Nelly, but closeted

OP, how old is he?

This guy I went to college with. He was soooo gay. He had to have been. But he wasn't. He even had sex with girls. He was cute too. In retrospect, I should have made a move at some point.

Yes, OP, one of my teachers. He was so nelly (think Mr. Humphries from are you being) and was married to a fat woman and had three fat daughters.

My 50+ uncle is the same. Trim yet the wife is pudgy and overweight. They have two kids in university.

I don't understand

Sho have.

I call it a mental closet - they've closed themselves off from the possibility for so many years or have never thought about why they feel different.

It happens a lot.

It's brave to be gay - because there's a lot of shit that goes with it. Even to this day. We're all glad that we're not getting beat up everywhere and fired - but it's hardly wide open arms for homosexuals.

Ohhhh...you meant Nelly the black rapper and not a flaming “nelly” who is fem and delicate.

Like r8 said - OP needs to turn off the ac and sing "It's getting hot in here! So let's take off our clothes!"

He'll be wearing a band-aid on his face soon enough - but for the right reasons, if you know what I mean.

OP i’m sure your coworker feels closest to the Lord when his legs are up in the air.

I married my college sweetheart.

Jesus Nelly Christ! What did Hollywood do to Luke Bryan?!?

Nope. Never.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Yes. Mentioned it before on another thread. Two friends of mine from high school have been together for 16 years now or so. The girl had never had a boyfriend. The guy was obviously gay and he also admitted as much at 16. Turned out his father couldn’t accept it so he “burned the bridges behind him” he told us two years later. He started dating my female friend, they have kids now, they have had all kinds of relationship problems, they hardly ever have sex, she’s financially depended of him. They’re living unhappily ever after. It’s quite sad really. I remember when she got pregnant for the first time. she said I really can’t imagine him being a father to a boy, he’s so feminine. I hope it’s a girl. He is feminine but that still doesn’t mean he can’t be a good father to a boy. I’ve let it go, they deserve each other. Currently I hardly ever talk to them.

nelly seems gay as fuk

He was accused of rape last year.

I've met a couple of guys like this over the years. Its sad as fuck cos they livin a lie, and it all turns to shit inevitably.

Such a fucking waste, both really attractive sexy nelly fems too. Its a damn shame

Do they have families (wife and children)? Some want that more than anything, especially if they don't believe/see positive gay relationships. Many of the people posting here haven't had successful same sex relationships.

I worked with a lanky, handsome French hairdresser that clearly sized me up my first day and was extremely effeminate, yet masculine (ran triathalons) and never exhibited any sexual attraction to other men or women- very respectful though. We flirted a bit one Christmas party, he’s very well hung judging from his tight pants! The nicest guy, but people always seem bewildered when they find out he’s straight.

He’s happily married, doesn’t seem tortured, kids and wife. I saw younger photos of him where he looked like a twink- and think he shut down that part of his life romantically, but it serves him very well in his profession with no regrets. I know a lot of his clients thought he was gay so maybe he takes full advantage of the misconception, but in a nice way and it allows him a closeness with women a straight guy wouldn’t have.

BTW the wife is really nice as well but extremely boyish with a cropped haircut and probably aware of her husband.

Yes in the muslim world.

A few answers and a question:

Very common in the South. I have know a lot of ,married men whose flames could be seen from Mars. Often, they have stereotypical Gay jobs such as interior decorator, florist, or hairdresser. It is a cultural thing. Southerns really do worry so much about who is going to inherit "great Aunt Tilly's" teas set, that Gay men marry for clear inheritance lines. I have had both men and their mother's say this outright.

Perhaps, not quite Nelly, Nelly being a 10, but in New England, there are a lot of men who are certainly between a 5 and a 9. It is really difficult to tell who is Gay and who is just "expressive".

Question: I do not get the band aid on the face comment.

Yep. There's a guy like this at work. Quite cute actually. He's a bear: tall, overweight, hairy, bearded with a semi-fancy beard style. In meetings, when he speaks, it's purses all over the floor, his hands touches his chest, his eyes roll, his head tilts etc... Quite effeminate. I've also caught him look intensely at some other handsome muscular team member. At work, he's the advocate for diversity, regularly sending the team emails about LGBT inclusiveness. But then again, he's married, often talks about his wife. He's probably in his early forties, yet they have no kids. He and his wife have one hobby: Glass blowing (not kidding).

Go figure.

[quote]He and his wife have one hobby: Glass blowing

Have you met their live-in caretaker Mr. Glass?

I love an effeminate bear. Seriously. They turn me on.

Hello...

Love. Beautiful straight love.

Hello.

was nelly caught with trannys that time ??

That was tyga.

You can pick them out in the dark, OP.

Usually tiny guys, fussy with their appearance and dating or married to an Amazon-ish woman. The women aren't always overweight, although most are, and all are much taller than him. The nelly always acts SO SURPRISED that they somehow know so much about LGBT and gay culture, have so much in common with gay men intellectually and to be so into anal sex...yet be SO STRAIGHT!

Yep. You can pick them out in the dark, blindfolded.

For R22: Nelly, the rapper, wears a bandaid on his face as a fashion statement.

"The nicest guy, but people always seem bewildered when they find out he’s straight."

This is about nelly CLOSETED guys, not guys who seem gay but are actually straight

First time I encountered this was when I was in children's theater when I was 13. Some of the actors were adults, one was in his 20s, effeminate, married to a woman. Then there was my friend's dad, when I was in high school. used to swish around the pool in a bathing cap saying "Look, I'm Esther Williams". Then there was a friend's cousin who was a dancer on Broadway, early 20's, married to a woman, very fem. And a guy I was in a play with when I was in my 20s who was in his 40s, had 4 kids. Obviously gay and came on to me. The one thing all the wives had in common was they were nice, not pretty, and, I guess, blind.

