Let's be a Cocktail Party in the large home of a wealthy Republican mortgage broker

I’m the carpet burn on Nancy Reagan’s knees.

I'm the Viagra, bottom shelf behind the prescription Xanax.

I promise to not tell anyone about the double-headed dildo in the dresser drawer. Whoops - did I say THAT? I get excited easily.

I'm the animal porn collection locked downstairs. I'm in HD! BAA'AAAA'AAAAAHH!!

I'm the male server being eyed by the host.

I am the Lesbian in her 1998 Subaru Outback with a COEXIST bumper sticker ready to act like a Lesbian Republican!

I’m the household phone book in the tall boy secretary that contains Jeff Epstein’s private home number.

I’m the “Let Them Eat Cake” sign over the fireplace, that everyone looks to when the conversation drifts to the need for a new Covid Relief Plan.

I’m the butch power dyke in attendance.

I am the black domestic who, though yelled at in private, is referred to as "practically one of the family" during social gatherings. I regularly jerk off onto your food.

I'm the Caterer being stiffed for the bill because the repug wife was "not satisfied".

I'm the trickle charger hooked up to the maroon Bentley in which the unsatisfied repub wife is finally satisfied by the 6'6" black busboy.

I'm the gay cocktail server paying my way through university from the tips I get from the dried up old women I flirt shamelessly with all evening. They write their phone numbers on large bills and stuff them into my pockets. Some of their husbands do the same thing.

I'm the wife. Though my most recent facelift hasn't settled yet, the breast enhancement and tummy tuck I got last summer make me look amazing!! Everyone says I look 35 and I'm really 65!

r14 ??????

I hang my head in shame at the epic fail of my Sure Jan post. It is what I deserve for co-opting someone else's bit...

Gathering grease and matches as I type...

I'm his greedy hands being rubbed together in total selfish abandon regarding today's bleak economic climate, anticipating one ill-gotten gain after another!

I'm Teddy, the son, Junior at Brown, and I'm fucking the woke daughter of a famous Hollywood liberal movie star, and I've been running with that crowd for 2 years. Fantastic drugs. I pretend to dislike my parents but 3 years from now when I have my MBA I'll be singing a different tune. Tonight, I'm fucking my gf in the ass in the pool boat house. She's a freak. She wants me to seduce this MILF at the party to join us.

I'm Teddy's sister, Muffy. I'm daddy's girl. If you know what I mean. Wink, wink. Let's just say Teddy calls me Ivanka when he wants to embarrass me in front of my friends.

I'm Muffy's gynecologist. She's had two abortions in the last two years, but her parents have paid me a shitload of money to keep them off the books.

I'm Muffy's gynecologist's receptionist. I've been secretly blackmailing both Muffy and her father for three years. I give all the money to my bf, who likes to fuck me in the ass in a pool house of all places...

I'm the golf clubs in the back of the Land Rover Discovery in the garage.