Why do some gay men always rag on feminine gay men?

“For the fanss”

The guy in the video is cute.

[quote]The guy in the video is cute

Thank you for this important contribution

Because if we’re not constantly forming circular firing squads, who are we?

Cue the 45 posts of I AM A DUDE AND I WANT TO FUCK MANLY MAN DUDES NOT WOMEN

I’m gay. I’m homophobic. It happens.

It's usually bottoms who rag on feminine gays. They don't like the competition, so targeting the gayvoice/gayface of fems is low-hanging fruit (no pun intended).

I have noticed it is usually bottoms who hate these qualities in themselves. Maybe they think that by trashing someone for being feminine, they'll look less feminine in comparison.

Gay people have the same capacity to be assholes as straight people; haven't you noticed?

Bottoms hate other bottoms. News at 11.

Even many tops hate many fem gays. I know many gay men over the years who have spoken about how gross fem gays are

First dude with wild hair is a hot jock bro

Yes, it’s self-hatred in part, but I also think it comes from an unconscious “don’t make bullets for the enemy” mentality born of an instinct for self-preservation. The “enemy” in this case being homophobic heterosexuals. Flamboyant effeminate behavior plays into gay stereotypes that have brought on us gays derision, ostracism, abuse and physical harm.

+1 on the bottoms hating on other bottoms and initially being shocked at the fact that guys I considered flames-from-space femme were almost always the ones complaining that other bottoms were just too "gay" and saying things like "I may wear a metallic pink thong, but at least mine isn't covered with [italic]glitter!![/italic] like John Mark Keith's is

Etc

Ironic.

Because I would have clocked the two guys in the video as screaming queens with serious gay voice who sounded exactly like the person they were belittling.

Both were slobbering fuckmuppets...

[quote]Even many tops hate many fem gays.

Tops are too busy fucking to waste any time hating on fem guys.

Was thinking the femme bottoms hating on other femme bottoms is not dissimilar to fat girls pointing out that other fat girls are even fatter.

[quote] Like, are they homophobic

No, they just want gay men to be represented by men who are considered attractive to society.

The assumption that gay men are naturally clumsy / whimsical / have "gay face" (are ugly) / have "gay voice" ( have an annoying voice) etc. etc. is actually homophobic.

The prick in that video is also a Trump supporter. Not surprised.

R18

It’s not an assumption. Many gay men are like that, and that’s just fine. They should be able to be themselves without vitriol from other gay men (who ironically have at least some effeminate qualities themselves).

Also similar: the way that people who are Black, Latino, Jewish, Italian, Irish, Southern, etc. will make snide comments about people who they feel are too stereotypically Black, Latino, Jewish, Italian, Irish, Southern, etc.

He's apologized via twitter. Seems like an okay apology but who knows these days.

He's set his insta and tiktok to private. He's got 10k subscribers on YouTube with only 2 vids from 4 mos ago (one vid is a long one of his "coming out" saga involving unaccepting parents. In case you care he's Cameron Peña on YouTube)

The claims of him being a Trumper are suspicious because the t-shirt "evidence" is NOT a caricature of Trump on the t-shirt and the logo's different so it may be a satire referencing something else but, again, who knows.

At least he apologized with what appears to be intent of ignoring or doubling down. He might be just young and dumb and not malicious.

I'm R22 and have some word salad to fix

Meant to say: "At least he apologized with what appears to be intent [italic[INSTEAD[/italic] of ignoring or doubling down."

Haha I'm R22 and R23 I messed up my fix of my first mess up. I'm not trying again :-)

Wow. That video is incredibly mean. That poor barista did nothing to those two guys and now he’s in a video that’s going viral being made fun of. I have little hope for the “Tik Tok” generation.

The guy in the video is 5’1”

[R22] Wow. You mean he apologised only after many people called him out on his crap and told him that the video wasn't actually funny and he realised he could lose his followers. I hate that people say "let's forgive" because someone says sorry after being called out on something. They will of course apologise because they don't want to lose their career. The ones that don't apologise are too stupid to realise that they aren't as popular with everyone as they think they are. He isn't actually sorry and will continue to do such things, just not in front of people.

I don't get people making fun of him being short because short guys are totally hot and it also makes fun of every other person that is 5'1" and doesn't help anything.

Gay guys that hate on feminine gay guys should look at history and realise that if these "undesirables" weren't so loud and proud then certain privileges afforded to gays may not be a thing right now.

R25 Nobody will recognize the barista with that cam angle and face mask. But he will probably recognize those douche-gays next time they come in and hopefully put some spit in their Mochas.