I was introduced to an absolutely screaming man by a mutual friend at a funeral. He had a piercing, shrieky voice and was dressed extravagantly. He talked non stop about the Queen Mother and how marvellous she was. “She had a routine!” She was a hundred and two!”

Then he mentioned his wife....

NELLY will fuk anything with a mouth....thats the word, and he so hard up will turn up the ass for a franklin or 2

Nelly and closeted

R33 It's the same. Ping to high heaven yet state that they're straight = closeted

While we're on the subject of nelly but closeted Trumpsters

the very definition of nelly

He's not.

I feel for one in law school. He had a girlfriend “in France.” But she was real and they got married.

Just as well. He snapped his fingers at a waiter.

[quote]Usually tiny guys, fussy with their appearance and dating or married to an Amazon-ish woman

Flavor Flav and Brigitte Neilsen

I was involved in community theater in the 90s after college and over the two or so years I volunteered, I met three different men (including the managing director of the company) who were married but were as nellie as the day is long.

Two eventually divorced their wives and came out.

The third is still married. It must have been an understood marriage of companionship because (a) his very identifiable car used to be in front of the adult bookstore constantly and (b) he was so flaming as to be noticeable from space. Even Ross Matthews would have said, "Gurl, turn it down a bit!"

Wasn't Brigitte Nielsen already with her younger husband when she did the Flavor Flav show? It was just an acting gig.

Remember that great Dana Carvey character? Lyle the effeminate heterosexual.

Even his wife was stunned to learn that Lyle was straight.

And they had kids.

My older brother is married with a kid. I finally had the convo with mom about me and the FIRST thing she says: "Yeah, your older brother is gay, too, I think."

R39 Who are you calling nelly? I just like to properly accessorize my look when I go hunting with the boys.

"Ole Miss" takes on a whole new meaning when she wears it! LOLOL

OMG I have few friends from college that are nelly as hell and married to women. It is weird none are super religious maybe they're bi but everyone used to ask me if my roommate was gay ..I even caught looking at guys asses.

Yup, one was in my church group back in college. I'm not sure if we can call him closeted since he admitted to our all male Bible Study Group that he used to hookup at the local YMCA with guys back in High School. He professed to pray the gay away and was extremely optimistic about fitness, Jesus, and starting a heterosexual family. I just sat there and internally rolled my eyes. He sounded gay, was always smelling cookies, and dressed very flamboyantly. But he was a devoted lap dog to church's social structure so we all pretended he that the cure had worked. His social media was about fitness (his body = goals!) and religion. We rarely said more than a few words together, despite two years in this small bible study. I think he sensed that I was also in the closet, thus a threat. I thought he was just a stuck up bitch but I made attempts to reach out. He acted too busy. Ok, dear.

I ended up graduating, moving to the city, and being completely out. That guy moved to the same city and finally came out. Now he's a muscle queen into partying (hopefully with no capital "T"), light drugs, and fitness. I've ran into him and was polite (the closet makes us do crazy things) because I'd love to have a friend from our old city, but he was still an aloof bitch. This time with fresh cock on his breath. Girl, bye!

Even those lifeforms on Venus could see that nelly Queen ping from day one.

R40/ R41 yeah he pretty, but not really that nelly, and likely straight

This one tho......

My hair stylist is very effeminate. He lost his mother at an early age and he grew up in a rural area with just his dad and three brothers. He's married to a very pretty (and thin and feminine) lady, and he has five grown kids and a bunch of grandkids. He says he has always been "girly", even as a child. He's a very kind man, and I don't judge him. I can understand how it would be difficult for him to come out in that time and place. He seems happy enough now with his family. If he came out now, it's doubtful that he'd ever find a male partner at his age.

I once worked with a woman who was quite butch, and I was shocked to learn she was married to a man and had kids. The weird thing was that she'd regularly ignore or insult her coworkers. She offhand said something like, "I could exercise more, or I could just be overweight like you" to a coworker that she had become friends with outside the office. Maybe she had aspergers, since she didn't realize it was a mean thing to say, especially to a work friend with whom she took turns watching each other's kids. The "overweight" coworker met the butch woman's husband, and she swore that the husband was gay because he was so nelly. No one could figure out if it was a marriage of convenience or if both the husband and wife were both in deep self denial.

R52 - yeah - it goes both ways. I have met many 'manly' women who were somehow married. Go to any rural area - some of those country wives are men in a dress.

Mrs Mariska Hargitay

Fresh cock on his breath, r50?

This lady's husband right here.

When she said they'd been dating since high school, that was kind of the confirmation for me.

She does look amazing though.

^ That guy flames

"He's unattractive based on global standards of what makes an attractive man so therefore he must be gay."

I know two and one is even obsessed about broadway shows.

They both are married with kids

[quote]I will marry a guy who looks at me like this men looks at his wife. You can tell this men is in love 😍

R56 Goodness, the comments on that video! Delusional frau central!

r51 There's a dedicated fangirl on here who goes for the throat of anybody who says Shawn Mendes is anything but 1000% str8 (he's not even 10%).

r55 yeah, but not literally, unless it's Pride. In college, he was suppressing his love of cock. In the big city he's let his hoe flag fly for his circle of muscle queen friends. I'm all about having fun so no judgement. Sadly it didn't make him any nicer to me. It's wasn't a lack of dick making him lash out, we are just not compatible. I had to let go of the idea that just because we were from the same town and experienced the same conservative college years, that we could potentially be friends. All well, I unfollowed him and only give a brief hello if I see him in passing. Life is too short.

