Random thoughts about celebrities

How very dare you!

If Ella Fitzgerald married Allen Funt, she'd be an Ella Funt.

Rue McClanahan would have made a fun aunt.

I would have been game for Florence.

Friends do call me Cheryl. Seriously.

Kristy McNichol had the talent to have a Jodie Foster-like career.

If I were trapped in a cabin by snow, I’d want to be trapped with Jeff Goldblum, as long as there’s a piano and a Scrabble game.

I was watching a 90s documentary about the British royal family. They were hosting a polo match at Windsor. The narrator said there were a host of big name celebrities in attendance. They showed Stefanie Powers in the crowd and moved on.

By the way, she seems British. I knew she lived in Africa, a very British thing to do. Then I found out she's from Hollywood.

I’d like to see Macy Gray cast as the lead in an original film musical.

Sometimes I can imagine Linda Lavin as a Datalounger and it makes me happy.

I miss Donna Summer. She really was great.

I wanted to be Peggy Lipton but I have more in common with Peggy Hill.

I want to have a cigarette with Camilla Parker Bowles. A Pall Mall or a Parliament, of course. Or maybe a Winston...

I can never look at Ann Miller without imagining a giant, puffy, overgrown black bush between her legs. I do not know why, I do not know how it started, but whenever she comes up on TCM, I have to change the channel because, to me, Ann Miller equals big, puffy public jungle.

I wouldn’t be able to tell Ann Miller and Kitty Carlisle apart, but I’m a very bad gay.

Kitty had better clothes

And, likely, a smaller bush

"Kristy McNichol had the talent to have a Jodie Foster-like career."

She'd probably have preferred a Jodie Foster-lick career...

Emilio Estevez was technically an attractive guy, but he always seemed like he'd smell like some sort of luncheon meat.

Fúck you OP.

It's always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

R13 Ann Miller was part Native American, so likely did not have lots of hair down there. I hope this provides you with some relief to your distress.

R20, so Cher also doesn’t have a big bush?

Why do we always end up discussing the pubic hair of actresses?

I do not have as much respect for Dolly Parton as I used to.

Jennifer Aniston is a star only because of a hairstyle and an inability to keep a husband.

OP - Kudos to a great, entertaining, and I think original thread! A new variation on an old idea.

And funny how brothers Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen look nothing alike, yet are both spitting images of their father, Martin Sheen.

Judy Holliday, Marilyn Monroe, and Madelyn Kahn were great comediennes because their sadness was just barely beneath the surface.

[quote]R23 I do not have as much respect for Dolly Parton as I used to.

Neither do I, after reading Linda Ronstadt’s book.

Parton screwed her and Emmylou Zaharia over on the third album, after swearing she’d behave.

David Cassidy and Freddie Mercury sound exactly alike, aside from when Freddie went high. Listen to Good Old Fashioned Loverboy and tell me it doesn't sound like The Partridge Family.

I will always hate Buddy Ebsen for fucking over Nancy Kulp when she ran for Congress.

Michael Ball has a really thick dick.

For some reason Madeleine Stowe gives me angst- - she was the like the starlet that WOULD NOT DIE. I got so sick of seeing her get chance after chance after chance for decades.

Finally she got a hit when she went crawling to TV with her tail between her legs.

I wish I could have gone shopping with Kitty Carlisle in a New York City department store in the 1960s. We'd ride down the escalator then catch a cab tomeet with Arlene Francis and Dorothy Kilgallen for a light lunch at Sardi's but mainly just to gossip. I would have some juicy news about Nan Kempner and Babe Paley. Sadly this was all way before my time.

I wish Tom Cruise would retire.

Remember back in the 90s when everybody had phone machines? I always wanted to date Jason Gould just so I could be in his apartment when his mother would call and leave a message.

In the Father of the Bride movies, Diane Keaton and Steve Martin have Jeeps. But why is Diane always the one driving them around? The Steve Martin character doesn't seem like the kind of guy to have his wife drive him around.

If I had been a lesbian instead of a gayling in the 80s I would have found Geena Davis irresistible.

Barbara Feldon has very nice handwriting.

