The Datalounge Rule Book

If you're going to be a cunt, don't be a dick about it!

It's always, ALWAYS WHET, and never, ever WEHT.

Anyone who tries to set rules for Datalounge should take a shower with a barber wire loofah and scrub like Faye in Mommie.

Barbed.

When you polish the floor, you have to MOVE the tree

R2 and always always ALWAYS “Pron” too, right?

I’m reading a whole thread about pron and it’s consistently spelled correctly, which means for DL, misspelled.

You may only claim to look 8 or fewer years younger and maintain your credibility.

OP, I agree totally with your rule about bumping. I don't understand why people bump threads that are only a few hours old. It must be done by a very insecure (and bored) OP. I imagine some caftan-wearing cunt waiting, waiting, waiting for someone to respond to his thread...until the wait becomes unbearable. He's afraid he's been relegated to the trash heap of DL so throws himself the attention grabbing lifesaver of the bump. Ugh. Almost as bad as the 'one topic' asshole who posts 2 or 3 threads on the same topic within minutes.

The first rule of fight club is there is no fight club.

It's Lens Dunham.

The Book of OP’s Pet Peeves.

Bump.

Proper etiquette dictates that when starting a "Part 2" of a thread OP must link to Part 1 or risk a scolding.

Also, if you are not OP of Part 1, ask OP if they will be starting a Part 2 before you take it upon yourself to start a Part 2, this will avoid any hard feelings between OP and self appointed OP of Part 2.

I so want to start a thread right now: The Datalounge Rule Book Part 2

post random THOT unrelated to topic

crypt-dwelling eldergay screech about THOT having shaved pubes

If you violate the rules* you will be banned from posting for an unspecified period of time. Just be patient.

*The rules are not easily found and are out of date.

Robotic discussion even more soul killing than the day's thread about Madonna's face, and Madonna's face.

Irrelevant mention of Trump Family member.

Call someone Boris when you don’t agree with them. Or “sure, Jan”.

Any mention of oral-anal contact activates the fainting couches.

Never mention...

No calling a fellow poster a "fucktard." Leave that cretinous language for the teenagers on Reddit.

thread-killing sidebar, a bitter slapping contest running over 50 posts between 2 hissing queens, one unemployed and the other retired, both untreated OCD trolls

Bump.

One should always refrain from posting until a suitably bitchy R1 has been composed and posted.

[quote] Proper etiquette dictates that when starting a "Part 2" of a thread OP must link to Part 1 or risk a scolding.

I HATE when people don’t follow this.

R23 But can I refer to Trump as 'Trumptard' or 'the Trumptard'? I need to know before today's corona update/press conference.

Thank you and best wishes.

Bump.

Sandra Bernhard can say n*gg*r and DLers can type RETARD.

R28 Correction to myself before the grammar queen bites me:

[quote]But can I refer to Trump as 'Trumptard' or 'the Trumptard'?

...MAY I refer to...

LOL at r29

There is a troll on every thread who will hysterically accuse you of lying and being a frau.

Agree about the 2015 thread bumper

1. Spellcheck! DL has tons of frustrated school marms and former English majors who will jump on any infraction and you'll get an "Oh dear" within seconds of posting.

2. Grammar! (See explanation for #1.)

3. Never start a thread without posting a photo for visual reference! Photo should preferably include a half-clothed male. Example attached for a post about dog collars.

4. DL requires use lots of exclamation marks for emphasis!

[quote]Sandra Bernhard can say n*gg*r and DLers can type RETARD.

R30 That doesn't make it right!

Yeesh. Didn't your mother teach you?

It's a rule, shut up! Fuck off!

R35 I agree with everything except the spellcheck thing. I think spellcheck is the downfall for many of the posts and that's why they hurriedly do the ^^ before the Oh Dears and Marys can get to them. Other than that, I love 3 and 4, especially 3. Beautiful teeth and gorgeous shoulders. Thanks for sharing.

R53 is a racist and a Russian troll with no posting history. Trolldar alert.

R35 Oh wait! I didn't mean spellcheck, I meant autocorrect. Autocorrect manages to change the comment to some nonsensical blurb and then the poor doof has to correct himself before he gets Oh Deared.

If you ignore R39 you’ll see it’s a racist, Anti-Trans troll!!!!!!

R40 - Oh dear.