R62 - sounds like he was exhausting then as he is now - need for lots of attention. We all know the type - particularly certain gay men.

r63 he is. I admit that I am probably no cake walk so it's for the best.

God I knew so many guys like this in high school and college. I always roll my eyes when I see their Facebook photos posing with their wives in supposed wedded bliss.

[quote]R34 Then there was my friend's dad when I was in high school. He used to swish around the pool in a bathing cap saying "Look, I'm Esther Williams".

I so want to see their home movies.

I've lost count of the number.

Two come to mind ,though Ive known many . My best girlfriend of 20 years started dating again after her divorce and drug up this guy who I instantly thought "GURLLLL!" he loved Wizard of Oz (obsessed loved) ,lived with an old gay guy who was a "friend" ,had 3 cats ,etc. There was no cliche so strained he didnt encapsulate it . A few months into their dating she asks me one day "Do you think Wayne is gay?" . I had held my tongue till that point,but I let it fly "Girl,if he was any gayer he'd burst into flames" . Long story short,she chose to ignore her own misgivings and married the guy . I worked at a c-store right in front of our apts,and one day he was talking to me at work and this guy comes in(obviously gayer than an Easter bonnet" and screams "Why Wayne (insert last name) ! Where Have you BEEN ??? " Wayne mutters something and rushes out red faced . The queen comes up to pay and I asked if he knew Wayne ? He screams back "Do I ?!? He's fucked everybody ! " I responded "Thats unfortunate as hes married to a friend of mine" and the queen responds "Oh? Whats his name ?" I said "Lisa" .

The queen looks absolutely astonished and said "A girl???" I responded "Yep,vagina and all" . That queen just shakes her head ,pays and leaves. The whole time shaking her head ! My first thought was I wasnt going to be the one to clue her ass in so I never said a word. Just ghosted them slowly.

The 2nd one was an old southern guy with a heavy accent wich sorta hid his lisp . He used to stare at my crotch every time we went to their house,with his wife sitting right there. He'd just flirt away with me and my friend .Not one person that ever met him assumed he was straight. Each time he mentioned his wife people were startled . You could always see their eyes would widen for a second! He was a fucking mess,bless him. Nice guy really,but so very closeted and you could see it was torture.

What is nelly?

So DL is a place where People believe all effeminate men are gay? In 2020? What a regressive, ignorant group of people.

[quote] So DL is a place where People believe all effeminate men are gay?

No, it's a place where most of us have been paying close attention for years to the people around us and learned from it.

You must be lost, straight effeminate straight guy at R70.

We aren't the only ones. Everyone knows you are, not just DL. Own it, dear! Bend over, spread those cheeks and come out of the closet!

[quote]Very common in the South. I have know a lot of ,married men whose flames could be seen from Mars. Often, they have stereotypical Gay jobs such as interior decorator, florist, or hairdresser.

My ex knew a Mississippi queen who was in charge of the local high school's theater department AND designed and sewed his own wife's wedding gown.

When I was younger in my early twenties and conflicted about being gay myself, I agreed to go on a church ski trip as a chaperone for some high school-age kids.

One of the other chaperones was a new Minister of Music at the church, who was very effeminate and married. The kids were pretty well-behaved and didn't need a lot of supervision.

Once this minister and I were walking around a mall on a stop we made en route to the ski resort, just talking about nothing in particular. Our hands accidentally brushed against each other as we walked and talked. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but the married minister immediately started apologizing and saying it was totally an accident, and insisting that he didn't mean anything by touching me.

I was shocked and hardly knew what to say - it was such a weird overreaction to a casual touch. After a while, we went separate ways in the mall.

Later on the bus, he pulled out bags of clothing and showed us all the clothing he had bought for his wife (who wasn't with us on this ski trip) at the mall - even as a naive 21-year old, I figured it out at that point.

[quote]My ex knew a Mississippi queen who was in charge of the local high school's theater department AND designed and sewed his own wife's wedding gown.

And what exactly is weird about that - I sewed my wife's entire trousseau!

Ryan Gosling.

I follow a YouTuber who used to study theater in college. She's married and has a kid with the gayest looking man alive. I'd post a pic of the couple but I don't know how. He works as a Disney travel guide and they met in college.

They always talk with their hands. So much hand enunciation! Until they finally come out and start taking it up the ass, then there's less of that.

How does it feel to stay closeted for life? I really can't fathom that. Isn't it extremely painful? Or do they just shut down that part of themselves and try not to feel it?

I've been considering pretending to be straight when I move to a new place and keeping my gayness behind closed doors. It's just easier to lie and say you're straight when it comes to the workplace and such. I also get along better with straight guys than with most gay men, so maybe the closet is the way to go for me. I honestly don't think I'd be unhappy with it, in fact I wouldn't do it if it made me unhappy. It's fun to pretend to be one of them, it adds spice and pizzazz to my life, makes me feel like a secret agent. Plus I don't like my friends and coworkers knowing about my sex/love life.

It's easier to stay closeted. You get more out of it. People treat you differently when you're straight, there's more perks. The only perk to being openly gay is having nobody raise their brows at you when you quote Golden Girls in everyday conversation.

Never in my life. My first boyfriend, Brad, is totally into girls.

"I also get along better with straight guys than with most gay men, so maybe the closet is the way to go for me."

Which must be why you're blabbing about the Golden Girls on a gay board

The closet is only harmful if you can't pursue romance and sex privately. As long as you've got access to a boyfriend if you want it and hook-ups, why is being closeted a bad thing? It's a lot easier to be seen as straight, anyways. Despite what people would have you think, homophobia didn't go away when same sex marriage was legalized and it is still very present in society and affects our every day life. When everyone thinks you're straight you just have an easier go of it.

