Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

BREAKING!!! EXTREMELY FAT CHRIS CHRISTIE DRIVES SELF TO HOSPITAL - Fast Food Joint's sales spike along route!

"I just received word that I am positive for COVID-19," Christie wrote. "I want to thank all of my friends and colleagues who have reached out to ask how I was feeling in the last day or two. I will be receiving medical attention today and will keep the necessary folks apprised of my condition."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 48October 4, 2020 7:38 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1October 3, 2020 10:25 PM

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2October 3, 2020 10:26 PM

We're sending thoughts, prayers and cheeseburgers!

by Anonymousreply 3October 3, 2020 10:30 PM

Must be nice to just check into the hospital just to be safe!

by Anonymousreply 4October 3, 2020 10:30 PM

I think he knows he's going down and fast. I got a feeling in my bones he's gonna get hit hard. My bones are never wrong!

by Anonymousreply 5October 3, 2020 10:32 PM

No worries Chris. If you die we'll just have a backhoe dig a deep hole on the beach and roll you into it and cover you with sand. Earth to earth, and all that.

by Anonymousreply 6October 3, 2020 10:33 PM

Ghouliani will outlive them all.

by Anonymousreply 7October 3, 2020 10:39 PM

Happier and Slimmer times.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 8October 3, 2020 10:40 PM

Do they have a Cinnabon in the hospital? Asking for a friend

by Anonymousreply 9October 3, 2020 10:42 PM

I could forgive the speech impediment and maybe even the politics. But those thighs.

by Anonymousreply 10October 3, 2020 10:42 PM

OMG. This weekend's news is crazy, WTF!

by Anonymousreply 11October 3, 2020 10:43 PM

Morbidly obese!

by Anonymousreply 12October 3, 2020 10:48 PM

[quote]Ghouliani will outlive them all.

God, if you are listening...

by Anonymousreply 13October 3, 2020 10:51 PM

oh, that lil nothing gonna be fine. Nothing that a couple of boxes o' Star Crunches cain't fix!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14October 3, 2020 11:00 PM

[quote]I could forgive the speech impediment and maybe even the politics. But those thighs.

Those thighs?

What about that GUNT? That FUPA?

by Anonymousreply 15October 3, 2020 11:07 PM

That FRONTBUTT?

by Anonymousreply 16October 3, 2020 11:10 PM

Is he mainlining high fructose corn syrup? How can you eat that much to maintain that weight? This might be a karmic sling shot for blocking that bridge s few years back. He knows a thing or two about causing intentional suffering. Mercury is getting ready to go retrograde in 10 days and doesn’t end until exactly Election Day. Strange days we are living in.

by Anonymousreply 17October 3, 2020 11:14 PM

Lest we forget this little gem...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 18October 3, 2020 11:15 PM

That is one meaty [italic]mons veneris[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 19October 3, 2020 11:17 PM

[quote]Is he mainlining high fructose corn syrup?

It's in his IV drip now.

by Anonymousreply 20October 3, 2020 11:24 PM

Underlying, overeating conditions. He makes Trump looks like Darfur Orphan.

by Anonymousreply 21October 3, 2020 11:33 PM

Dr Brix,

Tell us, is it true that Covid-19 really loves to sink its teeth into a meaty GUNT/FUPA?

by Anonymousreply 22October 3, 2020 11:34 PM

Fat Fatty always bragged, "I was a jock!"

(Yeah, summo wrestling is a sport.)

by Anonymousreply 23October 3, 2020 11:57 PM

I LIKE FAT GUNTS AND I CANNOT LIE

by Anonymousreply 24October 4, 2020 1:32 AM

[quote]"...and will keep the necessary folks apprised of my condition."

Who the fuck does he think gives a rat's ass about his condition? He's not a government official, and he probably isn't even on Trump's campaign payroll!