R35

R20 Disagree all you want. I have plan. Get Moose and Squirrel!

I wish someone would explain what all the little numbers next to thread/recents mean

If someone calls you dumb, claim you have a 150 IQ and went to Harvard

If someone calls you out on your racist MAGA comments, claim that you're black and/or a lifelong Democrat

R44 It means the number of comments that were posted since you last looked.

You can't cut/paste a thread title, have that also be the only comment under the title, and it is also the verbatim title of the attached article/photo. Lazy. If you can't write something original, don't post.

If you don't / won't read the OP's entire post, don't comment.

What does Bump mean?

It's anti-semitism, Rose. "Bump" refers to a big Jewish nose, so a liberal elite who would look down on the thread.

R49 I'm not sure. I think it might keep the thread alive - or bring it back to life - by giving it precedent on the main DL page. I'm not sure about this because I'm new.

When creating a poll, you must include a "Vivian Vance" option.

And if you can't figure out how to accomplish that, then you're obviously not savvy enough in the subject matter to even be doing a poll.

No alleging that a guy with phimosis is hot.

Chris Diamond is a hot skanky hetero porn star with a gorgeous big phimosis dick.

You can never go wrong with caftan and earrings ... and presenting hole.

Can we please get rid of Vivian Vance or enforce some type of punishment for using the name? Banishment perhaps?

Momma's mussy is always wet when it comes to delicious cage meat.

Celebrate the shade.

Ignore the hate.

I'm still confused about mussy and bussy. I only have the one hole.

You can never have enough butt gifs in a thread.

Prancing Ponies.....Enough said.

Gary Morton talked Lucy out of every role in Hollywood history

absolutely must respond to Erna with some form of "Shiteating Nazi" etc.y

No frau cunts.

When OP links to an article and cuts and pastes part the text of an article into a post, it is important to attack OP for whatever the article is about.

E.g., if the article is about "Youth pastor rapes dog", someone will rage against OP for "what you awful pastors do to dogs like that".

Respect my boundaries. And eat nutloaf.

NEVER link to a FoxNews website on the Data Lounge!!!

Don't post links to image sharing sites that force the user to view dumb straight porn animated gifs when they just want to see the image the poster is sharing.

Don't post CNN links, this site won't let you for some reason

Create a thread out of Yahoo click-bait from 6 months ago, likely computer generated text. The gays ARE SURE TO LOVE THIS and the thread will be the party of the day!

generously sprinkle posts with inside-baseball references to a, Erna, and Muriel.

refuse to explain these references when asked.

OMG - I just turned into the 'a-thread-has-already-been-started-on-this-topic' asshole! I don't know what came over me but if we had a DL Rule Book, I'm curious what my punishment would be. Whatever it is, I deserve it.

R71 I've been lucky on a couple occasions to have a sympathetic DLer answer my plea for help. Of course, I have no idea if they were telling me the truth but at least I got an answer.

There shall be no praise whatsoever for Republicans.

There shall be no criticism whatsoever for Democrats.

You have been warned. Step out of line and you will be red tagged. OnThere shall be no praise whatsoever for Republicans.

There shall be no criticism whatsoever for Democrats.

You have been warned. Step out of line and you will be red tagged.

r73, and yet plenty of trolls like you attack Democrats. You're still here, and you haven't been redtagged

Can't we all just get along?

r74, did r73 attack democrats?

R76 Thanks. I didn't understand R73's comment either...

^^meant R74's comment. Sorry.

No dictating how others should enjoy Datalounge.

I criticize Democrats for acting like Republicans. There’s a huge fucking difference, you goddamn asshole. The more you accuse me of being a Republican, the more it makes you sound like a Republican yourself since you obviously know what to look for.

R80 Well, that comment makes a lot of sense. Yep. You've really cleared up an issue we've all been confused about. Thanks very much.

Now please just lie down until the med cart wheels into your room.

The notion that Republicans deserve any respect around Datalounge is preposterous. They are the ones enabling Trump. So yeah, r73's comment is attacking Democracts being an angry Nazi mob trying to silence the poor, innocent Republican voice of supposed reason around here.

Nazism is only Nazism when “straight“ white Christian males do it, not when they are on the receiving end like they fucking deserve for being Nazis in the first place.

I think r73 was making an observation that r80 and R82 are exemplifying. So it's consistent with OP's post. It's a rule, and we see it in action here.