R80 Keeping your private life private is one thing while marrying a woman in order to prove your straightness/have a "normal" family life is another one. I really can't see myself doing that. I can't even lie about my sexuality when asked with a straight face. I try my best not to because I usually feel extremely uncomfortable afterwards. I guess people are different.

I was just out shoppin' for some new pantsuits for my wife Bonnie!

[Quote] As long as you've got access to a boyfriend if you want it and hook-ups, why is being closeted a bad thing?

What happens when you're with your boyfriend and you cross paths with someone who thinks you're straight?

Then, you introduce him as your "roommate"? Like it's 1978.

R79 Count me as another person what cant fathom the idea of being closeted. I couldnt wait to get the fuck out once I'd admitted it to myself, and come to terms with it. I came out at 18 and I never looked back. And this was a long time ago in a white working class area.

I could easily pass for straight if I wanted to, I just could not stand the idea of living a lie. And not being able to fully enjoy the company of men and living true to myself, thats a hell no from me. How the fuck guys like this that are obviously nelly do it I have no idea. And why. Why would you do it to yourself? I mean if where you live isnt great, surely you can move someplace where its easier to be gay. (A bit difficult in the Islamic world though, that I get)

[Quote] Why would you do it to yourself?

They can't fathom a world outside of that in which they were raised. The status of a hetero, preferably married man is all they can conceive of as bearable.

R89 Yes, and a lot of deeply closeted cases never come to terms with themselves. They view being gay as innately inferior. The internalized homophobia is so strong they can never break out of it. Mind you I've met people from Belgium who are like this, not to even mention other parts of the world that are not that gay-friendly.

who cares.....he one fugly old queen

This describes my Gen X, faux-metrosexual hipster, striving middle-middle-class cousin, to a T.

I mean, his chief pastimes are interior decorating, choral singing, antique collecting, and gourmet cooking. His dream is to write a hit West End musical, or three. He not only walks but talks with a swish. He wears scarves and waistcoats. Come on.

Nevertheless, several years ago he dumped his long-term and only girlfriend (a skinny, sickly, neurotic, doll-like thing) to marry his plain, hefty, no-nonsense Frau manager. They still work unhappily in marketing. and with the proceeds together bought a Tasteful Friends. and then popped out a crotchfruit whom they dress in completely ridiculous campy outfits to get likes on Facebook. They also own an absurd toy dog upon which they dote, some sort of hideous Dachshund hybrid. It’s all very grotesque.

The entire family know he’s gay-leaning-bi, and only putting on this charade to spite his piece-of-shit father who came into money only to immediately walk out on my cousin and his mother to raise another family with the secretary of his company.

So we just go along with it, anyway. It’d be tragic if it weren’t so pathetically hilarious.

R80 Have fun getting tangled in lies, I guess. No need to ever discuss private things at work, but your friends?

They’ll find out eventually and then they’ll be more upset about your lies, than your gayness.

[Quote] only putting on this charade to spite his piece-of-shit father who came into money only to immediately walk out on my cousin and his mother to raise another family with the secretary of his company.

How does his choice spite his father?

People are different. Stop being so enslaved to broad stereotypes about people and start seeing people as individuals. No wonder so many of you are often so wrong; you believe in the most archaic and oppressive stereotypes.

I have no issues with men who are closeted to society and live as eternal bachelors or whatever. But don’t marry a poor naive woman and gaslight her.

Agree, R96

Some women want a husband and no/little sex.

R96, how about mixed orientation marriages wherein the man tell his wife before marrying that he has a samesex orientation, but it dedicated to living faithfully and monogamously within that marriage? There are many marriages like that Today amongst younger people.

I don’t know, R93. I somewhat agree with R80, in that everyone has a right to selective disclosure, plus other people are on a need-to-know basis when it comes one’s private life.

For example, I haven’t told my father, my grandmother, or my extended family, because they’re covert phobic conservatives whom don’t trust and dislike thanks to a history of their nasty behaviour. I also refuse to make close friends in the workplace or reveal my personal life there, as until recently I have mostly worked temporary McJobs I don’t enjoy with people to whom I can’t relate or count on to be constructive. My distant, old friends do not know, either - and why bother telling them if we’ve not spoken since 2010, and they’re going about their hetero business?

Maybe I’m a ‘quisling’ or whatever, but I feel this kind of approach is not hiding in cowardice, more just being sensibly cautious and keeping a tight inner circle in times of uncertainty. Remember, we are still seen as dangerous mutant scum to a wide swathe of everyday straight normies, who deep down beneath the veneer of tolerance still fear and resent us. And now, in this dystopia, even fellow weirdos and outcasts are turning on us. It’s prudent to keep your cards close, or so I believe.

Does that attitude impact on your mental health at all, r100?

Probably, but people who come out aren’t always relieved when they come out. Sometimes, they become even more stressed as they face and avalanche of ridicule, ostracism, discrimination, vitriol, even violence. Not everyone can endure those things.

Yes, but I don’t “blame” effeminate closeted men anymore than I “blame” less effeminate closeted men. Sure, it’s more confusing to anyone who meets them, but subjectively, each one of us is out of touch with who we are objectively and so a femmy homophobic gay guy is just as likely to be in denial as a non-femmy homophobic gay guy.

When I met Lindsey Graham about 10 years ago, I had heard his name but didn’t really know anything about his politics. So my very first impression was that an undeniably gay man was elected to federal office from South Carolina. I was not surprised to learn he is in the closet, although I doubt he is in denial to himself. In cases like his and Aaron Schock, I hold it against them because they actively legislate against the interests of people like them. No excuse can be made for that.

