R249, are you OK? Or are you having some tough times right now? I’m genuinely asking and I’m asking in the spirit of kindness. Zero snark. We’ve all been going through tons of shit for the last 4 years, and it’s been rough for many of us out here. I get it.
Look, I agreed with everything you wrote, while responding to another post and the poster of the post, upthread. I understand that I’m looking at it from a myopic perspective, and I admitted as much.
Shannann did NOT deserve to die and Chris Watts is 100 % responsible for what he did to his family. There was absolutely no reason to kill her, and he should have walked away instead.
What I was pointing out is that Shannann knew her husband wanted out. He had repeatedly asked her for a separation, and she repeatedly ignored his feelings, and stayed with a man who was going through the motions. I understand being desperate to hang on to someone. I did it too, with better results than she did, obviously.
The hardest thing in the world to do, is walking away from someone you still love. I did it after I returned from my sabbatical, and he immediately met someone else, knocked her up, and married her, and went on to make her miserable, just like he had me. A shame, too, because she’s a great gal.
Getting pregnant again y a man who wants out and has been begging you to agree to a divorce, isn’t a great way to resolve marital issues. And I got lucky that it didn’t happen to me, as my asshole was actually slipping off his condom when we had sex. I have no idea why men do that sort of shit, but it’s not always the woman, and that could have been the case here, too.
This whole thing was a disaster. What I’m saying is that when your husband tells you he wants out, you need to listen to him and understand why. Either you ask him to work on the marriage, and see how that goes, and if there are improvements, you continue to check in with each other, and make sure you’re both still on the same page, and if at any point you’re not, you have no choice to but to end things, children or no children.
I’m not blaming Shannann for her own murder, for chrissakes, however, I am saying that we need to be realistic and honest with ourselves when our very own partners aren’t, and walk away.
I took a HUGE financial hit when I descended into relapse and depression at the end of my crappy relationship, btw. One that I’m still struggling with and attempting to overcome, so I know there’s a price to pay when putting yourself first, because putting yourself first doesn’t always mean you get to walk away, without a scratch. I walked away with MANY scratches, and while I no longer GAF about him, the aftermath wrecked me, and I’m still picking up the pieces from that time in my life.
Never again. I refuse to become an unhappy cynic and not be in another relationship where someone truly loves me, however, I will never allow myself to become as desperate to keep someone in my life like that, ever again.