Drew Barrymore is a one-note actress, but I’d like to be friends with her. She seems like a genuinely sweet person.

For whatever reason, I can’t stand the way Rose Byrne’s face looks.

My partner hates Jena Malone and wonders how she has a career. I don’t mind her; she plays interesting roles and I like that (Antebellum, Hunger Games Catching Fire).

They’re not worthy of the attention that you people keep giving them.

If Barbra Streisand toured in the 1970s and 1980s like other artists her voice would have been gone by the late 1980s instead of around 2001.

I worry about Meredith Baxter's career on a nearly weekly basis (maybe every 10 days or so). I'm 40 and have worried about her career since 'Family Ties' ended when I was nine years old. Sure, she was the Lifetime queen for awhile, but then there was the alcoholism, the coming out, etc. I think that psychologically, I wanted my mother to be more like the character Elyse Keaton. So I transferred that unfulfilled wish to worrying about Ms. Baxter-Birney. I'll see myself out to speak to my therapist.

I imagine she’s fine. She has a decent pension, I’d think, from doing so much TV.

If I could be any celebrity, I would be Kiernan Shipka, because of her youth, the clothes, and all the gay boys.

Plus, who doesn't want to be named Kiernan Shipka?

It's like Ish Kabibble, but prettier.

People always said Winona stole Mermaids away from Cher but I actually loved Cher and thought she was the best thing in the movie.

I love actors who project a certain warmth but those who project a ton of neediness just put me off. I could never really stand Brittany Murphy for that reason (sorry guys) and even Gilda Radner, someone who was clearly very talented and could be very funny, was somewhat offputting to me again because she was so damn needy.

And r41’s post really gave me a good laugh. Do you know the last two seasons of FT she was the highest paid woman on television?

R43 I also love KS.

R 18: I don’t know why but it just makes so much sense that Emilio smells like ..... hillshire farm pastrami. But then what does Charlie Sheen smell like ? Old puckles come to mind

R 28: whenever David Cassidy is mentioned I think of the following : Someonr at his deathbed (maybe a daughter ) reported that David said, “I wasted so much time.”

'Do the Right Thing' was an incredibly accomplished film for Spike Lee to make at such a young age.

If Joan's ungrateful, spiteful, lying adopted daughter Christina had never written a book with all those made up stories would Joan Crawford still be remembered and loved today nearly 50 years after her passing?

R44, R41 here...I feel better about MBB now that I know she made so much $$$ towards the end of 'FT'. I wonder if it was in their contracts that she and Michael Gross made more than Michael J. Fox?

R49 Is Mommie Dearest had never been written would Faye Dunaway still have an acting career?

Will Arnett looks like he'd either be a lazy couple of thrusts fuck, or a jack rabbit. I can't decide which.

Did celebrity couples fart in front of each other?

Has Taylor Swift ever let anyone blow their load on her face?

What would it take to entice the Brothers Sprouse to fuck each other?

Rose Byrne has the smallest, weirdest ears I've ever seen. Google them and you'll surely see what I mean.

When Roseanne first began airing in 1988, I read that Sara Gilbert was Melissa Gilbert's sister (no mention of adoption) and thought she must be the actress who played Becky, who I thought looked a lot like Half-Pint.

If I recall correctly, it took me awhile, maybe a year, to figure out my mistake.

Tyra Banks seems fake as fuck. There's just something I do not like about her.

I've heard Linda Blair is a complete bitch to her fans at those autograph conventions. I'd like to meet her anyway to see how she'd act towards me.

Anna Nicole Smith probably would've had the most entertaining social media accounts if she was still alive.

[quote]R56 Tyra Banks seems fake as fuck. There's just something I do not like about her.

Tyrant has this weird ability to seamlessly make any encounter about herself. It’s almost hard to pinpoint when she shifts...

I like the fun, carefree, silly Paris Hilton more than the deep, serious, documentary making one we have now.

J.J. Abrams and Sarah Michelle Cellar have the same parrot nose.

I hope that Joyce Bulifant can revive her career.

*Gellar

Damn autocorrect!