I feel greater sympathy for the average overtly gay man who is in a state of denial because it’s embarrassing and pitiable. But I also resent out gay men who are especially cruel to effeminate gay men who are closeted and less cruel to those who can “pass.” It’s evidence that everyone holds less-masculine men in lower regard, gay or not.

[Quote] because it’s embarrassing and pitiable.

Fucking hell.

R100 and R103 I have never been “in the closet” in the sense of denying I am gay, but when I was young I did deflect questions because I was afraid of addressing it head on. In other words, I never lied and said no, I am not gay, but I did passively deny it in the sense that I wouldn’t explicitly say I was until the end of high school, from which I graduated in 1996.

Like R100, I maintained active avoidance of the elephant in the room with my father’s family in the south because they are Bible thumpers and I only ever interacted with them at family reunions and funerals. We were not close in any way and I saw no point at all in broaching the topic. But I came to realize that I probably was coming across as being closeted—in the sense of actively trying to fool people—when I brought a female friend to the family reunion. She wanted to come because it was at a beach, and my family loved her and invited her, and it made me less uncomfortable to have a friend in such a stifling environment. (The reunion involves hymns and readings from the Bible...) So we showed up and everyone swarmed us asking how long we had been dating, etc. I laughed loudly every time someone asked and told everyone she has a boyfriend and we are just good friends. I had not really thought about it beforehand but I was mortified when I realized onsite that I appeared to have brought a beard with me.

A friend was dating this Nelly who we all knew was gay. Cute, never wanted to talk to the guys in our circle, especially us gays. Insisted on being called James, never Jim. Then they got married. Divorced a couple of years later.

Most gay people in the world are closeted are in denial

Yes and most women would like a husband that doesn’t lie to them r98

R99 that’s totally different. That would be honest and there would be no lying and gaslighting.

R108, not all are lying to their wives.

Makes me think of someone like Jason Kennedy from E! News. I remember watching that special on his wedding and he was, well, nelly. Totally controlling. Almost as if he was the bridezilla. It was hilarious. I was like, how can anyone buy this guy is straight. But, he's a major evangelical Christian (and even leads the Bible study group for all the young Hollywood Christians). I saw these types all through the church when I was a devout believer going to Christian schools. Christian culture is still a massive hiding place.

R110 well then those are not the ones I talked about in r96.

I meant those that lie to their wives, and take it on the downlow whilst telling their wives that they just aren’t that interested in sex, gaslighting them to the extreme.

That’s really low.

Yes, there is a man who I knew was gay as soon as I saw him and heard his voice. But he comes from a very religious family so he has to play the part of a wholesome, married Christian man. And his sister I'd swear is a lesbian is well. She has kind of a mannish way about her. She was a virgin in her 40s last I knew. She claimed to be seeing a man once but then dumped him because he said something to the effect "Honey, let's get hitched," and she didn't think that was a proper marriage proposal. But just like her brother, she is a God fearing Christian who believes every letter of the Bible. So I think she lies to herself as well.

Marriage of convenience beard = okay, because the woman consents to it. Cole Porter, Calvin Klein, etc.

Sham marriage beard = not okay, because you're misleading and gaslighting a dumb female who deserves an opportunity at romantic love. Kenney Chesney, Tim Tebow, Marcus Bachmann, Jared Kushner, John Travolta.

I'd like to say what Will and Jada Pinkett Smith do is okay, but they've been homophobic about certain roles they'll accept and they placate a homophobic culture.

They're older now, in a different time, so maybe they should start being honest.

The nellies on this thread who don't know Nelly must be the nelliest nellies who ever nellie'd.

Wow r114. You presume to know things about specific people Although actually you don’t know. Smh

[Quote] Sham marriage beard = not okay, because you're misleading and gaslighting a dumb female who deserves an opportunity at romantic love. Kenney Chesney, Tim Tebow, Marcus Bachmann, Jared Kushner, John Travolta.

What makes you say Kelly Preston wasn't a willing party?

You all may be shocked to hear this,but there was a time when people didnt walk around discussing their bedroom activities . Like my mother says,there were always gay people ,everyone knew who they were,but it just wasnt discussed ad nauseum . Kardashian being pissed on and flaunting it to the world would have gotten her ostracized . I think I prefer those times. It gave sex mystery,and more import .

No one makes that "bedroom" point about straight people...

^^ you romanticize a time when homosexuality was illegal or gays could get our asses kicked for being homo. Pitiful.

There are lots of late-in-life lesbians. For women, attraction is more emotional than physical. A lot of them say they were just going through the motions by marrying a man who was their perfect match on paper. They thought that "burning fire/desire love" was just a myth. Then one day out of the blue, they wake up and realize they're in love with a female friend, coworker, or media star, and the attraction is much more intense than any relationship they've experienced before. They call it "being hit by a lightning bolt", and "finally all the love song lyrics make sense". Some of them are then faced with the consequence of breaking up their family, devastating a loving, committed spouse, and upsetting their children.

Some of these women swear that they were straight before, and that they "turned" gay over time. They use the word "sexual fluidity" to describe the transformation. However, other women, including Meredith Baxter, say that they were probably always gay and had suppressed it. Meredith said she didn't have her realization until after her mother passed away.

When from birth, you're told (brainwashed actually) that your ultimate goal in life is to marry someone of the opposite sex and have kids, it's hard to resist and go against the grain.

Silly. Women don't eat cooch to be friendly.

