Age difference of over 10 years?

Twenty years apart, thirty years together.

Not me, but my friend married a woman 21 years his junior. They dated for about 7 years before getting married a couple years ago. Now, they are expecting a baby girl. Despite the age difference, it does not seem weird or "father-daughter" at all. It might help that he looks young for his age and acts even younger.

My partner and I have a 23 year age difference. We have been together 16 years and married for 6. We seem to be doing fine. I do notice we are much more independent from each other than many couples. It seems to be working.

Fifteen years ago a friend met "the love of his life." Mike is now 65, Ray is 83.

A good friend of mine - straight. She was 43, he was 66. That was 6 years ago. The man is *ga-ga* for her and this is her first big love relationship. My friend is like Mavis Gary from Young Adult but way less dark. Sarcastic bombshell who dropped out of corporate life to become a dogwalker on the north fork of Long Island. He was one of her clients. He's wealthy and she really doesn't give a shit about his money. The local ladies HATE her which is kind of hysterical.

When they are together, they're like goofy teenagers. It's very sweet.

I was with someone 26 years my senior for about 9 years. He hit 70 and I swear to god, something switched and he suddenly seemed ancient. I couldn't do it.

Do not have children. That's a stupid old Disney fantasy. Live a happy life of travel, pets, etc. - no children - that will ruin EVERY couple.

R7, right you are. Straight couples say the best time of their lives began when their kids left home.

Large age differences always involve $$$. It has always been this way.

When I was very young I was with a guy who was 22 years older than me. I stupidly thought that he was solid and mature. He was crazy and paranoid about me leaving him for someone younger. He made terrible, untrue accusations constantly, and eventually I had to get away from him. I moved 400 miles away, and even that didn’t work. He found me. I was too young for that kind of drama,

My husband is 64 and I'm 40. We have been together for 16 years.

12 years. we lasted 11 years.

I think I saw it here on DL. But the "half plus seven" equation has always seemed reasonable. Take half of the older persons age and add seven years. That is the border.

So if I am twenty, the half is ten then add seven years. Twenty and seventeen seems reasonable.

If I am 60, then 37 doesn't sound too cray cray.

Sometimes an age difference of 40 years works.

20 year age difference. He was 58, I was 38. Together for 25 years this October, married for five. I think it helped we were both in middle age when we met and each had already had a LTR (me with another man, ended 8 years before we met; he with a wife for 20+ years, two kids, amicable separation—he had a 2-year relationship with a man before me, ended when the partner died unexpectedly).

My BF is 29, Im 66...been together 8.5 years. No problems whatsoever.

I seem to know a few people who have gaps of around 13-15 years who are doing fine.

Eleven years apart, twenty years together

Gross r16. I mean, more power to you. But what do y’all talk about? And will you feel any guilt when he has wasted his youth on you?

My partner is 10 years older and we’re together 27 years. I was late 20s when we met and he was late 30s. It’s worked out just fine.

Hey, R19...yeah, I can understand your POV somewhat, but I'm not sure how you figure he's "wasting his youth' and I'm not sure he'd agree, either. I understand younger guys not being attracted to older (hence your comment "gross...good for you," but the other side is "good for him.") We're polar opposites...I have graduate degrees, he dropped out of HS, I'm tall, thin and athletic, he's short, stocky and not into sports, I'm a CEO, he builds race cars. But being opposites, we each bring knowledge of "the other side" of life, which each of us finds interesting. I'm happy wrenching on cars with him, and he's interested in politics and finance now. We live separately, neither of us watch television, and stream everything, and in over 8 years together, we've never sat across the table with our faces into our phones, because we've run out of things to say. we would both say that our lives have been enriched by the diversity of our experiences, and assuming I die before him, I think our time together will not be wasted. (I believe the current average of a gay relationship is 7 years, so which is really the waste? :)

Indeed R21. That seemed a bit rehearsed, but who cares. I only said gross because your time line would suggest a 20 year old with a dude in his late fifties. It would be easy for you to captivate him. I know of what I speak. I cut one loose for that very reason.

We!ve been together 18 years- no sexy in 10 of those years. Not married, no kids- just his one from a previous marriage to a woman. Works for me bit i never thought I’d end up in a facsímil of a straight relationship

10 years doesn't seem that much to me. I have a friend who is closing in on 50 who is dating a 19 year old and I can't imagine what they talk about. I've tried having conversations with the guy, but I don't really get any of the references.

Tom Daley [26] and Dustin Lance Black [46]. They are together since 7 or 8 years now.