Does Jake Gyllenhaal wake up with a boner? Same for Alex Skarsgard.

Jane Withers should be a DL icon. She has had a long and varied career in radio, movies and TV. On the game show "Win, Lose or Draw" with Bert Convy, she was a panic. I bet she's still fun to be around, even at 97.

R48 Excuse me? I was the youngest person (24) and the first African-American to be nominated for Best Director. For a little film called Boyz N The Hood, my first film. Also miss nominated for best original screenplay

R53 Taylor Swift is gay and bearding (loooooong list of gay/bi male beards in her history—references to men in her songs are actually about Dianna Agron or Karlie Kloss), but in one of her songs she talked about wearing you like a necklace meaning legs around her head as she goes down on a woman. So we at least know she’s into that.

I miss Sian Barbara Allen and her moving portrayals of the mentally disabled.

I still can't get over the fact that Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey both went on to win Oscars after starring in a movie like Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. Renee won not only once, but twice.

If Faye Dunaway were to finally embrace Mommie Dearest and get a sense of humor (and maybe at least attempt treat her mental disorders), she could possibly have one of the greatest 3rd act careers of all time.

If Mama Cass had shared that sandwich with me...

Every Friday a get an overwhelming urge to know more about Kate Jackson

If I were Truman Capote, while writing "In Cold Blood," I would've been down to get fucked by Richard "Dick" Hickock, not that little Perry Smith. Capote flirted with the wrong killer. And then, years later, I would have told EVERYONE at Studio 54.

I really miss Richard Simmons. There has never been any celeb truly like him. I hope he's still alive, and that he is ok.

R61 what’s a parrot nose? I just know it has teally weird angles , can look quite good from some and just hideous in others.

Although the “good” ones were likely just very airbrushed, but stilll....

Marcia Cross really would make a very attractive lesbian.

Why can't Paul Rudd get a decent role? He needs to quit playing the Mr. Boring White Nice guy.

R78 he’s Jax a crazy good run. That’s not someone I feel sorry for.

And r41 she benefitted from a favored nation clause and MJF becoming a huge star. By the last season she was making 120k an episode. She should be thanking him for life. Gross was an unknown he didn’t have that.

I think it would have been funny if Ashton had taken up with Rumer after he dumped Demi. The fallout woulf have been spectacular.

I also wonder if the Willis girls still speak to Ashton, and call him MOD (my other dad). I always found that name cringeworthy.

Jennifer Aniston and Maura Tierney should play sisters in something.

I wonder what Janis Joplin '80s albums would've sounded like had she survived and assuming she kept doing music. I also wonder if she would've kept the whole hippie image and if not, what appearances she would've had instead.

I'd like to watch Brian Tyler Cohen having hot monkey sex.

Since she often plays the same character type, I can only hope Jane Krakowski is like that in person, cause I bet she is hysterical to hang out with.

Who does Jake Gyllenhaal fantasize about when he is masturbating??

Not Maggie 🤮

Barry Gibb is a genius.

Had Victoria Principal stayed on 'Dallas', would we have been gifted with the broad range of Principal Secret skincare products? And would she be a millionaire? Same for Suzanne Somers if she hadn't been fired from 'Three's Company'. And how the hell did Dame Joan Collins not properly cash in on her Alexis persona?!?

R70 Renee has been such a hard worker. She is tireless.

"Old puckles come to mind"

Charlie Sheen's old puckles make my mussy moist!

It totally doesn't but that sentence is like poetry.

The poetry of suicidal mental patient.

How does Chrissy Metz really feel about looking like a fat suit?

Was Ruth Gordon's first husband, Gregory Kelly, gay?

That is so true, R39. I never thought Dolly Parton would disappoint me but here I am.

WEHT Faith Hill? Mrs Tim McGraw?

If you yanked Jim Palmers pants off in the 80's, would he be wearing Jockey Elance Briefs in Fashion Colors?

Maybe Kelly Clarkson isn't a lesbian, she's just fat.

Noah Reid from Schitt’s Creek often resembles Uncle Fester yet I’ve never had the urge to orally pleasure the Addams Family character

It is reluctantly occurring to me that Faye Dunaway may well die at some point.