R122, it has nothing to do with "eating cooch". It's more about being unexplainably fascinated by another person (and not necessarily knowing why), thinking about that person all throughout the day and smiling, feeling an irresistible urge to talk about that person, feeling dizzy and tongue-tied when standing close to that person, and feeling like your heart is going to jump out of your chest because your hand accidentally brushed against their hand. It's about having a crush and falling in love. I hope you've felt it before.

Cool. I still wanted to suck his dick.

Every church music director in the south

When I see a Queen out in public ,such as the grocery store , then realize they are with the wife I always want to ask if she knows. Is it an arrangement? Does she see it or care?

What about those poor guys who are nelly but actually straight?

As my mom used to tell me, “We knew you were gay from the time you could walk...but it was always possible you were just an intellectual, so we waited for you to tell us.”

And as a roommate’s cousin once said to me: “You’re GAY?! I thought you were just nerdy!”

A Uni Prof is the biggest Barbra queen I've ever met. Married with a child.

[Quote] What about those poor guys who are nelly but actually straight?

I mean, who's to say...

I don't know if it exactly fits the thread, but I once knew a guy in high school who I always suspected was gay. He even made a subtle pass at me at one point. Then he finally came out. Everyone else in the school acted surprised and/or disgusted but not me. Years later I look him up on Facebook and he apparently went right back into the closet. He was wearing camouflage and holding a deer by the antlers in his profile picture and he has a wife and a kid. I was pretty shocked.

So what’s the breakdown?

1) closeted gay

2) repressed homosexualist

3) straight but nelly

Wow, r116, you presume specific people to be straight just because they say so.

Most of the people I named have been proven — even admitted they were gay.

Yes, I went to dinner with a few friends that was set up by one who brought her boyfriend (later husband) for us to meet. He opened his mouth and a purse fell out. I was floored. I didn't say anything but I thought this was a joke and that John Quinones was about to appear.

Nope they got married,and have a child together.

My friends step-dad. I met him at an event and I didn't know he was her step-dad at first. Just assumed he was a gay friend of the family

Along that vein ,I knew a guy who had been raised by women only. No father,no grandad,no uncles in his life . You met him and you would swear he was the last queen , but nope,just really feminine because thats all he was around. Happily married with 3 kids for like 20 years now.

[Quote] just really feminine because thats all he was around

Such a bullshit excuse.

Nelly straight guy

Interesting thought

Not sure if I buy the being raised by women made him a queen. I believe most of our mannerisms are innate some just work to hide the truth.

'Straight' until you spear their hole, hit their prostate a few times and they cum harder than they ever have before, with your cock up their ass.

R138, I agree. I know guys who were raised by single moms who are total rednecks

R136/R138 I remember once hearing Josh Peck in an interview use that explanation to describe his femininity.

It does sound like horseshit.

Effeminancy doesn’t mean a male is gay. It would be ignorant to think so.

What does effeminacy mean?

Acting like a female

As a millennial, I’m shocked by how many instances of this still exist. I see it all the time with couples in the grocery store. How are the wives so oblivious?

I know one couple like this through a mutual friend. This friend told me the wife confessed their kid was conceived by “jumping on at the last few seconds of hand job” because “Its the only way he can cum”. How stupid can you be?!

R145, perhaps it’s not smart to jump to conclusions about another person’s sexuality based on how masculine or feminine they are.

It's a good indication.

R146, not all gay men are nelly, but all nelly men are gay. And don’t give me some “but he’s married with kids” example.

Just not true

Ironically, yes.

[Quote] Just not true

Empirical study?

r146 as long as someone is keeping it to themselves it's really no different then determining if someone is nice or mean based on a first impression. Our brains are always analyzing our fellow humans to determine their categories within our world views. Anyone pretending otherwise is simply being naive.

Everyone you meet is consciously and subconsciously analized as male or female, fuckable or not fuckable, gay or straight, tall or short, their race, and if they are attractive or not to you. Our minds are like a computer. This is why we can instantly pick up on a hot person. It's genetics-based on experience. Don't take this thread so seriously.

Yes

Lots of effeminate straight men

Liberace

Vicent(e) Minnelli.

Dr. Smith on Lost in Space

Mitch McTurtle

Snagglepuss

This video with Britney Spears, will.i.am, and Ryan Seacrest is perfect for this thread. I always assumed Ryan Seacrest was gay, too.

R158 like I could love Brit more. Incredible footage.

I had a nurse when I was hospitalized with pneumonia. He pinged to high heaven.

When he was walking me in the corridor, we were discussing the state of the world. He said he sometimes goes home, buries his head in his wife's neck and cries.

God, that is sad.

[Quote] buries his head in his wife's neck

He swears he'll work his way down... eventually.

sad sad sad, poor guys. it has to be horrible having to have sex with someone that you are not attracted.

R163, I have sex with a fat orange turd and I make it work!

The nelly "straight" guys usually know how they're perceived, so they mention their wife constantly--and unnecessarily--to try to prevent you from drawing the more obvious conclusion.

R163 It's like eating a carrot. They probably don't like it but they can force themselves to do it when they need to. Not everyone values love/attraction/truth as much as status and power. Some just don't see the gayness as important part of their identity and are willing to trade them off.

There truly are some effeminate straight guys.

I know one sissy-sounding, whiny dude who is a "total pussyhound." He pursues nothing else as doggedly in life and his multiple female partners attest to his promiscuity/ virility/ etc.

I also know a small business owner with effeminate mannerisms but a wife, kids and culturally straight / handy / mechanical / football, etc.

It turns out his father is a lisping sissy closet case. So I believe that some straight dudes just pick up fey mannerisms from women or the sissy Marys who raised them.

Gay porn actor Yusuf Mack has multiple baby mamas. He was previously a boxer...

R167 Does he fall in love with women or just use them for sex? He could be homoromantic bisexual. You never know.