It's WHET, never WEHT.

What Happened Ever To?

Certain useless, has been, never were, forgotten, or dead celebrities must be mentioned on schedule. There is a every day schedule, 1x a week, 1x a month, 1x a quarter, 1x a year.

Let's take waste of oxygen Belinda Carlisle. She's on the 1x a month plan. DO NOT DEVIATE! Kevin Sessums has 1/4 threads. Don't ask why. A troll stan makes it so. Madonna is a daily. Dead so called Supermodel Gia Carangi is 2x a year. RESPECT THE SCHEDULE!

R86, it's DL damnit. It doesn't need to make sense!

ALL suicides are actually murders. Law enforcement is too lazy to investigate/paid off to ignore the obvious.

Does this even need saying?

All hawt purported straight men are really gay, gay, gay!

The Kevin Spaceys, Aaron's Rodgers', Ryan Seacrests and the like who are obvious closest cases hiding in plastic saran wrap closets shall be addressed with only the following definitive pronouns... Ms, Lady, La or Queen

Bisexuality does not exist!

All conversations, even if they are on the prime interest rate or Maria Callas, shall end up debating circumcision versus non-circumcision.

So say I! So shall it be done!

Always do a search first before posting a thread. There could have possibly been a thread posted within the last ten years and you will need to re start that thread or someone will have a shit fit.

R89, a lot of internet conspiracy theorists and crime buffs think that. Based on their rantings you would think no one actually commits suicide

Everybody on DL is worse than Hitler sometimes!

Helen Lawson is omnipotent.

[quote] Helen Lawson is omnipotent.

How can she be that without a penis?

Fuck you, R97.

I had my tubes tied off after my seventh abortion.

Nothing's coming out of this hole except whatever an executive producer deposits there.

The name "Aaron Schock" should always be preceded or followed by "cockgobbler" or "La Belle Cockgobbler."

Lindsey Graham's pronouns are "she" and "her"

If you're going to bump something, make sure it's from 2015.

The DL is like a vintage clothing store; you have to rummage through a lot of hideous crap to get to the good stuff.

[quote]Dead so called Supermodel Gia Carangi is 2x a year. RESPECT THE SCHEDULE!

It is important that attached pics of celebs show them at their very best, or their very worst.

Bump

Lindsey Graham's FL first name always is "Ladybird."

Racist humor, camp commentary and satirical observations are tolerated only among when posted by non-racists.

And you know how well the honor code here at the DL is maintained, so it's no problem.

"Cunt," "gunt," "twat, "bitch" and "gape monster" are non-sex-specific and apply to all gender constructions or deconstructions or polynary assertions.

Most DLers are appalled by felching so posting a picture can jolt a dying thread to life.

Proofread before you post!! Adults should not be subjected to spelling and grammar that would severely embarrass a six year old.

Rule 1 - ignore all rules in this thread, including this one.

Bump.

Smoking is only allowed outside on the apartment ledge.

[quote] Most DLers are appalled by felching

Only from an unwashed asshole

Never Forget:

You can never have too many Golden Girls threads in your thread watcher.

Do not ever and I mean EVER utter a kind or flattering word of 90s stars that rhyme with Poop and Mulia and not expect heads to expolode and a pitchfork of words to be headed in your direction.

State your boundaries NOW so you don't have to state them LATER!

Avoid embarrassment and know when you ate corn.

Datalounge is still very lax about the rules whether to have an extra fresh towel for your trick or not.

And don't get me started on the draining the pasta thing. Never a clear consensus.

Always have everything ready for a grease fire. You never know when you need one.

Sorry r23 but I love that word. Sometimes it's completely appropriate.

I'll just leave this here: T

[quote]Sometimes it's completely appropriate.

And completely juvenile.

R109 I didn't know this was a thing. THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US!

I pity R23 for being a fool!

It's Deb, not Debra, Messing — and she volunteers with Médecins Sans Frontières, has an encyclopedic knowledge of the Rodgers & Hart songbook, and leaves puzzled strangers wondering "Who was that cunt?".

When someone asks for help, attack. Open a can of whoop ass on 'em. Bonus points for vicious sarcasm, mocking, scolding, chiding and suggesting suicide.

Please everyone break ALL supposed rules and annoy the hall monitors.

See if you can bump threads from 2010

No discussing the heathen ABC soaps in the pure, chaste P&G soap threads.