We've been together for almost 20 years. He was 28 and I was 51. My friends thought I had lost my mind dating someone that young. Money was never a factor. We each have our own. I'm not his "daddy". I brought a sense of stability to his life, which he never had and I think that's where the love began to grow from. We have the occasional disagreement our individual quirks have never become issues. Age difference can be an impossibility for most people, so I think he and I are very fortunate.

I'm 65 and my partner is 27. Together 9 years. I'm tall, thin and sporty, race cars, manage a vineyard and I'm foreign minister of a small European country. I have 2 doctorates and speak 5 languages fluently. My husband is a short fat uneducated gardener from Honduras. It works out beautifully.

We'v been together 33 years of pure bliss, love and companionship. Yes, we're best friends, but we have our own interests, too. I'm 102 and my husband is 49. The key to a long relationship is keeping the fire alive in the bedroom!

I'm 384 and my ward is 27. We've been together a couple weeks. It was fun for 5 days. I'm thinking of doing him in, he's a dreadful bore, and so bourgeois.

My husband is 18 years older than me. Married 4 years. Never really argue. Going strong!

He’s goofy and fun loving and we both have our bar days well behind us.

Are people seriously asking what do you talk about? Discussions abound - people do live in the same world, politics is the same, art is the same, your day to day life is important. Do you think that somehow the younger can only discuss Justin Bieber and the older can only discuss Richard Gere? I just don't understand thinking that is a problem in an age gap relationship. Adult conversations are the same no matter what age you are unless you're an idiot.

The bigger problem may actually prove to be the physical differences - health, energy, etc.

My parents are together since nearly 60 years. They met when they were 32 and 20. Now they are 91 and 79 and still going strong.

I’ve never heard of a huge age difference where the older guy has less money than the younger one. NEVER!

What you are talking about is more about interests and perspectives. I am polite amongst my younger friends. But I wince when I hear them way off base on things like politics and history. And I am just talking about facts, not opinions. You are the idiot r31. If you can't recognize the difference, then you must be young or stupid.

Did I mention I'm a CEO? I am and my husband is a peasant. It's a perfect match. 43 year age difference. He was swabbing my deck and I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

LOL r35. Your husband is probably also a little fattie with no self esteem.

Can anyone refute R33?

Bueller?

11 years apart and together for nearly 25 and counting. Two of the couples we are closest to have 15-year gaps and great relationships,

Ok, r38. I am happy for you and your friends. If it doesn't work out, Colinboy might be willing to step in.

I met my first husband when I was 26 and he was 40. We were together for 13 years... and then he died.

I make more than my older husband R33. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Details R41. How can you respect him?

I'm 50 and partner is 63, we met 3 years ago.

I don't think the age difference matters as much when you're past 40 or 45.

He's the best thing - 98% of the time. There are a few small irritating things he does, but it's really NOTHING compared to my other exes.

Kind, handsome, fun, energetic, artistic - the whole package. Don't know what life will bring us, but enjoying the now and have ZERO regrets or thoughts of anyone else.

The older you get the more money you ought to have (worked longer, opportunity for promotion, savings account, stock portfolio and better financial sense). Unless you're a dumbass and age as a bigger dumbass or grew up a trust fund kid, that's life, man. So, if you date someone even a little older, much less over ten years older, they're going to be better off than their younger counterpart.

R7 should have more WWs!!!

[quote] He hit 70 and I swear to god, something switched and he suddenly seemed ancient. I couldn't do it.

Do you mean he suddenly became an old man, sitting in front of the TV all day and watching garbage like 'The Price is Right' or did he suddenly become physically unattractive to you?

When I was with a guy 12 years younger for over a decade he left me for a guy 12 years younger than him. And that guy looked like me when I was his age. It was revolting. But I perfectly understand that people can seem to change in desirability overnight. Its silly because most relationships are not about physical attraction after a few years. I mean, really. But that ex choosing a younger version of me to start again, that's just weird and sad.

R19. R16 here. Did you even bother to read my posting—I was 38, he was 58. Neither of us “wasted our youth” as you put it. Both academics, so always have plenty to talk about. And nothing “gross about it—what are you, 12?

Sorry to hear the R47. How much of your money did he get?

Old and/or desperate pervs can convince themselves of anything. "I know he's 20 years younger, but we're a great match." "We've been together 15 years, and still going strong. I mean, he cheats on the side, and I pay the bills, but we're super happy!"

R16, help me out here. Maybe I am missing something.

