when did you let yourself go?

Around 35 then again at 44. By 50, I was more consistent. I used to think it was about the gym and cardio - but its really all about how much and what you eat. Self control about intake was the solution for me.

Read this thread title wrong. I thought OP meant something uplifting and spiritual like, “when did you finally let your(concept of) self go?”

What I get for listening to motivational videos as I browse the DL.

Late 10s - Too thin. Too tall and thin. Guys who liked tall thin guys liked me. (IMO) 8/10 to those who liked me, 6-7 otherwise.

Early 20s - Still tall but less comparatively massive as guys filled out. Less thin and the most physically active I've been. Some muscle but not a lot, but enough to attract more guys, though I didn't pursue enough, as in retrospect some of the hottest bi/gay/closeted guys liked me, and it was still college time for these things. More consistently 8/10 unless you're picky for model looks, then 7 tops.

Late 20s - Letting myself go. Gaining 10, 20 lbs more than before. Still relatively thin, but ranging from somewhat skinnyfat to getting fat. Healthy enough diet and exercise to avoid being anything but a little chubby in a few areas. Helpful I have the tall thin frame, but not helpful I have a rather (not very) round face. More consistently 7/10, but only depressingly so on days where I feel heavy - not from fat but from food choice, any lack of sleep, etc.

Teens was 140s-150s lbs (twig, even at that age standard), which then turned to 150s-160s (very thin, tall), then 160s-170s (thin, at most slight bits to grab)... then the longer 20s norms of 170s with pushing into 180s (uh oh) in again, 'skinnyfat' ways. More recently, I've dropped to 170s again, but Covid time brought it to a 180s this year that just looks more properly filled out instead of as unnatural as before. My goal is to drop to 170 or lower again, and gain more muscle bulk and flexibility. One good thing about exiting young adulthood is that muscle gain and tone looks and feels more established and less, I don't know, artificially sculpted? Everything feels more established on me, I just don't want that to include any 'pudge'.

I risk going to my Early 30s breaking into the 190s lbs and actually being chubby. While I physically could handle that, my self image would be shot. As it is, I'm 30 and can appear an okay late 20s. I won't like this year to be the last year I look healthy. (Not saying chubby actually always looks outright unhealthy, but my particular form would suggest it if it happens.)

In other words, I haven't let myself go, but I may be 'letting' myself go, and I'm trying to reverse it. My partner has. I met him when he was mid 20s, a few years older than me, and he had gained his college/post-college fat but was still cute to me, then he dropped some pounds over the years and was fit but still had fat centers, then more recently, in his early 30s, he's actually turned it all around and started getting outright fit and toned. Covid times WFH has reduced his muscle, he's gained a bit of fat that likes to stick to his stomach especially, but he's trying to make things better through his morning yoga etc. If he can turn things around post-30 (and I'm not even as big as he first was; I'm still overall thin), I'm sure I can.

Age 42. I had 2 heart attacks in a 6 month period,and after that I said "fuck it" . Im going to eat what I want,do what I want and enjoy what I want. Im 59 now so I guess Im not doing too badly.

R04 as long as you're okay with dying at least years (if not decades) earlier than otherwise. Because its not *helping* you, that's for sure.

R5 what in the holy fuck do I want to stick around for ??? Old age ? Illness ? Rotting in some nursing home all alone ? Nope. I had an adventure filled life,and was lucky to have found love twice ,but Im alone now and have been since my last hubby died in 2009 . Im okay with that,but I refuse to end up having my ass wiped by some $9 an hour aide that hates their life,and me by proxy.

R06 as a massive nerd I want to at least live into my 80s-90s, in a hopefully better future that takes relatively better care of seniors, with treatments for many of the more intrusive neurological diseases and conditions, and I can finally do a spree of all the PS1 and PS2 games I missed.

Its really funny starting to see seniors come out of the closet on Youtube as big gamers, cheerfully (especially compared to others in their homes, oftentimes) whiling their days through exploring Skyrim, Animal Crossing, or Xenoblade instead of starting at the wall or a tuned-out tv program.

That said, if conditions towards seniors continue to deteriorate, I'm on board with your plan. So far, there's only maybe one younger relative of mine that might take care of me, and I'm not too enthused about the state of nursing here (Canada) even if its better than others.

I agree with you R4 / R6. Enjoy life. The idea of living forever is so greedy. And expensive.

I see so many 90+ year olds being wheeled around west LA and the Valley - hunched over in their wheelchairs and slobbering while being fed by their Caribbean nurses at Jerry’s Deli . People who took impeccable care of their health - so are living forever. But for what? That’s not life - it’s just existence and not a very happy one. And thats for the people with a ton of money who can afford full time live in nurses. The idea of saving yourself for retirement is a myth - like the American Dream.

At 40 when I realized I had to choose continuing being slut adjacent but face diminishing returns in a youth obsessed community or settle into a solid relationship with a great guy. I chose the latter and have no regrets. Put on 20 pounds and stopped obsessing on the latest clothes and my body.