Anonymous||reply 10||10/15/2020|
If you can't stand one's heat, get out of one's kitchen!
|by Anonymous||reply 11||10/15/2020|
When you look this good, who needs foundation undergarments?
|by Anonymous||reply 12||10/15/2020|
I'm Mary Todd and Melania, the new blood on the scene after Betty and Ba-ba were fired.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||10/15/2020|
And I'm also Baba's return at a later date, which coincides with Laura Bush joining the show. I terrorize Laura for at least five seasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||10/15/2020|
I'm Jane Wyman. I'm the first wife and a lady, and was the first lady of my big nighttime show that ran for the length of my first husband's presidency. I may not have given the fabulous dinner parties or been tempted to steal the china when it was all over, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that my ex-husband preferred the wine they made in the Tuscany Valley. He didn't know it was a fictional place.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||10/15/2020|
I’m Hillary and I need to know where that cat is...
|by Anonymous||reply 16||10/15/2020|
I'm Michelle. I'm the first African-American Real Housewife of the Oval Office.
Whenever I make the smallest mistake, Barbara tells everyone else that I'm "ghetto" or "hood." At least that's what Laura tells me.
Melania doesn't think my husband was born in the United States, but won't say it to my face.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||10/15/2020|
I'm Melania and that old beetch Bar Bush keeps telling me to go wash my poosey. It's stinking up the place .
|by Anonymous||reply 18||10/15/2020|
I'm Nancy Davis Reagan , which of You bitches keeps stealing my cucumber From my bedside table .
|by Anonymous||reply 19||10/15/2020|
I'm Nancy Reagan calling Barbara Bush on speaker phone to discuss...
Barbara's horrible pussy odor
"Barbara, let's face it - your stank pussy is the reason George threw up on the Japanese Prime Minister!"
"I couldn't invite you for lunch to discuss this for obvious reasons..."
|by Anonymous||reply 20||Last Friday at 12:44 AM|
I'm Pat, fired after the fourth season because I keep forgetting to show up to filming. Michelle is my replacement, to my horror.
I'm also Baba and Nancy, the last remaining original cast-members who can't decide if they hate each other more than they hate Melania, Laura and Michelle. They are united on one thing: nobody wants that cunt Hilary on the show!
|by Anonymous||reply 21||Last Friday at 6:18 AM|
I'm Hillary's senatorial spinoff.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||Last Friday at 6:23 AM|
It got ugly at the reunion when Nancy called George Bush a wimp and Barbara lunged at her. Betty Ford tried to restrain Bar and got shoved back into the couch for her troubles.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||Last Friday at 6:24 AM|
Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my cankles!
|by Anonymous||reply 24||Last Friday at 6:26 AM|
I'm the lesbian rumors about Eleanor Roosevelt that Lou Hoover spreads behind her back.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||Last Friday at 6:28 AM|
What mincing little queen should host the reunion show ?
|by Anonymous||reply 26||Last Friday at 6:30 AM|
When they go low ... I have a skillet of hot grease on speed dial!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||Last Friday at 6:31 AM|
[quote]What mincing little queen should host the reunion show ?
Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA)
|by Anonymous||reply 28||Last Friday at 6:32 AM|
So nasty and so rude!
|by Anonymous||reply 29||Last Friday at 6:33 AM|
Hillary’s friendship with Melania was ruined when she called her husband a “a damn bitch who gets into women’s business” to his face at Nancy’s charity benefit.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||Last Friday at 6:34 AM|
Speak softly ... and carry a sharp hatpin!
|by Anonymous||reply 31||Last Friday at 6:35 AM|
That scene in the back of the limo when Betty Ford screamed “YOU STOLE MY GODDAMNED HOUSE” at Rosalynn is ICONIC.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||Last Friday at 6:38 AM|
"You're [italic]both[/italic] white trash, quite frankly."
|by Anonymous||reply 33||Last Friday at 6:43 AM|
"They sent a [bold]FAMILY VAAAAAAAAAAN[/bold]!!!"
|by Anonymous||reply 34||Last Friday at 6:46 AM|
I'm the Cindy Barshop!
|by Anonymous||reply 35||Last Friday at 6:56 AM|
Old Lady Gang? There's a NEW gurl in town!
|by Anonymous||reply 36||Last Friday at 7:06 AM|
NOT WELL, BITCH
|by Anonymous||reply 37||Last Friday at 7:42 AM|
I am one of the many beloved veterans of stage, screen and TV who play first ladies in the TV mini-series "Back Stairs to the White House". We are all giggling about poor Cloris Leachman who is stuck playing a housekeeper that nobody likes. Even though she presented me with my Oscar, I can't help but giggle.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||Last Friday at 7:49 AM|
Eileen, dear, that's "Back Stairs AT the White House". We are not looking for the way Eleanor's mistresses got in!