TROLDAR ?

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

No stalking anonymous posts. This means not ferreting other anon posts and telling the poster he said such and such elsewhere.

[italic]Secret Storm[/italic] was neither P&G nor ABC. Where's the place to discuss that?

Never miss an opportunity to complain how much better the DL used to be" and/or how its general intolerability could only be caused by (choose one): Gen Zers (if you're a Boomer); GenXers (if you're a Millennial); or the Boomers (if you are Gen X or Millennial or Gen Z, or were born before 1945).

Always apologize profusely and abjectly to the DL monitors that you've searched the topic before starting a new thread.

If you can't or choose not to dial your telephone with a pencil, then you don't belong here.

R134, that's a rule for life worldwide for most people over 50!

Don't say "cunt"

It wounds

Never take a victory lap and reveal you are the author of a thread or post that garners widespread acclaim.

The cognoscenti know this arcane rule.

It separates the DL pros from the wannabes.

Once you find out someone is a top, you stop insulting them...bitch they are literally wiling to eat your ass so a little respect is in order.

It is proper etiquette when someone posts a thread involving a health concern to inquire about the possibility of acquiring their stuff.

[quote]I had my tubes tied off after my seventh abortion.

How many bottles of Helenesque have we had today?

om·nip·o·tent/ˌämˈnipəd(ə)nt/adjective/(of a deity) having unlimited power; able to do anything.

[quote]Never take a victory lap and reveal you are the author of a thread or post that garners widespread acclaim.

Unless it is part of an EST.

^^ even then, r143.

It’s simply bad form, old boy.

Pasta: Naked vs Dressed

Never been a problem for me, I'll eat it either way.

The appropriate ratio of caustic disdain to "be brave I'm weeping for you" posts when a "poor me I'm dying" thread arrives is 20:1.

Unfortunately, with all the twats, non-DLers, Frauen and nitwitted fatties here, the actual ration is 1:20.

Don't use the DL as a place to beg sympathy and play your dead-dog/mother/bf/turtle/hope/job games. And don't ask for money without an ass shot and an address, date, time and documented health status.

The appropriate response when a outraged self-described person of color accuses a poster of being racist is to declare oneself biracial, at the least.

It helps mitigate the conflation of camp humor and satire with bigotry by reminding the accuser that we're all nasty, both on and under the skinses.

[quote]Lindsey Graham's FL first name always is "Ladybird."

Over my dead, heterosexual body!

I'm biracial by the way.

R140 only 15% of men engage in rimming so shut the fuck up.

Bump

You can never have enough hats, gloves, and shoes.

There is no discussion of personal trauma that is so terrible and horrific that it’s beyond a “MARY!”

In the case of a crime, divorce or something morally questionable:

1. The woman and/or child is always guilty.

2. If the man is ugly, he's guilty.

3. If the man is straight with "gayface" - guilty.

4. The man is always a closeted gay. No exceptions, even if he's ugly.

5. If the man is hot, nobody cares if he's guilty. He's worshipped on multiple threads even if he killed and dismembered a bunch of children. The children are guilty. Also ugly and evil. Hot guy is GOD.

6. Some Dataloungers write romantic letters and send money to prisoners. Don't ask. Their queen is Mama's Mussy. Don't ask either. It's hissing.

[quote]R113 Secret Storm was neither P&G nor ABC. Where's the place to discuss that?

No one has ever answered this for me: how can a storm be “secret”? Is this some variation, like “If a storm happens in a forest and there’s no one there to see it...” ???

There’s no such thing as a secret storm!!

Never start a Tasteful Friends thread about a place that costs less than $1.9 million.

R150 - yeah, all the more reason to appreciate those of us who do. And BTW I have yet to meet a fellow top who doesn't.

R150 - there is nothing like rimming a nice ass until your bottom is going crazy and then fuck and cream it.

Even if there are 5000 previous posts in the thread, you must read every one of them to make sure that what you're posting has not already been said.

Bump.

[quote] There’s no such thing as a secret storm!!

Unless it’s a metaphor for stomach cramps.

R159 = leisured class or unemployed.

R162 Honey, some of us don't understand "irony."

[quote]And BTW I have yet to meet a fellow top who doesn't [rim].

*raises hand*

Never have I ever.