[Quote] I believe that some straight dudes just pick up fey mannerisms from women or the sissy Marys who raised them.

I don't.

I don't get the "they pick up mannerisms from the person who raised them" thing.

I know plenty of nelly guys who were raised by macho dads, and guys raised by single moms who are totally redneck or thugged out

Yes. They mention their wives more often than Lt. Columbo.

R98 - yes, I know a woman like this. She's now 50, and I've known her since her 20s as we traveled in the same nightlife scene. She used to be quite beautiful and witty, especially to those she wished to charm, and was a vicious cunt to everyone else. Never single for long, she always had another guy waiting in the wings while she eased her way out of a current relationship that she was tired of. Rumor has it she always faked it with guys, and made them believe they were the first ones to give her pleasure during sex (eyeroll). It's incredible how many men fell for this deception, for fuck's sake. The egos! Infuriatingly, she ended up being married to fairly nelly man with his own successful business and family money. This same man is well-known for asking all her gay male friends if he could suck their cocks, and for crusing in all the gay bars. Apparently his family is super homophobic ("Bronx guido stock" according to someone who knows him personally). This undeserving bitch landed the perfect arranged marriage: she gets taken care of financially and can do what she wants, and he gets to fuck around because she doesn't care so long as he doesn't touch her. Lots of pics of PDA between them in photos to embellish the ruse. Oh well, she can have her marriage of convenience because girl looks like a bloated manatee these days. TIme is a harsh mistress!

R148.

No, there are no nelly straight men. There are many weak and cowardy straight men, there are many strong and courageous gay men, but feminine men are gay.

Not all straight guys are macho. Many are far from it.

I don't know, R174. If gay men can be masc, then straight men can be nelly.

gay man can PRETEND to be masc in the public, and some are very good at it

Bullshit, r177. Many gay men are masculine.

This thread is actually quite interesting.

I feel like we are in 1975 debating Liberace, Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson's sexuality.

Trust your gaydar boys

Gay-for-pay is a totally different event than marriages of convenience, r168.

Those G4P guys are woman-oriented and they only hook up with guys for money. And they almost NEVER marry another dude. However, some A-gays like Calvin Klein and Karl Lagerfeld have had woman-oriented "kept boys."

Yes, r169, the son is happily married to a woman with children and a little more butch than his father.

r171, I totally believe there are different causes for different people and circumstances.

I generally think that people imitate what they like (unconsciously) or want to be like. Some gaybies relate better to women and adopt their ways. Some are dudes through and through an would rather be dudes and talk / act like their fathers.

And them some fathers are sissies and other fathers are gay, closeted sissies.

You called?

r174 is just an ignorant, binary bigot stuck in the 1940s.

I attended the Human Rights Campaign LGBTQ and friends concert at the 2008 Democratic Convention in Denver with Ellen, Cyndi Lauper and ...........Nelly!

I don't think we should assume someone is Gay because of they are nelly. This Generation Z is all fluid. Those stereotypes broke down about the same time as AOL chat rooms! (20 yrs ago). Why label?

No, Gen Z is not "all fluid"

And I'd wager a lot of the people discussed in this thread are not "Gen Z" anyway

R174, that’s exactly what I said. Reread it.

R60 - I said it before and I will say it again, we are just better with women. Tbh I think most straight men would never give the woman more than a gruff and maybe ask for sex later, but that guy is actually acting human, which is what the frau is mixing up with love. Maybe he loves her for being a nice woman and a friend, but he pings to high heaven.

[186] Study Says Only Two Thirds of Gen Z Is Straight

R80 - yeah, I think about that all the time. I bet a lot of the others on here have as well at times. But could you love that woman? Would it be fair?

R189, that survey seems pretty dubious.

WOW. There is absolutely no doubt that the man in R56 's vid is gay. Gay as a gay man can be. Not even good at acting straight... And no straight man would want his wife to cut her hair into that at all. There's no way that woman doesn't know either. They must have their reasons for pretending.

R60 - he cries because he is gay or because of the actual state of the world (Trump, COVID, etc...cuz if it's that, I would also cry if I had a wife who would put up with it).

Hey hennies!

This thread is mostly about Americans so far, but a lot of Asian and Latino men throw my gaydar off completely. Even a lot of them that are straight have mannerisms that seem femme to us.

The conductor of my choir is Colombian, and when I first met him, he flamed so hot I had him figured as the gayest gay who ever gayed. Nope, he knocked up a woman and married her; now they have a second kid too, and he seems legit straight. That was a lesson to me on cultural stereotypes.

How cum he aged so badly? wtf happend to him? rode hard and put away wet i reckon

Does "legit straight" mean he didn't offer to suck your cock?

I’m in Pharma sales and I work with a lot of dermatologists. Almost every male derm pings to me because they’re such dandies. But I’m usually wrong. Just a bunch of high-level metrosexuals with easy access to fillers.

Dirty old thug.

Sen. Cottontail

Any of you ever consider that maybe these men are bi?

r56 & r192 he may be gay or straight, but I love their vibe. I don't know her age, but that woman is age rather nicely. Good bone structure. I hate that women cut their hair shirt, but with the grey and angles it really works on her.

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

R195 yeah, and a lot of European and some English guys jam my gaydar too. Mind you its a piece of shit anyway.

That said theres an English guy Michael Portillo that does TV travel shows, he pinged to me, but he's married an all - but then I found the article above online

R56 That queen looks at his wife the same way that Karl Lagerfeld looked at Cara Delevigne or Olivier Rousteing looks at Gigi Hadid. Gay designer and his beautiful muse!

Bi men want dick in their assholes?