In fact, she may be dead now.

Jim Hutton was a talented, sexy man who died way too young.

[quote] Hutton was expelled from five high schools and a boarding school due to behavior problems

I bet he was a tiger in the sack!

I would have loved to have Julia Child at a party. She really was a helluva broad -in the best sense of the word.

I have mentioned this on dl before r101, my (gay) father was friends with her. they used to get a bit snockered and gossip and cook. he liked her.

R94, Carrie Underwood happened to Faith Hill. Country only usually has room for one blonde superstar, and so the torch was passed to Carrie. Now that Kelsea Ballerini whore seems to be jockeying for it, but she doesn't really have the voice or charisma (and her name is silly). Miranda Lambert tried for the crown, but word got out she was stealing songs from Kacey Musgrave, *who had written said songs*. Miranda got everything she deserved, including the divorce from Blake. But I digress...Faith was succeeded by Carrie. And Kacey is in a whole 'nother league, writing her own songs and crossing over.

R99 literally the only thing I ever saw him in was that One Day at a Time episode which was so nauseating...they had so many men fall for her like she was the hottest thing ever and I mean WTF?

And yes I get the whole “Easy” thing but even then you have to be at least borderline attractive not a pockmarked freak show.

I wonder what Snooki, the Octomom, and Casey Anthony are doing for money.

If Tipper Gore married George W. Bush instead of Al Gore her name would be Tipper Bush.

R105 supposedly Anthony is now living with either one of her lawyers or an investigator that worked with her lawyers (can't remember which) Very Claudine Longet -ish.

Who murdered Bob Crane?

Did Jaclyn Smith ever get that MRI?

[quote]Rose Byrne has the smallest, weirdest ears I've ever seen. Google them and you'll surely see what I mean.

All the callous sophisticates laughed at Judy's tiny ears.

Did David Carradine cum before he auto-asphyxiated, or after?

Does Suzanne Somers actually wear her three-way poncho, and, if so, does she wear it all three ways?

I've heard she goes both ways, but nothing confirmed about threesomes.

The poncho is usually over her head, as her titays are suckled.

I find Keri Russell inexplicably and horribly unappealing. I can't watch anything with her in it, it's like watching cardboard. Her blandness is actually offensive.

I feel the same way about Michael Douglas but for different reasons. Too smarmy.

( R115) I feel the same way about Reese Witherspoon, Tom Cruise and RDJ ( after Ironman went to his head).

It would be a fitting twist if Madonna withdraws from society and spends her remaining years in a convent.

R13 , Tap dancing naked on your face .

R61: But it's better to have a parrot nose than a penis nose.

I know a very old butch dyke in NOLA who said ELLEN WAS A CUNT.

Did Angela Lansbury and Bea Arthur ever bump pussies?

I find myself oddly attracted to Jerry Falwell Jr. Especially after that pic of him with his pants undone.

I need to convince myself that Elizabeth Moss is playing the long game and is actively involved in infiltrating Scientology to be able to destroy it from the inside. She will be eventually be known as the woman who brought down one of the biggest most powerful cults of all time. Tom Cruise will die in the process and become a martyr to the true believers who get away and hide in exile.

Moss is talented but not that bright

R123 Moss was born into into Scientology. She is not a convent so there goes your theory.

R124, R125 “Need to convince myself...”

June Lockhart is still alive!

I met Parker Posey in a bar once in the Castro and she was an absolute delight. I wonder where she's drinking these days of Covid?

Sometimes I wonder about the Miss America winners. Do they go on to live good lives or rotten ones? And what about the ones who came in last? What did they do?

Was JonBenet really happy with her Christmas gifts that year?

If Conrad Twitty married Kitty Carlisle she would have been Kitty Twitty

I wonder what Heather O'Rourke would've thought about the Poltergeist remake.

Joyce Randolph is still alive.

R133 so is Peter Marshall.

So is Dick Van Dyke.

Helen’s still goin’ strong... that old battle axe.

Helen Highwater?

Yes! I think Magdalena Montezuma’s GONE once and for all, thank The Goddess.