R22 here. Yeah R27 I understand he had to be told it was bad. I have no opinion of the apology being done because all apologies seem the same, no matter real or fake. I saw people on twitter were calling b.s. and posted a different tiktok of him and his pal scoffing at "the haters." But I still say, who knows? Maybe he's just young and dumb and this was a lesson. Or maybe not. I'll judge his future behavior.

Also I'm 100% with you about the fems (and queens and campys) of yesteryear taking the brunt of the work and making so much headway for gays of all stripes today. I really wish self-called "masc " gays of today would learn and appreciate that. Because those bygone queers are a big fucking reason this younger gen can even BE out of the closet in some form or another these days.

R27 I don’t think people are making fun of his height on a purely separate basis, I think it’s being drawn attention to in that, to make fun of someone’s voice (immutable characteristic in the main) is akin to making fun of someone’s height. I’m sure he’s been made fun of in the past about his stature, you would hope he would have gleaned some wisdom from undergoing that, his meanness about the baristas voice suggests otherwise.

[quote] It’s not an assumption. Many gay men are like that, and that’s just fine. They should be able to be themselves without vitriol from other gay men (who ironically have at least some effeminate qualities themselves).

If it weren't an assumption then this is how the thread would read:

"Many MEN always rag on feminine MEN..."

Your comment would read;

"Many MEN are like that and that's just fine."

Yes it's fine that some MEN are like that. But unfortunately, men who are like that are considered unattractive and useless. Unfortunately people assume that men who are like that are gay. Unfortunately this means that people assume that gay men are all unattractive and useless. The problem isn't gay men. The problem is that men who are like this are assumed to be unattractive and useless. Gay men aren't ALWAYS to blame. It's like blaming all gay men for homophobia.

R31 just because you consider men like that unattractive and useless doesn’t mean everyone does? I evaluate men on a case by case basis. I’m guessing you’re also R18 where you equate ‘gay face’ and ‘ugly’ as being synonymous. That’s your problem to overcome, and I actually don’t think that’s a consensus necessarily. You probably curl your toes when you hear a ‘gay voice’ when with straight friends or a family member do you?

the guy speaking sounds pretty gay to me. Pretty painful to see someone trying so hard to affect a “non-gay” demeanor in order to make fun of someone just doing their job.

Gay population = 6% tops , 27% vers (aka soft tops/hungry bottoms) 60% bottoms, 6,8% Datalounger (=no sex please, we're into Judy, Liza and the Golden Girls) 0,2 % asexuals.Do the maths.

[quote] I’m guessing you’re also [R18] where you equate ‘gay face’ and ‘ugly’ as being synonymous.

I am R18. Please give me an example of a leading man in a Hollywood blockbuster with "gay face".

The only reason people say "gay face" is because they assume that all men with a certain kind of unattractive face are gay. And yes, it's unattractive.

In my experience most gay men are vers.

I want to open a gay bar called “Low Hanging Fruit”.

R35 lol what do leading men in hollywood blockbusters have to do with anything? I think you have a loose grip on reality. Your benchmarks are off. And again, just because you say something doesn’t mean it’s true.

[quote]w hat do leading men in hollywood blockbusters have to do with anything?

Because leading men in hollywood blockbusters are perfect examples of what society deems an attractive male specimen.

[quote] 6,8% Datalounger (=no sex please, we're into Judy, Liza and the Golden Girls)

And FOLLIES!

R39 your thoughts are disorganized. Just because a generic type is not ‘hollywood leading man’ doesn’t mean that they’re ugly or undesirable. For instance I doubt many people’s favourite fruit is a plum but that doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily gross?

[quote]Why do some gay men always rag on feminine gay men?

Nice try, "gay men are self-loathing homophobes" troll.

Your choice of predicate gives you away, you bloody cunt.

Thank you, R36, I get tired of this top/bottom game.

Seem SUPER apologetic here.

[quote] your thoughts are disorganized / you have a loose grip on reality

Get over yourself.

The point that I was originally trying to make is that you should point fingers at everyone and/or try to fix the problem by attacking the cause of iit rather than blaming gay men specifically for whatever flack people are taking.

Reality : men with "gay face", "gay voice", femme mannerisms aren't considered attractive by the majority of people. Make people consider them attractive so that they are considered good examples amd then gay men will stop fucking with them because they are just another reason for gay me to take shit from people or be used as an example for "the worst thing that a man can be".

Gay guys like these need to pull their heads in and live and let live. Christ havent they got better things to complain about?

I'm not into bears or fat guys but I dont go on and on about them. They're just not my thing, they're somebody elses, and thats fine, each to their own

Fems played, and to some extent still play an important part in making headway for gay rights, and have always borne the brunt of homophobia because they are so obvious, like what R27 and R29 pointed out. And they still do. The rest of us should be thankful, and work with them not pull them down

And yes, personally I find "gay face" extremely attractive

....