[quote] My BF is 29, Im 66...been together 8.5 years. No problems whatsoever.

and then

[quote] [R19]. [R16] here. Did you even bother to read my posting—I was 38, he was 58. Neither of us “wasted our youth” as you put it. Both academics, so always have plenty to talk about. And nothing “gross about it—what are you, 12?

What am I missing that doesn't make you look like a complete asshat?

I was taken advantage of and abused for several years when a teen by someone 40 years older than I was.

No, it didn't "work." But a lifetime of therapy (he killed himself after begging me to do it) has helped.

Some of the jokes here are funny.

I posted above with a 10 year age difference from my partner. Maybe it’s the younger posters who don’t realize that many conversational topics can appeal to people of all ages, and adults will find things of interest to discuss together if they want to.

Obviously it depends on the people involved. Some people will share a lot in common and others won’t, but sharing things in common is not really that important as loving and caring about each other enough to want to make a life together, and having and understanding and respect for who your partner is as a person.

Make a lifetime movie r53.

Have you convinced yourself yet?

No, I don’t need to convince myself or anyone else. But there IS life after youth, and age is not always the factor that makes or breaks a relationship. No one will be young forever (not even you, dear R54) so we are all likely to discover for ourselves that your age will change but you will largely be the same “you” you were all along. And something about that “you” may be what appeals to someone who happens to be younger.

Oh, come on r55. What's the income difference?

It’s considerable, but I am the younger one and make more, which would seem to disprove your point, R56. Have a great day!

15 years difference, 30 years together

Sounds like someone is going to be in assisted living very soon, r57. Why do you keep flopping from the old guy to the young guy?

It doesn't matter. If you have found something that works for both of you, then great. I wish you the best of luck.

R59 you seem like an angry bitter person. Try to find some happiness yourself rather than pick fights with other people. You seem like you can’t get along with anyone.

I did NOT write R48...some stupid fuck is responding to stuff I already replied to. Have we really come down to this, or has this been going on for a while? Bunch of fucking dumbasses.

I’m not flopping from anything to anything. I entered the conversation at R20. You seem “triggered.” 😂😂😂 If it doesn’t work for you, fine, but it works fine for some of us. Sheesh.

R42 -

Because he has a wonderful personality (yeah, that's a thing), is handsome, and makes me happy. He doesn't make SUBSTANTIALLY less than me, and it's stable employment. Trust is worth far more than money and I never have to worry about infidelity in the relationship. No drama is priceless. I've had enough ho-ish sex to last me 50 lifetimes so I'd rather be happy and content rather than constantly gambling on a roulette wheel of soul-sucking apps or tricks in bars.

Contrast that to my best girlfriend who recently dumped her boyfriend and is still wanting to know what kind of car her date(s) drive, how much money they have, etc. Have fun getting with players over and over. She's a catch and hot, but now she's back to feeling lonely. I told her I'd have 0 patience and sympathy for ending a relationship in the age of COVID where that would be a fucking given.

So I have nothing but respect and love for my much older husband who makes less money than me. :)

[Quote] He hit 70 and I swear to god, something switched and he suddenly seemed ancient. I couldn't do it.

This is interesting and I'm not judging. Somewhere in a wistfully poignant place I understand r6 for having felt this way.

My apologies R57. I did get you mixed up with a separate poster. Maybe I am the one with dementia lol.

R16 is the one claiming the Joy Reid defense. After he posed as two different people.

Congrats on the relationship.

I posted as R16 and R21 ONLY. I DID NOT POST R48! WTF? Its simple enough to figure out

Ha Ha Ha

Yes, r16. Somebody gave enough of a fuck to sabotage you.

I don't expect you to grow up and own it. But you should just quit defending it.

R66, you lie!

You posted at R66, too!

Can we believe nothing you say?

Why the need for full disclosure for anonymous posts? Sign your name if anonymity is not your game.

Beauty fades, but stupid is forever!

I think dumping somebody for hitting 70 invites too much karma into the room.

30 years age difference here. Been together 22 years. We met when I was in college and he was a professor on campus (not mine). I'm 42 now, and he's 72. Married 7 years. No children. They say relationships take a lot of work, but ours has been just the opposite - it been low maintenance, extremely easy and relaxed. I'm worried about what my life will be like after he is gone. It's hard to capture lightning in a bottle twice.

Depends on how you classify that relationship. I guess it works for some, but I really don't get it. Whatever works.

Melania & Donald. 25-year age difference. She married him for his looks and personality, and that's it!