R77 would have?

Letch Feely made me the man I am today.

Tom Hanks is the walking talking epitome of the Baby Boomer generation.

Youth will be served!

I don't care what his bio says. 60's TV star Ross Martin was definitely born either Ross Martinez or Ross Martino. I'm not so sure about the "Ross" either.

Who the fuck cares, R143?

R129 My good friend’s mother won Miss America in the 60s and is still lovely, funny and doing well!

I wish I went to a Penny Marshall/Carrie Fisher joint birthday party.

R143, a simple Google search shows that Ross Martin was Polish and was born Martin Rosenblatt.

Is Kate Jackson the one behind the Fridays Kate Jackson thread?

Was anyone else disappointed to find out that LilHuddy was white?

Does Portia ever eat ELLEN'S Pussy ?

Will Paul Rudd ever do a hot nude scene and show his dick?

Too fattening r151.

L149 LOL huh? Fun question. But hey, Kate Jackson is a DL favorite. And she obviously has quite a number of fans on here. And we LOVE to talk Kate! IF she ever comes to check this forum I do hope she only gets to see the nice talk. Not the nasty stuff...!

Okay try again: R149 LOL huh? Fun question. But hey, Kate Jackson is a DL favorite. And she obviously has quite a number of fans on here. And we LOVE to talk Kate! IF she ever comes to check this forum I do hope she only gets to see the nice talk. Not the nasty stuff...!

Joan Cusack has to be one of the quirkiest actors out there. I wonder what she is like in person.

I wonder if Barbra Streisand is still planning her film version of Gypsy.

I wonder how Dolly Parton got the reputation of being so open and honest considering how much she lies.

R156 I agree, which makes her uneven, but when the performance hits, it hits hard and can be very powerful, especially if it’s about the vulnerability and fragility behind the quirk.

Which male celebrities sit down to pee?

How would Mame have fared if DL icon Vivian Vance starred in it?

It would have sucked just as much, R161. Lucy was miscast and couldn't sing, but the whole movie was a clunker. Hopelessly old-fashioned.

There’s currently a bit of gossip on Nana Mouskouri’s Wikipedia page: “Although music series such as hers were becoming less common on British TV as the 1970s wore on, the BBC continued to engage her regularly for one-off television specials and guest appearances on other programmes until the mid-1980s, by which time she had been a regular contributor to British TV for more than 20 years. Meanwhile, during the 1970s and 1980s, she expanded her concert tour to include her new fans, not only in the United Kingdom, but also in Ireland, New Zealand, Japan and Australia, where she met and rooted Frank Hardy, who followed her to the south of France in 1976.”

I hate that I wasn’t deflowered by Shaun Cassidy in the back of a van.

How many times a week does Babs visit her mall?

[quote]R163 There’s currently a bit of gossip on Nana Mouskouri’s Wikipedia page

WHO?

If Ruta Lee married one-hit wonder singer Lou Bega(Mambo No. 5), her name would be Ruta Bega.

I finally got to see THE HEIRESS and now love the DL meme even more.

[quote]R168 I [bold]finally [/bold]got to see THE HEIRESS...

[Quote]Joan Cusack has to be one of the quirkiest actors out there. I wonder what she is like in person.

She's a cunt.

I think Billy Porter probably has bad breath.

Actually, he doesn't, R171. Minty fresh!

With very minimal talent Matt Damon sure has done very well for himself.

God, I wish I could have dinner with Stephen Fry!

You probably won't get a chance to have a go at the food, R174. But you will be regaled with the company of very, VERY young boys.

I would dine well, at any rate!

Which ones do you think are into ABDL play?

I had no clue until recently that Keith Morrison the dateline guy was Matthew Perrys stepfather.

[quote] It would have sucked just as much, [R161]. Lucy was miscast and couldn't sing, but the whole movie was a clunker. Hopelessly old-fashioned.

The sort of movie that was in vogue at the time now seems equally if not more old-fashioned for different reasons through 2020 eyes.

I just learned that Lenny Kravitz mother play the wife in the interracial couple on the Jeffersons.