|by Anonymous||reply 39||Last Friday at 7:51 AM|
"I can tell you when she will die and what will happen to her family. I love that about me."
|by Anonymous||reply 40||Last Friday at 7:55 AM|
Yeah, Mamie, I got with your man—what of it?
|by Anonymous||reply 41||Last Friday at 8:00 AM|
Bonnets WILL be snatched tonight!
|by Anonymous||reply 42||Last Friday at 8:09 AM|
Mooney kent buy yoo kless, mah frindz
|by Anonymous||reply 43||Last Friday at 8:18 AM|
R42 That looks like George in drag!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||Last Friday at 8:18 AM|
"Vot am I, chopped liver?" - Ivana trump: Novelist, Proud Mother, and One and Only Real Virst Letty 45.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||Last Friday at 8:19 AM|
R45 Martha's hair in R42 looks better than your rats nest!
|by Anonymous||reply 46||Last Friday at 8:22 AM|
"See? Am best!"
|by Anonymous||reply 47||Last Friday at 8:23 AM|
I em zee coorant Vairst Letty. I show poossee for late night TV. Is good, yes?
|by Anonymous||reply 48||Last Friday at 8:27 AM|
I repeat postings from uzzer people, but like green jecket say about cheeldrens in metal boxes: I no caring, is you?
|by Anonymous||reply 49||Last Friday at 8:31 AM|
Ivana in R47 looks like a giant blood clot.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||Last Friday at 8:32 AM|
I'm the Leeanne Locken!
|by Anonymous||reply 51||Last Friday at 8:57 AM|
"Behind every man in a drooling, semi-vegetative state due to a massive stroke is a power-drunk woman!"
|by Anonymous||reply 52||Last Friday at 9:11 AM|
I'm the main cast of Barbara, Nancy, Laura, Michelle and Melania. We are collectively outraged by these new bitches Martha, Edith and Hilary. Rumor has it Barbara and Nancy think Edith is "pernicious".
|by Anonymous||reply 53||Last Friday at 9:16 AM|
Also, you're still not getting a diamond heffer! r35
|by Anonymous||reply 54||Last Friday at 9:17 AM|
When I'm behind the wheel, get the HELL outta my way!
|by Anonymous||reply 55||Last Friday at 9:19 AM|
Barbara will insist on making duck stuffed with oatmeal.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||Last Friday at 9:22 AM|
I'm Rosalynn and Pat, thinking about writing a book about our time on the show - if only Pat could remember her name!
|by Anonymous||reply 57||Last Friday at 9:23 AM|
If yew cain't say somethin' nice ... GO PLANT A TREE!
|by Anonymous||reply 58||Last Friday at 9:46 AM|
I'm Bess Truman, and I fucked off to Independence before filming started. Andy Cohen can take my contract and stick it up his puckered poohole!
|by Anonymous||reply 59||Last Friday at 9:56 AM|
R58 wins my love
|by Anonymous||reply 60||Last Friday at 9:56 AM|
It's ironic that I typed in "Ugliest first lady of the U.S.", and there were three rows of pictures of Melania.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||Last Friday at 9:58 AM|
I'm the Tres Amigas! WOO-HOO!
|by Anonymous||reply 62||Last Friday at 10:02 AM|
I'm the PROSTI-TOOSHEN HOOOOORE!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||Last Friday at 10:04 AM|
THAT'S NOT MY DOILY, YOU FUCKING BITCH!
|by Anonymous||reply 64||Last Friday at 10:07 AM|
You're an insignificant arse hair.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||Last Friday at 10:11 AM|
"Who gon' check me, boo?"
|by Anonymous||reply 66||Last Friday at 10:20 AM|
Ah'm Miz Lillian, and Ah fell in the pool after a few too many nips of "nerve medicine."
|by Anonymous||reply 67||Last Friday at 10:24 AM|
I'm Marian Robinson, and Miz Lillian seems to be laboring under the assumption that I'm her home health aide.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||Last Friday at 10:27 AM|
I'm Martha Jefferson. I love my husband because he plays the violin. He's also very nice to our slaves.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||Last Friday at 10:28 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 70||Last Friday at 11:57 AM|
I'm all of the first ladies giggling except Hillary about how the oval office was changed to the oral office during Bill's term.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||Last Friday at 12:01 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 72||Last Friday at 12:30 PM|
I'm Melania, and everybody is sick of my shit. I'm fired and replaced by the certifiable Mary Todd, who makes Baba, Laura and Nancy look sane. Michelle and Hilary are keeping their distance.