If you start a thread claiming someone is “OMG, hawt!!!” and he’s from some tiny little newscast in Flyoveria or isn’t well-known, you had better post a pic at the OP.

Please assist Jackie if at all possible.

Any man who murders his wife, especially if he also kills his children, is automatically hawt, and his doughy, pale dad bod magically becomes desirable. At least 50 drooling comments must be posted on any thread about the case.

Lol @ r167. Sad, but true.

[Quote] this will avoid any hard feelings between

Yes we try to avoid hard feelings on here. Haha. You're not getting the essence of DL.

If someone fucks up, even accidentally, they MUST be called a FAT WHORE!!

Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t make the rules I just follow them.

"OK, Boris" or "Sure, Jan" are the standbys, but if you want some variety, there's another way to reply to a post you don't like.

"Calm down!" "Unclench!" "Take a Xanax!"

These must only be used when the poster is as unexcited as Ben Stein on Thorazine.

Ok boomer.

R164 - ok so let me get this straight...you like ass like I do enough to fuck it but you won't put your mouth near it? Suppose you don't go all the way to the hole, but at least slap and lick and kiss it?

R173, perhaps he doesn't like ass but just likes to fuck. Perhaps he's an ultra-dom who wouldn't stoop to servicing anyone. Or maybe he's just grossed out by the idea of sticking his tongue in the place shit comes out of. How many layers of double-think do those who love rimming have to go through to forget that?

R174 - I really don't think about that at all when I am horny. As for servicing, I kind of see it as prepping and it gets me off. To each his own I guess. When I was in high school and early college I even ate a few pussies and seeing them writhing with pleasure made it possible to fuck them despite the fact that I would much rather have been fucking men.

[quote] Suppose you don't go all the way to the hole, but at least slap and lick and kiss it?

I have done all of those, r173.

A man may be a Nazi but if he's straight and hawt all is forgiven!

But if he's Black or Jewish, forget it.

Use lots and lots of exclamations!

It's the Datalounge equivalent of jazz hands!

R178 Chad Wolf is possibly Jewish and gets lots of appreciation on other threads!

Yeah, I don't think being Jewish has any negative effect on DL adoration, assuming the man in question qualifes. I'm sure if the Datalounge had been around back in the late '60s and early '70s, Benjamin Netanyahu would have had many multi-part worshipful threads.

ALL Hollywood stars, from 1910 to today, are gay. No exceptions.

Except really ugly ones.

R181 Heck, I would still fuck Bibi now.

If the shoe fit, stick it in poosey.

r184 brings up a good point:

Vairst Letty's genitals are always referred to as her "poosey."

R164 - so then why say "never have I ever...?". If you did all that fine, you didn't technically eat it, but you licked it so it's pretty close.. like an ice cream cone. See my point?

Also I have no idea where R150 gets his data...I mean I work with real estate data all day from the US Census. Is there an organization that keeps track of which of us do what to diverse asses?

R185 - I oonly Vairst Laidee come to site for da gyays and teach dem about my poosey. I smart Laidee architect so they love me because I be best.

Bump

Vairst Laidee wisdom about genitals is the only female welcome to impart her sage advice here. Wonder what she thinks of assholes.

Well, she married one.

Muriel has the only rule book that matters and she shares it with no one. You just take your chances and hope for the best.

R190 - yesss Daddy has anus viery big. Need much of cream for hiemoroid and iss vy Ivanka iss heer.

[quote]When creating a poll, you must include a "Vivian Vance" option.

Anyone else remember the guy who spent weeks just SCREAMING about how awful the Vivian Vance meme was, and claiming he gave multiple FFs to every single person who used it? Definitely needed an adjustment to his meds.

[quote]did [R73] attack democrats?

Yes, obviously, and pretending like you've never seen the other 4000 times this particular alt-right troll post the exact same thing he wrote at R73 is silly. He's done it for years. We've all seen it.

And we've all seen enough far-right, alt-right and pro-Trump trolling on here to know it's not even remotely true.

Concern trolling welcomed in all areas.

I'm very worried about Richard Simmons, has anyone seen him in months?

If you are not a New Yorker ( read Manhattanite), you are not allowed to criticize NYC, but, if you are a Manhattanite, you must start countless threads about why your city is better than anywhere else in the world and criticize that city freely.

Musical theater = Follies.

When posting about anything or anyone you can find an image of online, you must use the most unflattering image you can find.