R180, I had a name, cunt.

I did, too, R180. And they call ME a dumb honky!

David Cassidy swung both ways. So skinny and androgynous in Partridge Family. He performed at the gay Market Days in Chicago toward the end and had to be carried out of Sidetrack as he was shitfaced drunk and belligerent. Sad case.

Ted Cassidy was kind of hot in his Lurch makeup, but he wasn't very attractive at all otherwise.

I would really love to put some laxative in one of Jon Hamm's many beers.

I just learned that a song writer calling Lee Majors chatting with Farah inspired the song Midnight Train to Georgia. She said she was flying back home on a midnight plane to Houston. He wrote the song. Gladys didn’t like planes and was from Georgia, so it was changed.

Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run Ins A to Z book has been really disappointing and boring; not at all like her stand up comedy. The best piece of gossip is that Jon Hamm was a complete asshole to her and whispered something mean in her ear at a gathering even though he hadn’t met her before, which seems to confirm what kind of a person he is. The rest of the run-ins are boring as hell.

Which other celebs are featured, R187? Could you tell another one of her anecdotes (even a boring one)? I'm suddenly super curious and don't want to pay money for a bad book so pls disappoint me.

R187 I think they did know each other beforehand because he asked her what she was doing there. Then he got even more drunk & rude:

Mike Pence is a total prick.

[quote]Mike Pence is a total prick.

Who will never be able to say, "No flies on me!"

I want to fuck Randy Rainbow. Is that wrong?

Garth Brooks looks like he loses 20 IQ points the minute he puts on a cowboy hat.

I bet Ben Barnes' cum tastes like clotted cream.

R194 It'd be lovely to "have Ben for tea"

Kelly Ripa's pussy must smell like rancid broccoli.

DTM seems like he is asexual, even though he has a boyfriend.

I'm in love with Sandi Toksvig.

ripa is going to retire?

If Cass Elliot had managed to stay alive she would be a rival of Oprah.

Did Benji have fleas?

Did Steve Jobs have a big dick?

(R202) does it really matter now? I know he was one.

If Erik Estrada were a woman, she would have an exceptionally stinky pussy.

Every young, attractive male celebrity is secretly gay, and hung like a horse.

If he's married, it's a sham.

If he has a girlfriend, she's a beard.

If he has kids, they were the result of a turkey baster and a test tube.

Cum guzzling whores, ever last one of them.

I always thought Tom Baker was the ugliest Doctor Who, but for some reason he seems like he’d also have a huge horse cock.

(R205) I agree, supposedly every other male star has a big one. They wish. Why would it matter when most of them are arrogant alcoholic cokeheads.

This has been talked about (ad nauseam) in several threads. I side with those who say Hollywood stars tend to be endowed larger than average, as that's part of the natural selection process. Well-hung guys tend to be confident and outgoing. They are popular on the casting couch. When word gets out you have a big dick, Hollywood takes note and you get work. On film as well, sometimes... ;)

(R208) 😂😂😂😂 Natural Selection??? Confident and Outgoing. Are you for real? Is this Jon Hamm? Are you drunk already. Of course, you are.

R206 Watch Pasolini's The Decameron - you get to see Tom Baker's cock!

Will Tim Cook ever get Apple to make an iPhone-controlled sex toy?? The i-Dildo or the Apple-Jack?

[Quote] or the Apple-Jack?

I hope they don't call it that.

I thought Apple-Jack was rather catchy. Would you have preferred the i-Cum?

One of the best stories in Kathy Griffin‘s book is when she encounters Josh Groban at one of his concerts. He had a bunch of girl groupies waiting for him and most of them were dogs. When Kathy questioned his taste in women, Josh replied “Kathy, this cock isn’t going to suck itself.” Love that story. I wouldn’t mind servicing him. He’s sexy in a weird sort of way

Eccch

I’d like to ride along with one of the celebs who has qualified as a pilot. Harrison Ford, John Travolta, and Angelina Jolie all fly. I can’t imagine a conversation we’d ever be able to have but if I could just sit there and fly along and decide whether or not they looked like their pictures that’d be cool.