Edith and Abigail stopped showing up to filming because it was desegregated.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||Last Friday at 12:36 PM|
I'm Ladybird Johnson and I always do it nice!
|by Anonymous||reply 74||Last Friday at 12:37 PM|
I'm the wag in production who typed a chyron for tonight's WWHL special guest reading "Monica Lewinsky, Oval Orifice."
|by Anonymous||reply 75||Last Friday at 12:42 PM|
I'm the Watch What Crappens parody featuring a soused Betty Ford trying to follow Lou Hoover's mangled sign language.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||Last Friday at 12:47 PM|
I'm the three strand pearl choker that was Barb's signature look. You could find copies of me in the "Barbara Bush Collection" by Kenneth Lane on QVC
|by Anonymous||reply 77||Last Friday at 12:48 PM|
Lemme tell youse about my fambly!
|by Anonymous||reply 78||Last Friday at 1:04 PM|
That frigid sow called me a SLUT PIG!
|by Anonymous||reply 79||Last Friday at 1:29 PM|
I’m Laura Bush, storming off the reunion set when Melania’s nudes are brought up.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||Last Friday at 1:35 PM|
You're such a fucking liar, Melania!
|by Anonymous||reply 81||Last Friday at 1:36 PM|
You don’t know if your baby daddy will be an ax murderer or a child molester. What you WILL know is that he needed $10 to get him a medium-size pizza, so he ejaculated in a cup so you could have a kid. Now check THAT!
|by Anonymous||reply 82||Last Friday at 1:42 PM|
I am a VERY. RICH. BITCH.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||Last Friday at 1:47 PM|
[bold]YOU ARE A DUMB HOE[/bold]
|by Anonymous||reply 84||Last Friday at 1:49 PM|
Yoo-hoo! Do you girls mind if I sit and dish a bit? I brought a bottle of Bailey's.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||Last Friday at 1:57 PM|
Close your legs to married men!
|by Anonymous||reply 86||Last Friday at 1:58 PM|
Don't be tardy for the party!
|by Anonymous||reply 87||Last Friday at 2:01 PM|
I’m Mrs Kennedy in a bind. Should the complimentary Air Force One cigarettes be Salems or Marlboros?
|by Anonymous||reply 88||Last Friday at 2:03 PM|
OH NO YOU DIDN'T!
|by Anonymous||reply 89||Last Friday at 2:10 PM|
Damn, Rosalynn Carter has some ugly kids
|by Anonymous||reply 90||Last Friday at 2:16 PM|
I’m the broken wineglass thrown by Nancy Reagan in Amsterdam at Betty Ford when Betty drunkenly snarled “let’s talk about the husband” at Nancy.
Pat Nixon fled through a side door after the fight , in tears.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||Last Friday at 2:27 PM|
I’m Melania’s Lyme Disease. It’s why she doesn’t do any work.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||Last Friday at 2:29 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 93||Last Friday at 2:32 PM|
"Did you know? $25,000."
|by Anonymous||reply 94||Last Friday at 3:13 PM|
Be cool. Don't be all, like... uncool.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||Last Friday at 3:15 PM|
"I’m still here, and I’m still fabulous. Fabulous. Gone with the Wind fabulous."
|by Anonymous||reply 96||Last Friday at 3:26 PM|
"I'm up here, you're down there."
|by Anonymous||reply 97||Last Friday at 3:35 PM|
Geez, Mrs. Taft at R95 looks like a seriously depressed influencer taking a choker selfie.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||Last Friday at 3:38 PM|
I'm Frances Cleveland, and I'm making an appearance because I know that the DL resident Frances Cleveland troll would like to see me!
|by Anonymous||reply 99||Last Friday at 3:48 PM|
^ Honey, she STAYS doped up on paregoric.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||Last Friday at 3:48 PM|
I'm Mary Todd.
I'll blow your mind.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||Last Friday at 3:53 PM|
I'm the low-key scandal when it's learned that Jackie and Gianni Agnelli are spending a lot of time together in Italy. I'm also jaws dropping to the floor all over DC when she sends a military plane back to Washington to retrieve her diaphram!
|by Anonymous||reply 102||Last Friday at 3:56 PM|
Fuck you, Dolley Medeson!
I don kare if you risked your life seving that pikture of George Washing from the burnin Whit Hous
I'm teking that fuckin' pikture wit me when I leef this plece...
Even if I heff to walk out with it squezed betwin my butt chicks
|by Anonymous||reply 103||Last Friday at 4:36 PM|
You haf to make the millins to owe the millins.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||Last Saturday at 2:12 PM|
I'm Billary Clinton. I was almost first lady.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||Last Tuesday at 11:48 AM|
Say vat u vant, Im still Cuntess
|by Anonymous||reply 106||Last Tuesday at 12:02 PM|
"Oh! You're Melania Trump! The morally corrupt Melania Trump! I saw your nude photos on the internet!"
|by Anonymous||reply 107||Last Tuesday at 1:56 PM|