[quote] I'm worried about what my life will be like after he is gone

I'm 63 and my partner is 48 and, from time to time, I ponder what he'll do after I die. I've told him I want him to find someone new to fuck and keep him company, but we never really have a serious discussion about it. I'm in good health and theoretically he could go before I do, but I figure, statistically, I'm likely to die first.

Having said all that, with AIDS and now COVID, we're constantly reminded that there are no guarantees, so just live your life and let the chips fall where they may.

Gross, who wants to change adult diapers in their 40s? Yuck 🤢

You sound young and immature R76.

I heard a siren stop on my street, but I didn’t want to get up off the couch to see what was happening.

Oookaaay, R78. Good for you?

R76, how stupid are you? You think people in their 50s and 60s are in adult diapers? Karma is going to paralyze your ass by hitting you with a bus.

26 and 50 when we met, married two years later and now it’s been six years. We live in his (European) country so there was a cultural gap as well as an age one. Having to learn a new language (although we mostly speak English at home) has forced me to become more reflective? instead of just blurting out the first thing on my mind. So really, the difference in ages is not a big issue in the scheme of things. I’m very happy with our life.

Well, I’m a Capricorn Venus/Mars person and Saturn Rising person, so naturally I’d love to date someone 10-15 years older😂🙄

In all seriousness, though😅 My celebrity and IRL crushes are mostly in their 40s & 50s, but for some reason I only attract people younger than me (sometimes by several years) who I’d feel self-conscious and awkward about dating even if I were into them (which I’m mostly not). I didn’t like my peer group or people younger than me when I was a kid/teen (I was bullied by those my own age), and my feelings have not changed on that score.

Maybe my quandary is a sign from the cosmos that I need to mature some in myself before I get into a relationship.

For most age gap couples I know, they seem very happy.

I agree with the poster up thread who pointed out it is usually a security for youth transaction. And that security doesn't always have to be monetary. I have a close friend, almost 20 years my junior. We have had sex before, but I ended it because we just weren't on the same wavelength. He had some growing up to do, and he wouldn't have been able to do it if I kept making his life easy. Not just because of the money, but because of the emotional security. I just couldn't keep him like some puppy dog. He has since matured both emotionally and mentally, and we remain close. I never regret that decision because I am so happy to see him coming into his own.

Worked for me.

This thread is depressing. Things aren't looking good for a future with me and Logan Lerman.

If you set realistic goals you won't be disappointed R85.

Your life R72 is going to be very lonely after he leaves. Take a look around at all the men your age and how many find love.

Actually, look at your own partner who chose someone young enough to be his son while the other men his age couldn't find a partner because they all wanted the young men but no one wanted them. Realistically you'll be like those men. You're not even at the age your partner was when he started dating you.

19.5 years apart, 7.5 years together

Nod to r87. When one partner wants to keep the other around, they will go to great lengths to make it easy for their partners to stay. It might seem like bliss. But they are like pickpockets. Only, they are lifting your youth. I know of what I speak.

Better to be your own man and not be coddled. By the time you wise up, it is too late

Many lesbians also have age differences.

There used to be a whole thread devoted to this couple. There is a 27 year age gap.

I’m still convinced it’s for money, just like some fish do. There’s nothing wrong with that, we all have our reasons for being together.

A friend, 67 is living with a 22 year old for the last 2 years.

The older guy delays liked from 27 to 26, and the kid only likes older guys. My friend’s youngest son is 37....

Very strange situation.

I know many couples with 10+ year age differences.

The only thing they had in common was that they were "ready" for serious relationship so overlooking the age gap was the easiest thing to do when they were compatible otherwise.

[quote]The older guy delays liked from 27 to 26....

Wait, what, R93???

They don't like being called 'daddy & son'.

Yes. I'm 20, my partner is 58. We've been officially together for a year now.

Fat hillbillies don't pay any attention to age differences.

oh god

Anyone else have good stories

[quote] Yes. I'm 20, my partner is 58. We've been officially together for a year now.

Yes. I'm 20, my partner is 58. We've been officially using each other for a year now.

There. Fixed that for you. No charge.

*gag*

I tried dating a boomer who was 25 years older than me and it was a disaster. He was such a whiney entitled prick and I know I annoyed him too. Also he was too sensitive about his age. He’d imagine I was making a jab at his age when I honestly had no intention of doing that. I was 30 and he was 55.

I’m looking for a dude over 90 with lots of money and no family. He must not be into sex anymore.