Nelly u nellie bitch.

R206 - of course some do...it's why it is called Bisexual. I truly believe there are some men that like both. Personally I have no problem with it. To each his own.

[QUOTE]Bi men want dick in their assholes?

Are you a straight woman? Bi men absolutely love dicks in their ass. Bisexual men are essentially vers bottoms. They prefer topping woman and bottoming for men. Go on bibros reddit, they all prefer being dominated by men and worship cock but not so much the ass.

My law school section included a pearl-clutching, swish-walking married guy. He was actually on his second wife, having divorced the first one because she cheated on him. Sometime in our third year, we were out to dinner and I met the second wife, an obese frau. And off campus, he was nellier than ever. A couple of years after law school, I was discussing him with another classmate, who disclosed that he was a Scientologist. Ohhhhhhh!

Are there no bi tops?

I'm assuming there are few bi tops because they can already do that to women. Being with a man allows them to be pegged.

[quote]So DL is a place where People believe all effeminate men are gay? In 2020? What a regressive, ignorant group of people.

I believe most are, especially the ones who came on to me, pinched my ass, flirted with me, or offered to pay my rent. All married or later got married to women.

[quote] r208 Go on bibros reddit, they all prefer being dominated

Why would you believe anything you read on Reddit?

"So DL is a place where People believe all effeminate men are gay? In 2020? What a regressive, ignorant group of people."

If the media is actively supporting your "revolutionary" progressiveness, you’re not progressive.

I think we as gay men see it differently than heterosexual women. Personally, I see George Michael as the ultimate gay face if there ever was one. My roommate went to BBQ at a fellow American's house a few months ago, and this idiot kept trying to kiss her despite the woman saying she was interested in only friendship. He thought he would be very European by buying "elegant clothes" and he paired a suit they use for funerals here with sports sandals and dousing himself with imitation designer fragrance. Then he tried to "set the mood" by playing Elton John and George Michael on his flat-screen TV. (You can't make this stuff up). We laughed but she said that though they are gay, no woman she ever met didn't find George's dimples and sweet smile super sexy paired with his nice manner! Go figure.

What do you mean "Go figure." If you like someone's looks, you may be attracted to them. It's not complex, dear.

Old news, ev body know bout his gay ness.....

Him a butt boy

R205 Yes.

Him: She’s gonna need so much less prep. It looks ss-

Her: sexy!

Him: -sssophisticated, sexy.

Her: common say it!

Him: yeah. *Looks down* she looks beautiful.

Just watched a clip of Tom Cruise and director Doug Liman answering Google questions.

And if there was, anywhere, anytime, a bottom that FLAMED more flamboyantly than Miss Doug the big action movie director, I would like to shake their hand. Because this is an achievement for the books.

Miles Heizer.

Who is he/she? What she known for???

"Hot in Herre" etc.

I know a Mennonite guy who has 6 kids, and is the definition of nelly!

Is David still a virgin? The fuzzy sweater must itch . . . take it off!

[quote] it has nothing to do with "eating cooch".

Listen to this Abercrombie bumping his gums. Like as not he ain’t never had so much as a honey-cooler from a filly.

Kevin Jonas embodies the spirit of this thread. His maniac fundie parents must think him a punishment sent by God.

He’s married with kids, and doesn’t even try to disguise his disdain for heteroseshuality. Like at 2:40 in this video, when at a singles mixer a friend he is wingmanning asks him “where’s the ladies?” and on seeing the room they are in is a sausage factory Kevin replies brightly “works for me!”

R219 Liman is a loveable lunatic, and this is no more pronounced when he is sat next to chilly creepy robotic Tammy.

To work with as a director, Doug seems a blast. He made the fantastic and underrated movie GO!, and I’ll always appreciate him for that. Jay Mohr & Scott Wolf were two of his ensemble actors on GO! back in 1999 (playing an established closeted-gay couple, no less), and to this day the two talk about him with great affection and respect.

who would want her old tore up hiney?

R227, nobody said anything negative about Linney. He does seem like a lovely guy. Flaming from space, however, he definitely is. He also isn't openly gay and his career is based on movies that basically reaffirm hetero stereotypes.

I wonder why Tammy decided to work with him. Is she surrounding herself with gay men for comfort? Some closet cases tend to do this.

Oops, Liman, not Linney^^

David Spade embodies this persona, for me. Though by all accounts he is very hetero. What’s up with that?

I’m a mental health nurse. I once worked with a prissy and short tempered consultant psychiatrist who was openly gay. He used to bring his long term male partner to work nights out. Fast forward a few years and I’m in a new job in a different area. The consultant was there too. This time he was married to a woman. He was really unpleasant to me, presumably because I had known him before he was “straight”. He mentioned his wife constantly. Then she got pregnant with twins, and he put photocopies of the babies’ ultrasound in the elevator at work.

I've encountered a lot of these men in my life. I guess because I used to be cute. Hey, weren't we all. I took a summer course, speech class, at a local college and the prof had 6 kids, proudly showed the pictures. He was in his late 40s I guess. It came out in conversation he was the bro-in-law of a dentist who lived on my street. As a pretext of delivering my final grades, just in the neighborhood to visit that bro-in-law, he came by one day when I guess he assumed my parents would be at work. He came on to me and I had to literally push him out of the house. Granted he was not very nelly and in this case he had sort of fooled me up till then. More nelly was a local theater director who auditioned me and three other guys I knew for a play he hadn't yet found a venue for. All of us were between 25 and 30, playing soldiers in this play. The guy was about 70. He was married, had grown children, was a grandfather. But he came on to me one time when he gave me a ride after rehearsal. Both cases these guys got physical and I had to push them off me.