Go away you fat loser, you're stinking up the joint!

by Anonymousreply 25October 4, 2020 1:55 AM

I feel sorry for wife Mary Pat, having to sleep next to him. A radio host calls him "Shamu."

by Anonymousreply 26October 4, 2020 2:17 AM

R14 girl with the straw hat already has a double chin.

by Anonymousreply 27October 4, 2020 2:19 AM

Can we PLEASE stop fat shaming Chris Chistie? He already has enough on his plate.

by Anonymousreply 28October 4, 2020 7:19 AM

[quote]Can we PLEASE stop fat shaming Chris Christie? He already has enough on his plate.

And the weight of all this isn't helping him...

And can we go back to fat-shaming Chrissy Metz

Hmmm, I wonder if Chrissy is butch enough to play him in the TV Movie about this...

"Mother May I Eat with Corona" (still brainstorming the title)

by Anonymousreply 29October 4, 2020 12:38 PM

I heard they're going close down the George Washington bridge

and all the NJ area Taco Bell drive-thrus

to honor Chris Christie

by Anonymousreply 30October 4, 2020 12:44 PM

Is he dead yet?

by Anonymousreply 31October 4, 2020 12:47 PM

Thoughts and prayers to the hospital kitchen workers.

by Anonymousreply 32October 4, 2020 12:50 PM

for all those that make fun of ANYONE that is overweight. I know someone who had the perfect body and made fun of all those that had even a few extra pounds. He just always thought it was so funny. Guess what, he is now larger than any of the ones he had teased had ever been. 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚

by Anonymousreply 33October 4, 2020 12:51 PM

[Quote] He already has enough on his plate.

I see what you did there!

by Anonymousreply 34October 4, 2020 12:55 PM

Best headline of the week!!

by Anonymousreply 35October 4, 2020 1:09 PM

Apparently, the hospital forklift was not available.

by Anonymousreply 36October 4, 2020 1:24 PM

[Quote] for all those that make fun of ANYONE that is overweight.

We’re making fun of specifically because he’s fat AND pure evil

by Anonymousreply 37October 4, 2020 4:22 PM

I have trouble believing that the would have checked him into the hospital out of an abundance of caution.

They do not want anyone in the hospital with Covid who is managing their symptoms fine because they don't want them infecting anyone needlessly.

Additionally, they don't need Christie risking getting some staph infection or the regular flu while in the hospital.

He's probably on oxygen as well and who knows what else.

by Anonymousreply 38October 4, 2020 4:31 PM

[quote]I have trouble believing that the would have checked him into the hospital out of an abundance of caution

How about an abundance of rice pudding?

by Anonymousreply 39October 4, 2020 4:36 PM

I think he does a good job as a commentator on ABCs This Week.

by Anonymousreply 40October 4, 2020 4:49 PM

hahahah r39 is why I love DL

by Anonymousreply 41October 4, 2020 4:50 PM

In what county is Krispy Kreme General located?

by Anonymousreply 42October 4, 2020 4:53 PM

[quote] Must be nice to just check into the hospital just to be safe!

In the American healthcare system people can do that - no waiting. It’s nice to be able to do that if you are concerned you may have a serious medical issue.

by Anonymousreply 43October 4, 2020 6:21 PM

Retweet: “Christie gave Trump one piece of advice as debate coach: “People who overcome stuttering have a harder time maintaining their train of thought when interrupted. Keep interrupting him and he’ll stumble when he tries to speak. This will enforce the ‘senile’ narrative.”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 44October 4, 2020 6:26 PM

Breaking! Christie moved to Intensive Cake Unit!!

by Anonymousreply 45October 4, 2020 7:05 PM

link ?

by Anonymousreply 46October 4, 2020 7:08 PM

Just because Shannan liked to share their lives on Facebook doesn't mean she deserved to be killed.

by Anonymousreply 47October 4, 2020 7:34 PM

R45, you got me. I started googling intensive care...

by Anonymousreply 48October 4, 2020 7:38 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!